Eidolon-
1.
a phantom; apparition; wraith; ghost
2. an ideal; deity
Chapter 3/6- pulse
Pulse
pulsepulsepulsepulse
The electricity
–
pulsepulse
-that was what one felt in the air whenever the sun began to set in the city. At least that's what I felt every time I walked along the crowded sidewalks during that part of the day. The village prepared itself for the coming darkness as the nocturnal creatures sat up on their beds, readying themselves for the night's activities.
It was something that has never affected me. The night didn't concern me at all - not its secrets or its cloaked sins. These were things that have always been part of reality, and always will continue on being so. It was better to just shut them out and get on with the drudgeries of life. One of my fellow co-workers had come to call me as a schizoid. At times I begin to believe it myself.
pulse
I felt as if I should be one of the patients rather than the doctors.
Still, here I was, looking out into that village sunset in the room of one of my patients. That electricity-pulse- could never enter into these grounds, and I watched it curiously from a distance.
I turned to Sasuke who had his eyes on the setting sun as well. "What are you thinking, Sasuke-san?"
It took some time 'til he finally answered, as if he was thinking of what to say. "That temple…"
I looked out into the window again. There was a shrine in the distance – the torii—gates--reflecting a brilliant shade of burgundy under the setting sun. Shrines were not uncommon in the large village of Konoha since many people used them to pay their respects to the kami of the village—though more importantly to wish themselves prosperity and pray for their deceased friends, relatives, and ancestors. However it was one of only two remaining jingu-ji, meaning that the structure also housed a temple inside of it. The construction of the last jingu-ji ended close after the official founding of the village, approximately sixty years ago. "What about it, Sasuke-san?"
"It's been a long time since I've been to one to pay my respects." He said quietly.
"Are you religious?" I asked.
A short pause as he considered the question.
"…No," he began to shake his head as if what laid inside pained him. "I…used to go every year to light incense after my family died. But it's been a while since I was gone."
I looked at him throughout the whole time, trying to glean buried clues as to what type of person the man that sat before me used to be. And perhaps, what he may really be underneath all the paranoia and troubled turmoil that I sensed within him.
"Do you want to go to the temple, Sasuke-san?"
"I don't know if I can." He paused, contemplating his choice of words. "I might not be able to anymore."
"Maybe you should go. You'll see that it won't have any effect on you and you're not a devil after all."
"Oh really? So would you take that risk?" He questioned suddenly.
"Hmm?"
"Would you touch fire, or drink acid if you've never had previous experience with either--," he expounded further, "yet someone told you to try it and promised you that it won't hurt you? Would you do it?"
"I… don't know," It was an unusual question, so I was not prepared to suddenly answer. I had to think about it. "Well, I guess I would in that case. But why would anyone tell me to do something like that?"
"You mean why would people want to fool you?"
I smiled lightly at that. "There's reality, and then there's your idea of reality."
"Right. But why would you believe what anyone tells you if what they're telling you is different from what you know as the truth?"
"Because that's arrogance; how can you claim to be right all the time, and know more than the other person?"
"It goes both ways." He said under his breath and then raised his voice. "So you believe what everyone says? Just because you think you don't know anything?"
I paused, somehow feeling as if I was about to walk into a trap. "Hmm…well I guess it depends if you have trust in the person who's saying it to you."
"For example?"
"Like people who care about you - your friends, your family…"
"No," he quietly interrupted, "you can't even trust them."
I hesitated for a second. "Tell me about your family Sasuke-san. You seem to carry some resentment...or perhaps some sort of anxiety towards their memory."
He shook his head. "There's nothing to tell."
"What about your mother; you mentioned before that she died." I paused for a brief moment to carefully consider my choice of words on a potentially sensitive subject. "How did she die? Maybe this is the reason that you've built this fantasy world around yourself."
He smirked at that. "Fantasy world, huh?"
"…This guilt driven image that you have of yourself." I continued. "I mean, the devil, Sasuke!" I could not help be bothered to include the honorific to his name due to my agitation. "I What could you have done that was so horrible that you would think of yourself as this devil?"
He sat there as if contemplating his words. "My family was killed by a devil called 'brother'. I later joined up with another devil in order to exact revenge. Does that explain things adequately? But that's not where things end."
As he continued on with his tale, my heart sank. I think it would have been better if he was only mocking me, but I knew that he believed every word of what he told me. And my pride in the belief that I had made progress and actually reached him…was crushed. It was then that I noticed something on the floor, hidden close beside one of the bed's leg posts..
I looked up into his dark eyes. "Sasuke, have you been taking your medication?"
He became silent and looked at the spot where I had been staring earlier. He didn't say anything.
"Those will help keep down the delusion and hallucinations Sasuke," I pleaded.
He tiredly shut his eyes and talked slowly, emphasizing every word. "I don't want anything to dilute my mind."
"They'll help you get better Sasuke. You have to take them." I slowly reached out and touched his forearm.
He pushed it away. "Just go."
I stood up slowly, turned, and left the room. I knew I needed to get some people to help secure him while I prepared a shot for him.
