AIEE! GOMEN, gomen! It's been forever, it really has! Sessha is sorry… like always… I can never update on time anymore… sad, but true, de gozaru de… I do not own Ruroken, despite my numerous attempts to bribe Shishio-san into letting me borrow the Juppongatana……ALL FAILED! (sob) ; . ;

(Scene where Shishio and Kenshin are fighting, right before the infamous "iron supplements, or lack thereof on the part of Shishio-san moment…" (In other words, shoulder-biteage…biting…?)

Yumi: Shishio-sama, NOOOO! Houji, you know that he can't fight for any longer than 48.1932 seconds without either a cappuccino or a handful of iron supplements! There's no telling what could happen!

Houji: (Too busy reading YM to notice) ………………………What? Huh?

Shishio: (freaking out) IRON……….SUPPLEMENTS! CO—FFEE…! (takes a honkin' big chomp out of Kenshin's shoulder)

Kenshin: …really should've seen that coming… Oro, I mean, YYAAAAAAAAARGHHH!

Yumi: Shishio-san, wait! Your coffee!

Shishio: COFFEE! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! (runs screaming off the set)

Kenshin: (Spyooing blood) Crispy-san is not the best director, de gozaru… Nobody called for a stunt double… the pain…

Sano: (despite the fact that Kenshin is spyooing blood (yes, I know the word is "spewing," I just like spyooing better… -.-") Don't worry, Kenshin… You'll be FINE…

Kenshin: I see——a light……

Sano: That would be the building collapsing in flames.

Houji: (breaks off with difficulty from his YM magazine for an instant) …HEY! I'm supposed to do that! Did one of you beat me to it? CURSE YOOOUUUUU! (Runs off side of building cackling maniacally)

Usui: (Runs in singing) THERE HE GOES! Da dee dum dee DA DEE DA dee da….

Yumi: 0.o

Sano: Umm… Usui…? You're kinda… dead now…

Usui: BAH, NONSENSE! (Continues singing, badly.)
Kenshin: Crispy-dono! (cough gurgle choke, etc.) Say cut already! You're boring us all, except Sessha, who is dying in a bloody pool of… well, blood!

Crispy: Erm… OK then… (Evilly drags out moment 5 seconds longer by messing with your mind and diabolically forcing you to read this pointless, non-plot-developing parenthese thing…. HAHAHAHA!) ………………..Cut.

Saito: Sure, Crispy, fully ignore the fact that I killed Usui…

Crispy: Bleeurgh. Eat pie! (sticks out tongue)

Saito, Shishio, Kenshin, Sano, Yumi, etc. : Oro…? (Yumi: I like pie…. ; . ;)

Shishio: NO! SHIT, SHIT! I (bleeeep)'in SAID ORO! SHIIIIIIIIIIITTT!

Crispy: You know, I should have had Chou the Evil Camera Person dude bleep out most of that…

Kenshin: And, that's why, kids, you should never drink coffee.

Yumi: Shame on you, Shishio-sama! How dare you try and raise the rating of this chapter even more…!

Shishio: … ; . ;

Aoshi, Sano, Usui, Saito: HAVE WE BEEN FORGOTTEN!

Crispy: …Well, for the most part, yes.

Kenshin: (Still spyooing blood) X . X WHEN IS THIS (BLEEEEEEP)'IN SCENE GOING TO END! (Crispy already said 'Cut,' de gozaru!)

Crispy: Just blame it on the aptly named, Chou the Evil Camera Person™.

