Attention: Ante Mortem is going to written a little differently, this time. From now on, until further notice, I'm writing from the main character's point
of view. That means whatever he sees and experiences, I'll be writing in his words. One more thing.
Words written in bold italics, like this, are song lyrics and words written in plain italics, like this, are his thoughts.
More author drabbles are at the bottom of the page! Enjoy!
Ante Mortem
Chapter 2: Mistaken
Waking up to another day,
I close my eyes again,
When life goes in its perfect way,
I just keep walking along,
The walls were large and towering. The gilded arch that decorated the vast hallways was about four heads taller than any person in the place, let alone me. The rooms were from palaces, straight out of a fairytale.
People had always wondered if this place had fallen from the clouds and once graced the presence of angels, minstrels, messengers and even the Chief of Heaven himself.
Never believed in four-leaved clovers,
Bad luck, good luck's,
All the same to me,
Wake up to the reality,
Warm skin pressed against cold marble, my breath came up in spiralling white mist. My eyes flew open and I saw the lean, thin frame bend over my crouched form.
A single ray of light broke behind the figure's form; its silhouette sharply defined by the dying crimson sun behind him.
Life keeps knocking me down,
You push me back up,
Tellin' me this is,
One more crazy dream,
The dying roar of the battleships echoed in the distance, almost in time with the footfalls of the mysterious stranger, as he walked ever closer to me. The silence was deafening, so much so that the rustling fabric of his clothes startled me.
I crouched farther into the wall, powerless and weak, feeling the adrenaline rush leave me. What little strength I had was gone, replaced with a kind of hopeless longing, and a stab of ice-cold fear that pounded in my blood.
One cold hand touched my face, travelling down the length of my chin. A mocking, perverted version of a loving caress. My heartbeat pounded loudly in my ears, and I had to strain my ears to catch the soft voice hovering over my head.
Tell me how,
You can still keep moving on,
Keep getting knocked down,
Tell me why,
You keep trying so hard,
Saving someone,
Who won't save himself,
"You can't hate me. You never will."
Listening to that chilly tone in the voice felt so...wrong. It finally made me break through my frozen state and I looked defiantly into those eyes that I feared to see for so long...
And felt my consciousness return with an abrupt bang.
"Gah!" I choked out, my eyes flying open.
A brown-haired boy crouched by the glass-panelled walls, cradling a guitar in both his arms. His gaze met mine, his face wrenched in pain, emerald eyes filled with despair. Dark circles indicated that he may not have slept in a long time and his face held a gaunt, starved look that indicated that he hadn't eaten much either.
He looked so utterly finished. And the most unsettling thing about his appearance was that boy was...me.
I finally unclenched my fingers from my guitar and shifted from my cross-legged position on the bed, groaning at the stabs of pain in my frozen limbs. I rubbed my eyes wearily and looked past my reflection outside, noting the lightening dark sky outside bemusedly.
It's morning again...my third day since I lost my memories and found myself here. And, I'm still as confused as ever.
I remembered the two bishops I had met when I just woke up, trying to make sense of their behaviour. They had plenty of grounds to turn me away from the church once I had woken up, or maybe not bring me here at all, but left me to die in the desert alone.
Instead, they gave me a room to rest and recover in, talked to me when I had woken up. They asked for my side of the story, and...actually seemed to believe it.
Nothing at all suspicious in their behaviour...and they had the perfect alibi; they did work in a church after all.
But, no matter how much I tried to believe that they were truly trying to help me and were genuinely kind to me...I wasn't able to accept it. I was still wary of their intentions and refused to touch any of the food they sent up for me.
I looked at the growing pile of silver dishes and felt my gut twist in an unease that didn't belong to hunger. "Tch." I muttered, turning away. Again, I saw the reflection in the glass panes, and frowned as I noticed the gauntness in the figure again.
