You ever wonder why most seme characters are bisexual? . . . . Me neither. _ Anyway, I'm still trying to portray the realism of Grimmjow trying to identify his sexuality. It's actually kinda difficult . . . . anyway, case you are a little confused, Grimm's story will overlap Nel's, which will then overlap Ichigo's throughout this fic.
Dark Moon Rising: Through Their Eyes by Boogermeister
Chapter 3- Pantera's Feelings
A headache throbbed in Grimmjow's head as he glared down at the test paper. He didn't get how x is greater than 50. "Fuck . . . ." he grumbled under his breath, scribbling down a guessed answer before moving to the last of the questions. He then peeked a glanced at Ulquiorra, who was quietly writing, and frowned a little. After that seemingly embarrassed talk about his dream nearly two weeks back, Ulquiorra barely batted an eye at it and dismissed it like that. He had actually expected him to feel at least shocked about it, but not that.
"Time's up, send your papers forward to the front desks please," announced the teacher, earning a few grumbles and sounds of paper moving about. Grimmjow sighed tiredly and sat back as he scratched at his nose. The reaction from Ulquiorra was truly unexpected but he himself wasn't sure what to say to that.
". . . . Did you think that the exam was hard, Grimmjow?" muttered Ulquiorra as he glanced at him.
"Not really, but I find it annoying that we have to have tests," Grimmjow scoffed lightly before plopping his elbows onto his desks.
"This is our last year of middle school, we should focus on our goal of getting into the high school we choose," he replied. "So the tests we're taking are very crucial at this time."
"Ah, but I don't care much about that," he grumbled. "I already got good grades, I don't need to be a honor student all the times."
"Then . . . . do you have any idea of which school you wish to go to?"
"Dunno," Grimmjow shrugged. "I could go to the same school as my cousins, since I don't know any other good schools. What's it called . . . . Las Noches High School." Ulquiorra blinked at that and sighed lightly.
"Interesting, I was just thinking about going there myself," he muttered. "It's a very good school . . . ."
"Huh, good to know," the other teen nodded. "Guess we could stay friends after middle school then."
"Would you prefer that, Grimmjow?" Grimmjow glanced at him and blinked, does he really wish for that? "Unless . . . . you're still apprehensive due to that dream incident?"
"W-wait, what?" Grimmjow muttered in surprise with his eyes widened. "Whoa, I wasn't even thinking about that . . . .!"
"Sorry about that, I didn't mean to mention it," sighed Ulquiorra.
". . . . Y-yeah, it's not worth mentioning," muttered Grimmjow, shaking his head.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""'
Sweet Hell, why did Ulquiorra mentioned that bizarre dream? Like before, he was this close to get kissed by the other teen once again. This time by the school, when they were waiting behind the building. Also in the dream, he was more than eager to get touched by him. "Fuck . . . . fuck . . . . fuck . . . .!" he grumbled in confusion as he quickly sat up his bed. "What's wrong with me-"
He suddenly glanced down to see his erection and he flinched in shock. Again, and from a seemingly homosexual dream? He didn't get it, why was he feeling this way? "Fucking bullshit . . . .!" he scoffed.
"No cursing out before 10 AM, Grimmjow . . . .!" his father scolded when he passed by the closed door. Grimmjow scoffed again before flopping back onto the mattress. He tried to cover himself with the bedsheets, but it was pointless. Why was he having this type of dream, and with Ulquiorra for that matter? Does that mean he . . . .?
"Tch, that can't be it . . . .!" he scowled as he shook his head before finally getting out of his bed and left his room.
Later . . . .
Grimmjow saw Ulquiorra walking slowly towards the school building and frowned a little. He wasn't sure if he could tell him or not, but there was a chance that his friend would simply dismiss it like before. "Damn . . . ." he sighed heavily before mentally deciding to go up to him. "Uh, hey Ulquiorra . . . ." he mumbled in greeting.
". . . . Good morning," sighed Ulquiorra.
"Um, well . . . ." he muttered.
"Is there something the matter once again?" he asked quietly. Grimmjow clenched his teeth a little and exhaled deeply, scratching through his long hair.
"What makes you say that, Ulquiorra?" he grumbled.
"It's like before, right? Of what you've told me last time?" the other teen muttered, and Grimmjow flinched slightly at that.
". . . . Why do you ask about it like it's nothing?" he frowned.
"Because I think nothing of it," Ulquiorra muttered plainly.
