She didn't want to give up just yet. She didn't know why, maybe it was her stubborn Inner and the infuriating itch in her bones, staring at the walls of her pink room trying to sleep. Her desk. Her mirror. She stared at these things until her eyes glazed dully and her breathing slowed, and right before sleep took her, her thoughts came to a sudden clarity.

It must've been… the stories she read. The romances. The knight in shining armor that'd sweep up the princess in his arms, those stories that she shouldn't have borrowed from the library because it was all cheap emotions and nothing in it intellectually stimulating, she knew that yet she took them home. She read them. Sakura eagerly twirled the pages and giggled and dreamed it was Sasuke in the books with her as the princess; Sasuke with his dead monotone and dark, gloomy expression, which made her laugh even more, pause suddenly, stop laughing, shake and scold herself for even reading those childish things in the first place.

Sakura believed in those stories because she believed in heroes. She believed in Naruto. And for some reason she thought that after he died… the world would align and balance itself once again, because it was just nature, it was the right thing to do. Somebody would come in to save the day, the happy ending.

It's been a week, Kyuubi was long gone and yet this wrong had not been made right.

It was a small gathering and an even smaller reception, where she could recognize every face, there was no one here that Naruto knew which she didn't. No parents. Sakura didn't know what to think about that.

The entire rookie class was here, except for Chouji.

"He was one of a kind. The deadlast of our class and resident prankster, he was the only ninja I knew who'd follow his heart before anything else, or dismiss the rules if it was getting in his way." Sakura began, her voice growing steadier as she strung together the words. It was a little tactless the route she was taking but she believed it was something Naruto would do, that Naruto would want her to say. Dismissing the rules, not to mention basic social courtesy, Sakura kept talking if only to steal her chance at revenge.

She told herself she'd pray later.

"Not a lot of people knew him, I sure didn't, I thought he was a just short kid with taste for ramen, miso flavor being his favorite." People stood around the grass and her head was somber over the small memorial. "He wasn't what I thought. He had many secrets behind a happy face and he hid them well, until the only thing I can remember about him was his smile, the color orange, not to mention the last time he asked me out on a date."

They chuckled and laughed, but she couldn't spare a smile.

She knew what she was going to say next, and it wasn't going to be pretty.

"Uchiha Sasuke had a dream of getting revenge. Uzumaki Naruto wanted to become Hokage. I never really had a dream to begin with, I was okay with supporting either of their dreams from the sidelines, because I wanted to be the glue that held the team together. But I failed. Now I think we all know that Sasuke was never-" don't. "never redeemable in the first place."

When Sakura lifted her gaze, she tried to make eye contact with everyone in her vicinity, she tried to do what Naruto would have done. Shout, say something momentarily inappropriate that'd get everyone's attention, before being right in that impossible way he always was. Say the thing that everyone must be thinking.

Her heart raced under her skin like the beat of a hummingbird, fast and panicking and louder than she'd ever been before in her life.

"Sasuke must be stopped!" After she said the words, her heart returned to hammering in her chest, and she inhaled, exhaled, until her pink hair downed like heavy bristles and calmed. Sweat trickled lower on her skin, before she hurriedly wiped her brow.

She looked around even though she told herself she wasn't going to just yet, before she lost her nerve. Sakura found him, tall grey thing hiding in the background, white-shock hair sticking high, mask hiding everything.

She couldn't tell what Kakashi-sensei was thinking.

The doubt churned within her but her mouth kept forming the words. "Sasuke has to be stopped. The happy boy that we all knew, he was going to be Hokage. But he died before he could reach his dreams. His dreams are gone," she said half to herself.

When Sakura looked at Tsunade the air punched out of her stomach. The woman was looking at her too, but she couldn't recognize her brown eyes, dull, far away things, seeing right through her skin. Shizune held Tonton, gaze downcast, embarrassed for her.

Sakura burned bright, bright red.

