I own nothing! Everything belongs to KRISTIAN BRITAIN!

P.S. The term "Soldier's Heart" from chapter two is an old American Civil War term for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD

Chapter Three: Never Again

Lhean:

I woke to the familiar sounds of song and talk in a well-known clearing near the Elt wood. Is this not the clearing the Galaheon was healed in? I tried to sit up but did not get far before a familiar hand gently pushed me back down.

"Hello Lhean," Somial smiles down gently at me with a hint of amusement in his eyes.

"Somial…?" I croaked, surprised. He merely smiles.

"Sleep, youngling. You cannot move just yet. We will bring you home when you are well," whispered Somial.

I merely nod and fall to sleep among the light and protection of the muna'riel.


Fastion:

After an apprentice had delivered the porridge and tea to the room; Master Mender Ben went to inform the King, Queen, and Captain Mapstone of Rider Sir G'ladheon's waking. Mapstone will not be pleased that Karigan has returned. It was only luck that Donal discovered her plans...subconscious ones or not. Karigan gradually began to calm down as the room started to clear. Once the door was fully closed, it was only I in the room with her. I was still stroking her hair in the hopes of maintaining her feeling of safety and calm. She was silent for a few moments more before she finally lifted her head up and looked at me.

"Fastion?" she rasped, "What happened? How did I get back to the castle?"

"Head Caretaker Agemon found you trapped inside the Queen's tomb over a week ago. We do not know how you got to be within the tomb. Weapons Brienne and Horal freed you, and helped bring you to the mending wing."

Karigan paled at the mention of the Tombs, and began to shake slightly. She always did find the Tombs…unsettling, even when she first visited them all those years ago. It is no wonder that she would react like this to being found within them. When I finally got a full look at Karigan since she had awakened, I found that Karigan was looking particularly fragile at the moment, and much smaller than usual because of the amount of weight she has lost. The deep bags under her eyes were not helping her fragile appearance. I added another pillow behind her and gently guided her back to lean on them. After doing so, I grabbed the breakfast tray from the side table and placed it on her lap.

"Eat, little sister," I softly ordered her, "you need to regain your strength."

Karigan glanced up at me with a confused look on her face, as if to ask what the point was to regain that strength. I mentally berated King Zachary for causing the impending conversation and not allowing her a few days' rest.

"Karigan, the King is on his way to speak with you." I stonily stated, "You will need your strength for your report to him regarding your mission in Blackveil. His Majesty will want to know exactly what happened there, and what the Sacoridian party found out about the Eletian's desire to venture into the forest."

Karigan visibly flinched at this news. She stared steadily at me with a struggle in her eyes before she finally nodded gravely. I gravely nodded back at her and returned to my guard post outside of the door.


Karigan:

Karigan was curled around Fastion's body heat. Somehow her head had ended up on Fastion's lap, but she couldn't bring herself to move it. She couldn't bring herself to stop crying either. So cold, always so cold. It's tearing my insides apart and I can't hold them together anymore. She curled tighter into her ball around Fastion's warmth. Dangerous. They are all dangerous. They'll try to kill me! Too weak to protect myself… so tired. I started to cry louder until I started hearing the door open and close. It's okay… it's okay. Fastion is here. He'll protect me from them. It will be safe with him. No one can try to kill me with Fastion. As the room finally silenced so did my cries and I began to feel the sword roughened hand that was stroking my hair, and fully calmed. It was time to find out what exactly has happened to me.

"Fastion?" I rasped, why does my voice sound like I have been screaming? "What happened? How did I get back to the castle?" Where is everyone else?

Uh oh. Why does Fastion look almost pained at my questions? What happened to Granite Face while I was…away?

"Head Caretaker Agemon found you trapped inside the Queen's tomb over a week ago. We do not know how you got to be in the tomb." He grimaced, "Weapons Brienne and Horal freed you, and helped bring you to the mending wing."

I could feel myself pale at the thought of being in the Tombs again…being in the Queen's tomb again. Agemon would have been murderous to find me there. I am surprised he did not try to keep me. I started to shake slightly at the thought.