"That doesn't make any sense," he scoffed in slight annoyance. "I mean, in the dream you . . . . kissed me. Twice. And yet, it's just nothing to you."
"What do you want me to say . . . .?" he asked as he immediately stopped walking. "That I'm deeply disturbed by your unusual dreams about me . . . .?"
"At least that would've been something," frowned Grimmjow. "I mean, I dunno what to feel about this. I'm a guy, and I like girls. I can't have this . . . . weird feeling like this."
"What sort of weird feeling? That you might like a guy?" he questioned. Grimmjow blinked and stared at him hard but in disbelief, as he took a step back.
"What about you, Ulquiorra?" he frowned. "Do you like guys or girls?"
"I prefer those I can tolerate to," Ulquiorra replied quietly and the blunet just blinked.
"The fuck does that mean?" he scoffed lightly.
"Either one, I just prefer . . . ." he muttered.
"So . . . . you're gay yet not gay?"
"You're so close, Grimmjow . . . . I'm what people called bisexual," muttered the pale teen as they resumed walking into the school, the bell was close to ringing to start the day. "But I don't really define myself that, it's complicated."
"How's that complicated . . . .?" Grimmjow frowned in confusion. "You like both guys and girls."
"You're not getting it, I simply said that I prefer those who I can tolerate." They reached their classroom and sat to the back as usual. Grimmjow just sighed in agitation and plopped his bag onto the desk.
"I am really not getting it now . . . ." he groaned, the confusion threatened to throb in his head.
"And I doubt that you're bisexual or homosexual either, Grimmjow," muttered Ulquiorra when he glanced at him. "You merely have a couple of dreams about kissing a male, so it's not that big of a deal."
"Actually . . . ." he muttered quietly but the teacher was already talking and he frowned a little. ". . . . I'll tell you later. It's not that important."
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Grimmjow sighed tiredly as he was giving Nel a piggyback ride to the library. The girl was nearly ten and yet she hated to walk sometimes. "You're getting heavy . . . . think you're getting more like Fat Hector," he scoffed.
"I'm not fat, Grimmie," she pouted. "At least I don't look like Repunzel."
"Shut up . . . ." he sighed. "Why do you wanna go to the library with me, Nel?"
"I wanna some books, duh!" she childishly retorted. Grimmjow rolled his eyes and sighed as they finally reached the building. Cracking his back, he let his young cousin get off him.
"Stay in the kids' section, I'll be on the other side if you need me," he muttered.
"Fine," she sighed as she trotted off. Grimmjow then went to the other side of the library, past the teen section, to browse through certain shelves.
"Where is it . . . .?" he muttered quietly as he glanced at books that suggested dreaming. It didn't take long before he found a couple, about dream interpretations. He then sat down by one of the tables and opened the first one. "Let's see . . . . about kissing . . . . kissing . . . ." He flipped through the pages heavily before slowing down by the 'K' section. "Kissing . . . . ah, here it is."
'Kiss- to dream of a kiss, denotes love, affection, tranquility, harmony, contentment . . . . . If the dream ends just about as you are about to kiss someone, then it indicates that you are unsure of how he or she really feels about you. You are looking for some sort of relationship with this person but you are not sure about how to go about achieving it. If you are heterosexual and you dream that you are kissing someone of the same sex, then it represents self-acceptance. You are acknowledging the feminine or masculine side . . . .'
Grimmjow blinked. Kissing a guy meant self-acceptance, as in accepting being gay? "No, that couldn't be it . . . ." he muttered under his breath, he still liked girls and he had only the dreams involving Ulquiorra and no one else. To the teenager, it was still confusing. Can he still be straight when he seemingly likes one guy? He glanced at the page once again, the section about kissing covered over two pages but he didn't care about the rest of it now.
"Grimmjow . . . ." Nel whispered when she found him and he looked up. "What're you reading, Grimmie?"
"About what dreams mean in real life," he sighed, pulling her onto his lap. "What did you dream about last night, Nel?"
"Uhh . . . . oh, I was eating pancakes," she replied. "It tasted really yummy." Grimmjow shrugged and flipped the pages to 'P'.
". . . . It means that you're happy with what you got in life," he muttered.
"That must be true, I do feel happy!" she smiled. Grimmjow smirked back, but his situation was more difficult than expected. He didn't think that he is what Ulquiorra is, since the pale teen doesn't know what exact sexuality he has. "You're finish reading? Because I want you to borrow these books for me," smiled Nel, holding up a few books.
