The Assassin

Chapter 3: Confusing Emotions

A/N: Sorry, this update took a little longer than expected but the new edition to our household has been demanding my attention quite a lot. I'VE GOT A NEW KITTEN! So thanks to all of my patient readers and all of the wonderful people who reviewed last chapter. Hope you all enjoy this new chapter.

Elliot nearly dropped his son. He stared accusingly at Cragen. Dani left the cabin to help the rest of the team unload their equipment and supplies. As soon as she was outside, Elliot spoke "You couldn't have given me some warning?" he asked.

"I told you and Olivia back at the apartment who would be in charge of the detail," Cragen defended.

Elliot's gaze shifted to Olivia. She had known and she hadn't said a word about it. He realized that he had lost focus far too much in the last few hours. He couldn't afford to feel grief now, if he did, it could cost Olivia or Eli their lives.

"Let's get started," Dani said to her team as they entered the cabin again, laden down with bags. Her team consisted of three men and one other woman besides herself. They dropped their bags by the door and took seats on the couches. Dani sat down and stared at Olivia, Samson was once again wrapped around her "What is that doing here?" she asked, seemingly, pointing at the dog. She had only met Olivia Benson once but from the constant way that Elliot talked about her with such affection during their short stint as partners, she had decided she wasn't fond of the woman.

Olivia glared daggers at Dani and offered her the shortest explanation "He's my pet," she tried to keep the disdain out of her voice.

Dani leaned forward and whispered something for Olivia's ears only "Who said I was talking about the dog?"

Olivia suppressed the urge to punch her and forced the sweetest smile she possibly could. "Could you introduce us to your colleagues?" she asked politely.

Dani nodded and turned to the rest of her group "Detectives, Zack Schmitt, Henry Appleton, Greg Chambers and Carrie Rawlins," she pointed to each in turn.

Olivia stood and shook the hands of each in turn. She tried not to hold it against them that Dani was their commanding officer but that was easier said than done. Anyone who would follow Dani Beck's orders had to be one of the most spineless people there ever was. Still, she smiled politely "Nice to meet you," she said to each one of them.

Elliot made the same rounds, shaking hands and exchanging pleasant greetings. He had an odd feeling in the pit of his stomach. Dani was here. What did she know already? He was sure he could resist her this time; last time he had felt alone, abandoned and helpless, having so many people he cared about desert him. This time he had Olivia to comfort him.

"Let's get to work," Dani ordered as the group began unloading their equipment.

Elliot motioned to Olivia and she stood to join him near the door of the room he had staked out as his and Eli's. When she reached him he asked her something she hadn't been expecting to hear "Wanna share a room?"

She nodded and smiled a bit "Sure," she quickly ran to the other room where she had left her bag and brought it to the room where Elliot was attempting to lay Eli in his crib. The baby fidgeted and grabbed the rail of the crib, holding on tight while with the other hand, he held on to a handful of his father's shirt.

Elliot looked up and smiled when he when he saw Olivia toss her bag at the foot of the bed opposite his own and throw herself down on to the mattress, Samson, curling up next to her bag on the floor. He was glad that she had agreed for a number of reasons. First was that he didn't want there to be any confusion or mixed signals sent in Dani's direction. Second, he really didn't want to share a room with anyone else, for Eli's sake, he tried to tell himself. And third, he wanted to keep her as close as possible so that he could keep an eye on her. He doubted Dani's ability to protect either one of them.

There was a soft knock on the door about half an hour later. Elliot got up and opened it to reveal Dani, standing there with a bag over her shoulder. Elliot tried to force a smile but it didn't quite form on his lips. He shut his eyes for a moment; he had really hoped he would never have to speak to her again. Behind him, he could hear Olivia sitting up and Samson trotting forward to stand beside him.

He opened his eyes again, trying to think of something to say that wouldn't sound defensive or angry. "Hi… Dani," so far so good "What are you doing here?" a stupid question but a necessary one.

Dani was about to speak when she caught sight of Olivia over Elliot's shoulder. She looked down and saw the mangy dog, looking at her with obvious dislike. "I… I," she stuttered a bit "I came to tell you that we're almost done setting up," she explained lamely "We'll know if anyone even gets near here," she smiled slightly at Elliot "I'll be the room directly across from this one if you need me," she winked, ignoring Olivia's glare and gave Elliot a peck on the cheek "I'm sorry about your family," she whispered sweetly before departing.

Elliot subconsciously wiped his cheek with the back of his hand. He shut the door and turned around to see Olivia staring at him blankly. He returned the stare "What?" he asked finally.

"She just kissed you," Olivia said disbelievingly. His family had just been killed and this woman, whom he ha hadn't seen in two years, had the audacity to think that it was acceptable to kiss him. It seemed to Olivia to be a completely inappropriate time for Dani to try to rekindle a long forgotten relationship. Olivia found herself hoping that from Elliot's perspective, it was long forgotten.

"It was on the cheek," Elliot defended, not sure why he had to defend himself to Olivia on this. Perhaps he was trying to defend his inaction and inability to set Dani straight to himself.

Olivia crossed her arms across her chest and forced a chuckle, trying to find something amusing about the situation. As she continued to scrutinize Elliot and he began to look more and more uncomfortable, she found the humor and no longer needed to force her laughter.

