Disclaimer: All original property is not owned by us and we do not infer that any characters, creations or the concept of 'Rizzoli & Isles' are our property and the following fan fiction has been written purely for entertainment purposes only.
Flutter: Part Three
Frankie was sprawled out on Jane's couch watching a movie on her television, Jo Friday happily curled up on his legs asleep when Jane finally pushed into her place.
"Hey, you're back..." He tried not to grin or give away that he knew the real purpose of her outing with Maura until he had better gauged whether the doctor had opted to go through with her plan and figured out how his sister had reacted. "Did you bring leftovers?"
"No." Jane's answer was in no way curt or sharp it was just almost void of emotion. "Thanks for looking after Jo." She moved over to hang up her jacket then moved into the kitchen. "You can go home now." She urged her brother to move and leave.
"Can't I watch the end of the movie?" Frankie looked over the back of the couch at her frowning. "What's wrong with you?" He quirked an eyebrow at her. "I brought beer." He pointed towards the fridge.
"How long is it?" Jane leaned her hand on a top kitchen cupboard not looking through into the sitting area at him. "I'm just not in the mood for company, being out in the sun gave me a headache."
"It's fine, if you're that anti-social I'll just finish my beer." Frankie flicked off the TV and picked up the half empty bottle from the table. "So how was the run through? Does the Doc have some smooth moves or what?"
"It's Maura you know she does, everything she does is planned and perfect." Jane sighed as she got herself a glass from the cupboard she had been leaned against with a sigh. Putting it down on the worktop, her hand moved almost unbidden to the pocket that held the small swatch of calligraphy filled material, her breath catching in her throat as she felt her own hand press against her hip. "I don't really want to talk about it Frankie."
"I wish it was me she was doing all this set up for, I mean not only is this mystery guy lucky enough to have Dr. Isles, the beautiful, smart, successful woman that she is pinning for him, she's actually going to do the hard bit and put herself out there first to try and start things." Frankie leaned against the island as if he was just making idle conversation, having let go of the idea of getting her to talk about her mood. "And hey, who doesn't love picnic!" He made a goofy grin.
"You'd be good to her wouldn't you?" Jane finally turned to look at her brother, the instant she did it was obvious that whatever time had come and gone since she had left the park and gotten home, most of it the brunette had spent in tears. "Maura, if she was yours, you would be good to her, treat her right?"
"Hell yeah, if that woman gave me a second look I'd do everything I could to keep her happy, keep her looking at me and not the thousand other guys she could have." Frankie nodded over and over. "I mean I'd try to remember that if she did want me, it wasn't cause I was one of her Doctor, Professor, Political... it was cause she wanted what I had, 'cause hopefully I made her feel special, and loved and took care of her in a way that she can't take care of herself... oh and made her feel sexy." He grinned softly.
"What if you had no idea what that was, what she saw in you, what it was you did that made her feel that way and you had no idea if or how it happened or if you could keep doing it." Jane frowned harder. "Because it wasn't something you tried to do, it just... happened."
"Janie, what's going on?" Frankie slipped onto the stool and looked at her with a soft brotherly concern. "You're upset, you've been crying..." He pointed out softly hoping it wouldn't make her retreat immediately.
"You can't tell anyone, not Ma, not Frost, no one." Jane looked at him frowning harder.
"Come on, I'm a vault, I'm your brother." The dark haired man gave her a look. "I promise I won't tell anyone, especially not Ma, not Frost, not anyone, this is you and me and the reason there was a hole in Mrs. Peterson's garage." He put his fingers up in a boy scout salute.
"It was me." Jane pushed her hips against the worktop behind her with a hard sigh, pushing her hand up into dark wind blown locks. "There was no dry run, no trial pass..." She pulled out the small circle of gingham cloth and held it out to her younger brother. "It's me." Her chocolate eyes filled again with tears.
Frankie inside did a little 'woot woot' for Maura actually getting the courage to finally say something but he kept his reaction cautionary as he took the swatch and turned it over reading the short written words letting his mouth go into an 'o' shape.
"It's you? You make her heart flutter." He gave a nod and then slipped the piece of cloth onto the island turned around so the words were purposefully facing Jane. "You sly f-ing devil!" He leaned back and grinned at her.
