A year after the war, Faramir dies of a strange illness. Eowyn is distraught, but Queen Arwen suggests a visit to the elf colony in Ithilien to find herself again. But does Eowyn find more than she bargained for? (Legolas/Eowyn)
Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings, nor do I claim any characters or profits from them!!
'To Love Again'
Chapter 3: 'Trust Me'
The next day Eowyn awoke strangely refreshed and alert. She hadn't remembered the last time she had slept so well. Yet, she didn't wish to move from her spot just yet. The sun's rays had found their way into her room through the stained glass window, allowing color's to dance about her room is if a ballet. The birds outside sang their sweet tune adding to the ballet, a small orchestra. She watched and listened for what seemed like hours until a sharp knock at the door broke her from her thoughts.
"My Lady Eowyn, are you awake yet?" The voice of her attendant sounded slightly annoyed and she groaned inwardly. "My lady, it is almost mid-day." She gasped realizing just how late it truly was, and moved from her bed her leg catching in the sheets. With a loud thud she landed on the hard wood floor beneath her. "My Lady, is everything ok in there?" Opening her mouth she let out a silent painful utter and stood up quickly. Moving to the desk where her housecoat lay she wrapped it around her securely. "My Lady, can you hear me? I'm coming in!" Tying the knot quickly about her she turned to face the opening door. "Lady Eowyn, are you well?"
"Y-Yes I'm well thank you," she said smiling slightly the throbbing in her knee aching wickedly.
He didn't seem at all convinced as his eyes moved to the sheets on the floor and her awkward appearance. However, he said nothing to her about it as he moved to her, offering her a silver and blue garment.
"What is it?" Eowyn asked letting her fingers graze the cool, soft fabric.
"A gift from my Master Lord Legolas," he said, as she graciously took the dress from the elf.
She awed at the dress, never having seen or worn anything ever so splendid. It dark navy velvet that fell slightly passed her feet, trimmed in a sheer silver trim. The upper sleeves of her dress were lighter blue, beaded and sequined in beautiful hand sewn flowers. The Lower sleeves were light, a shimmering silver, trimmed as well in beads and sequins that sparkled in every which way. "It is beautiful, thank you. Might I ask of the occasion?"
"No occasion my Lady," he said, tilting his head in question. "Is there a rule against giving gifts to others where you are from?" He seemed genuinely confused and she shook her head slightly.
"There is no such rule in the world of men," she said holding the dress close. "Just that it's rarely seen and not practiced as well as it is here. But I am thankful for the dress. It just took me off guard."
He seemed to understand and smiled. "Very well then I will leave you to bathe and change."
"U-Umm..." Eowyn stuttered taking a step towards the elf.
"My Lady?"
"Just where is the bath?"
After bathing and changing, Eowyn found her way outside wishing to explore her new surroundings. She hadn't been able to in the last week due to being injured, so she had to make up on time. She spent her time wondering in the wild gardens lush with flowers and ferns. She had visited the courtyard and had even met a few elves conversing with them some before setting off again. The colony was absolutely wondrous and it lifted her spirits slightly. Moving farther from the white dwellings, she moved into a large grassy meadow surrounded by many trees of different kinds. And then she saw them, like she had before, the white horses grazing in their grassy paradise.
Biting her lower lip she moved closer fearful then might run at her coming, yet they merely stood their ground allowing her to come close. Never had she seen such horses before. They seemed fairly tamed, yet here they were out in the open, free to run as they pleased. Taking a chance she moved along side one. It raised its head to her, watching her before returning to its grazing. Reaching out a hand she rested it on its white mane patting it softly, earning a soft neigh. "Beautiful..."
"Do you like what you have seen so far?"
She turned slowly to find him moving towards her, an all knowing smile on his face. "If you know the answer, why ask?"
"Because sometimes, it's better to get the answer from the source," he said, moving to another horse and whispering something to it in elfish. The horse neighed happily and seemed to nod its head as if it was talking back.
