2

"Here we are," Dr. Setala said as he pulled his vehicle into a long driveway. They had driven twenty-five minutes outside of town and then turned down a dirt road. Kathryn had been wondering where exactly he was taking her. That morning, pending her release from the hospital, he had expressed his concerns.

"I'm worried about releasing you, Kathryn," said Setala, who had started calling her by her first name at her own insistence. "You have nowhere to go."

"There must be a hotel where I can stay. I'll find a job so I can pay my way until Tuvok recovers and we can contact our people."

"It's not that simple. You've been sheltered here in the hospital. Here, we're all trained to work with aliens. All of our employees undergo a special training program for interacting with other races. Not everyone on Laiffa is so accepting. Some think that we shouldn't allow other races on Laiffa at all. There's a faction that wants to end our trade routes and return to a policy of isolation."

"I've been subjected to prejudice before, Doctor."

"It's not just that. So far, these groups have engaged in peaceful protests, but there's growing concern that they may become violent. One of our neighboring worlds is considering preventing its citizens from traveling to Laiffa for pleasure and restricting their visits to necessary business only, because they fear for the safety of their people."

"And you think that I might become a target for these groups if you release me from the hospital?"

"Exactly. An alien woman, all alone, living in a hotel? You'd be a prime target if someone decided that they wanted to make an example of you. I'd be concerned for your safety."

"It would be temporary, just until I can contact my people, and then Tuvok and I can leave."

"What if you aren't able to contact them?"

Janeway pursed her lips. "I'm not ready to give up, Doctor, and I won't be for a long time yet."

"I understand, but I want you to consider the possibility. You may need a more permanent solution."

"I think I can modify one of Dr. Nellia's probes to send a message to one of our ships. I want to start working on it right away. I have every reason to believe that I'll be successful."

"I hope that you will be."

At that moment, Nurse Kopeki came into the room. "I brought you some of my old clothes, Kathryn. I think they'll fit you all right."

"Thank you, Vihalla. I'm sure they'll be fine." Janeway paused, hoping to find an ally in the young nurse. "I was just telling Dr. Setala that he can release me from the hospital. I can stay in a hotel and get a job so I can pay my own way. I don't want to rely on your charity any longer."

"To be honest, I don't know if you could get a job. Even here at the hospital. Dr. Setala and I would hire you, but I think there would be outrage if we hired an alien. We'd lose patrons, or even donors." She paused. "Unfortunately."

Dr. Setala gave Janeway a knowing look. "It's not just me being overprotective, Kathryn. This is a real issue."

Janeway sighed. "I'm beginning to see that. But I can't stay in a hospital forever. I'm no good to anyone here."

"Actually, Doctor," said Vihalla, "I had an idea about that." She stepped into the doorway and motioned to the doctor to join her. Janeway heard the two Laiffans exchanging whispered words, and saw Vihalla's face light up with excitement.

Finally, she heard Dr. Setala say, "That's a good idea, Vihalla." Then he turned back to Janeway. "I think we have a solution to where you can stay, at least temporarily."

That was how Setala had come to be driving her to his mother's house. Mrs. Setala lived alone. According to his description of her, she gardened, mowed her lawn and cleaned her own home. Despite her gung-ho nature, there were things she was getting too old to do. She needed someone to run errands for her and do some of the heavier, more physically strenuous tasks around the house. In exchange for helping out, Kathryn would be able to stay in Mrs. Setala's basement bedroom. This way, she could 'pay her own way,' as she had insisted, without causing the uprising that would inevitably result from her seeking a job at the hospital or another public place.

Dr. Setala parked his vehicle and opened Kathryn's door for her, helping her out of the car with an extended hand. "You know, Kathryn," he said, "now that you're out of the hospital, it seems silly for you to call me 'doctor.' Why don't you call me Erho?"

"I'd be happy to, Erho."

Taking her small bag from his trunk, he led her to the house. "Mom!" he called. The moment Kathryn stepped in the door, she was assaulted by delicious smells. Although Laiffan food was very different from the food she had grown up with, something about the smell immediately reminded her of her mother's farmhouse in Indiana. "Mom, we're here."