"Frankie why are you grinning?" Jane snapped at him a hard frown creasing her brow instantly.
"Because Jane come on, this is Maura... what exactly about Maura..." He stressed her name each time he said it. "Telling you she's got a thing for you is a problem?"
"It's Maura." Jane pulled in a breath and dropped her head. "My best friend." She pushed her hand through her hair again. "Frankie I suck at relationships, I get on better with Casey when he's in a war zone than I do when he's in bed next to me, I could ruin everything that's good in my life with this." Jane grabbed the small piece of material. "I can't lose her." She looked at Frankie, tears spilling again over onto her cheeks. "I lived with that when I shot Paddy Doyle, I can't do that again."
"Jane... Janie... come on, you're not going to lose her." He slipped around the cabinet and pulled her into a hug, rocking her side to side a little as he hugged her. "I know it was rough during that time but come on you two made it through that, you can make it through anything." He reminded her internally feeling far more like this might work out since his sister's first panic wasn't about the fact that Maura was a woman. He held her for a longer moment in silence before he dropped his voice lower. "Do you love her Jane? And I don't mean in the friendly way, I mean in way that makes your heart flutter." He used Maura's term.
"I don't know." Jane was honest actually seeming to take some comfort from her brother's touch, which in itself was unusual. "Take this how you want okay..." She pulled back and looked at him. "I let her touch me." She took a breath. "I like when she touches me."
"I know you do." He gave her a soft one sided smile. "Jane..." He softened his voice again. "I've been watching you two for how many years now. You have this..." He made a motion with his hand. "Thing between the two of you. Sometimes it's a look, sometimes the way you finish each other sentences, definitely the way you will risk anything to keep her safe, or make her happy... and even when you fight, like the whole thing with Paddy Doyle, you two were brutal with each other because you could be, because the connection between you was strong enough to take it." He took a breath. "Maybe the 'thing' is that you two are meant for each other?"
"I... Frankie, I'm awkward with men, and I've been sleeping with them since I was 18." Jane flared her nostrils a little and looked at him pleading with him silently to understand where she was heading with this. "Maura needs someone with talent... who can... you know... satisfy her."
"Okay so you're awkward... but tell me honestly have you ever had a night where everything you were feeling, the emotions, the love, the connection was so overwhelmingly good you didn't feel awkward?" He questioned trying to find the right way to ask this without having to go into details about his sister's activities in the bedroom.
"A couple." Jane shrugged and then breathed out, but before the full breath had left her lungs her eyes went wide, her eyes having fallen on her leather jacket hung on the hooks on the back of the door. "Shit shit shit..." She cursed, pushing past her brother almost roughly in her hurry to get to the coat, pushing her hand into the pocket. "I promised I'd text Maura when I got home and I told her I was getting a cab and coming straight here that was..." She glanced at the clock. "Seven hours ago."
"If I know Maura..." Frankie stayed put and let her move. "And you what, bailed on her and left her in the park after she gave you that note... she knew you were going to be a few hours before you went home." He pointed out to her even as her fingers flew over the keys. "And come on Jane, you're not 18 and you're not stupid, sure you've never been with a woman, but that doesn't mean you won't know how to satisfy her... and hey come on, it'll be fun figuring it out right?" He pointed out to her with a grin. "You telling me you've never even had a dream about making out with her?"
"I'm not answering that." Jane cursed again as she obviously fumbled the message she was typing and suddenly the tall detective was stalking away from Frankie, the phone held against her ear now.
"Come on, you need to talk about this." He urged her picking up his beer again and moving to settle back onto the stool.
"Hello Jane." Maura's soft voice came onto the line after the second ring, there was a soft exhaustion to it that the Detective could probably hear immediately.
"Can I come over?" The words had left the brunette's mouth almost before she could stop them.
"Of course you can." Maura's answer was direct and simple. "I was just trying to get Bass to eat something, did you want me to order something for dinner?" She offered glancing at the time and seeing how late it had managed to get, guiltily she looked at the tortoise curled in a pile of clothes at her feet having given up his attempt to climb over them, she was sorting to try and keep herself occupied.