"What did you say to it?" Eowyn asked turning back to the horse before her.
"Hello," was his simple reply turning to face her while crossing his arms and leaning back on the horse. Rolling her eyes she continued to tend to the horse before her. "You seem rather taken with these horses Lady."
Eowyn turned back to the elf prince catching his eyes. "I am the daughter of the horse masters of Rohan. I grew up riding horses and taking care of them all my life. I know all about them, yet… Of all my time with them, I've never seen horses like these. No bridles or breastplates, no ropes or brands… They are free to roam yet they do not. They are loyal to their masters and stay near." She sighed looking away from him. This tranquil life, it's almost unimaginable."
Legolas watched another horse move towards her, nudging her with its nose. She chuckled lightly and patted its neck as it nuzzled her face with its velvety nose. She smiled and nuzzled it back, kissing its forehead. She seemed to have calmed down from yesterday and he was thankful. And even though an aura of affliction still hovered over her, it was not as intense as it had been. Perhaps, he could help her. "Ride him."
"What?" Eowyn asked glancing up his way. 'What did you say?"
"Ride him," he said again turning from her and mounting another horses back. "Come...Ride him. He will not harm you, I promise it."
She wasn't sure if she should, yet the temptation to ride again consumed her. Taking in a deep breath she moved to the side of the horse. Taking a glance its way it neighed loudly nodding its head for her to continue. Encouraged, she quickly mounted the horse using holding tightly to its mane.
"Khila amin! (Follow me)" Legolas called and instantly her horse took off after his. Eowyn had ridden bare back before, it was something she was used to. However, it wasn't the most comfortable way to ride. But yet, she felt no discomfort as she galloped behind the blonde elf. Turning back to where they had been she laughed as she watched the other horses galloping behind her closely. "Come!" he called again and she could feel the horse below her pick up speed catching up to his and riding side-by-side with his own. They rode together through the field and into the woods, jumping logs and running through small creeks. "Is that all a shield-maiden from Rohan can muster?"
Eowyn had not ridden like this since before the war of the one ring. Before Grima had taken control of her uncle; before there were any hard times. Her grip tightening she smiled. "Come on boy, lets show them what we've got," she whispered to the horse hearing it whinny and then suddenly taking off. Instantly they passed Legolas and his horse pushing far ahead of the team. She laughed as the horse maneuvered cleverly through the thickets and down large steep hills and back out into a field. Its hooves pounded heavily on the earth and she whispered endearments to the white beast below her. Finally, it slowed its pace allowing its herd to catch up. Eowyn turned around watching as Legolas and the herd caught up.
"Never go up against a woman of Rohan," she said dismounting the horse and watching it return to the ranks. Placing her hands on her hips she raised her head high. "Not a Rohan rider anyhow."
A small smile crept up upon his lips as he watched her pride swell. He hadn't doubted her at all; rather, he had more or less encourages her instead. "I shall remember that," Legolas said holding his hand out to her. She eyed him a moment glancing from him to his hand. "Come, shield-maiden, the walk is long…I shall take you back."
Holding out a hand, he caught it and pulled her up behind him. "Home Areta."
"Areta?" Eowyn asked wrapping her arms around his middle as the horse began to head back to the manor. "She has a name?"
Legolas sucked in a deep breath as he felt her hands wrap themselves around him. He had never had anyone so close to him in his entire life; all except Gimli, but only when riding. The dwarf had been too small in stature to actually ride a horse. But truthfully, he had never had a member of the opposite sex so close. Ignoring her small hands that clutched at his middle, he went on. "All my horses have names," he said glancing over his shoulder at her. "Areta is the dominant mare of the herd. The one you rode was Ariku, the oldest stallion."
"Your horses?" she asked turning to see the others once again following them back into the woods and back the path they had come.
"They were a gift from my Father," he said moving a hand to pat a foal that had ridden up beside him. "A gift I have taken great lengths to protect and preserve."