Ayame Suzume: (Magically appear in Kyoto) Uncle Kenny made a swear! Uncle Kenny made a swear! Hey, Uncle Kenny? What was that word? What means 'Fu-

Crispy's well timed intervention: —DGE! (phew!) This scene is now officially… over! (waits impatiently for 5 seconds) CHOU! CUT! NOW! (Angry Kaoru eyes)

Kenshin: Reminds me of Tokyo, de gozaru…

Saito: (mumbling) Reminds me of Tokio…

(Next scene! (Finally, Chou fears my wrath just as much as everyone else… n.n") Anyways, in this scene, it is during the fight between Kenshin and Sojiro-kun. (Crispy-san is going backwards now…. -.- …and speaking in the third person…))

Sojiro: You irritate me, Himura-san. …The fact that you don't drink coffee irritates me. In fact, it irritates me so much, I think I need a Frappuccino break. Hold on one second.

(Kenshin's wounds get dressed by Sano)

Kenshin: Somehow, I do not doubt that Sojiro needing a Frappuccino right at that instant was no coincidence. (Crispy-san rereads that last line. Did that just make any sense…?...No? Ah, typical.)

Yumi: How much longer are you going to keep getting free refills?
Sojiro: Well, Yumi-san, Shukuchi-ing really takes a lot out of you, caffeine wise!

Sano: You know, I seriously think that Crispy-san is running out of ideas. Wouldn't you agree, majority of the people here?
Unanimous reply from everybody: YES.

Crispy: Well, I'm sorry if I can't go around pleasing every rooster-headed, Sojiro-insulting, freeloading, loafing SLACKER I come across! (Launches on heated debate about how much Sano resembles a roadkill chicken she saw on the way to the bus stop…)

Unanimous reply from everybody: That's just mean.

Crispy: You're right… gomen… again…

Usui: That has a nice rhyme! I have to put that into my next big hit! (Starts singing again) YOU'RE THE BUSINESS SUIT OF MY HEART'S EYE!

Crispy: Ororororororororo….

Sojiro: I hear dead people… AND THEY'RE SINGING!

Kenshin: Ororo… (swirly eyes) Crispy-dono… cut? Kudasai?

Crispy: sigh… -.-"

(Scene where Saizuchi and Fuji are about to appear by the Aoi-ya…) (I almost typed Akabeko… CRISPY-SAN, LEARN THE CONTENT-.-")

Saizuchi: HAHA, Fuji, my unnaturally vertically savvy ally!

Crispy: What a title… oyveh…

Saizuchi: Silence, obsoletely obstreperous obstacle! We shall charismatically compliantly commence our absolute anarchial assault on that ingenuously ingeniously innocent-looking inn, and prove that… we are good.

Crispy: sigh… (rolls eyes)

Fuji: YAAAAARRRGH! (trips and falls as he walks, splitting the costume in half, revealing that he truly is…———————————————————————— (The suspense is killing you, isn't it…) A fat, middle aged guy named Edgar Rofnarkingjoneschewinggumingghamingtonsworth! (referred to from now on as Ernie)

Saizuchi: Egad! Egotistic enormously entrancing enigma! Fuji's a chubby Bohemian on stilts! You bad, bad man! You unruly, usurping, unbearable onion! (A/N: Don't ask…)

Fuji: BOHEMIAN? Try Californian, Sazuccio!

Juppongatana, Kenshingumi, Oniwabanshuu, etc.: ORO!

Crispy: Don't tell me… Saizuchi… You're… Italian…?

Saizuchi—uh, I mean, Sazuccio: ……

Houji: IT'S TRUE! I KNEW IT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(everyone throws eggnog, thumbtacks, powdered milk, toasted almonds, archaeology equipment, ballpoint pens, Créme Broulée, Velcro, and the Kona, Hawaii Hard Rock Café at Houji.) (How's that for random…? n.n)

Shishio: (mumbling) And to this day, nobody suspects… that the Battousai is Scandinavian!

Kenshin: ORO?

Shishio: Ha-ha, Battousai! I know your deepest darkest secrets… Mufufufufufufu….

Jin-e: HEY! That's my evil laugh! Don't you do that freaky jaw-unhingingly wide-open mouth thing…?

Shishio: HEY! I have a cool evil laugh!