"We must work together to get Sasuke!" Her fists clenched with a leftover fury. She ignored Shizune, ignored Tsunade, she didn't care if they were disappointed with her because it was already too late. Her green eyes passed over them and she had to keep speaking.

"We must," she emphasized.

After that, it was a long wait. Her breath slowed as the adrenaline slowly left her, dissipated from her muscles. Akamaru whined into the quiet, only a small, almost insignificant sound that broke through the wind and made her jump, suddenly remember exactly where she was standing. When she turned to the sound Kiba couldn't look her in the eyes. Sakura's stare bored as her face muscles twisted, painfully, regretfully, as the damning red flamed up to her ears.

Why was it so quiet? Where was he looking? Her hands were shaking.

She clasped them together before herself and her eyes had fallen. Her voice broke a little, razor sharp at the edges and glass out of her mouth. Sakura swallowed thickly. "B-because Naruto may be gone, but he still lives on in our hearts and our minds."

Neji's eye bandages slipped low and he adjusted them.

"Losing Naruto is one thing, but the mission itself is ongoing, so there's still hope."

Shikamaru clenched his forehead protector in his hand out of respect, the blue ribbons long and still.

"I think it's important to continue his legacy and the legacy of Konoha to never let wrong get away," she said.

When Sakura looked forward, Hinata's face was closed to her, hidden behind the ceremonial bouquet held in her hands.

Sunflowers. Bright and yellow and taller than the girl behind the stalks, peeking a hint of blue hair inbetween.

Maybe it was the color that woke her up, or the two hands hugging the thing to her chest… tiny hiccups with twin shaking shoulders that were too easy to mistake. The flowers stood tall and stiff to move any. She looked small. Innocent.

Young.

Hinata was the only sound in the entire place of a funeral and her voice kept going and going, little noises that stung Sakura with every breath because she couldn't stop. Everyone else was quiet. It was a graveyard full of people; no, Sakura corrected herself… full of ninja. It was heavy and dampening her senses as she watched the group of beaten kids before her, all with varying bruises and old wounds to heal. She couldn't ask them for more. The only thing she could hear was her own heartbeat and Hinata's soft sounds, and nothing else, nothing because Naruto was gone and that didn't mean they lost their best man. They didn't just utterly fail the mission.

They lost something bigger.

Light, delicate sobbing was the singular soundtrack to the thought pealing in her mind, a shot of embarrassment at her naivety and god, please, please, I don't wanna die next too.

She should be ashamed of herself.

Sakura promptly stepped down, and the procession was quickly over, wrapped up, put away and done with without another fuss. She was quiet. Sakura stayed muted and despondent even as she was ushered into the Hokage's office, her black clothes hot and sweaty against her skin.

The desk slammed.

"Now you're trying to take my soldiers out from under me? Huh?! What the hell was that?"

"I'm sorry, Hokage-sama."

"No, you do not get to apologize to me, Sakura, what were you trying to do, do you think you are the Hokage? Can you do my job better than I can, little girl?"

"No."

Tsunade cornered her. "No. And yet I have to see you work against me directly to my face – Sakura, what were you thinking?"

"I don't know," she said thickly, and the words scratched harsh against the lump in her throat. "I don't know."

Tsunade sighed as she looked down on her, green vest removed in place of something black. It made her domineering. It made Sakura shy her face away.

Her voice went curious. "Your teachers tell me that you're not usually like this. Iruka-sensei tells me you rarely talk back. You're smart. You're very intelligent. You must have an answer for yourself."

Sakura mutely shook her head.

Tsunade's eyes softened, she could see them when the woman rested her hand on her shoulder, prompting her to look up at her face. The Hokage was patient, but expectant, holding her stare with cool, brown judgement.

Sakura didn't know what else to say nor did she know what else to do. Naruto always held a thumbs up in hard times like these, with his big stupid smile, large white teeth grinning. His eyes would scrunch into crescents and his lashes were clear, sparkling in blond. He was bright. He… he made her feel like heroes were real.