An elderly Laiffan woman emerged from the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron. "Hello, dear." She kissed her son on the cheek and then inspected her guest.

"Mother, this is Captain Kathryn Janeway."

"A captain?" The old woman smiled. "My husband was a captain in the Laiffan army, you know. That was back during the war."

"Mother!" Erho exclaimed in a less patient tone than Kathryn had ever heard him use. "Kathryn is not interested in hearing dad's military stories."

"Maybe another time, Mrs. Setala," Janeway assured her.

"Please, dear, call me Hoda. After all, you're going to be staying here for a while. You're practically part of the family."

"Mrs. Setala…"

"Hoda!" the older woman insisted, and Kathryn got the message loud and clear. Hoda Setala was not someone to argue with. "Now, Erho, set the table. I've got dinner all ready."

They ate together, and Kathryn enjoyed the home cooked Laiffan food as much as she enjoyed Hoda's stories about her husband's army captaincy.

After dinner, Hoda insisted that Erho give Kathryn a tour of the property. He showed her the boathouse and the garage, as well as all of his mother's gardens. "She'll probably insist that she doesn't need help," Erho confided in her, "but she gets tired. She's going to be one hundred years old in a few months. You might have to prod her a little, but make sure she lets you help her."

Kathryn laughed. "Oh, I'm familiar with that disease. My first officer on Voyager probably felt towards me just the way you do about your mother - frustrated!"

Erho smiled. "I guess the two of you are going to get along just fine."

"Thank you for arranging this. I am deeply grateful."

"It's my pleasure, Kathryn. I'm only glad I can help." He continued the tour of the property by showing her the Laiffan steam house, a small building near the main house, and explained that the steam house was the traditional Laiffan way of bathing, followed by a jump in the cool lake. Then he took her down to the lake, and showed her the beach and the dock.

"This place is beautiful," Kathryn said as they stood at the edge of the dock, looking out at the calm water. The opposite shore was covered with trees, and the horizon was lined with grey clouds.

"On a clear night, you get a great view of the sunset from here."

Kathryn inhaled deeply; the air smelled sweet and fresh. Chakotay would love this place, she thought. It was his kind of place, pure, natural, and filled with beauty.

"What are you thinking?" Erho asked, watching her face.

"I was just thinking… I have a friend who would love it here."

"Well, maybe your friend will get to see it someday."

She bit the inside of her lip. Unlikely, she thought.

Erho brought her back up to the house, where Hoda was anxious to feed them dessert. After enjoying his mother's homemade pie, the doctor left, and Hoda showed Kathryn to her room in the basement. "Tomorrow, you'll have to put the quilt out on the line," she said. "It gets damp down here." She pointed to the colorful covering on the bed. "I made that quilt for Erho's sister when she was a little girl. She can still recognize all the fabrics."

"It's beautiful," said Kathryn.

"Well, I'm going to bed now, dear. I'll see you in the morning."

"Thank you." With that, Hoda made her way up the stairs while Kathryn readied herself for bed. Vihalla had given her a bag of old clothes, including pajamas, a bathing suit, and some outfits she could wear from day to day. She put on some of the old pajamas and slipped under the quilt. She turned out the light and realized that it was silent. It was unnerving, after years on a starship, where there was a constant hum of activity. Even in her quarters, she had been able to hear the constant whir of Voyager's engines. The beeping of machines and the footsteps of doctors and nurses had been a constant undertone at the Laiffan hospital. Now, she could not hear a sound. It took her a long time to fall asleep that night.

...

Bracing her foot against the shovel, Kathryn forced the tool into the packed dirt. The shovel descended into the ground, and she worked it forward, then lifted it and overturned the earth. She took a step to her right and repeated the procedure. It had been two weeks since the attack that had destroyed the Explorer and stranded her and Tuvok on Laiffa, and one week since she had been released from the hospital and come to live with Hoda. The elderly woman reminded Kathryn of her own grandmother, and the property made her think of her grandparents' summer house on Lake George.

