A/N: Kay well Chapter 3 of Not So Normal..is about Vickie getting tierd of being the bad one in her relationship with Adam...Soo she sends Kelly and Maria to spy on Adam. Little does she know Adam has the same idea using Jeff and John and Chris. So? How does that add up to Kelly and Matt operating on Jeff, Chris holding a plant upright for 3 days and Cena gettin a camera up his ass? Well...........
Its Rarely a positive thing when a general manager wants you in her office. Especially when you have Raw in 20 minutes.
"Maria....should I be concerned?" Kelly asked as she ran her fingers through her hair. She and Maria were having a tag match...which was kicking off raw
"Kells calm down...Since we Jacked Chris we havent done anything wrong" Maria said
Kelly knocked on Vickie Guerrero's office door
"Come in!" Vickie screamed in her starchy, scratchy voice.
Kelly and Maria both went into her office and sat down on the leather seats
"Good evening ladies...Thanks for coming in" Vickie said flashing a toothy smile.
"Umm no offence but we've gotta match..so is there something wrong?" Maria asked
"Nothing's wrong...I actually wanted to ask you two a favour" Vickie said
"And that would be...." Kelly asked
"Okay well I'm sure that You've heard about Me and Adam's relationship problems...Well im getting rather sick of feeling like the bad guy in this relationship...Sooo I was well wondering if you two would well...spy on Adam for me..." Vickie said
Kelly and Maria looked at eachother..
"Well...Umm Vickie...I..Uhhh" Kelly studdered
"PLEASE!!" Vickie was almost on her knees with desperation
"FINE!!! Kay Fine..we'll help you" Maria said sighing
"Really? Thanks....There is no way in hell Adam will have the same idea"
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXOOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
"So Jeff...Umm any 6's?"
"NO CENA! For the 33th time NO!"
"Fine...Ill fish...Hmphhh"
"What are you two halfwits doing?" Jericho asked
"What did you call us?" John asked more confused then over
Out of no where Jeff whipped out a pair of black rimmed glasses and a huge oxfords dictionary
" A Halfwit" Jeff started flipping through the pages saying it with a horrible high pitch voice
He cleared his throat and pushed his glasses back up " One deficent in judgement and good sense"
John gazed around confused "But where did you have the dictionary"
Jeff shot John a smirk "Well, Thats a tale for another time....."
Just then Adam burst into the locker room looking really panicked "I need your help"
Chris scoffed "Don't you all?"
"Shut it Jericho" Adam caught his breath and continued "Things between me and Vickie are going down a bad path"
"Clearly" John said quietly so Adam wouldn't hear him.
"You think you guys could help me?" Adam smiled pleedingly.
"And what the hell have you ever done to make me wanna help you?"Jeff asked
"Just listen to my plan" Adam said.
"Fine. But I make no promises" Chris said
"Ok, So as you've seen Vickie hasn't been as faithful to me as I had hoped" Adam started
"You got that one right" Jeff snorted
"Anyway, I was wondering if my 3 besties would help me, Well I don't know help me maybe spy on her" Adam's face turned into a cheesy grin,
"First off, We are not besties" John said "And second why would we spend precious time spying on Vickie?"
"Come on! PLEASE!"
"What's in it for us?" Jeff asked
"Since Vickie has power over both brands, Im sure I could get each of you some kind of perk"
"Like my own toilet?"
Chris and Jeff looked at John "Why the Hell would you want that?"
"Cause" John started "Sometimes when you reall gotta go, You Really Gotta go, Chris you know that I mean."
Chris's eyes flashed "I certainly do not!"
Jeff laughed "Uh Huh"
"So?"
"Uh..." Chris studdered
"PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!"
"Goddamit FINE!" Chris rolled his eyes
"You think we should tell the guys?" Maria asked as she drank some water after her tag match with Kelly
"I guess, I mean it's not like they're in constant contact with Adam"
"So we're gonna tell them"
"Tell who What?" John, Jeff and Chris walked into the catering area, John as usual. Eating,
"Nothing" Maria smiled, Her face spelling Guilty
"Ria Ria?" Jeff gave her his patented puppy dog look
"Oh Lord Just tell them" Kelly rolled her eyes
"Fine, We're helping..Vickie, She wants us to spy on Adam." Maria sighed
"No Fuckin' Way" John said as he shoved more fries in his mouth "We're spying on Icky Vickie"
"Great! Now we can work out a whole plan of action!" Chris grinned
"Plan of action?" Jeff snorted "The Hell Chris! What is the Charlie's Angels?"
"Fine, you come up with something" Chris rolled his eyes
"I Will!" Jeff crossed his arms in determination and whispered to Kelly "So what now?"
Kelly laughed "I think, We'll get more done if we work together"
"But, We can't tell anyone about this little hookup here" Maria pointed out
"Okay, But seriously now what?" John asked
"Now? Now we bring in the big guns!" Kelly smirked
"Well, Well, Well. Look who needs the help of H & S spy enterprises?"
Jeff rolled his eyes "Hunter, We just need to find a way to go unnoticed"
"Not 'till you admit you need out help!" Hunter said
"And buy me an ant farm!"
Kelly looked over "Shawn. Why the hell do you need an ant farm?"
" 'Cause. I like ants and I've always wanted a farm, So this was I get the best of both worlds!"
John crossed his arms "Fine. Hunter and Shawn we need your help"
"Okay, Now say it like you mean it"
John threw daggers at Hunter with his eyes and opened his mouth to begin
"On your knees please!."