Well, since I feel much better today...I can try going outside and finding them. After, I added, as a growl from my bowel regions distracted me temporarily, I get something to eat. And...maybe a shower too.
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"Not again." I muttered.
I walked down the winding corridors, sighing with frustration when I recognized the view from the open side; a towering fountain spouting out water in graceful arcs. It was situated on a platform, surrounded by narrow marble platforms floating on top of deep water.
I've come here so many times, I've memorized the pattern of the floating platforms around the fountain in my head.
I trudged down the corridor again, taking a left...and a right...left again...right...right again...and wound up in the same spot. It was all I could do not to bang my head against the walls.
At this rate, I'll never get anywhere. Now what?
Sudden footsteps down the corridor startled me, and looking up I saw someone walking towards where I stood.
Common sense told me to stay there and ask directions to the banquet hall. Instinct, however, screamed at me to hide and let him pass by. I took my chances with a couple of bishops and nuns, but I wasn't ready to meet another stranger. Not yet.
So, I hid behind a pillar and waited.
The person stomped right by me; a boy who looked like he was in his late teens with long, blonde hair in a ponytail. "I hope they haven't eaten all the bagels again..." He muttered grumpily.
He's going to the banquet hall too? I started following him quietly. If he knew his way around, I'd be much better off if I went where he was going. From pillar to pillar, I slunk behind him, while his mumbling grew softer and softer, until he was finally silent.
Looks like I'm not the only one with issues. I thought, noting his troubled expression. Finally, he reached an enormous entrance, its double doors flung wide open.
There were hundreds upon hundreds of benches and seated on them were men in long, flowing white robes-bishop robes, I realized with a start, recognizing them from the ones Castor-san and Labrador-san wore-and nuns, talking to each other and eating. The delicious smell of baked bread and fruit jam wafted to my nose, and I raised a hand to my mouth to check whether I was actually drooling or not.
"Hakuren!" The shout startled both of us and I saw a ash-haired boy headed for the one I was stalking...uh, following. "Ouida." Hakuren nodded, "Have you and Liam decided to attend the exam, then?"
"Hakuren, even in the short amount of time we met, you might've noticed my little brother's...dedication to whatever he decides on. Of course, Liam joined the exam with me."
"Ouida, there is a difference between 'dedication' and 'tenacity'."
Ouida grinned at him, "So, you mind coming with me to the library after lunch? I have to look up the writings of the 33rd volume of the Bible. Your companion can come too."
"Companion?" Hakuren swivelled around and saw...a wide gap between the two marble pillars.
"Eh? Where did he go?" Ouida asked, confused. "There was someone standing by the pillar, watching you intently. I assumed that he was accompanying you to the hall..."
That was close. I almost let loose a sigh of relief, before clamping my mouth shut hurriedly. I quietly moved out from behind the wide open double doors and walked down the tables. There were so many people, but somehow, the sheer vastness of the room made it seem less crowded. I felt slightly uneasy as I wandered downwards, looking for an empty spot to eat in.
I was so busy trying to blend in with the crowds, I almost didn't recognize three black-robed figures, giggling away merrily and clinking their glasses together.
"Sisters?" The word flew from my mouth, before I could stop myself. Even though my voice was too quiet and hoarse from not being used regularly, they still looked up and saw me.
"Oh!" Sister Athena's eyes widened, "It's the lost lamb that hath been guided to us by Heaven! Good morning!"
"Are you feeling better?" Sister Rosalie asked.
"We were quite worried when you wouldn't eat anything we sent up." Sister Libelle looked at me in concern.
"G-good morning." I mumbled, "I...um, I was just looking for a place to eat."
"There's one right here. Come and sit down! We have to make sure you eat properly to heal." Sister Rosalie drew up a chair next to her. "Y-yes, ma'am." I gulped, sitting down hurriedly and buttering a piece of toast.
"How do you feel today?" Sister Libelle asked, as she blew on a spoonful of hot soup. I paused, freezing mid-bite. Swallowing, I said, "Um. My head feels much better and...I'm able to move around."