In the past week, she had made daily visits to the Center for Space Exploration to work on her modified probe. The resources were limited and the work was slow; Laiffan technology was a good two-hundred years behind the Federation. She was only permitted in the lab when Dr. Nellia was present. She had met a few of the other employees of the CSE, but Nellia wanted to keep her secluded. He had echoed Setala's concerns about the xenophobic attitudes of many Laiffans. Kathryn couldn't believe that scientists would want to limit contact with outsiders.

"Isn't that contradictory to the scientific process?" she had asked Nellia earlier that day.

He had nodded and agreed that it didn't make much sense, but assured her that some of his own colleagues felt strongly that Laiffa should keep to itself. "They're afraid that by opening up trade and allowing aliens to do business on our world, their own careers and positions will be jeopardized. The truth is, the only ones who feel that way are the ones who know they aren't really that good. They don't want real progress because they'll be left behind."

She made daily visits to Tuvok's bedside. She had reviewed all of Dr. Setala's scans and had tried everything she knew to wake Tuvok from his coma. Each day, she reviewed the data again, thinking that perhaps she would come up with an idea that had as yet eluded her, but she had come to the conclusion that Tuvok was in a Vulcan healing trance and would not wake up until his body had healed itself.

Between visiting Tuvok, spending time in the lab and helping Hoda around the house, she kept herself busy. She tried to keep herself occupied so she would not spend too much time thinking about her predicament. But despite her attempts, she could not help but feel an intense frustration at her own helplessness.
She had felt the same way many years earlier on a distant planet in the Delta Quadrant, and although Hoda's house reminded her of Lake George, her circumstances reminded her of her exile on New Earth with Chakotay. Once again, she was stranded on an alien world with no modern technology. During their time on New Earth, Chakotay's company and attention had sometimes made her uncomfortable. Now, she longed for his comforting, strong presence. In a way, she felt as though her time on New Earth had prepared her for life on Laiffa. She remembered how difficult it had been to let go of her duties and her life on Voyager then, but now, six years later, she could feel herself settling into a daily routine, forced to accept that there was nothing she could do but take each day as it came. She was able to find moments of enjoyment in spite of her circumstances, and she had started to form real relationships with Erho, Vihalla and Hoda. She paused in her shoveling to wipe the sweat from her brow with the back of her arm.

"How's it going?" Hoda walked down the grassy hill towards the flower bed where Kathryn was working. She was carrying a watering can, which she used to water a nearby patch of flowers.

"I'm halfway there," Kathryn said, surveying the garden.

Putting down her watering can, Hoda came over and poked at the soil with a stick. "Good. This will be ready to plant in no time." Then she looked up at Kathryn, who was wiping sweat from her forehead again. "Why don't you take a break?"

"I can finish it today."

"Nope. Take a break."

"But…"

"No buts, young lady. Tomorrow is another day. You can finish it then. Right now, you look like you need a dip in the lake!"

Kathryn laughed. "That does sound good."

"Erho just phoned and said he's coming by before dinner. I told him it's about time he got you out in that boat, so hurry up and go for your swim so he can take you for a boat ride before we eat. I'll put the shovel away."

Knowing there was no use in arguing, Kathryn hurried up the hill to the house to change. Five minutes later, clad in one of the hand-me-down swim suits from Vihalla, she was plunging into the water, enjoying the cool liquid as it washed the sweat off her warm skin. The lake water was soft, softer than any water she had even felt, and she relished its healing coolness as she swam. Feeling refreshed after her swim, she threw on some clothes and pulled her hair up in a clip. It was getting long; she hadn't had time for a trim since being on Voyager.

She was pulling dry towels from the clothes line when she heard Erho's voice. "Hello, Kathryn."

"Erho, nice to see you."

"My mother said you'd enjoy a boat ride."

"It was her idea. I'm sure I would enjoy it, but I don't want to be an inconvenience to you."

"It's no trouble. Just give me a minute to get the boat out of the boathouse."

Kathryn finished taking care of the towels and by the time she was done, Erho had pulled the boat up alongside the dock. The boat was small, but well cared for, and Erho extended a rough hand to help Kathryn step into it from the dock. "What do you use the boat for mostly?" she asked, settling into a chair towards the bow.

