There is so much of this story written, I just need to stop being so lazy and start putting it on. I am working on rereading it all.
Scars That Don't Fade By Cee and Shadow
Chapter Three-Apathy
The train was late.
From his side someone shouted. Harry looked down the tracks and then over at the person to his side. Ron looked mad about something, but Harry had a feeling that it wasn't the train. Ron didn't exactly care if he was a little bit late to school.
Harry could hear people all around him. The rest of his classmates didn't seem to mind so much either. But he could see as much as hear the worry on their parents faces. "What's going on Arthur?" Mrs. Weasley asked from behind Harry. She had tried to whisper it, to keep her own kids from worrying, but Harry still cringed.
He wasn't sure why it was, but her voice was just so annoying nowadays. He hadn't even stayed with the Weasleys for more then a week. He had spent the entire time wanting nothing more then to be at school already. Be at home. Once he was there, things would be better.
He could remember when Molly's voice had been calming to him, reassuring. She was the closest thing to a mom he would ever have…
"I'm not sure, Molly, but don't worry about it." Arthur said nodding his head and smiling reassuringly.
Harry narrowed his eyes and took a small step sideways, away from the Weasley's and Hermione, who was going nuts with the idea of being late to school. He took the time, something he had too much of all summer, to take a look around. He scanned the huge crowd trying to track down his friends from last year. He smiled at the people who caught his eye, and frowned at the people who didn't notice him. He couldn't help but notice how many students were missing. He assumed that at least half of the Slytherins weren't coming back to school, and it seemed like a majority of his house and the other houses were missing as well. He shook his head slightly and rescanned the area.
He frowned a little as he started to look for the person he looked for every year, and then remembered last year had been her final year at Hogwarts. No more Cho Chang, no more crush to keep his mind even a little bit off all the things he didn't want to think about.
He moved his eyes from family to family, getting a little bit more annoyed with every smiling parent. His eyes passed Neville being threatened by his grandma, and his nerves calmed slightly. Neville was almost in the same boat as he was--almost--except he still had a family; quite a few relatives for that matter.
Harry bit his bottom lip hard until he couldn't stand the pain anymore, then moved his teeth slightly towards his cheek. All he wanted to do was get on that train and get to school; maybe once he got there things would change. To himself he promised to do better this year. Maybe, if he paid attention, his classes would keep his mind off everything going on- like a Cho substitute.
"Oi, Dad! I wonder where the Malfoys are…" Ron bellowed in Harry's ear to Arthur, even though they were right next to each other. Harry bit harder on his lip and looked up again.
Where the bloody hell was that Malfoy prick?
It had said in the paper that he was coming back this year, one of very few. Harry was definitely looking forward to a good old fashion fight with him. Ron, who had shared a bedroom with Harry for the past week, had realized on the second day together not to even so much as disagree with Harry. Everyone was pretending he needed time. But they knew something was wrong.
It wasn't that he wanted to fight… okay he did. But there wasn't really any certain person that he wanted to take it out on.
"That's odd." Harry heard Arthur say from behind him. "I don't really know. The Malfoy's have pretty much kept to themselves since Malfoy was murdered."
Harry felt sick. He remembered how he had felt at hearing this the first time. He had been glad to hear that Draco now, in a small way, new how it felt to loose someone. To not have someone as important as a father in your life. Remembered how long the guilt had stuck in his gut after thinking that.
Harry took a sharp breath and released it.
At the sound of the train coming, he sighed and looked up. But it wasn't the same train. This train was a rusty color and looked rather old. Everything about it seemed less appealing and Harry could just imagine it going down on them.
Everyone scrambled into the cars and Harry found himself sitting with Ron, Hermione, Neville, Luna, Ginny, and her boyfriend-who Harry didn't know in a completely small little compartment. Harry sat back on the seat closing his eyes, hoping to get some rest. His knees touched Luna and Neville's across from him. This year really was going to suck, he could tell already. At least it was his last one. Then what would he do….?
Hermione tried to make conversation with him the first part of the trip, keeping him awake even if he would be able to sleep, but she gave up eventually and took out a large book. He gave up eventually too and got into a conversation with Neville, who hadn't spoken to anyone since he'd got on the train himself. It wasn't the same talking to Neville, because Neville wasn't like his other friends. He didn't like to complain, which was something that Ron and Hermione were basing entire conversations on.
"So how was your summer then?" Harry asked yawning and leaning his head against the wall, trying to block out Ginny, who was in deep conversation with her boyfriend.
He knew it had been him that had broken up with her, but he was slightly disgusted at how fast she was able to find someone to replace him.
"It was okay I guess… You?" Neville asked, getting his mind off of Ginny while he tried to come up with a suitable answer.
"Uh, not that wonderful. Why was yours okay?"
"Well, I mean it wasn't terrible. I got a new broom, I bought it with some of the money I got working at the ministry this summer. That was pretty cool. But then Gran got mad about me always either being at work or out flying, and she took it from me. I can't wait to fly it again." He said pulling one leg up on the seat with him, scrunching his face in discomfort and putting both feet back on the floor.
Harry smiled. He'd forgotten about that. Flying always made him feel better. "Yeah, me either."
"So what was not too wonderful about your summer?" Neville asked trying a different sitting position and giving up again.
"I don't really want to talk about it." Harry said feeling bad. He felt like he needed to tell someone, and he actually considered that person being Neville, but there were too many people here.
