When Morgan finally stopped the massage, Reid had fallen asleep. The older man pulled the blanket up over the sleeping form of his friend and then stood up. He grabbed another blanket from the top shelf of the closet and headed toward the table. It didn't take him long to maneuver the chairs so that he could make a make-shift bed for himself. He had no intentions of leaving Reid alone tonight and given what he had just learned, he wasn't sure what Reid's reaction would be if he woke up to find them sharing the bed.
His feet propped up on one chair, Morgan pulled the blanket around him, shifting slightly as he tried to find a comfortable position. It wasn't easy, but he finally felt like he could fall asleep without the fear of falling out of the chairs. He peered over at the bed. Reid still slept peacefully. The ordeal he had been through tonight, that Gideon had put him through before he had left seemed to have been banished momentarily from his mind.
Watching Reid sleep peacefully, Morgan wished that things could remain that way. That all the terrible things that Reid had gone through would just disappear. That they wouldn't haunt him. He wished that he was able to protect him from all of that but he knew he couldn't. Reid had to face all of that. Deal with it in his own way. Morgan knew that all he could do was stand by his friend's side. Be a sounding board when Reid needing one. Try to say the right words to support his friend when he was feeling down. Find a way to make his friend feel safe again and wait for him to be able to love again.
Morgan wasn't sure how long it had taken him to fall asleep, nor was he sure how long he had been asleep when the soft sobs broke through his slumber. Wearily open his eyes he looked toward the bed. Reid's face was turned away from him, but his body shook with the sobs that had woken Morgan up.
Letting the blanket fall to the floor, Morgan got up from his make-shift bed and crossed over to the bed. He sat gently down on the side of the bed, reaching his hand out. Morgan rested it gently on the younger man's back, between the shoulder blades.
"Do you want to talk?"
Morgan's question received a quick shake of the head in reply.
"Do you need something for pain?"
Again the question met with a no response.
Morgan felt like his heart was breaking, watching his friend's suffering and not knowing what to do. What he wanted to do was reach down and wrap his arm's protectively around the small form of his friend but he held back not knowing if that would just make things worse. Being held might make Reid feel like he was trapped again. Trapped like he had felt in his relationship with Gideon. As he had been when he had been tied to the bed, unable to stop anything that was being done to him.
Finally, unable to watch silently anymore Morgan spoke again.
"Please Kid, talk to me. Tell me what is going through that head of yours."
"It'll only make it more real to talk about it."
"You already went through it. It can't get any more real but not talking about it is going to eat you up inside. I know that from experience, Kid. As embarrassed as I was about the team finding out about what Buford did to me, it was a relief in a way. I felt like I wasn't hiding anymore and I knew that Buford couldn't hurt anyone else."
"I just want it to end."
"What to end?"
"Being alone. What's wrong with me? Why doesn't anyone love me. I thought Gideon did but he really didn't. He only wanted what he needed from the relationship. I just feel so alone."
"You're not alone. I'm right here and I do love you, Pretty Boy. I'll do whatever it takes to show you that."
"I'm not even sure I would know what love is at this point."
"You trust me, don't you Kid?" Morgan asked softly. He saw Reid nod once. "You know I'd never intentionally do anything to hurt you?" There was another nod. "Cause I can show you part of what it means to have somebody care about you. I need to know that I'm not going to make things worse though, so you've got to let me know if you're uncomfortable with this. You're not going to hurt my feelings. You understand me?"
There was another nod. Morgan would have preferred to hear a reply out loud, but given the lack of vocalization from his friend so far, it didn't surprise him.
Morgan got up from the bed and walked around to the other side. Climbing into the bed he slid under the covers and close to Reid. Reaching out, he carefully coaxed the younger man to roll over toward him, knowing the movement would cause Reid's aching muscles to protest. It wasn't long though before he had Reid close to his side, the younger man's head resting on his shoulder. Morgan wrapped his arms around the slender frame.
"You okay with this?"
Morgan felt the nod more than he saw it this time. He wanted to pry for a vocal answer, but as he didn't feel any tenseness in the younger man's body, he felt it better not to pressure him. At least he felt like he was doing something by holding the younger man close. Eventually the sobs passed and they laid in silence for awhile.
"Morgan?" Reid asked quietly not too much later.
"Yeah, Kid."
"What do you want?"
"What?"
"Gideon only held me like this when he wanted me to do something. I guess he felt it would make me more compliant or something."
"I'm not Gideon, Kid. The only thing I want is to be able to offer you some comfort."
Reid made no reply. Morgan shifted his head to look down at him. Reid had tilted his, toward Morgan, and though the tears still stained his face, Reid's expression had relaxed some. He saw Reid reach a hand up, and for a moment Morgan thought he was going to try to pull away. Instead, Reid placed his hand on the forearm that was resting protectively across the younger man, and let it rest there.
Morgan refrained from holding the younger man tighter. He didn't want Reid to feel restrained in any way.
"I feel safe right now," Reid finally said, the words not much more than a whisper.
"Good. I want you to feel safe when you're with me, Kid. Now try to get some sleep."
There was silence in the room, for a few minutes before Reid spoke again.
"Morgan, can you do smoething for me?"
"Anything, Kid."
"Hold me a little tighter."
Morgan gently applied more pressure to the slender frame that was pressed up against him.
"This better."
"Yeah."
Hoping not to ruin the moment, but feeling the desire to do so, Morgan lifted his head and pressed a kiss to the top of Reid's head. He hoped to soon be able to show Reid just how deep his feelings went, but he knew he had to take it slow. Though Morgan's life hadn't been a picnic, he did believe that life had thrown more at the younger man that he was currently holding in his arms.
From what Reid had shared with him, his childhood had been rough. Where he might have had the support of one parent, Reid hadn't had the constant support of either, though Morgan had no doubt that Reid's mother had tried her best. His peers had often given him a hard time and Morgan knew he was included among those, not openly accepting the younger man when he had first joined the BAU. Then there had been the incident with Dowd, with Tobias and now this recent issue. Though Gideon and Elle had both left them all, those events had hit Reid harder than the rest of them, though Morgan was beginning to see that Gideon leaving had been a blessing. The Kid didn't need that kind of continuing relationship. Reid needed someone to share the burden not add to it.
As Reid didn't make any protest to the kiss, Morgan took it as an encouraging sign. He would get Reid through this latest obstacle and show the kid what love really meant.