"My dad used to go out fishing in it. Funny, because he never really liked to eat fish. But the rest of us did, and I guess he liked the act of fishing. I don't have much time to use it, myself, but my mom likes a boat ride every now and then. And I guess my brother goes fishing when he comes to visit." He pushed away from the dock and started the boat's motor. Soon, they were off. Kathryn loved being on the water, and she relished the sensation of the wind in her hair and the sun on her face. Erho slowed the motor to point out particularly grand houses, but most of the lake was populated with modest homes and small cabins, much like Hoda's. They drove past children jumping off a dock, screeching with delight, and Kathryn even saw a furry animal at the end of another dock that resembled a dog. Erho explained how some of the people who lived on the islands could only get there by boat; there were no roads at all. They passed couples sitting outside enjoying an evening drink or meal, and waved to passing boats as they sped by.

Finally, Erho pointed the boat back towards home. He held the boat against the dock so Kathryn could get out before putting it back in the boathouse. She met him at the door of the boathouse. "Thank you. That was wonderful, the most fun I've had since I've been here."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it." He paused as they walked slowly up to the house together. "How are you doing, Kathryn?"

"I'm fine."

"No, really. How are things going? Is Dr. Nellia accommodating you? Is my mother driving you crazy yet?"

"Dr. Nellia is very helpful. I have every hope that I'll be able to construct a probe that will be able to send a message to my people. And your mother is wonderful. She reminds me of my grandmother. She was another stubborn, feisty woman who had a house on the lake. I feel as at home here as I possibly could, under the circumstances." She paused. They had stopped at the bottom of the stairs that led up to the deck. "Of course, there are times when I feel terribly lonely. I wonder if I'll ever see my friends or family again."

"In a way, that means you're lucky. If you didn't feel that, then you wouldn't have anything worth going home to," Erho said softly.

Janeway looked up at him with a small smile. "Yes, I suppose that's true."

"Are you just going to stand there chatting, or are you coming in for dinner?" Hoda asked from the top of the stairwell.

"I can't stay, Mom. I told you. I have a meeting."

"Oh. Are you sure? I have your favorite cookies for dessert." "I have to go, Mom. I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Okay," Hoda replied, sounding unsure.

"I'm looking forward to dinner, Hoda," said Kathryn, trying to raise the older woman's spirits.

"Good," she said. "At least somebody's going to eat around here." Erho kissed his mother and wished Kathryn a good evening, leaving the two women alone.

Hoda's meals were the epitome of what Tom Paris would have called "comfort food." She made stews and roasts, soups and homemade bread. The flavors were different from anything Kathryn had tasted before, but they were good, and as busy as her days were, she found she was always hungry by the time Hoda had dinner on the table. As they sat down to eat, Hoda asked her about her boat ride and her swim.

"It was wonderful. I know it sounds silly, but there's something almost magical about that lake."

"That does sound silly, doesn't it?" Hoda replied with a smile. Then she became thoughtful. "Actually, there's a legend about it."

"Really?"

"Yes. My grandfather told it to me when I was a little girl. The story went that there was a young woman who grew up on the lake, not that far from here. She met a young man and they fell madly in love. That was before the First Great War, and her young man, well, he went off to fight in the war and was killed. The girl was so distraught that she jumped in the lake and drowned herself."

"That's terrible."

"The story goes that her spirit sank to the bottom of the lake, and though her body died, her soul was so pure that it survived. That spirit still lives in this lake, some say, which is why those who come to the lake feel a sense of healing, because the woman's spirit didn't want anyone else to experience the pain that she had. It's said that, on the night of a full moon, if you see your own perfect reflection in the lake, you can ask the spirit for your heart's desire and it will be fulfilled." Kathryn was enraptured by Hoda's story, until the old woman laughed and said, "Of course, it's just a silly old story."

"Of course." Janeway paused. "Sometimes ancient legends have truth to them, even if they are just silly stories."

Hoda reached across the table and patted Kathryn's hand. "Ah, you are a smart one, Kathryn Janeway. It's too bad my Arvy isn't around. He would have loved to know you." Hoda paused. Kathryn knew that Arvy had been Hoda's husband, but she didn't want to pry into the older woman's business. "It's a shame he had to die so young, a real shame. He got sick, you know, a tumor. Nothing our poor son could do about it, except make him a little more comfortable towards the end. That was hard on Erho."