"We can to that when I get there, together." She pointed out and then quickly shut off the phone and looked at Frankie. "You're right, I need to talk about this, but I'm talking to the wrong person." She gave him a quick smile and pushed her arm into the sleeve of her jacket and moved to pull open the door. "Watch Jo for me."
"Yeah you got it." Frankie smiled at her. "Hey Jane..." He called and waited until she paused at the door. "For the record, I think she's got good taste." He winked at his sister.
"Wish me luck." Jane paused in the doorway.
"You don't need luck, you got this." Frankie assured her. "Though... I'm calling dibs on best man now, Tommy is an usher." He teased.
"You think I trust you with a ring, I know how that hole got in Mrs. P's garage." Jane grinned wide at him and winked back.
-x-
The minutes it had taken between Jane's call and waiting for the door to her place to open and the wild dark haired detective to walk in had been literally excruciating for Maura. The first thing she'd done was change, three times in quick succession, trying to find an outfit she felt was appropriate for the situation. The first a dark dress had seemed to morose, too moody, as if she'd already started a mourning procedure assuming Jane was going to rebuff her and she knew that the choice might set a tone if Jane was still uncertain that Maura honestly didn't want.
The second had seemed right until she looked in the mirror and realized it was far too... well... sexy. It showed far too much cleavage and clung to every one of her curves in a deep red suggestive way. It wasn't exactly the look she wanted either, too assuming somehow in the idea that either she expected Jane to arrive and proclaim her agreement to Maura's admittance or in a more deceptive way thought she could 'wow' the detective to her way of thinking.
No, in the end she'd needed something that said neither of those things, she needed to be wearing something that just said here I am, Maura Isles. The same woman you've always known, the friend you will never lose and the heart you could have with just a word if you want me. For this reason she'd done the almost unthinkable, as a woman who rarely wore the same thing more than a few times in an effort to explore all the possibilities the world of fashion had to offer her, she slipped back into the jeans she'd been wearing that morning and was about to slip back into the blouse but noticed that it had gotten unbelievably wrinkled when Bass had decided to slumber on it. As a quick alternate she pulled a Armani wide strapped tank top that was made of silk, its colouring a little like an abstract painting in a palette of multiple complimenting colours.
'This is perfect.' She'd confirmed looking in the mirror to fluff her hair and double check that her eyes weren't as puffy or swollen as they had been earlier.
That had been when the real nerves had set in, without fashion to focus on she'd wound up in the kitchen, deciding that maybe it was best to pre-empt Jane's usual request and start making coffee. Settling her mind to the task had taken up a few moments as she ground beans, checked the smell of the blend she had created especially for that moment on a whim and then began to set the cafetiere to allow them to long soak in the hot water she prepared. Even taking the time to take mugs out of the cupboard and wash them out in the sink, trying to do anything to make her mind reach something that resembled calm as she felt her stomach tightening into hard knots in her abdomen.
She almost hated herself for being so logical now, for having decided it was this moment, the one when Jane walked in the door and talked to her that would dictate the brunette's response to their picnic. Jane had now had hours to think, hours to contemplate and formulate her response and while watching her walk away in the park had been hard, Maura knew these moments were going to be the hardest.
The moment almost got worse when unusually there was an almost timid knock on her door, not just the almost brusque and confident entrance that was Jane's trademark arrival.
Maura made herself take a breath and then walked over to the door, pulling it open and letting a soft smile cross her face.
"Hi Jane, you know you don't have to knock." Maura stepped back and headed towards the island. "I just made coffee, let me pour you some."
"Thank you." Jane offered a smile but Maura had already turned away and walked off into the house missing the fact that the brunette had pulled a rather ragged bouquet of chrysanthemums from her side. Walking in Jane cleared her throat slightly "Maur.." She said trying to get the other woman's attention.
"Yes?" Maura looked up from the island and felt herself stall as she saw the bright orange bouquet in Jane's hand. "Oh Jane, they're beautiful." She smiled softly and moved back around the island, feeling a warmth spread over her body as she tried to control her reaction. At least they meant that Jane wanted this discussion to go well.