Fastion grabbed a pillow and placed it behind my back with the other. He then helped me lean back against them. So tired…so weak… Fastion then turned and placed a breakfast tray on my lap that held steaming porridge and herbal tea on it. I mentally sighed in delight. Something to eat that didn't contain the tang of Blackveil.

"Eat little sister," Fastion ordered me almost gently, "you need to regain your strength."

I glanced up at him in confusion. Why so adamant? What's going on? Fastion had a strange look in his eyes as he began to speak, but he quickly shuttered it.

"Karigan, the King is on his way to speak with you." Fastion stated, "You will need your strength for your report to him regarding your mission in Blackveil. His Majest will want to know exactly what happened there, and what the Sacoridian party found out about the Eletian's desire to venture into the forest."

I flinched and immediately began to numb myself to the horrors that I have encountered within Blackveil forest and the deaths that have occurred. I cannot speak of it! I cannot! I cannot bring those horrors into the walls of the castle! It was at this moment in my panic that my loyalty to King and Country came to the forefront of my mind. I violently rejected all notions of mental and emotional self-preservation and prepared to do my duty to the King. No matter the horrors that it will bring. Once. Then never again. After boxing up my terror in the back of my mind, I nodded gravely at Fastion. His expression was just as grave as he returned my nod and left to his guard post outside of my now open door.


King Zachary:

King Zachary had just arrived to his study for a meeting with Queen Estora and Captain Mapstone when there was a knock on his door.

"Come," I ordered. This had better be important.

Master Mender/Rider Ben stepped through the door with a rather bewildered look upon his face. If I had not been in the company of this particular mender so frequently, and did not know his face so well, I would say that he looks rather disenchanted. I truly hope that look has to do with the Weapons at the door and nothing to do with the news that he has come here to deliver. Master Mender Ben looks around at who else is in the room before giving me a questioning look. It seems he is unsure on whether or not to speak candidly in front of his Queen and Captain. Perhaps he is just shy when before them? I nod at him and give him a hurry along gesture.

"Rider Sir Karigan G'ladheon has awakened," Ben simply states.

"Indeed? I shall come with you to speak with her at once then." I state and start to rise. By the look on his face, Master Mender Ben has other ideas.

"Ah..Sire? That would not be for the best," Master Mender Ben says quietly looking down.

I slip my full King's mask in place before I find out what is sure to be bad news. "Explain." I sternly order.

"You have to understand Sire of the trauma she has to have suffered..."

I wave dismissively away what I have already been informed of. "Specifically," I nearly grit. The Blackveil information is needed desperately in order to continue to plan for Mornhaven's return. Unless Rider Sir G'ladheon is still severely injured, she will be questioned today.

"She woke up screaming Your Majesty. No matter what we had tried, she did not recognize us. It took two apprentices to hold her down and it wasn't until Weapon Fastion took control that lucidity began to return. " Ben grimaced, "When I left to inform you of her waking, she still had not been fully calm. If Weapon Fastion had not been there to help Rider Sir G'ladheon, she would have had to been sedated. She may still have to be. To put it bluntly, Sire, you may not be able to talk to her."

I stared steadily at Master Mender/Rider Ben before finally answering.

"Nevertheless, we will be going to the mending wing to hear Rider Sir G'ladheon's report." I order, "If she is unable to give her report on Blackveil, you will inform me immediately when she has calmed. Is that understood Rider?" Reminding him of his lower ranking position is sure to get full compliance out of him. Whether he likes it or not.

He nodded grimly and turned to lead the party out of the study.


Queen Estora:

As we were walking through the main corridors and towards the mending wing, it was all I could do to maintain my calm exterior through the panic that was surging within me. Although I did have a small sliver of hope in the chance that Rider Sir Karigan G'ladheon would not be able to speak of her experience in Blackveil, it was not enough to calm my heart. That incompetent Spane! Could not even choose a proper assassin! If this goes poorly, he will be the one to be blamed for it. I cannot bloody my hands before the heir is born. Especially not on Sacoridia's most well known and loved Hero.