Eowyn glanced down at the foal, happily trotting next to them. "They seem content here, here in this paradise you have prepared."
"Paradise?" Legolas asked. "No, this is not paradise; for that comes much later." The sun was now setting and his eyes moved to the horizon almost searching for something. A small smile formed on his lips and he let a small breath out. "One day, I will go there to be with my people and live in peace forever." His eyes fell from the sky and down to the horse beneath him. "But not until my time here is spent."
She didn't ask what he meant for she knew. She had heard of this "paradise" many a times from Lady Arwen and Lord Aragorn. White sails and white shores, to a distant place only the elves were welcome to; the undying lands. No mortal had ever passed into them that had been known of. No mortal she knew of could.
"Sad you must be then, knowing your friends from middle earth can not travel with you to your final destination," she whispered, knowing fully well he had heard her. He seemed to stiffen at her comment and she watched a look of sorrow quickly cross his fine features and then just as quickly, vanish. "That you will never see them again…ever…"
"I do not think of it like that," he said quickly his eyes darting back and forth.
"Then how do you see it?" she asked her grip on his loosening and pulling away slightly. "All the people you have met in these last few years; in the last year and a half…you would not think twice about ever seeing them again? You would accept it and go on living with those of whose company would not compare?"
"Yes, I would," he said finally, coming to a stop for a moment. "I would go, and be glad of it."
"But you…"
"There are not buts, or no ifs," he said firmly taking in a deep breath. "When I leave middle earth, it will be a time of celebration. And I shall not look back and weep for those I shall not see again, because I know that they are glad for me to be in a better place. Thus I shall not think twice about my parting."
His words stung her and she felt a great deal of anger towards him. How could someone be happy of a loved one's departure? How could someone wish them farewell and not weep and mourn?
"One of these days Shield-maiden of Rohan, you will understand this," he said, as the horse once again continued, leaving them both in silence.
After they had returned she had left him without saying a word. She was angry with him and wished to be as far away from him as possible. Perhaps it was the fact that he was an elf that he didn't share the same emotions as she did. But either way, his way of thinking made her extremely furious and annoyed. The loss of a loved one for her was hard enough. She grieved for her beloved everyday and dreamed of nothing more than to see him again. Yet him… Gripping, the handle to her chambers she opened it quickly and slammed it shut. Right now, she wished to be alone for as long as was possible.
Her topic had upset him more than he had let on. She had hit a sore spot within his heart and he felt something building within him. Truthfully, he had thought about such a thing since he had met Aragorn and all his new friends. He would not wish to part with neither him nor Gimli, yet unlike elves they could not live on like he could. They would eventually die and he would be alone with no one here to hold him back. He would have no choice then but to move on with his life. Yet he knew deep down, even if he was to leave they would not be sad of his parting. They would much rather see him safely off with his people then spend an eternity alone. They were true friends to the core. He would not be sad now… And he wouldn't look back…ever. Ever…
Dinner was delightful, as she had never had such a fine meal. She wasn't exactly sure what it was, nor would she ask; that would be rude. But it had filled her empty stomach and now she was spent. She made her way down a long hallway, doors on either side. She hadn't gone too far when a light in one room caught her attention. Curious she moved to the door quietly. Peeking in, her eyes widened as she gazed upon a large and massive library filled with books beyond comprehension. A few elves moved silently within the room carrying small tomes and scrolls. Always as a child she had been fond of reading. Before her Father was killed by Orcs, he would always read to her and her brother after supper. It had always been something she looked forward to. After his death she had taken up his role and even though younger, read to her brother and her cousin. Moving into the library a few elves stopped and nodded her way. Taking this as a sign she was allowed to be here she began to scroll the titles. A few she had heard of, but most of she had never; and she wished nothing more than to take a couple few, and sit next to a warm fire and read to her hearts content. Reaching her hand to a book she stopped quickly feeling eyes upon her.
"I wish to speak with you..."