Kelly put a hand over her mouth to stifle laughter
John groaned and kneeled down "Oh Lord Hunter and" He paused "Goddess Shawn." Shawn grunted
"We have to come to you in our time of need and thrive to be as great spies as you are, Oh please help us oh Saviors please"
Hunter grinned "Thank you, Now we can work at a plan of action!"
Chris turned to Jeff with a mile wide grin "SEE!"
Jeff rolled his eyes
"So, This is what I'm thinking, Instead of a whole bunch of useless spy equiptment we get a few walkie talkies and some tiny cameras"
Maria frowned "That's all?"
"Yep! And these cameras will be completely unknown to all others," Hunter chuckled
"How?" John asked
"We'll put them in conspicuous parts of each of you, and then you can go on as if nothing is going on" Shawn added
"Okay, But how will we make the camera's so invisible?" Kelly asked
"Because we'll put the camera's in the parts of you that, well you know best" Hunter said
"Like..." Jeff said
"Like for instance, John we can put a camera in your best feature" Shawn said then frowned "Now im stuck"
John glared at Shawn "For your information I think I have very nice eyes"
"Yes Captain No Brains we're putting a camera in your eyes"
"Well than what do you suggest?" John asked
"I dunno:"
"EYES DAMMIT!"
"Cena we can't put a camera in your eyes"
"Yeah we can, I mean where else can it go?"
"Your ass is your best feature John" Kelly said shyly
John turned around trying to get the perfect view of it "You think?"
"Yep! John that's a thing of beauty right Jeff?" Kelly nudged him gently
"Excuse me? I'm not answering that" Kelly kicked him in the shin "FINE ITS GREAT!"
"How will we get a camera up there" Shawn began to ponder
"I'm not helping with that procedure" Chris joked
"Anyway Irvine, What about you? Where are we gonna put a camera" Maria asked
"Just let me say that you guys are not putting a camera on any part of my beautiful anatomy" Chris said firmly
"Fine Chris! Then what are we gonna do? Huh? Put a camera in a plant and make you carry it around for this whole thing?!" Jeff asked irritated
"That's not a bad idea" Hunter said
Chris scoffed "As long as it's a expensive flower I don't care"
"What about us?" Kelly asked
"That's simple"
Maria looked at John "What do you mean?"
"We put a camera in your bra"
Maria gasped "What?!"
"I'm fine with it" Kelly said
Maria glared at her best friend "You Are?"
"Why Not? I put snacks in there for John all the time" Kelly smiled and kissed John on the cheek
"You must really love him Kel" Jeff said quietly
"And you Jeff" Hunter smiled suspiciously "We're putting a camera in your head
Jeff's eyes widened "Huh?"
"Don't you date touch my baby" Maria said protectively
"Calm down Maria, It's minor surgery" Shawn said
"SURGERY?" Jeff's voice turned into a shout
"Take one for the team Hardy" John said
"No, No I won't allow it! None of you are operating on me! I'm serious guys. NO!"
"Scalpel'
"Got it" Kelly whispered.
"Alright now give me the camera" Matt said softly into the dark bedroom
"Here you go, Matthew you better know what you're doing"
"I do! Who do you think fixed Jeff's first skinned Knee?" Matt whispered sharply as Jeff began to stir
"Crap!" Kelly grabbed Matt's arm
"Relax Jeff slept through a burglar breaking into his house" He said
Maria's eyes began to flutter "Wha-What are you doing?!" She asked as she shot up in the bed
"SHH MARIA!" Kelly covered her friend's mouth
"Jeff!" She said muffled
"He's fine! We just opened some of his skin and put in the camera!"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes now Shh!"
"Done!" Matt whispered proudly "Jeff is now a human camera!"
"I think he should know" Maria said
"He will, In the morning"
"You tell Jeff about our little operation last night?" Kelly asked
"Yeah. He was a bit freaked out but once he realized when he shook his head he could feel it jiggle he got over it" Maria said smiling
"OUCH! EASY THERE BUDDY!"
Maria and Kelly looked at each other "That came from the locker room" Kelly said
They quickly walked towards the locker room, Both jaws dropping once they saw the activity being done
"BE CAREFUL!"
"Johnathan?" Kelly asked clearly afraid
The sight? Jeff, Chris, Hunter and Shawn all bent down looking up the hole of glory, a.k.a John's ass.
"We're getting the camera inserted" Jeff said
"I can see that" Maria said blinking a few times to make sure she was seeing correctly
"Almost there" Shawn said
"I think im gonna gag" Kelly said clearing her throat
"HURRY UP MICHAELS!"
"And that baby is locked and loaded" Shawn cried happily
"Great, Now speaking of locked and loaded clear the way!" John said and ran towards the washroom
"I hope that thing is in good" Chris said quietly
"It better be, That burger is looking for an exit sign" Jeff muttered
"There you go Jericho, All you gotta do is hold it upright" Kelly said placing the daisy in his hands
Chris grinned "Now, this is easy"
John and Jeff both threw glares at Chris. John, Sitting on a padded toilet seat
"So here's how it's gonna go" Hunter said " Shawn and I will be here monitoring each camera. Plus we got a microchip in both Vickie and Adam. If either of them get close to either or you we'll tell you"
"A microchip? How did you do that?" Jeff asked
"Well, Adam likes beer so we slipped one in there and we all know damn well Vickie will eat anything" Shawn smirked
"Now, Go off and find your targets!" Hunter said as the room cleared out.
"Guys" John said as everyone left "I can't get up!"
A/N: Woo what was fun to write! I didn't realize how long it was going to be so i'm splitting it into parts, Part 2 will be up tommorow or Monday.
Part 2: The spying begins.