"Tch, don't lose them like last time," he sighed. "Last time, I had to pay the fines because you couldn't find the books for over three weeks."
"It wasn't my fault, Mommy moved them from my bed when she was cleaning my room," she pouted a little.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
"Mom, you know I got that one friend, right?" Grimmjow muttered over dinner.
"Yes, what about your friend, Kitty?" smirked his mother, and he frowned at his nickname.
"Well, last week . . . . he told me something that made me confused," he sighed. "I like having him as a friend, so I don't think his way of thinking would affect our friendship."
"What's wrong with him? He's into those weird role-playing games that involves being in public?" grumbled Friedrich.
"You mean 'LARPing'? Don't think so . . . ." he muttered then frowned a little. "One time, we were talking on your way to school and he . . . . well, said that he likes girls and guys . . . ." His father paused in his eating and glanced at him.
"And is there a problem with that, Grimmjow?" he mumbled.
"Not really, to be honest but . . . . he then said that he's not exactly what people called bisexual or whatever," he frowned. "He said that he would rather be with anyone who he can tolerate."
". . . . Well, that's something," muttered Isabelle with a soft sigh. "So you're really okay with the way how your friend live his life?"
"Yeah, he's a cool guy," Grimmjow shrugged, picking at his meal a little.
"As long as he's not weird-looking, then I'm okay with it too," Friedrich shrugged as well.
"Actually . . . . he often doesn't blink much. Does that count of being weird . . . .?"
"Sorry . . . . didn't mean to mention about you not blinking like normal people," Grimmjow shrugged sheepishly when he explained to Ulquiorra the next week. "To be honest, I thought my Dad would spazz out about it. Since he's from the American military, with their rules of keeping those who are 'different' silence."
"But you didn't explain your dreams to them, Grimmjow?" Ulquiorra muttered, and the other teen instantly frowned at that.
"It's still confusing to me . . . . and I forgot to tell you what I meant to tell you last week," he mumbled.
"What is it?"
"Actually those two dreams . . . . when I woke from them, I noticed that I would have a boner," he muttered, glancing away from embarrassment. But Ulquiorra simply gazed at him.
"So . . . .?" he muttered.
"So?" Grimmjow frowned as he glanced back at him. "You just shrugged it off? I'm still confused about it, I'm getting boners about you and you act like it's natural."
"Well it is for me," muttered Ulquiorra.
"What? You don't get boners from looking at someone?" he scoffed.
"I do have arousal-like feelings, but it's becoming more frequent lately," he replied, and Grimmjow flinched at that before staring at him.
". . . . So it's sorta true?" he muttered. "When you say that you'd like to be with one that you can tolerate?"
"I'm not saying that I like you on the romantic level . . . ."
"Then please don't," grimaced Grimmjow as he glanced away again.
"Hear me out, Grimmjow . . . ." he said quietly. "Based on what you are experiencing lately, it might mean that-"
"I know, I know . . . .!" he scoffed, catching a few classmates' attentions. "What're you looking at?" Flinching in fear, they turned back around as he sighed tiredly. "This past weekend . . . . I looked at a book that talked about dreams. And well . . . . based on what I've dreamt about, it said that I must accept what I'm feeling and with said person."
". . . . Subconsciously, you wish to be with me," Ulquiorra promptly concluded. "We've only knew each other for two months, but I understand."
"But I don't . . . ." he grumbled, scratching through his hair. "If that's true, then what would my family think about it? 'Our son still likes girls but he's dating this one guy', that's a good conversation."
"But your parents are okay with my way of life."
"That's because you're not their son," he frowned. "I dunno . . . . not sure if my Dad would appreciate it, that war-headed idiot."
"Then what are you gonna do about it, Grimmjow . . . .?" questioned his friend. Grimmjow glanced at him and shrugged lightly, crossing his arms.
"Meh, I'll give this feeling a try."
A year later . . . .
Nel grumbled when her parents comically complained about their oldest sons going off to college, crying that their little girl was next. But she could care less, there was still eight long years left anyway. "Mommy, I'm not even in middle school so I don't care for now," she whined during breakfast. "And Don and Pesche are only gone for three months, they'll come back for Christmas."