(But in the end he died a ninja, not a hero.)

Sakura didn't fully process what that could mean yet. She thought maybe that was her own mind trying to protect itself.

Brown eyes went hard. "You need to tell me now, I can't have my ninjas convening their own self-assigned missions, and I don't want to expect this to come up again. Talk."

Sakura swallowed.

Tsunade quickly narrowed her eyes. "Given your recent circumstances… you qualify for psychiatric care with a specialized therapist trained with ninja. You can go there if you like. You can talk." Tsunade's grip tightened until her manicured nails dug into her shoulder and Sakura gasped at the sting. The woman did it on purpose. She looked up with conflicted eyes. "Or, you don't have to talk at all, you can go home permanently. You can quit. I have your information here in order to reinstate you into a trade school, what is it you like, reading? I can get you stationed at the library or as an assistant in one of my military offices."

Sakura spoke in a small voice. "I don't want to quit."

"Is that so? You seem to want to go off and do your own thing as you please, don't you?"

"No, Hokage-sama."

"I have it listed here that you had a crush on your ex-teammate during your Academy stay. It's okay, Sakura. It takes time to reprocess your feelings-"

"No!" she pushed.

"Sakura."

Sakura furrowed her forehead until her brow slanted and her face was tight with the tension. Tsunade's eyes went soft, the warmth of it pissed her off because her patience was damning, Sakura tried to keep count of her breathing.

"I don't know, Hokage-sama, I really don't know. I can't do nothing," she said.

The fingers at her shoulders twitched but she barely noticed.

"Hokage-sama, please. I'm not strong enough by myself. I need help. I don't know what I'm doing but all I can think is I can't do nothing, I can't."

Sakura didn't want Naruto to see her like this.

"I'm not as strong as Sasuke or Naruto, I mean I thought… there was no way he could lose, he was such a good kid. A good person. People like him should live. I'm not like him, I'm-"

"Oi, I think I get it, you can stop it now," the woman clasped her shoulder and Sakura clenched her fists at her sides, the tips of pink bangs and tatami mats consuming her vision.

She was scared.

"You don't have to cry."

"I know," her voice wobbled.

"Naruto understands."

Sakura slowly shook her head.

The rage against Sasuke was still there, buried deep and covered, simmering like a pot on the boil while she felt other things, her shame, Kakashi's quiet, Naruto's smile, her wrists thin as she turned her hands as if to find the strength inside. It wasn't fair when everything became more and more complex, and she itched to do something, act quickly, but she was stuck in herself. It wasn't so simple.

"Alright then." Tsunade straightened her back until she stood tall and imposing, the infamous sannin she was revered to be. Sakura lifted her eyes weakly, a little cautious and distrusting when the Hokage gave her a smirk full of confidence. She was tired, and emotionally empty, tired of policing what to feel, not knowing what she should do.

Lady Tsunade, however, smoothly drove all her worries away.

"I've decided; Sakura. How would you like to become my student?"

His best friend did this.

Sasuke did this.

Hinata waited until everyone had left to finally place the flowers on the stone, the weight of the tall stalks leaving her hands empty and numb. She found them in a meadow a while back, these sunflowers behind the Hokage Mountain for acres, freely swaying themselves to the wind. She decided on the first few because they reminded her of him, bright and yellow and bigger than the whole world that they stood upon.

But where was he standing now? Sasuke had cut him down with his own hands.

"No," she said, and the rusty voice of hers surprised her.

It wasn't her eyes that made her think it, imagine the scene before her of twin energies clashing. It was the done deal of it all, quickly come and quickly gone, the quietness of the funeral and the lack of surprise in her teammates faces because they knew something about Sasuke that she didn't. They expected something like this. Shino had left early and Kiba cursed sharply to himself, turned away from her with Akamaru at his heels.

