Professors McGonagall was not looking forward to give sexual education to almost of all the first-year girls at Hogwarts.
She'd already taught the more general version to both genders last week, along with Dumbledore. Snape had been there too, but McGonagall didn't count him, as he'd spent most of the session playing with his wand (oh no, everything was starting to sound dirty now).
This lesson would be much more detailed, with the opportunity for the girls to ask questions - questions which Professor McGonagall hadn't prepared an answer to.
She dreaded to think what would happen if someone asked a question and she had no idea what to reply. McGonagall hoped dearly that the book Dumbledore had lent her had enough information to answer the students' questions.
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Dressed in her usual attire of green robes, Professor McGonagall entered the classroom where she usually taught Transfiguration. Today would be a much more different lesson that what she usually taught. She sat down at her desk and quickly skimmed over the important chapters of Teaching Kids About Sex for a few minutes.
It was 2:55. The lesson was meant to start at 3:00. Taking a deep breath, McGonagall opened the classroom door to find a line of girls waiting outside, chatting in groups.
'You may enter girls,' she announced. McGonagall held the door open so they could file in. 'Sit down where you like.'
After a few minutes, everyone had settled down. Professor McGonagall made her way to the front of the room and pulled out a small plastic basket and some scraps of parchment.
'Girls, you know why you are here today. Today's sexual education session will give you the chance to ask anonymous questions about anything related to sex, puberty, dating, or anything else you can think of. I'm going to hand you all a piece of parchment for you to write an anonymous question.'
McGonagall started to hand out the parchment. 'I would like you to all write down at least one questions, as I'm sure you'll all have at least one thing you want to ask. Please don't be shy.'
After a few minutes of passing the basket of parchment around, every girl had a sheet.
'I will give you five minutes to write down at least one question.' Professor McGonagall released a deep breath. This wasn't too bad.
Finally, she went round again to collect up all the bits of parchment. 'I will select questions at random and do my best to answer them.'
McGonagall extracted the first question. Does sex always make you bleed the first time? it read. McGonagall drew in a sharp breath. Was this really a worry for a first-year girl?
'The first question is - ' and she read it out, word for word, exactly as it was written.
A vast proportion of the girls gasped audibly. The professor maintained her always calm outward appearance.
'Girls, bleeding during the first time you have sexual intercourse will not always happen, and can be a sign that you're not fully...lubricated.'
Many girls looked horrified at this choice of vocabulary.
'So, no, sexual intercourse does not always make you bleed, however some women do bleed a bit, but it is probably nothing to worry about. If you are in pain during sex you should stop - sex is not meant to be a painful experience. Whether or not it is your first time having sex, you should not be bleeding litres of blood afterwards. If you are ever concerned about your sexual health you can always visit your Healer.' McGonagall hoped her answer was good enough.
The professor withdrew the next question. What is a blowjob? it read.
McGonagall was shooketh to the core. Yet she read out the question in a calm voice. Again, girls gasped.
'A blowjob refers to when a man is giving oral sex, that is, his penis is sucked.'
A group of girls giggled. McGonagall ignored it, as it wasn't loud enough to be disturbing others. And she was feeling pretty scandalised herself. She pulled out another slip of parchment from the basket. Does losing your virginity make you bleed?
Merlin! A lot of first-year girls seemed to be worried about sex being painful. The professor briefly wondered if boys worried as much about sex, before pulling out another piece of paper. It read Are some vaginas too small for penises? I am worried because I don't think my vagina will be big enough.
McGonagall had had enough. She just wanted to go to bed and drink her tea, but she knew it was her duty to answer this question. So she read it out clearly so all the girls could hear it.
Again, the same group of girls doubled over with laughter. McGonagall paced at the front of the room, trying to think of a good answer.
'I highly doubt this will be an issue for you. Once you are sufficiently lubricated it should probably not be a problem. However, if you are worried I would advise you to see your Healer, or Madam Pomfrey.'
Next question. 'How do you know if you're a lesbian?' the professor read from her slip of paper. This was a tricky one, as McGonagall had no personal experience on the subject.
'A lesbian is sexually attracted to women and not men. However, sometimes, especially as adolescents, heterosexual people have crushes on or experience sexual attraction to wards the same sex. Homosexuals may also experience these feelings towards people the opposite sex. This means it can be confusing for people your age to figure out their sexual orientation.'
McGonagall looked around the classroom, studying the girls' reactions. Most looked nonchalant, looking down at their nails or staring into the distance, but she suspected they were paying more attention to this question than they showed.
'I would say that you have plenty of time to figure this out. You may be bisexual, which means you are sexually attracted to both boys and girls, or even pansexual, which means you are attracted to all sexes of people, or you may be heterosexual, like the majority of people. Whatever you are, please do not feel pressure to know your sexuality at such a young age. I'm sure some of you girls haven't even thought about kissing yet. It's okay to not know what sex you are attracted to at this age.'
The girls looked bit happier now. They were definitely paying attention.
Professor McGonagall read out the next question. 'I am eleven years old, and I think I have a very high sex drive. Is this normal? I thought only teenagers were sexual. I think about sex at night and masturbate six times a week, which makes me worry that I have an excessive interest in sex.'
The group of laughing girls had turned red from giggling now. McGonagall tried to suppress her own blushing.
'Firstly, I would like to reiterate that there is nothing wrong with this. Having sexual feelings at this age is okay, and not weird. "Teenager" refers to someone between the ages of 13 and 19, and is not very biological, unlike "adolescent", which refers to a young person who is developing from a child into an adult. So while you are not a teenager, you are probably an adolescent, as you seem to be going through puberty. Therefore it is natural and right that you have sexual feelings. Unless there is more that you haven't mentioned in your question, you do not have an excessive interest in sex. Masturbating six times a week is not excessive at all, as long as you aren't spending hours and hours each time.'
McGonagall closed her eyes for a few seconds, trying to visualise the page on Teaching Kids About Sex that had the perfect answer to this question. 'In fact, not so long ago girls would have babies at your age, so it's really not strange that you are experiencing sexual feelings at this age.'
Some girls looked horrified and freaked out. What had she done wrong?
'But that doesn't mean it is bad for you to not be feeling sexual desires at this age. That's fine too. You are all at different stages in your development. What I must add is the only thing you should do with these sexual desires is masturbate. Having sex - and this includes all kinds of sexual acts, including oral sex, as well as sexual intercourse - at this young age would be highly inadvisable. I cannot imagine that any eleven year old in this school would be ready for sex.'
The bell rang just as the professor was drawing out another slip of paper. She put the basket on her table and turned to face the first-years. 'Thank you for attending, girls. I hope this talk was beneficial for you.'
McGonagall moved to the door to chivvy the girls off to their next lesson.