"Aw, why can't they choose a school here?" Veronica sighed sadly. "I'd like that so much, but it's their decision as adults . . . ." At that, she whined a little as more tears fell down. She barely heard the door being opened and Grimmjow stepped in, the high school freshman steadily gained fifteen to twenty pounds of muscles much to the family's suprise. Guess fighting and playing with his father's old weight equiments paid off.
"Veronica, you're still crying?" he frowned lightly when he entered the kitchen. "Geez, you're making everybody sad. It's not like they're dead . . . ."
"Oh, you wouldn't know how it feels to lose a child or two, Grimmie," she snifled. "One day, your parents are gonna cry when you leave the nest."
"I doubt it, Old Man said straight to my face that he and Mom wanted to have 'lots of time' once I'm gone," he scoffed. "Hey, let's go Nel. I can't wait here to take you to school, I'll get late."
"Fine," sighed Nel. They finally left the apartment building and he took his little to her school, the girl finally relented to walk on her own now that she was getting older. "Bye, Grimmie, I'll see you later," she smiled as she trotted off.
"See ya," sighed Grimmjow as he walked off, his long hair swayed from the cooling wind. He shivered lightly, even with the thick jacket. The Las Noches High School was a good school; it was average on the academic level though many are grade-A students. Even him, despite of his rude-like demeanor and his recurring habit of getting into fights. He, to everybody's eyes, was a nerd and a bully mushed into one body. ". . . . Oh," he sighed as he saw the only guy that was sticking out in the crowd by the school entrance.
"Yo, Ulquiorra . . . .!" he called out, moving fluidly through the students despite his new frame. "Ulquiorra, you didn't hear me calling you?" he scoffed, nudging at the shorter teen who didn't acknowledge him at first. Finally, Ulquiorra gave him a silent glare and frowned lightly as they moved through the hallways.
"What is it, Grimmjow . . . .?" he sighed.
"Gahh, don't be like that," he smirked. "Only the weekend had passed, so why you're acting like a sourpuss?"
"No apparent reason, I just feel like it anyway," he muttered.
"Tch, don't get your fucking panties in a bunch," scoffed Grimmjow with a smirk then his mouth faltered into a light frown. "Anyway . . . . you got that book you were talking about, right?"
"Don't worry about it, Grimmjow . . . . We'll figure it out later during lunch," Ulquiorra sighed lightly. Grimmjow nodded; for almost a year, he was still conflicted about his feelings, especially at his only friend. He wasn't sure what he was exactly.
""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""'
"'Bi-curious: a term referring to someone who does not identify themselves as bisexual or homosexual but feels or show some curiousity in a relationship or sexual activity with someone of the same sex, and to refer to someone who generally identifies as homosexual but feels or shows some interest in having relationship with someone of the opposite sex . . . . .'" Grimmjow frowned and just blinked, so that was it all that time.
"I'm not that curious to explore it," he frowned a little, when they were sitting on the school rooftop, away from the other cliques.
"But it seems that it implies you, there are no other explanation for you," muttered Ulquiorra. "You'd be surprise how difficult it was to require this type of book. The bookstore owner was perplexed at me buying something that was about sexuality at my age."
"Well, duh . . . ." scoffed Grimmjow.
"Anyway . . . . you have to be bi-curious since you have little or no sexual experience, that's what it said here," he muttered quietly as he gazed at the pages.
"Yeah, say that shit out loud," he grumbled. ". . . . So what now?"
"It's simple, we date." Grimmjow immediately stiffened at that and stared at his friend with shocked eyes. Again with nonchalant replies, and it had never ceased to amaze him.
"Wh-what . . . .?" he gasped sharply.
"You've told me about your dreams so many times, and it always involves me," Ulquiorra stated. "Think about it, you might have feelings about me, and you have confirmed that yourself."
". . . . What about you, Ulquiorra?" Grimmjow questioned as he gazed hard at him. "Do you have feelings for me also?"
". . . . What do you think?" he questioned back, blinking at him. The other teen just stared at him, stupidity just whacked him on the head for missing the hindsight those months ago. He had said that he likes those who can tolerate him.
"Oh," he sighed. "Fine, I'll try . . . ."
"It's not that serious, there's a possible chance that you'll become a bisexual," he muttered. "You still like girls regardless."
"Tch, oh joy."
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
When reading, I'd like to see more reviews. Not because I'm being selfish about it, just that so many people favored this fic but would never leave a review. Just concerned about it, that's all, I'd like to know about your thoughts about it.
Read and review.
I'll update ASAP!