"No, I mean...how do you feel?" She asked, gently. "I don't know." I said truthfully, fidgeting under her gaze, "I mean...it's very...disorienting."
And damn confusing. Where the hell can I go from here? And what kind of person will I be when my memories return? I refused to acknowledge the fact that they may never return. Apparently, one of the characteristics of the 'old' me was that I was pretty tenacious myself.
"Ah! Good morning there." A soft voice interrupted my musing and I looked up to see an approaching figure cloaked in bishop robes. "Labrador-san. Good morning." I greeted him.
"You look much better today." He said, with that all-too-familiar smile on his face, "I guess you won't be needing this then." He indicated the silver platter in his hands, which I suddenly realized was for me.
"I...I'm sorry."
"Don't be." Labrador kindly admonished, "Castor will be quite glad to know you're up and about. In his usual way, he was pretty worried about you too."
"Speaking of which, where is Castor-san?" I asked, looking around for the tall redhead.
"He's downstairs in his room, busy working." Labrador's smile was replaced by a worried frown, "He said he needed more time to finish his project, so he'd skip breakfast today."
"Um...I can take that platter to Castor-san." Again, the words came out of my mouth of their own accord. I resisted the urge to smack myself on the forehead and instead, looked at the lightly-shaded violet eyes beyond the bishop's veil, "It wouldn't be right for him to miss breakfast anyway...and I really want to thank him properly."
Labrador kept silent for sometime, returning my stare. Then, he smiled again. "Go ahead. Here's a map of the church." He knelt down so that his eye level was with mine, "Here. The cross is where your room is, the red circle is where Castor's room is. And mine...well, I sleep in the room closest to the gardens. Here." He pointed to a green star.
"Thank you." I stood up and nodded to the nuns there, "Thank you very much."
"I'll make sure to save something for you. You need to keep your strength up." Sister Athena said. I got up and balancing the map on top of the platter, walked slowly out of the hall.
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"Eastern wing...room 3546. A few feet from the sanctuary room..." I muttered the instructions under my breath, hoping that I wouldn't have to glance at the map every five seconds. Unsurprisingly, I failed. Miserably. All the corridors were exactly the same, it was a mere miracle I managed to follow that person...Hakuren, I think his name was...to the hall in the first place.
And speaking of Hakuren...I looked up and saw him standing in the way with his back turned to me. He was panting and he seemed highly agitated about something, completely unaware that I was standing behind him.
"Excuse me..." I said, approaching him.
His head snapped up and he looked directly at me. His breathing came out ragged, like he was afraid of something. The minute I took a step closer, he turned and dashed away.
Eh? What happened to him?
I just shrugged it off and continued on my way. After all, it was hardly my problem, whatever issue he was facing.
Things got strange though, when I took the fork in the pathway that approached the large sanctuary. I shifted the major portion of the dishes on my left hand; they were still hot from being freshly cooked. I was too busy trying to balance them to notice a figure blocking my path.
And without any warning, I crashed into Hakuren. Again.
He just took one look at me, went all white and muttered something under his breath.
"Hey, you ok?" I asked, a bit unnerved.
He just continued looking at me, then spun on his heel, straightened his back and dashed away like the blood-hounds of hell were after him. I stared after him, feeling my face frown in confusion.
"...This routine is starting to get a bit old." I muttered to myself, wondering what was causing his strange behaviour.
Finally, I managed to reach Castor's room. Putting the platters down on the floor, I knocked once on the door and waited. Waited. Waited. I knocked again, twice in quick succession.
Still, no answer.
Perhaps, he's out. "I'm coming in!" I announced, opening it.
The room was simply furnished as was the one I was staying in...bed, mirror, dresser, cupboard and desk. But there was one slight difference...no, a big difference. The floor of the room opened out to form a wide circular pool, that covered the centre. The water was a clear topaz blue; deep and calm, the exact same colour as the water surrounding the fountain outside.