Hinata frowned in thought. Her pale eyes were open. She found herself focused on the slight dip of Naruto's grave, a hasty job of the stone plant and the way the dirt fell, quick and aerated before compacting by the earlier rain. She remembered that Naruto was their friend too, back in the academy days. She believed that he was somebody special. He could've never get hurt and he could have never ended up here like this, under a stone stabbed in the back by somebody he thought was closest to him. No. No. She thought he deserved better than that out of all people, he deserved more because it was just too terrible to think it, this was the worst way for him to go.

Did he even fight back?

Hinata cried.

She was glad no one was here to see her like this. Not right now. She thought over it, and her hands were shaking realizing that no, he wouldn't have fought back, not really, not seriously, because Sasuke was his friend and Naruto was too kind for that. He would have died… like a sitting duck, thinking of him in only the best. For a moment Hinata couldn't breathe, she whimpered as her lungs ran short for air, clutching at the ends of her jacket, oversize in black and not in the least warm enough.

Neji with his gentle fist glowing sharp blue, pulsing and deadly but not as cold as his eyes, and she could feel what he must have felt, right when the jutsu touched her heart.

She knew exactly how he died.

"He was a good kid." Hinata turned and the man smiled gently at her, air blowing in soft amusement. He was old. "He would've been happy to hear he had such good friends."

"No, sir," she said quietly. She should've realized that these flowers were too late, they'd only wither and rot on his name stone throughout the course of the week and yet he'd never know.

Naruto would never know.

"Oh? Why is that?"

"Because I-" She struggled to admit, "I wasn't his friend."

The man walked to her side, until he was tall and listening, his white hair swaying into her periphery.

"I never really talked to him. I tried to, I wanted to, but I got scared."

The big man hummed.

"So you decided that you're not his friend because of that?"

Hinata got frustrated. "Yes," she said thickly, and she didn't want to be rude but she wanted to be alone now, she didn't want to answer this stranger's questions.

"Ah, sorry, sorry, maybe I should've held my tongue. I just couldn't watch such a young student cry, not someone that was his age. You know him? He was such a hyper kid and I can't begin to think-"

"He's still here," she spoke quietly.

With old, dark eyes he watched her seriously, the lines of his face stretched to his chin like red streams.

"I thought he was… a few days ago, I was so sure."

The man eyed her carefully. "I'm sorry but he's been gone for a week," he said.

Hinata kept her hands to herself and her body in check, everything from her breathing to the shivering of her limbs, to the closed off cross of her arms, defensive and smaller and bothered talking to this man, who frowned at her forehead then turned curious over her eyes.

"Hyuuga… Hanabi; no, the older one, no? Hima-"

"Hinata."

"Ah, right. Hinata."

She shyed from the introductions. She didn't want to talk to him anymore.

"You liked him a lot huh?"

"I'm sorry, mister-"

"Jiraiya."

She swallowed. "Jiraiya-san. I would like to be-" she tried to finish but clipped her tongue, twisting sharply in her mouth. She kept her eyes low and her head even lower but it didn't ease the difficulty of saying it out loud.

Alone. She wanted to be alone. Naruto was gone.

But the man persisted. "Hinata," he said until she was forced to look up at him and he squatted to her height with his large scroll at his back.

"How far is your range of Byakugan?"

Her voice cracked. "W-what? What-t does that have to do with anything?"

"Trust me. You may not know who I am but I work for Konoha as the right hand for the Hokage. I need to know how far your range goes. Did you watch him a lot?"

She never asked for an interrogation. Hinata hugged her thoughts to herself. "Yes."

"Have you noticed anything strange about his chakra, maybe? Once or twice?"

"Yes."

"Was that what you noticed a few days ago, Hinata?"

"Yes."

Jiraiya sighed. It was a sound half with exasperation and understanding, looking at her with wiser eyes. "I know you're tired of talking to me."

Hinata remained silent.

"I just want you to know that I believe you when you said you felt him a few days ago."

She didn't flinch.