Taking a deep breath she removed her hand from the book and moved. "I thought you might…I'm beginning to think you are following me my Lord," Eowyn said not bothering to look at him; rather continuing down the book case. "Surely there must be something more interesting then following me all over."
"There would be no point in following you," he said bluntly. "It would be utterly pointless to do so considering no matter where you go, our paths shall cross every now and then." She still refused to look at him as she scanned the books before her.
"Well you seem to be making it a point," she said pulling from the shelf a large leather bound book. "And one would wonder why?"
His eyes followed her as she moved towards the end of the bookcase opening the book and beginning to read trying to ignore him. Using an arm he blocked her path and with the other he reached for the top of the book leaning in close to her face. "Why do you continue to carry the load of Faramir's death with you? What do you hope to gain by doing so? He is not here anymore; why not release that bond which is holding you captive? Lady Eowyn… There is no point in grieving for one who is already dead."
For a moment she was total silent, eyes still on the book but still. Then after a moment she lifted her eyes to his thrilling blue ones. "How dare you…" she whispered dropping the book to the floor. "How dare say such things…You know nothing of which you speak!" Infuriated she took a step forward raising her hand and slapping him right across the face.
He did not flinch nor did he back down as her hand made contact with his skin. He merely continued to stare into her heated blue gray eyes. "Why are you angry shield-maiden of Rohan? I speak no lie, nor do you disagree with me."
"You know nothing of loss!" Eowyn yelled tears forming in her eyes. "You and your kind…you know nothing of loss and pain. If death takes one, you accept it like its nothing and move on with life as if nothing has happened. Like your kinsman meant nothing to you! Humans are not as fortunate as not to care. We mourn and grieve and despair when hard times come. And we never forget. We are bound to our hearts, tied to our emotions and trapped within them." Her tears fell freely now and she grasped her chest falling to her knees. "I would give up my life in a heartbeat to take his place. I would give up the very breath that supplies me life, to him if it meant he could come back. But no matter what I wish, what I want… He isn't coming back…And there is nothing I can do but mourn his loss. I can go no farther nor go back… I have no where to turn now…I have no where I belong…" Covering her mouth she wept openly, her tears falling to the marble floor and pooling before her.
Closing his eyes he could feel the anguish and suffering pouring from her very being. But he knew now… He had finally pushed her for her true feelings and now had found the source of her suffering. Yet now…What was he suppose to do? Breaking her down had been exhausting enough but now… In some small way he could relate to her, knowing her faithfulness towards her precious ones wanting to keep them close. Knowing that same feeling, and of that same loss that he dwelt on when realizing he would leave this world someday. Leaving, and never returning to those whom he cared dearly for. Yet, he knew happiness awaited him in the future, but what of her? Where does one turn when they have nothing or anyone to turn to? Kneeling down to her he did the only thing that came to mind and quickly pulled her into a tight embrace, his arms holding her protectively to him.
"I do feel remorse for the ones I will leave behind," Legolas said softly. "I feel sorrow that I shall not see them again…nor take part in any more fond memories. But I will not let those feelings overrule me and cause me pain. Everything happens for a reason Eowyn, shield-maiden of Rohan. Captain Faramir's death is difficult, but it's not impossible to get through. Do you truly believe he would be happy knowing you are grieving for him when you should be getting on with your life? Do you believe that would make him proud?"
He felt her stiffen in his hold before answering a soft "no".
"I wish to help you, but you must be willing to let go of that which chains your heart. You must let him go… Let his memory rest in peace…and trust me."
"I'm afraid…" she cried closing her eyes and leaning into his chest. "I'm afraid to let go of him…afraid to say good-bye forever…"
"It's never good-bye," Legolas whispered taking one of her hands in his. "At least not forever…Trust me."
She lifted her head to stare into his eyes. She found nothing there but honesty and nodded to him. "I-I trust you."
His expression changed and he smiled a smile she had never seen before. "Then, it's time to truly say good-bye."
Stay tuned for chapter 4! Coming soon!