"I know what it's like to watch your father suffer and not be able to do anything about it," Kathryn whispered. After she'd said it, she was surprised that the words had come out so easily.

"Your father's gone, too, is he?"

"Yes. A long time ago. I, um, I was there. I couldn't save him."

Hoda reached across the table and cupped Kathryn's cheek in her wrinkled hand. "You're not responsible for his death, Kathryn, any more than Erho was responsible for my Arvy's sickness."

Janeway felt tears spring to her eyes as she looked into Hoda's kind face. "Thank you," she whispered.

Hoda smiled and gave her cheek a motherly pat, then set about to cleaning up the dinner dishes.

"Hoda, let me do that."

"You can clear the table, but I'll clean up. I know where everything goes."

Janeway smiled. If there was an upside to being stranded on Laiffa, getting to know Hoda Setala was definitely part of it.

...

"We've reached the Explorer's last confirmed coordinates, Captain," reported Harry Kim.

"Scan the area," Chakotay ordered. "Are there any spatial phenomena or anomalies in the system?"

"Scanning now."

Chakotay knew Kathryn's insatiable curiosity and hoped that there would be something here that would lead him in the direction she had gone.

"No nebulas. No spatial distortions. I'm not picking up any unusual phenomena," Kim reported.

"B'Elanna?" Tom asked. She was sitting at the bridge's engineering station.

"I'm reprogramming the long range sensors to scan for transwarp particles."

"Come on, Kathryn," Chakotay muttered. "Give me a clue."

"I'm picking up evidence of transwarp particles on long range sensors," said Torres. "The trail is rapidly decaying. It looks like it's been a while since they came this way. The closest I can pick it up is a few light years from here."

"That has to be them," said Chakotay. "There aren't any other transwarp ships in this sector."

"Not that we know of," pointed out Paris.

"True, but it's the best lead we've got. B'Elanna, transfer those coordinates to the helm. Helm, lay in a course."

"Aye, Captain," replied Baytart from the conn.

"Engage, warp 9. B'Elanna, continue to scan for the transwarp particles. We'll adjust our course accordingly."

"Already working on it," B'Elanna replied.

As Voyager sped towards the transwarp trail at high warp, Chakotay knew that they were days, possibly even weeks behind the Explorer. In the chair next to his, Tom Paris seemed to sense his thoughts. "It could be that their transwarp drive malfunctioned," Paris said. "Maybe they ended up too far out for subspace communication, and they're making repairs."

"Maybe." Chakotay knew he sounded doubtful. "There were only five of them on that ship. Kathryn, Tuvok, an engineer, a science officer and a pilot. Not a big repair team."

"Captain Janeway is the best there is, and I'm sure she was fully briefed on the drive before they left."

"Yes."

Paris regarded his captain and his friend for a moment, noting Chakotay's furrowed brow and intense expression. "You're afraid that something happened to them."

"The only possible explanation for Captain Janeway not communicating with Starfleet is that she couldn't. Which means that either they're too far out of range, or too damaged, or…" Chakotay couldn't bear to speak the final possibility that had entered his mind.

"We'll find her, Chakotay," Paris said softly.

The captain gripped the armrests of his chair and stared ahead, determination shining in his eyes. "We better."

...

Janeway was working, hunched over her probe, when Dr. Nellia poked his head into the lab. "Captain, I need to go," he said. "My wife will have my ridges if I'm late for dinner again this week."

"Go ahead, Doctor. I just have one more modification to make to this probe, and then it will be ready to launch."

Nellia frowned. "Are you sure you'll be all right here by yourself?"

Janeway found the doctor's concern both touching and annoying. "I've been stranded on the other side of the galaxy. I think I can handle turning off the lights and closing the door."

"I'm not questioning your competency, Captain. I know you've been here for a few weeks now, but Dr. Setala and I have done our best to protect you during that time. I don't want to leave you here alone."