"Actually they're pretty beat up and at least one of them has no flower on the end, like it was eaten off by a stray goat..." Jane pointed to the headless stem with a crooked smile. "But it's all they had at the Seven Eleven."
"They are beautiful." Maura repeated softly. "That you stopped to get them is beautiful." She expanded stopping when she was only two steps in front of her holding her hand out for the flowers. "They would probably benefit from a vase of water and a little arranging."
"And a few dozen friends from a florist." Jane handed them over with a smile knowing the offering was more than a little sub par for the ME. "I needed to apologize, I made you wait hours for a text that should have come in less than one, and that was unnecessary, especially considering the circumstances." She kept her smile as she focused on hazel eyes. "We need to talk." She added, keeping her voice soft and caring.
"We do but it's okay Jane, I didn't have a time frame, I just wanted to know that you were safe." Maura acknowledged softly as she moved to get a vase from a low cupboard.
"I'm safe." Jane moved to lean against a kitchen cabinet smiling softly at the blonde as she carefully got the vase that was without a doubt worth fifteen times the amount that the flowers were and began to prep the bedraggled mums on the side. Wiping her hands on her dark jeans Jane pushed her shoulders back and eased off the support of the work surface behind her and focused on the ME's back trying to clear her fast moving mind as she moved slowly across the kitchen towards her. "Are you?" Jane said when she was right behind the blonde, while at the same time she reached out a trembling hand and put it low on Maura's side, keeping a space between their bodies, but deliberately making the hand hold nothing like anything she had deliberately laid on her before.
To say that Maura didn't immediately notice the touch, the unprecedented hold was completely false. Immediately she had realized that the silk tank she'd chosen to wear allowed the usual warmth of the brunette's hands to seep through it onto her skin in only an instant. Her body subtly leaned into the hold without conscious instruction, unable to resist the opportunity to feel Jane so close to her.
"I'm safe." She whispered out the response putting her hands on the island and for a moment not fussing with the flowers.
"That's all that matters to me." Taking another steadying breath Jane moved her other hand and put it on Maura's other side. "You." She clarified, her large hands reaching far around the blonde's body even though her palm rested soundly on the blonde's hips.
"I hope its obvious that you are what matters to me." Maura let her right hand slip off the island and brought it the short distance to rest softly over Jane's fingers, stroking her thumb over the long digits trying to focus on keeping her breathing even, despite the fact it was naturally speeding up.
"I can't say I know what I'm doing, or what it means..." Jane kept her voice low, the usually thick flowing timbre a little shaky. "But what I do know is that you're the most important relationship I have in my life and I can't label what it is I feel for you." She stepped a little closer slipping her hands further around Maura. "But I trust you more than anyone, I love you more than anyone, and this..." She spread her large hands out to cover as much of the blonde's body as she could. "Scares me but doesn't..." She stopped again. "You touch me." She changed tacks. "And I like it Maura. I like it."
"I love you Jane." Maura needed only the spread of Jane's arms fully around her body to take the slight step back now so that she could feel the full length of the brunette behind her, the strength in her body that she trusted more than herself. "I trust you... and I like to be close to you." She made the soft admittance actually closing her eyes.
"How do you know? How do you know how you feel? How are you sure?" Unknowingly the brunette pulling Maura closer as she felt the blonde relax against her body.
"I haven't always been sure." Maura admitted leaning in tighter as well. "But a lot of little things, being honest with myself about my feelings for you, helped me understand the depth of what I was feeling and the times when I've almost lost you..." Her voice tightened slightly. "Staring into that abyss, having it stare back into me... I couldn't deny it to myself anymore." She closed her arms around Jane's where they were around her body.
Jane just let them rest there for a long moment in oddly comfortable silence, contemplating just how comfortable it did feel, how almost empowered she felt just holding Maura, it made her feel strong, protective and more than that it felt... right.
"I'm sorry I ran away." Jane apologized softly.