I walked towards the desk-avoiding the pool's edges-and set the platter on an empty space This done, I sat by the pool, waiting for Castor to come back to thank him for his kindness. Maybe he could answer my questions as to why they kept me here.
Time passed by and Castor still didn't return. My eyes wandered away from the door and rested on the pool instead. I crouched on the edge and looked beyond the reflection of the room, seeing the brown-haired teen; my own reflection staring back at me. His eyes were wide and wary, silently asking me what I was going to do now.
It was all so frustrating, I looked away irritably and tried pulling myself up into a sitting position. While I floundered about, my hand accidentally brushed the surface of the cool water and a distant resonating chime echoed in the room.
With a start, I pulled my hand back and looked at the pool in fright. Tentatively, I stroked the water's surface again with my finger and again the resonating tone echoed from the water.
I added my other hand and made rotating motions on the water, a shocked breath of air mixing with the plaintive tones of the water.
Amazing...The tunes became more sweet and sorrowful as they came out of my fingertips. The music floated out of the doorway and echoed in the hall.
The pool had transformed from a calm, clear mirror into a muddled chaos of ripples, bouncing against the hard surface with a trembling tenor. I lost myself in the tunes, as they became less random. Like corpses revived, they regained life and vitality through melody, as my hands moved against the water, settling into the tune of the song that haunted my consciousness.
A flash of colour caught my eye and I stopped to see...a girl with bubblegum-pink hair smile at me from under the water.
...Huh?
"Geh!" I hurriedly scurried away from the edge as the girl surfaced, head cocking to one side and smiling shyly at me. "I-I'm sorry! Were you there the whole time? I-I...am I in the right room?" I stuttered, continuing backward until I felt my head hit the wall with a bang.
The girl continued to smile at me, skimming the surface of the water with her hands. She looked at me again and made a beckoning motion. "You want me to play?" I asked, confused. She nodded her head, and her breath came out in sweet, tinkling laughter.
I sat against the wall, trying to comprehend the sudden-and very unexpected-situation, while she waited for me to come. She flopped against a rock, exasperated and was opening her mouth when she stiffened suddenly and cocked her head to the doorway.
Before I could say anything else, she turned to me, waved hurriedly and disappeared into the pool's depths again. I stared after her like an idiot, blinking slowly at the water, like I was awakening from a bad dream, when the door opened.
"Ah, Castor-san, I-" I turned to the doorway and nearly gagged when I saw a pair of amethyst-violet eyes stare back at me, wide with horror. Hakuren gaped at me for a moment, before shaking his head and pointing a finger at me.
"Ok, seriously. What the hell is your issue?" He demanded.
"Huh?" I asked.
"I'm asking you what you want from me. This...thing...this whole...it's creepy and it's putting me off my studying schedule."
"Huh?" I repeated brilliantly.
"Don't play dumb, Ouida saw you follow me!"
"Ah, well. About that-"
"Do you do this for a living? Is that why you came here?" Hakuren cut me off, like I hadn't even spoken. "Do you do this to the Sisters, too?" His face suddenly widened in horror and he glared at me even more fiercely, "Explain yourself!"
"I would." I replied, getting a little tired of his chatting, "But that's kinda hard to do when people start rambling on and on, getting the wrong idea about me."
"Who wouldn't with the way you've been skulking around?"
"I haven't been skulking around! I keep getting lost in this damned complicated church!"
"Please. Anyone who isn't mentally impaired can..." He trailed off, considered me for a moment, "...never mind."
Ok, that is it. I was sick and tired of being lost and confused and irritated to the core, and God forbid if I have to expend my frustration on a random stranger, even if he was so goddamn pompous and kept jumping to conclusions.
But since I was already going to hell...
"What was that, you long-haired, fox-faced...?" I sputtered, glaring at him angrily.
"What did you say, you little chibi...?"
