DISCLAIMER: NOT MINE! WHAT DO YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN TO THE FANDOMS IF I OWNED THEM?

Chapter Two: Emily's Discretion

Ciel POV

I came to and, seriously, I am not supposed to get used to time travel. I looked around. I was back at the manor, a ways off I saw Gemma. I motioned for her to stay, so Sebastian wouldn't go all demon on her and started forward.

When I reached the house I knocked, it felt weird, knocking the door to my own house, but it seemed so...outlandish and extravagant, it didn't seem right to barge in.

The door creaked open and Mey-Rin opened the door, when she saw me she gasped and ran away yelling, young master! Young master!

Almost immediately I saw a shadow in the corner and I saw the red eyes glinting from it. Crap, I still didn't have a good reason to where I was.

"Young Master," Sebastian said," where have you been, I couldn't even tell where you were, I feared you he broken the contract.." He looked at my eye and for a split second shock flashed across his face before him asking," the contract?" It was almost phrased as a question, but it was a demand.

" I have found a way to hide it, nothing more."

"Yes, young master."

" Aggh! I can't take it anymore, call me young master one more time and I will make you go on a date with the reaper named Grell."

He looked green, but I continued," Call everyone," Mey-Rin showed up first with Finny and Bard in tow," Okay, so I don't like you being all...formal and shit so just call me Ciel or something, and Sebastian, I can dressed by myself, thank you."

They all looked shocked and probably thought I was crazy, but I wasn't going to sit here and be all old fashioned. Next though, I had to get Elizabeth over here, I was not marrying my cousin for god's sake. I instinctually went to grab my phone, before I remembered that I didn't have cell reception.

"Damn laws of nature," I said and dismissed everyone including Sebastian.

Ciel decided the laws of nature weren't all that important, and he defied them and call Gemma on his cellphone. "The right state of mind makes anything possible". ( Gemma)

Gemma answered "Sup bitch? Miss me?"

"You can come to the manor now….Ms. Gemma..."

"NOOO! DON'T GO ALL FORMAL ON MY ASS CIEL! YEAH! IMMA PACK SOME SHIT THEN ILL BE OVER THERE SOON SIT TIGHT!" The phone clicked and she was gone. Kinda.

Ciel was truly worried for the world at this point (*ACHOO* Sorry. I'm allergic to bullshit.) rather quickly, the doorbell rang. He opened it, and there stood Gemma….and three reapers. Grell, Will, and Ronald.

"I came prepared to troll!"

Then Sebastian ran back out into the room, and looked at Ciel wide eyed, "My- Ciel," he changed the name once he say Ciel's glare, "what are the reapers and this girl doing here?"

Gemma then proceeded to yell at Sebastian. "How dare you! You dare address your master in such an informal way! How could you call yourself a butler! You useless piece of shit!"

I regret nothing. You do, just think of what Sebastian is like now, and you will feel bad. Right now he is kind of a dick though…. I didn't know about Ciel's orders. Otherwise I would have just hug attacked him 'cause smexy Sebby is smexy. You are bipolar…..

Sebastian fled into the corner in tears…and started growing mushrooms

Suddenly, in a flash of bright light a girl about Gemma's age appeared with a guy with dark hair and a weird unifrom. They looked around for a second before the girl ran towards Gemma and hugged her.

"What the hell are you doing here Emily?" Gemma asked, confused out of her mind, what the hell was her best friend doing magically appearing in the past with…."OH MY GOD WHY DID SHE KIDNAP TOM RIDDLE!" Gemma then proceeded to punch Emily repeatedly. But Emily blocked her because she thought Gemma had no right to punch her when Gemma was in a house with Ciel, Sebastian, and Grell.

"Hello! Why are you in a room with all character from kuroshitsuji! I kidnapped Tom Riddle because I magically appeared in a graveyard, and found out I was in the fourth Harry Potter book."

"HOW THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN?" Gemma asked.

"It's a long story….."

Inside Emily's Mind...be terrified (0.o)

Gemma was taking so goddamn long to answer any texts or calls, so I decided to just go over there and break into her house. In the most friendly way possible of course. I broke a window, and since Gemma was too cheap to buy an alarm I just walked in.

It was then I remembered I had a key. Oh well, Gemma would find out later….and probably kill me. Fortunately for my continued existence, Gemma was not here, and I was free to do whatever the frack I wanted. I first walked over to her fridge where I raided it for all the whipped cream she had. After finishing all that shit off I walked into the living room.

Strangely, there was a crack on the wall, like such from Doctor Who. Me being me, I of course walked over there and touched it.

I was immediately flopped into a magical vortex of white and blue snowflakes with pink elephants on them. No I was not high. I PROMISE!

(At this point in the story, let it be noted that Gemma said she refused to provide Emily with her drugs. Drugs are not cool, and they are not for school. Mwahahaha that rhymed) Something which Gemma would never ever say out loud...Yes she would idiot! NU. Get back to the dAMN POINt! Whatever, and capitalize your D! Mmmm… That D tho. Stands for… DOCTOR, BITCH! Fuck off, my mind story. Nu. This is my adventure too! Screw off, (uses Occlumency to push Gemma out) Now that she is gone… FATE! SHE PUSHED ME!

I ended up on a grassy ground. I looked around, and found that I was in a graveyard. Tied to a statue of an angel was a boy with messy black hair about four years younger than me in front of an old balding man. The first thought in my mind was. THIS IS KINKY AND DON'T BLINK. Slowly my brain recognized them as Peter Pettigrew and Harry Potter. I started fangirling all over on the inside, and then they saw me.

The looks on their faces were priceless. The bald man was all like, "What the Fuck?" and Harry looked rather hopeful. Suddenly Pettigrew shot a killing curse at me, and instead of letting it hit me, like Cedric over there, I dodged. Look! A dead spare. Cedric was dead next to me about four feet away.

