i totally forgot to tell you all the songs for the first two chaps so i'll do this one and the others now

chap 1 is stand in the rain by superchick

chap 2 is 100 years by five for fighting

this chap is when we die by bowling for soup

this idea totally came out of the blue. thnx to theweirdworder and Fire Daughter for their reviews! guess its that time now, enjoy!


Well, I know that it's early
And it's too hard to think.
And the broken empty bottles
Are reminder in the sink.

Kel rode Peachblossom down Market Way, hands in her pockets. Jump padded in her wake, occasionally stopping to smell a niche or mark a post. A few sparrows followed too, flapping to window sills and playing in the air. Kel watched them, her heart hurting more then she cared to admit. She swallowed against the lump that formed in her throat and urged Peachblossom to a trot. He snorted but obeyed. There were few people out so early in the morning and those she passed silently moved out of the way. It was as if the whole world knew her grief. That was why she left the palace. It was too hard to think there.

But I thought that I should tell you
If it's not too late to say.
I can put back all the pieces
They just might not fit the same.

The guards at the gate murmured when they saw the famed Protector of the Small riding toward them, but they didn't make a move to stop her as she past them. She didn't hear the words of their whispers but she saw the pitying looks they gave her. It made her humiliation all the worse. Why did they tell me now? She thought to herself, locking the tears inside her. Why did they have to go?

Cause nothing's worth losing
Especially the chance to make it right.

Finally freed of the city, she leaned over onto Peachblossom's neck. Jump and the birds, sensing what she was about to do, sheered away to occupy themselves.

"Charge," she whispered. She felt Peachblossom's muscles bunch under her before he took off, an avalanche of a horse. As he ran down the road, Kel let the tears fall. No one could see them if she past them, going at the speed she was. Her thoughts burned her mind and her heart screamed at her as she thought about what had happened the night before. When the pain grew to be too much, she gave Peachblossom his head, to let him do what he wanted, and locked her heart in ice.

I'll be fine. She told herself forcefully as the wind whipped past her eyes. I'm gonna be okay.

And I know that we're gonna be fine.
And the tattooed mistakes
Are gonna fade over time.
As long as we live, time passes by.
And we won't get it back when we die.

The sense of time blurred for her as she prepared herself for her ordeal. She knew she could have been more productive, should have been, but her heart was still locked in ice. She didn't care anymore.

Well I know it's been years now
And I don't look the same.
And the hopes and dreams you had for me
You thought went down the drain.

Her room was slowly became a dead place to be. It felt like years since she had heard the news. That her parents had died in a bandit attack on Mindelan. She was to go home and help arrange the funeral. Despite her hopes and dreams for what could've happened with him, she had planned to act on her feelings, she needed to honor her parents more. So she thought to herself as she locked her door behind her.

And the room feels so empty
where my pictures used to be.
And I can't say that I blame you,
But you can't blame me.

Her room back in Mindelan was empty. It was barren since she hadn't used it since childhood. Kel knew she wouldn't be back at the palace for a long time, helping to reorganize her fief and take care of all the business that needed to be finished. She looked away from the walls as her heart squeezed. They were empty of her Yamani paintings and her weapons. It would never to hold them either.

Cause nothing's worth losing
Especially the chance to make it right.

And I know that we're gonna be fine.
And the tattooed mistakes
Are gonna fade over time.
As long as we live, time passes by.
And we won't get it back when we die

Despite her self reassurances, the day loomed. Daily she said it would be fine. That she would make up the lost time. That that day that was tattooed in her memory, that mistake of not saying anything, would fade. Even though she knew she was lying, she told herself it anyways.

Cause I gotta know,
If I am doing this all on my own.

Most of Kel's friends were at Mindelan already. They didn't say anything when they saw her after about a month since she had told them the news but she knew what they were thinking. She wasn't herself anymore. Listless and gloomy was never normal behavior for her. But they didn't know how to help her, how to comfort her. It was a week away from the funeral when Neal decided to try. He stopped her on the way to the dining hall.

"Kel, can I have a word?" He asked. She shrugged and opened the door to her room. Neal didn't comment on her new room decorations. She waited by the bed as he closed the door behind him.

"Kel," he began, unsure. "Are you doing alright?"

She shrugged again in response.

"I'm doing alright."

Neal looked uncomfortable.

"You don't look alright."

That was true. She had acquired bags under her eyes and she had lost a lot of weight. She didn't know how that happened, she had been eating just fine. She didn't say anything to Neal, neither conceding nor denying the fact. Her silence was enough of an answer for Neal.

"Kel," he started again, "it'll be fine.

He was surprised when Kel turned away from him. He thought he said something wrong when he realized her shoulders were shaking. Cautiously, he put an arm around her shoulders. In all his years with her, he had never seen Kel cry.

"Neal," her voice was muffled by her hands. "I have to know. Am I doing this all on my own?"

Neal didn't know how to answer so he hugged her and stayed with her until her sobs subded.

Come over.
Come over.

How can I show you if you're not here?

And I know that we're gonna be fine.
And the tattooed mistakes
Are gonna fade over time.
As long as we live, time passes by.
And we won't get it back when we die.

And I know that we're gonna be fine.
(and I know that we're gonna be fine)
And the tattooed mistakes
Are gonna fade over time.
As long as we live, time passes by.
And we won't get it back when we die.

Kel stood at the front of the crowd of people gathered to honor the deaths of Lord Piers and Lady Ilane of Mindelan. Her face was like stone as she watched her parent's bodies being lowered into the grave. Her hands were clasped before her, her feet spread apart in the stance of a soldier. Her friends stood with her. Neal and Owen each had an arm over her shoulder for comfort. She had eyes only for the grave that was slowly being filled. She didn't see him standing at the back of the crowd, watching her with a pained expression on his face.

Come over.
Come over.

Come over.
Come over.
Come over.
Come over.
(I gotta know)
And we won't get it back when we die

The congregation had gone inside and Kel's friends traded looks, unsure what to do. Should they stay with Kel or go inside and leave her?

"You guys go ahead," she said, her voice flat. "I'll be there soon."

They did as she bid, casting worried looks over their shoulders at her.

When she was finally alone, completely and truly alone, Kel collapsed onto her knees, sobbing on the grave. The grave stone was a stark reminder that she would never see her parents again. How could she be fine if she could never feel her mother's arms around her? Never feel her father's baritone voice teasing her? She sobbed for the past that she had lost, the support that had vanished. She had always counted on her parents no matter what. Who could serve that purpose now?

Arms wrapped around her and a voice gently murmured in her ear.

"Its alright, let it out." She did as he told her. After all, it was him. The one who knew her best. The one she was certain she loved.

"They're gone." She sobbed into his shoulder. "They're gone."

"I know, sweetheart, I know." Dom kissed her forehead. "But time will help."

Well, I know that it's early...


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