"Well, I think that's my cue," he said with a wide stretch of his arms before rising into a stand. Hinata tucked her hands in her pockets and let her bangs fall over her face until Jiraiya-san fully left.

Afterward, she didn't mean to do it. Hinata warned herself no. She activated her Byakugan when he was far far gone, closing her eyes as if she could delay the information from processing but she couldn't. She found nothing of what he was saying, nothing at all, searching desperately only to see the dark chakra outline of the forest trees with no more ninja. Nothing under her feet.

She was finally alone like she wanted.

Neji was the first change. When she looked at him, he bowed for once where he never used to bow before. She was surprised even if she never let it show on her face, curious at his courtesy, frozen when he got to the tatami mats on his knees.

Hinata didn't speak. He rose before walking past her, long hair light in his breeze, brushing cold against her skin. He did what every other Branch House member would do, and allowed her the privacy of the room. He left her alone.

She was called later into the Hokage's office.

"Hinata. We've been discussing about you," the Hokage said as she walked inside, her eyes falling onto the group before her. Her father in his white robes before the godaime's desk, the man from earlier perched against the window. Her sister was here too, hands behind her back, straightened upward like her dad.

Tsunade started. "Jiraiya here is a toad sage of Mount Myoboku, one of the three infamous sannin and my teammate. He is also one of the few master sealers we have left. He will be first in the search and recapture of the Kyuubi. And for that he will need your help."

Her father spoke first.

"You want to take an unsealed Branch out of Konoha? I don't doubt your skill level, Jiraiya-sama, but excuse me when I say your mastery may be beyond both the search for Kyuubi and my daughter's protection."

"She said she can identify the Kyuubi's chakra-"

"She's twelve."

"She's the closest chance we have in recapturing the nine tails. Should the Akatsuki catch wind of the beast we-"

"You're going to be placing her in distance with the Akatsuki? I cannot have any member of my clan in close distance with that terrorist group. Not amongst the traitor Uchiha Itachi. Especially not so soon after this Sasuke's desertation." Her father spoke calmly and clearly, like he always done, dominating the room space. "You understand what that means, don't you? You understand what people may say? The majority of the last free doujutsu of Konoha, outside her bounds? Can you, if not a village, contain them at all?"

"Hiashi." Tsunade ordered.

Her father tucked his hands in his sleeves and bowed. "No disrespect, Hokage-sama."

Godaime sighed. "I understand your concern but this isn't your decision." She turned to her and her father didn't follow the Hokage's eyes, brown and intent as they were. "When Hinata wore that headband she promised loyalty to the village, not her clan. I believe you did as well," she added smartly.

Her father remained bowed and silent.

"However. After further examination towards the danger of this mission, I'm giving her the luxury of choice. Hinata. Would you take this mission?" she asked.

It was then that her father rose but didn't turn to look at her, whether to give her the choice without interference she didn't know, except the two of her family were stiff in back and ignoring her to her face. She felt farther away than she ever felt before. Hinata tried to find something else, some other feeling, maybe hope in succeeding this mission, maybe even finding Naruto again. But she felt nothing. She looked like Hanabi.

Hinata remembered the last time she checked Naruto's chakra, it was blue and beating but stable. It made her feel calm. One day it was like this until it wasn't, until Naruto kept his hand flat to the ground and he looked like he was yelling at himself, though she wasn't close enough to hear. He beat his stomach repeatedly with his other fist and Hinata wanted to help him then, she knew enough about chakra flow that she could reverse gentle fist any blockages, that's what she thought. She activated her Byakugan. Naruto screamed and the red flared like hellsfire, burning her vision and she gasped before she fainted.

Hinata didn't want to relive the memory again. She didn't want to find just what they say Naruto had become.

"May I speak with my daughter… privately?" Hiashi asked.

