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Chapter 2: Slipping Away
She is giddy once she leaves the Council room – the smile never leaving her face, all the way through the twisting halls to her own chambers.
But Kida, doesn't even try to fight the feeling, the happiness and excitement bubbling within her, because she will be going above ground. There will be sun and moon, people and busy streets, air filled with strange smells both pleasant and fowl. She can go to museums, libraries, plays - or simply to parks and fields. (The thought of wide open spaces sends a thrill through her.) She craves difference most of all, her eyes long to see other views than the beautifully carved stone that surrounds her every day.
She starts to hum as she packs - careful in what she brings, wanting to blend in. But it is not easy for Kida to walk amongst people and not stand out (she remembers that from the last trip, she even stands out starkly down here). Her dark skin, bright blue eyes, and white hair come to her from her Mother's side, are all trademarks of the long line of Atlantean Queens and she is proud to be a part of that heritage. But if she wishes to move about with any sort of anonymity, even to those with no knowledge of her kind, she must carefully wrap her hair in a scarf or cover it with a hat of some kind.
There is a familiar knock on her door that makes her drop a lovely deep purple cotton wrap that she was folding. She calls a greeting, turning to smile at her Father when he enters. That smile almost falters though when she takes him in – because, well, her father is aging. It is something she has noticed lately in that startling way that hits hard and makes her wonder why the daily decline never really register.
She knows what this means – what this clearly telegraphs to all around them – what her Father must know. Her Consort is near, her chosen mate. Truly, it is probably the cause of her intense restlessness lately, her need to get to the outside.
But when they have bonded…(she does not even wish to finish the thought within her own mind, winces away from the knowledge, has been avoiding it for so long)…her father will die.
Give and take - it is her existence.
Kida has a moment of wanting to grab her father and run, run far far away. Perhaps just hide out for a few decades (normal humans don't live an awful long time, right?). But she is more than just a little girl now, she is a Queen, a leader and people depend on her. She does not have the luxury to run and hide, even if it could stave off the inevitable coming change for a while. And anyway, it is a greedy wish, not what her Father would want – he has candidly told her over the years that he welcomes the day he will join her Mother again.
Give and take, the old mantra seems to breathe through her, making her shake, making her feel both strong and weak.
And her Father has walked towards her, his hand lays gently on her shoulder - so much more frail than she remembers – and he smiles at her. When he speaks though, his voice is as strong as ever and that, at least, is a comfort to her.
"You reminded me of your Mother standing there today. I'm proud of you, Kida," he says. It snaps her back to the present.
"I was not to harsh with the Council than?" she frowns worriedly. "I do not wish to be seen as a dictator."
But he laughs at this. "Not at all, my daughter. They need to see that you are capable of making decisions - even it they don't agree with them. You are not a child and shouldn't be treated as such. You are not only a Queen but your own woman now," his smile turns bittersweet.
"I love you, Father," Kida blurts awkwardly and the hug she pulls him in lacks just as much grace but she feels rushed. Can almost see their time together slipping away, it makes her close her eyes and hold him tighter – bite her lip, so as not to cry, when she feels him stroke her hair.
Because this is her Father and how can anybody else she is "given" ever equate to a loss of him. (She would throw away her Power, her leadership, in an instant for her Mother's life – that was not an equal trade, not by far).
But Kida also cannot be entirely cynical about the thought of her chosen (cannot stop the little fissure of excitement deep down even) because she remembers seeing how in love her parents were, how strong their bond was. Knows her Mother went through this very same loss to receive her mate, her family - that all Queens did. That it is the trade of to be as they are, to be able to wield the Power to keep peace among their people, for the ability to bear an heir to do the same.
Give and take.
It will perhaps not be an equal thing than, she thinks - never that. But she won't be left with nothing in the end. She will still have family – a new one perhaps. But change is always inevitable if their line is to continue.
Kida bites her lip harder and hugs her Father tighter.
