Meredith Grey had never seen a divorced couple looking so intimate since Cristina was still sleeping with Owen. Jackson was sitting on April's hospital bed, with their baby daughter safely nestled in April's arms. Meredith was quick to note that his arm was wrapped securely around April's waist, it was such a protective gesture that she had to wonder whether Jackson still had feelings for her. April, who had barely woken up from her surgery, was softly cooing to her daughter.

Staring from the doorway, Meredith found the scene almost unbearable to watch. She was watching such a raw and intimate moment between the small family that she almost turned around and walked away. Meredith couldn't help but feel jealous. It was impossible not to watch the happy couple without thinking about Derek. Memories flooded back to her of when Ellis was born, of how Derek wasn't able to be there. A twinge of sadness and grief washed over her as she thought of how Ellis would never know her father. Derek will never be able to teach his son how to throw a football or how to ride a bike, and Zola would never get to have another princess tea party with her dad. Not for the first time she asked herself why did he have to leave her? Grimacing at the memories of Derek, she quickly suppressed these thoughts before she had to go home and down a bottle of tequila to drown her sorrows. She plastered a happy smile on her face and walked into the room. April could barely draw her eyes away from her baby as Meredith walked into the room.

'Congratulations,' Meredith smiled at them and then directed her next question at April. 'How are you feeling?'

'I'm fine,' she replied and turned her eyes back to her baby. 'Just so grateful that this little one is alive.'

She then smiled sheepishly at Meredith, 'Sorry about your kitchen bench.'

Meredith waved her hand quickly dismissing the apology and laughed, 'Oh that bench has been through a lot of things. It was only a matter of time before someone had a baby on it.'

Meredith studied April for a moment. Her hair was a frizzled mess around her head, tubes were still attached all over her body and her eyes showed such exhaustion that Meredith was surprised she was awake at all. April had certainly changed since coming back from the army. Her eyes that once shone so bright with the hopes and dreams of the world now were conservative and cautious. It was like she now saw everything in a different light, a light that no longer shone only on the stars and flowers but also the pain and suffering that plagued the world. She was stronger, she was a person who had been to hell and back, and she had endured. Meredith found herself wondering if April would've had the strength or courage to have a C-section on her kitchen bench before Samuel had died.

'Have you thought of any names for the baby?' Meredith asked.

'We are still trying to figure out the right one,' Jackson said. 'Just trying to get to know her a little bit first.'

April looked up at Jackson and hesitated before saying, 'I was thinking maybe her middle name could be Catherine.' He gave her a surprised look and opened up his mouth to disagree, so April hurried on. 'She's a strong woman who cares so much about the people she loves, and she would do anything to protect them. I want our baby growing up knowing that she is loved and cherished.'

Jackson gave April a smile, and moved a lock of hair that had fallen into her face, 'Then we should be calling her April. I have never met someone as strong, and loving and selfless as you. You were ready to give up your life for this baby. I'm so thankful that they were able to save both of you. But don't you ever put your life in danger like that again, okay. We need you.'

April looked into Jackson's eyes, the green eyes she had so easily fallen in love with, and suddenly she was overcome with emotion. She had tried to supress the terror of last night, but looking into his eyes she realised she didn't have to hold up the world by herself anymore.

'Jackson,' April said in barely a whisper. Tears ran down her face and her voice broke, 'I was so scared. I couldn't lose another baby; I couldn't go through that again. But I was also scared about me. There was so much pain, and so much blood. Then I passed out. I was worried I would never get to see you or the baby ever again.'

'Shhhh,' Jackson said, and he moved April slightly so her head could rest easily on his chest. 'It's okay, I've got you know. I'm not going anywhere. Everything is going to be alright.'

Meredith couldn't help but feel a little awkward watching the couple share this moment. She had taken to inspecting the fake potted plant in the corner, so as to not interrupt them. She felt quite sure they had forgotten she was in the room and she wondered if she could just slowly walk out without them noticing.

Thankfully, Alex chose this moment to pop his head inside the doorway.

'Mer, I need to speak with you,' he said.

'Alex, have you seen Wilson? She was supposed to be here 45 minutes ago to do rounds?' Meredith asked when Alex had steered them into a supply closet. 'Why are we in a supply closet?'

'Have you seen Callie? I need her for a consult.' Alex said, his eyes looking everywhere around the supply room except at Meredith. She wasn't sure that he heard her question.

'Callie left last night to be with Penny,' Meredith said, looking with concern at him. Alex only nodded his head, and she wondered if he even knew what she said. His scrubs were soaked with sweat and his hands were shaking badly as they grasped the shelving unit. Meredith noticed that the knuckles on one of his hands was bruised and cut.

Meredith looked up at him, and said seriously. 'Alex, what's going on?'

Alex wet his lips with his tongue and finally looked her straight in the eyes. 'I did something bad.'

Alex confessed to Meredith about punching De Luca the previous night after he found him on top of Jo.

'Alex, you can't do this anymore. I know you're hurting, I know that you and Jo aren't working out, I know that it sucks. But you can't go around hitting everyone who makes you upset.' Meredith said. She felt exasperated, she couldn't keep baby-sitting Alex anymore. He was too impulsive. He always did things before thinking about the consequences.

Meredith sighed. 'Where's De Luca?'

'He was at Jo's when I left,' Alex cringed. 'He was on top of her, Mer. And then she was screaming at me to get out.'

He ran his hands through his hair before looking at Meredith desperately, 'I think I'm losing her.'

Shaking his head slightly he continued in barely a whisper, 'I can't lose her.'

Meredith looked at Alex. It was like he took two small steps forward and then leaped backwards. He wanted to get married and start a family, and then he just goes and acts like a teenage boy again. She wanted to help him, but she wasn't sure how she could make the situation better.

'Okay. Okay. I will figure it out. Just focus on your patients.' Meredith said. She had never seen Alex look so desperate and panicked before.

Alex once again just nodded his head. Meredith's pager began beeping.

'I got to go,' she said.

She looked at him one last time, and had a sense of deja vu as she said, 'Don't do anything stupid.'

She left him nodding his head as she walked out of the supply closet and tried not to run as she walked down the corridor.

Jo Wilson had just paged her 911 from the dumpsters.