"You didn't run away, you needed a chance to think, to react..." Maura shook her head gently against Jane. "I don't need you to apologize to me for that. I knew when I took your advice to be spontaneous that you were going to need the opportunity to honestly react as you needed too." She also settled into the comfort of the embrace, feeling a part of her soothed by the closeness, excited by the touch. "Jane..." She felt her voice drop to a whisper. "I didn't tell you expecting everything to change in an instant, if..." She took a soft breath as she spoke. "If you wanted to explore what we could become beyond friends, then it deserves to be taken step by step, building upon what we already are to evolve into what we might be, at a pace that we set together."
"Is this too much?" Jane tensed slightly.
"No, no Jane this isn't too much, this is... wonderful." Maura pulled Jane's arms around her a little tighter. "Because it confirms to me that you're not mad at me, or upset with me, or feeling the need to separate from me because of my admittance." She looked back over her shoulder briefly catching a glimpse of Jane's face as much as she could. "Being close to you... makes me feel safe... cherished... loved. Being in your arms now that you know..." She felt a smile pull at her features wishing somehow Jane could see it without having to move. "It feels like I'm dreaming."
"I do love you." Jane admitted easily. "I just don't want to lose you because I do something stupid."
Slowly Maura turned her body in the embrace, shifting her arms so she could bring her hands up to rest on Jane's shoulder needing to see dark eyes. Hearing the thread of self doubt that was in Jane's words, the focus of her concern being that she was going to somehow ruin them made her heart break for the woman she loved so much.
"Jane..." She said the detective's name softly as she held her eyes with her own hazel ones. "You're not going to lose me, ever." She underlined. "Just as you reassured me in the park, my admittance wouldn't mean that I'd lose you, even you rejecting me wouldn't mean that you'd lose me." She breathed out honestly. "This may come as a surprise to hear..." Her mouth actually curled into a soft smirk. "But you do stupid things all the time; you hide instant coffee in my house, you put your feet on the coffee table, you make fun of my refusal to guess at work, you refuse to eat healthy and think hiding that half eaten doughnut in your drawer when I come upstairs despite the coloured sprinkles all over your desk means I won't notice." She smiled more. "Most of them become reasons that I could also list as to why I love you." She revealed. "Except the bad eating habits, and that is only because I want you to be as healthy as you can be so that we can grow old together."
A smirk pulled at Jane's lips as she held on to Maura just a little tighter and leaned forward resting her chin on the blonde's shoulder.
"So what do you want to get to eat, I bet there is a tonne of acid rolling around in there..." She lightly smoothed her hand against silk. "It needs something to work on."
"You know me." Maura let her arms slip up over Jane's shoulder and then closed them around her neck as the brunette molded into the hug with her. "How about Thai? I think my stomach would appreciate some noodles, the carbohydrates and vegetables will help compensate for the acid."
"Want me to go pick it up, or shall we call for take out?" Jane took a more relaxed breath. "What happened to the blouse by the way, I can't remember if I told you how great you looked this morning."
"No you didn't." She admitted feeling a swell of excitement at the fact Jane had noticed. "Bass didn't appreciate it as much as you did apparently." She knew it wasn't a lie and didn't feel the prickly rush of hives. "Why don't we call for it to be delivered? I think there is a hockey game on for one of the teams you like if you wanted to watch that."
"Sure we could watch the game." Jane nodded and then pulled in another breath. "Or if you like, after we've eaten we could go back to the park, it's beautiful in the evening too." She offered. "We could take in a little of 'The Loop'."
"That sounds even nicer." Maura agreed easily, sure that Jane knew already she'd prefer that to watching angry men chase a small plastic puck on the ice. "I will need to put on a sweater." She smiled at the tank top.
"Want to go there first? There are some nice places we can eat around the park." Jane tipped her head a little with a smirk. "There's still time for me to get you an ice cream or something from a vendor."
"Yeah, why don't we do that? You can have dessert first." Maura gave a soft laugh. "Let me go get something warmer on, and then we can go." She agreed easily, almost unable to believe the day was somehow going to end up back where it had started.
Jane loosened her arms and stepped back to free the blonde.
"Great." She nodded firming up the idea in her own head at the same time. "Though Maur..." She spoke directly to the blonde, making the ME turn and look at her. "Don't change the jeans." She smiled brighter.
"Okay." Maura couldn't stop her beaming grin and the spring in her step at the most specific compliment.
-x-