I suddenly got magical ninja powers and roundhouse kicked Pettigrew in the face and knocked him out.

In actuality, Emily just flopped on top of Pettigrew, like a fish, due to her lack of coordination and idioticness. His head proceeded to hit the head stone and he died. Except not. Just unconscious. My bad. PROCEED YOU FISH! Shut up! I do have amazing ninja powers you...you...armadillo! Aw! Thanks! But no, you have as much martial arts skills as a limbless frog. I will have you know that you are so bad at martial arts that a limbless frog could kick your ass any day! I would say I eat limbless frogs for breakfast but that's disgusting and I don't eat breakfast. And also I'd squish that stupid fishy frog. Enough with the random commentating, back to MY amazing story.Too bad that's not what happened…. Oh whatever.

Then I walked over to the caldron and saw gross baby Voldie.I decided that he would look much better if I recreated him in a fangirl's image.

First things first I decided to forego the usual ritual used in the book and make up my own. 'Cause that is just how I rolled. I walked over to the caldron and threw in Tom Riddle Senior's bones.

"Bone of the father, unknowingly given. You will renew your son!" I slash my arm and drop my blood into the caldron.

"May blood of the fangirl renew your hot teenage body and give you the mind of a Ouran high school host club member...particularly Tamaki...with a little dash of Kyoya, just to get that cold-heartedness."

Apparently this works because Emily is magic 'cause they needed the blood of his enemy! Stick to canon. Seriously….none of this is canon!

At this point Harry is looking rather confused, terrified, and scared shitless. He probably had no idea what the hell was going , I just ignored him and continued working….really this is rather random.

Sparkles and rose petals with a background of pale pink suddenly exploded from the caldron and out of the mist rose Voldemort….or rather a now very hot Tom Riddle.

He looked around, his wavy brown hair is swept across his forehead by a slight breeze. His violet-gray eyes looked into my soul, and I melted a bit from fangirlitis. (She drooled a lot) I couldn't believe what I had just done. I think i just single-handedly screwed with an entire fandom...in five minutes.

Suddenly Cedric Diggory rose up from death, sparkling in the sunlight which had appeared when Tom Riddle was reborn in all his hawtness. Cedric then proceeded to mope dramatically and moan.

"What have I become! A monster. I am no longer Cedric Diggory...I am Edward!"

At this moment Harry completely went into shock, "Programming overload," was all he said before fainting.

I was so terrified of twilight becoming a reality in this moment that I threw him through a crack in time.

You sent him to the universe where he was Edward. You idiot. I have a feeling that this is going to bite us in the ass later on in this random ass adventure which makes no sense. OMG! I created Twilight! I must die in a hole now, fall on my sword! Suicide is the answer! Kill me now! Actually the answer might be shock therapy. You do not deserve a painless death. I'll pay for your cruel execution through electrical waves! You have been threatening me with that for months...it no longer works. Unless I actually do it. Then it'll work. And my offer will always stand, you crazy bitch.

Tom Riddle was standing in a caldron, confused, wearing a Ouran High School uniform. Harry Potter had fainted after Cedric rose. And I had no idea what to do.

Tom looked at me, "My dear lady, what troubles you?"

I'm pretty sure he said something more like: Drool is pouring out of your mouth… Need a hanky? And some BREATH MINTS?! You just jealous that I get Host club version of Tom Riddle, and you got Ciel Phantomhive. I'm sorry, you mean I got Ciel, Sebby, Undertaker, all hawt reapers, and all other hot guys in Kuroshitsuji? Excuse me? How did you get the undertaker? Me and him are way closer than you guys. I met him first. And all of them. I WANT ALL THE GUYS!... I NEED MY INHALER! *Wheezing* SO you want a reverse Harem do you!…. Hell yes! And you have an imaginary one that you've told me about so shut up!

With his perfect looks and charming smile I just freaked out and started hugging looked a bit startled, but then sort of just collapsed. "What's wrong?!" I aksed.

"I have done so much wrong…." he said, crystal tears falling from his face. This was too much for me. I decided to screw with the fandom even more. I grabbed the cup, Tom and harry, who was saying, "Rebooting...do not turn off while reloading.."

The three of us flew away is a swirl of color and landed outside the maze. Suddenly I was surrounded by Dumbledore and other teachers. I kicked Dumbledore in the nuts called him a manipulative bastard and then starting hugging Snape, telling him that Snarry is evil, and he deserved Lily.

Everyone looked rather shocked. Except Dumbledore who pretended he knew exactly what was going on but in reality he doesn't know shit. After all, a girl that looked rather like Merida from Brave had just showed up, holding Harry Potter in one arm and a mystery boy in the other.

Dumbledore, still cringing walked up to me, "Who might you and this man be young lady?" he asked in his pedophilic grandpa tone. :3

NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS! I was just about to say that Gemma….I'VE GOT THE POWAAAAAA!

"None of your damn business, but I really want to tell you, so…..This is Tom Riddle who I turned into a Host and all hawt. Cedric is now a vampire, but don't worry! He has a wife with no emotions and a kid. Harry here is rebooting. I broke him…."

No one had any idea what to say, so I just leapt through the next crack in time I saw.

I wonder now what happened in the Harry Potter world…...Maybe Dumbledore died from shock…. Dumbledore saw his chance and created the DA then proceeded to take over the world. Loki style. Meaning he failed. Worthless manipulative bitch. (I deleted the last bit because it was majorly screwed up) Dear God, you broke my extremely screwed up mind.


End Of Mind Trip

"I landed in the world of Black Butler….and here I am now!"

So basically. RUN!

OoOoOoOoO

Author's Note: This is again, crack, and I hope you guys all like it...

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