"You heard me!" I huffed, taking a step towards him. In that split second, I felt a wave of exhaustion crash over me in one fell swoop. Gripping the wall harder, I continued to look up at him. "Look." I said, somewhat more calmly, "Will you stop shooting your mouth at me so I can explain? I'm here looking for Castor-san. I need to ask him something."
"Then just tell me already. I'm all ears."
I turned to see the redhead grin at me from the doorway. "Castor-san! H-how long have you been standing there?" I asked, bewildered. "For about ten seconds. That means I was here when you two started banging chests with each other." His tone remained light, but there was a deliberate coolness in his eyes that made me feel slightly uncomfortable. "It would do you good to remember that this is the House of God. You shouldn't fight here."
"Sorry." We muttered, glaring at each other from the corners of our eyes.
"Now. Hakuren-kun, I believe that you came here looking for this." The bishop procured the file from nowhere and held it to the boy, whose eyes lit up. "Ah, yes! Thank you so much!" Hakuren accepted the file, looking relieved. With a bow, he stepped out.
"Um, Castor-san..."
"Labrador told me. You came looking for me for more than just thanks, didn't you?" At my silence, the man sat down on the bed, hands clasped together on his lap.
"I want to know why you did this. I mean, you already explained to me," I added hastily as I noticed his frown, "But I really want to know what you expect of me. I want to know...if you truly...trust me.
"I would be lying if I said that I did."
I flinched at the grave tone in Castor's eyes and looked up to see chocolate brown hues boring into my own.
"Your presence here is a question of choices to be made. According to you, you have absolutely no memory of your past, which leaves a big question mark as to who you are, what you do, where you come from. And that gives many people innumerable number of ways to manipulate you, control you and use you for their own ends. Our duty is to protect the weak from evil and corruption and this place is the only true sanctuary in the land."
"And how do I know that you're not taking advantage of me?" I asked, feeling an unusual restlessness stir in me.
"That is for God and for you to decide." He replied, looking back at me. I saw that his sharp gaze had been softened by shreds of kindness, "But for right now, the best thing to do is let you heal. You've been through a terrible ordeal and trust or not, your health is the first priority here."
I just remained mute, staring at the stone wall, pondering what he said. So they weren't forcing me to stay here, then...
"Oh, and I suggest you go back to your room now. The good Sisters will be after my blood if you fainted out in the hallway, because I kept you here for too long." Castor suggested, grinning faintly at me. I gulped. "Funnily enough, it's not too hard for me to imagine." The man chuckled and said, "Go on. I'll see you in the evening."
I bowed and walked out, feeling the heat of the sun on my back as I trudged back through the marble corridors. I stared straight at the hot sun, feeling the heat sear my eyelids. Yet, I refused to look away.
That is for you and God to decide. That was what Castor said.
If you're really up there, I thought, Then please tell me...is something bad going to happen now? To me? To them? What will happen to me once I'm healed and ready to make my own choices?
As I stared into the bright light, I felt a ripple of cold run through my body, accompanied by a strange, prickling sensation.
Someone's watching me.
I looked back and saw...nothing.
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Normal POV:
The boy's emerald gaze locked on the empty corridor for one second, before wrenching it away and sighing. "Next thing I know, I'll be afraid of my own shadow." He muttered, walking away.
No sooner had he turned the corner did a shapeless shadow manifest in the air, making strange, bubbling sounds. The shadow writhed and twisted, forming a recognizable shape; one of a human.
The face of the shadow raised its head and grinned at the empty corridor.
"Got ya."
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Oh, yeah! I love me some character intros, especially the mega-awkward ones! Hakuren and the MC's intros were hilarious in the manga so I decided to do a similar version in my fic! Hope you like it!
Due note: I do not own 07-ghost and never will...
Again, I remind you that Midnight Snow is on hiatus...sorry!
Watch out for the next chapter: Beckoned.
May God be with you!