Crispy: Back on topic people… we're losing the topic…(How did you even get to Tokyo…?)

Sojiro: (runs on set) I brought Frappuccinos! Vanilla and Prune!

All: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Crispy: …Prune…? Euuuurgh….

Sazuccio: That'd be mine-a. Okey-Dokey!
Mario: Stop talking like me! That's disturbing enough! (I shouldn't even belong in this…)

(Mario gets attacked by the Florida Lego Patrol… (A/N: Does such a thing really exist…?)

Sojiro: Shishio-san… I got you a decaf…

Shishio: (eye twitches) YOU…WHAT…!

Sojiro: (sweatdrop) Heh… oro…problem… help?
Crispy: Shishio-san… DEEEEEEEP BREAAATH…… Uh… here. Have a… cappuccino…

Yumi: How… original.

Usui: Cut it out with all the "…"s! They're impossible to read!

Crispy: For you, or everybody else?

Usui: …no comment…

Chou the Evil Camera Person™: This is friggin' retarded! How come I have to be the camera dude, and miss all the stupidity?
Houji: (Very much in pain and covered in boo-boos) Stupidity is right… why do I never get any fangirls, like Seta, Himura, Sagara, or Shinomori… I'm only in my mid-40's!

Crispy: x.x Bleeuuch. Ew.

Various friends of Crispy, like Psycho Sword Lady-san, Alatril-san, and Anime-Freak 713-san: GAAAA! KILL HOUJI! KILL, KILL!

Houji: Damn.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Sojiro, Kenshin, Sano, Aoshi: Do you like, have a problem with our first names!
Houji: (much bloodied up and worse for the ware, and clad in almost as many bandages as Shishio-sama himself) Q! Q! Q, q, q, q, Q, Q, Q! Q!

Sojiro: …Houji-san has gone off the deep end of the pastry pool… either that, or he's learning how to type.

Kenshin: Oro…?
Sano: That (Bleeeeeeeeep).

Aoshi: …………

Crispy: Much as I would find joining in the insanity amusing, I have one more thing to show you guys—lately, I've been playing this awesome gameboy game called Golden Sun, and, wouldn't you know it, I named everybody after Rurouni Kenshin characters. Insanity and a bunch of hilarious quotes ensued. Quotes like, "Sojiro got a cocktail dress!" became surprisingly common, and I have some of the best and worst of them here: (I've altered the names back into their normal format, I had to "shorten" a few in the game to make them fit… (grumblegrumble)… Sojir and Shish… bad, bad…)

"Little Anji has fallen in the river!" –Kamatari

"Evil NEVER prevails!" –Shishio

"Shishio? Is it really you? You've grown so tan…" –Random person claiming to have known Shishio in his youth

"That Shishio seems to be a smart boy… I wish you could be more like Shishio, Chou." –Chou's "grandma."

"Megumi is such a nice girl. I wonder who Chou likes better, Megumi or Kamatari." –Chou's "grandpa."

(To Sojiro) "I hope you didn't get sick during your travels… Chou always eats too much… He always makes his mother worry." –Chou's "mom"

"Sojiro…" (smiles) –Sojiro's "mom"

"Sojiro got a cocktail dress. Sojiro gave the cocktail dress to Shishio." –random item collect

"Someone's in trouble! It's only natural that he needs our help!" –Shishio

"We have to save Kamatari!" –Chou

"Sojiro got Quick Boots!"! –Random item collect

"I won't permit you to lay a hand on Yumi!" –Shishio

"So… you believe that after all that, Yumi was strong enough to survive?" -Shishio

Crispy: OK, so a bunch of random geeky crap… Gomen… once more… (staying away from the "again" rhyme in case Usui is lurking nearby…

Usui: LURK……………………….LURK!

Crispy: You…. are really…. really…REALLY…. freaking me out.

Usui: n.n

Crispy: Oro…

-Till later... I guess... Crispy-san