The Hokage took the time to think about it. Hinata didn't look up though she could tell when the woman was staring, coolly sizing her up and making her assessments. Tsunade clapped twice. A blur of shadows and then the sound of chair legs dragging along the floor, the Godaime donning her hat and cape. Jiraiya-san yawned loudly and stretched. He slipped right behind her and the Hokage bantered with him, flicked him with her finger and he dodged, laughing his way out the door. With a quick bow to father, her sister followed them.

It was quiet.

"I don't agree with this."

Hinata hid under the stare of her father with her hands at her sides.

"Yes, father."

Hiashi beckoned her towards him and Hinata shuffled her feet, keeping her eyes to the ground.

"I give you permission to speak."

Her hair fell into her eyes.

His white stare said nothing. Cold and empty and unblinking. "As a Hyuuga you must think of the clan. The Byakugan is our prized doujutsu and one of the last few defenses left of Konoha. You are Main Branch. You are unsealed. What shall you do if you get captured?" He asked, keeping his eyes on her.

"I don't know, father."

"If you willingly undergo branding, I can release you with confidence."

Her heart stopped.

Hiashi continued. "As exemplary trackers we are tasked in capturing criminals and interpreting vital hidden information on our enemies, our eyes ideal to search the body for any medical inflammation – when did you notice this boy?"

She flushed despite herself.

Her father hummed curiously and she scrunched her eyes, keeping her head bowed as the red crept up her neck and cheeks and ears.

"You're very quiet today."

"I-I'm sorry, father."

"You liked this boy? Neji told me much about him."

"I'm sorry, father." She bowed sharply and the red didn't stop, her heart didn't stop hammering in her chest.

Hiashi never acted immediately. Never showed his intentions in his face. Naruto was dead but just him knowing, finding out anyway made Hinata shake until she clasped her hands, terrified. Unsure of what he would say next.

She didn't know just what left of Naruto he could take away from her.

She remembered he never minded before what either of them did with their free time, Hinata and Hanabi, as long as it was in line with the clan and appropriate to the two of them as his heirs. As his daughters. Hinata was going to keep her love secret, until maybe she was stronger enough… to make her dad proud, to be loud enough to confess.

She would've never told him (either of them) something like this.

"I'm-"

"Go search for him."

She blinked.

Hiashi looked at her with interest. "You have my permission. Go search for him."

Hinata lifted her head slowly, even more unsure than before.

"You won't find Uzumaki Naruto, Hinata, he won't be what you're used to. But I think maybe you'll find what you need in what you were always looking for. Come to terms with your feelings," he said in all complete seriousness.

W-what?

"I can tell that this boy's death has affected you greatly." Hinata nodded to herself and her dad sighed. "I am only sorry I hadn't noticed my eldest daughter sooner."

She needed to ask. "W-why?"

He hummed deeply. "I admit I still disagree, not including the ultimate power of the ninetails: the strongest of the tailed beasts in existence. Do you know the story? The Kyuubi attacked the village 12 years ago, devastating everything until it was finally sealed into your friend."

Her eyes widened.

"Yes, Uzumaki Naruto was the carrier of the demon. At least he was, until just recently. Finding it, locating it, recapturing it… you may be young for the task but it is in your blood."

He spoke with clear intonation, standing straight before her with full confidence.

"Do as Jiraiya-sama says and never close your eyes, always look one step ahead. Strike with confidence," he ordered and Hinata jumbled at the sudden change of heart, she nodded quickly.

When enough time passed for him to size her well she knew not to say anything to interrupt, because the Hyuuga always spoke with their eyes. Hiashi watched her fidget, still feeling belatedly ashamed at his discovery, confused over just what he was telling her to do.

What else was there to find? Everyone told her Naruto was gone.

White eyes went hard and she flinched feeling small in her skin; Hinata's heart raced. Her father's Byakugan was activated before her sight for the second time in her life but his voice… his voice was old and dark. "Remember this distinction well, Hinata. Should anyone make the mistake. The Hyuuga are the hunters and we are nothing like the Uchihas… we don't summon demons."