"I appreciate your concern, Doctor, but I'm more than capable of protecting myself. I'm so close to finishing this; I just want to get it done. If I can finish it tonight, we can launch tomorrow. And the sooner I launch this probe, the sooner I can leave Laiffa so you don't have to worry about me anymore."

"Very well, Captain. If you insist. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Doctor." Nellia left, and Janeway was alone. She felt guilty for a moment as she realized that Nellia's parting tone had been terse. Perhaps her refusal of his protection had offended him. She put the thought out of her mind; she'd apologize to the doctor the next day. Right now, she had too much work to do.

The Laiffan computer systems were antiquated, and she had often wished she had a tricorder to interface with them. But in the course of the two weeks since she had been released from the hospital, she had devoted herself to working on the probe and had become familiar with the Laiffan computer language. She manually adjusted one final circuit and then programmed the probe to transmit a distress call that would be detected by any Starfleet ship. An hour later, she was finished. She considered calling Dr. Nellia and asking him to return to the lab so they could launch the probe right away, but then she remembered that he was home with his family and didn't want to be disturbed. He had been beyond generous with his time and his research equipment; she didn't want to impose on him any further.

Janeway turned off the lights and locked the lab behind her. She took her coat from the coat rack in the hallway and made her way towards the front door of the CSE. There were a few others working late, and she passed them in the halls. Some gave her a friendly smile, while others looked at her with curiosity. A few regarded her with disdain or fear. She disregarded their reactions, instead turning her mind to Tuvok. She hadn't visited him that day; she had been absorbed in her work, but she was sure that Dr. Setala would have contacted her immediately if there had been any change in his condition. She thought about Hoda's legend of the lake and wondered if it was worth asking the lake spirit to bring Tuvok out of his coma. She shook her head, unable to believe she was even considering such a thing. But it had been almost three weeks since their arrival on Laiffa, and she felt no closer to getting home or finding a cure for Tuvok than she had been when she had first awoken in the hospital. At least the probe could be launched first thing in the morning.

A male voice jolted her from her thoughts. "Captain Janeway, isn't it?"

"Yes. And you are?"

"Taisto. Taisto Lapala."

"Right, Mr. Lapala." Lapala worked in the astrophysics department of the CSE, and Janeway knew him only by reputation. He was tall and muscular, with dark hair and dark eyes. Kathryn had heard some of the lab techs talking about how attractive they thought he was, but there was something about the Laiffan astrophysicist that made her uncomfortable.

"You know, Captain, I heard you have technology that can transport people and objects from one place to another in the blink of an eye. Is that true?"

"I'm not at liberty to discuss that with you, Mr. Lapala. Goodnight." They emerged into the CSE's main lobby, and Janeway waved to the front desk attendant as she swiped her access card at the building's exit. To her dismay, Lapala did the same and followed her out of the building.

"Not at liberty?" he scoffed. "Not so, my dear lady. You have every liberty. You're just being selfish, refusing to share your technology with us even though it would make our lives so much better."

Janeway stopped to face him. "I am abiding by the laws of my government, just as you must abide by the laws of yours."

Lapala stepped a little too close, towering over Janeway as he looked down into her eyes. The fear and anger that she saw in his expression sent a shiver down her spine. "I refuse to obey laws that should never be. Like the one that gives you the right to be standing free on Laiffan soil."

"Excuse me, Mr. Lapala. I think this conversation is finished." Janeway tried to maneuver around the tall Laiffan. Instead of letting her pass, he grabbed her wrist, hard. "Let me go," Janeway ordered in a quiet but deadly tone. Lapala seemed surprised by her ferocity. "I said, let me go. Or I'll have you on your back on the ground in front of whichever of your colleagues happens to be passing by." Caught off guard, Lapala released his grip, and Janeway bolted for her car. She got in, locked the door and sped away from the CSE without looking back. During the drive to Hoda's, she regained control of her breathing, but when she walked in the door, she had not yet managed to gain control of her anger.

When she marched into the house, she found Hoda sitting at the dinner table with Dr. Setala. They had already finished their meal. "There you are!" Hoda exclaimed. "We didn't wait for you."

The doctor stood when she came in, observing the expression on her face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Something happened. What is it?"

"I told you, it's nothing."