He looked over to see Ron with his arm around Hermione and felt like he was going to puke. He'd been wanting them to get together for as long as he could remember, but being in the same room with them together… it was awkward and they didn't seem to notice or care.
"Well if you decide you want to, I'm here." Neville offered fidgeting in his seat a little more.
"Thanks." Harry said closing his eyes again.
"So what was your gran on about earlier?"
"Which time?" Neville asked sounding annoyed.
He glanced at the cover of whatever Luna was reading, or at least what she was using to block her face so they didn't see her listening to their conversation. They didn't care though; it was Luna.
"Before we got on the train, I don't know." Harry said.
"I think you're probably referring to when she told me that she would be sending me my broom. She packs my stuff for me, cause she doesn't trust me anymore, and she just 'accidentally' forgot to pack that." He said with a snort. "That was the only thing that I couldn't block out today."
Harry laughed. "You mastered the art?"
"I wish you knew my gran, you could put her in her place." Neville said excitedly. Harry heard a loud thud and opened his eyes to see Neville on the ground looking twice as annoyed as he sounded. Everyone laughed except for Harry and Luna as Neville pulled himself up onto the seat again.
"This train is not very nice." Luna said slowly patting Neville on the back and smiling kindly. "I really do wonder where the other train is."
Harry closed his eyes again when he saw that Neville was back on the seat, sitting as still as possible. He listened to Luna and Neville's voices, blocking out Hermione and Ron, and somehow--eventually--fell asleep.
McGonnagal was not exactly a speech person. But that was okay. The new years had already been sorted and sitting at their tables. She smiled as she stood and everyone stopped talking respectfully. "Good Evening and welcome. Please remember that the forest is forbidden territory…" she looked around trying to remember what else to say. "Our dear Filch has updated his list of forbidden objects, if you have any thought of the use of an object… please check that." She paused again. "We have a few new teachers this year, but it seems that all of them are a little late… Before we eat I would like to have a moment of silence. For all of those we've lost and all those hurt in the war." She smiled lightly and bowed her head. Harry shook his head at how quickly she had gone from one thing to another, but bowed his head respectively. After what seemed like forever, Harry was hungry, she lifted her head and said. "Enjoy the feast." Again Harry shook his head.
Harry pilled food on and started shoving it in his mouth. He looked up a few times to glance at the other tables. It really was weird seeing how many people were missing. The Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw table didn't seem to be missing too many students but when he turned to look at the Slytherin table his mouth fell open a little. Almost half of them were gone.
He tried not to listen to the conversation going on at the table, which turned out to be easier then he thought, and before he knew it he was finished and standing up to head back to Gryffindor tower.
Promising the other two he was just tired he walked out of the great hall quickly, slowing down the second he was out the doors. Harry yawned to himself hoping that he would be able to fall right asleep when he got in bed. He'd pretty much done nothing but sleep at Remus's house, but the last week hadn't really given him much time for sleep at all.
Just as he turned to go up the stairs, the front doors opened with a bang. He stopped and turned, curious. Puddles formed under the two people, dripping like mad, as they closed the door behind them. One of them, Harry recognized right away, as Hagrid. Harry had been so tired when he'd gotten off the train he hadn't even noticed the absence of the large man. Realizing he hadn't even gotten a letter or sent a letter to the man since mid summer he went back down the step and started to walk to him.
Harry watched Hagrid shake a little, and laughed as the other man was sprayed in more rain water. The man didn't even bother to put his arms up to shield himself from the water, in fact Harry wasn't even sure if the person had noticed. The man, a student, wasn't dressed in his robes yet, but rather in a big black hooded sweatshirt, baggy blue jeans, and a pair of large black boots. The Hood was pulled up over his head, and the man was looking down making it impossible to tell who it was.
"'Arry!" Hagrid yelled happily when he saw him walking towards him. The other man looked up and back down so quickly Harry wasn't able to catch his face. The man looked off to the side still staring at the ground.
Harry shook his head slightly before smiling and saying, "Hey, Hagrid."
Hagrid took two steps forward, stepping right in front of Harry he held out his hand, "How've you been?"
Harry took the hand and shook it, "Been better, you?"
"I 'eard about what wen' on wit ya this sum'er. Glad to be back at school?" he asked taking a step back, smiling, and setting the bags down he was carrying. The other man did the same, slower, as though his bags were many times heavier.
"I guess-sum…did you hear about the train?" Harry began, trying to start a new subject.
"No, wha' happened?" Hagrid asked completely forgetting about the other man, who was now standing a little straighter with both hands in his pockets.
"Came late today, about five minutes." Hagrid looked a little shocked and Harry continued. "It wasn't even the same train that finally did pick us up, it was some old thing that had Flitwick size seats." Harry said, realizing that it probably wasn't the nicest way to explain it. He looked around to make sure no one else had heard it,
The other man made a noise before Hagrid asked, "Did they say wha' happened?"
"Nah, but it'll probably be in the Prophet tomorrow morning." Harry said rubbing his neck. That really had been an uncomfortable ride.
Hagrid smiled and looked around glancing at the other man and motioning at the man to start walking again. "Well we gotta be going, come down and see me sometime, I gotta show you what I found." Hargid smiled.
As the man walked past him, his head came up just a little, and Harry caught his clear grey eyes. Hagrid shooed the man forward quickly and soon they disappeared down the hallway to the dungeons.
Draco.