"What's so funny," Elliot asked as Olivia collapsed onto her bed. He was glad that she didn't seem as angry as she had seemed only a few moments ago. He wasn't sure why she would be angry… perhaps, she was jealous? That thought made him smile a bit. The women in his life always seemed to be jealous of one another. He sank down on to his bed, remembering Kathy and his children and a wave of sadness swept over him.

Olivia stopped laughing and sat up. She stood up and moved to sit beside Elliot. "You just looked, so… uncomfortable," she admitted to him.

He nodded "Yeah," he said softly before falling silent. He was deep in thought and grief. The next thing he knew, Olivia was holding him in her arms, rubbing soothing circles on his back.

"It'll be okay," she assured him "Bushido won't be able to get near you or Eli. He'll die for what he did," she promised.

"I should have been there, Liv," he whispered in a choked and teary voice "I should have been with them. I should have been able to stop what happened."

"You can't start thinking like that," Olivia assured him in a quiet voice. "You don't know if you could have done anything. You weren't armed today. If you and Eli had been there, you might…" she trailed off unable to finish the thought without bursting into tears..

Elliot nodded. His gun had been in the house. Kathy had probably been trying to reach it. He looked at the crib where his youngest and only surviving child lay. If he hadn't been in the park with Eli that day, Eli would be dead and Elliot too probably. And if he hadn't called Olivia to come with them, there would have been no one to kill the hyena that sprang at them when he had opened the door.

He pulled back from Olivia and looked into her eyes. She hadn't expressed any concern for her own safety at all. He hoped she knew how much he cared about her, how worried he was about her. He thought back to their kiss in the park. That kiss had been innocent, pure, it had been the physical embodiment of love, pure love. Love, it was a feeling he wasn't yet ready to admit he had for her, the kind of passionate love that movies claimed existed but that he had never truly believed in himself.

He tipped her chin up and pressed his lips to hers, not saying anything. He hoped the gesture would say it for him. The kiss lasted several seconds with neither one of them making an effort to pull away. When they finally did separate it was because of another knock on the door.

The two looked at each other but there was not a trace of embarrassment in either of their expressions. The knock came again, sounding more urgent. Elliot cleared his throat and got up. Olivia got up and followed him.

Elliot opened the door to reveal Cragen, standing in front of them. Cragen's eyes shifted from Elliot to Olivia and back again. He had the overwhelming feeling he had interrupted something. He cleared his throat awkwardly "I just wanted to let you know that everything's set up so I'm heading back to the city."

"Let us know as soon as you have any leads on Bushido," Olivia insisted.

"I will," Cragen promised. He looked down to see Samson, standing in front of him, offering him a paw. Cragen shook it "Now Samson," he grinned at the dog "I want you to make sure these two don't get into too much trouble," he ruffled the fur on top of the dog's head "Okay?"

Samson barked as if to say 'Yes sir!' and Cragen laughed.

"I'll be in touch," he told his two detectives before he turned and left.

Elliot closed the door again. He turned and looked at Olivia. They were essentially alone again. "We should try to get some sleep," he said after a long pause.

Olivia nodded. The two took turns brushing their teeth and took turns changing into their night clothes. They returned to the room and got into their respective beds. The two of them lay there, awake and in silence for a long time.

"Are you awake?" Elliot finally whispered into the dzrkness.

"No," Olivia replied with a bit of a laugh. "What's up?" she asked, rolling onto her side, facing Elliot in the blackness of the room.

"I didn't think he'd ever be able to make good on it," Elliot whispered "It was just another empty threat, like all the others I've ever had perps scream at me. I wish I'd known that he would…"

"I know," Olivia said soothingly "I would have shot him myself right there if I thought he would be able to do anything."

"I almost shot him," Elliot admitted "For a moment, I was so tempted to. Then I thought that he deserved to spend the rest of his life in jail for what he had done. He wanted me to shoot him and I swore I wouldn't give him that satisfaction. I wish I had."

Olivia nodded, though she knew Elliot couldn't see her "Being shot is too good for that bastard," she said through gritted teeth. A brief image flashed through her mind of her, choking the life out of Bushido for what he had done to Elliot.

Silence reigned for a long time before Elliot decided to break it again. "You still awake?" he asked.

"Yeah," Olivia answered softly from across the room.

Elliot sighed quietly. He had no idea how to bring up the subject of Dani. He needed to talk to someone about her but he got the feeling that Olivia wouldn't appreciate being that someone. He took a deep breath "Nice cabin, huh?" he said lamely.

"Yeah," Olivia agreed softly. She saw right through Elliot's lame question "What is it?" she asked, pointedly.

Elliot was caught and he knew it. In a last ditch attempt to avoid the conversation he played dumb "Nothing, just go to sleep," he said dismissively.

"Alright," Olivia was starting to feel a bit sleepy and she was willing to accept Elliot's avoidance tactic. There would be plenty of time to call him on it in the morning. "Goodnight," she whispered as she rolled over onto her other side and pulled the blankets up close around her.

"Goodnight," Elliot returned as he to rolled onto his other side and lay awake for an hour or so more, thousands of worrisome thoughts running through his head.