Erho reached out to stop her from retreating. She withdrew her hand quickly, and this only increased his concern. "Let me see that." Reluctantly, she extended her hand. A dark bruise was already forming around her wrist where Lapala had grabbed her. "Who did this to you?"

"I had an encounter with a Mr. Lapala when I was leaving the CSE today."

"Taisto," said Hoda, shaking her head angrily. "He's no good, that one. Never has been, never will be."

"Mother," Erho admonished her.

"Don't argue with me, Erho. I know a bad apple when I see one, and that Taisto Lapala is a bad apple."

"If you come and see me tomorrow, I have something that will help this heal," the doctor told Kathryn.

"It's just a bruise."

Erho crossed his arms over his broad chest. "Come and see me tomorrow."

"All right. After we launch the probe." Erho and Hoda shared in Kathryn's excitement about finishing the probe, and she was happy to shift the conversation away from her encounter with Taisto.

After Hoda had gone to bed, Erho offered Kathryn a drink, and they sat together in the screened in porch drinking a Laiffan beverage similar to brandy. "I'm happy that Dr. Nellia was able to provide you with the materials you needed for your probe," he said.

"Me, too."

"What do you think are the chances that your people will detect it?"

She took a long sip of her drink. "Honestly? I don't know. If Tuvok were here, he'd tell you the odds. They'd probably be something dismal. But I'll be damned if I give up on my people that easily."

"You must be an inspiring leader. If I was one of your people, I'd be as devoted to you as it sounds like they are, from your stories."

"We've been through a lot together." She didn't voice her fear that Starfleet might find the debris of the Explorer and think her dead. She could only hope that they would have sent Chakotay to look for her; she knew he would not give up.

"You don't give yourself enough credit, Kathryn," Erho said, reaching out to touch her hand. "You're here, alone, on an alien planet with little hope of ever getting home, surrounded by people you don't know. And yet you face every day with courage and hope. You never give up, no matter what the odds. I admire you."

Kathryn was touched by the doctor's frank and honest compliment. She didn't know how to respond. She wished she felt as much courage and hope as Erho seemed to feel from her. "Thank you, Erho. But I've had help, from you, from Vihalla, from your mother and Dr. Nellia. You're too kind."

Setala smiled. "You're deserving of our kindness, Kathryn. It's not charity." He glanced at the time and stood up. "Well, I have an early shift tomorrow. I should be going." He took his jacket from the hook inside the door, then grasped her hand, turning it over in his to examine the bruise on her wrist again. "Are you sure you're all right?" he asked, looking at her closely.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine, thank you."

"Don't forget to come and see me tomorrow for this. And good luck with the probe launch."

"Thank you."

"Goodnight, Kathryn."

"Goodnight."

Erho left, leaving Kathryn alone in the porch. Feeling restless, she made her way down to the dock. She sat down on the wooden slats and breathed in the fresh air, listening to the gentle lapping of the water against the shore. She looked up at the stars, finding comfort in their glittering presence. Erho's kindness and concern for her wellbeing had caught her off guard. His protectiveness towards her reminded her of Chakotay, and her thoughts strayed to a subject she had tried to avoid ever since she'd been stranded on Laiffa.

She closed her eyes, remembering the moment in her ready room when she and Chakotay had shared a passionate kiss. She could not forget the way his lips had felt on hers, so soft, and yet so demanding at the same time. She could not forget the hungry look of passion in his eyes the moment before he had kissed her, or the feeling of his fingers intertwined with hers when they had sat on the sofa afterwards, trying to decide what to do next. She had thought they had plenty of time.

That's been my mistake, hasn't it? she thought. Always thinking I have plenty of time. On New Earth, I thought we had plenty of time. After Mark moved on, I thought we had plenty of time. After Teero and Quarra and Ransom, I thought there was plenty of time to repair our friendship. And then the admiral had shown up and told her that her time was running out. Now, she might never see Chakotay again. She had always been unlucky in love, and it seemed that trend was only continuing. As she looked out at the blackness of water in the Laiffan night, Kathryn Janeway knew that she was completely, utterly alone, and for the first time since being stranded on the planet, she rested her head against her knees and wept.