Karigan Fucking G'ladheon I mentally sneered. Will screw me over, yet again. First my love Fr'yan Cobblebay and now through the ear of the King!


Captain Mapstone:

When I was informed that Karigan had been found, I was initially relieved. My best senior Rider had returned, and we were in desperate need of more training runs for the influx of new Riders. Then I began to get angry. It would have been much easier if she had died in Blackveil. She would no longer be a threat to the tenuous peace between the Lords and within Sacoridia itself. After Rider Sir G'ladheon failed to wake up after a week and a half, I became furious. How dare she return alive without her fellow Riders?! She should have died within that forest! It is why she was chosen to go in the first place!


King Zachary:

As we reached the mending wing, I was surprised to find Fastion standing outside of Karigan's open door. Shift change was two bells ago, not that he was supposed to be guarding here in the first place, his replacement should have taken over already.

"Fastion," I state sternly, "Explain." Like all Weapons, he began as efficiently and stoically as possible.

"After Rider Sir G'ladheon had awakened, it was only my familiar face and voice that calmed her enough into believing that she was once again safe. I have scheduled it so only the Weapons she are most familiar with will be guarding her room. Two of them are already guarding yourself and Queen Estora, Sire." He nods towards Weapons Willis and Donal that are unobtrusively standing behind me. "I must wait until Weapon Brienne finds a replacement before coming up from the Tombs to relieve me."

"Very well," I say, "how is my Knight doing? Is she able to give her report on Blackveil?"

Fastion's mouth thins ever so slightly at my question. It seems my Weapons are as against my questioning her as Rider Ben is.

"She is calm," states Fastion as he stares straight ahead over my left shoulder. I nod and enter the small, gray mending room with Estora and Mapstone at my side, and the ever-present Weapons at our back. What I see there shocks me to the core. The wraith-like person leaning against the pillows on the bed is nothing like the Karigan G'ladheon that was sent into Blackveil forest. The stars that have been in her eyes ever since she has helped the Weapons in the tombs have turned into sorrowful shadows. As deep as when she left, but with a dead-like quality to them. Her once beautiful auburn hair lays limp at her side. It seems as if her whole body has been defeated from the experience of being within Blackveil forest. One hopes that it has been worth it.


Karigan:

I watch as the King Zachary, Captain Mapstone, Lady Estora, Donal, and Willis enter my room. I think I can safety call her Queen Estora now. I offer a silent rueful snort and look to her stomach. And with child! The King must have been busy after I had left. I watch King Zachary look over me with a look of shock on his face. As if he cannot comprehend that what he is seeing is the result of his orders to enter Blackveil. It is not that I believe it was a bad decision, it is just the idea that he cannot connect my appearance to his actions. I turn from examining King Zachary and his new Queen to Captain Mapstone. She is looking well. Although, there is a stiffness in her bearing that I do not recognize. The Captain is not rubbing the old scar on her neck so it cannot be bad news. I look to Donal and Willis next. They nod to me with a slight smile on their faces. It was not so much on their lips, but in their eyes. I nod back and relax slightly at the friendly faces in the room. Zachary clears his throat and I turn back to look at him.

"Welcome back Rider Sir G'ladheon," uttered Zachary.

"Thank you Your Majesty," I mutter

"I apologize for asking this so soon of you Rider, but we are here for your report," Zachary states almost softly.

"Yes Your Majesty, I only ask that you do not interrupt me during my tale," I ask gravely serious, "I doubt I will be able to restart if you do so."

King Zachary nods and motions me to begin. As I tell the tale of the expedition's journey through Blackveil with the Eletians, their faces gradually whiten. It is only Donal and Willis that maintain their composure, if somewhat grimly. After I reach what happens in Argenthyne and with Yates, Queen Estora gasps and Captain Mapstone's silence becomes deadly. Only after I witness Donal and Willis' look to each other, do I notice the change in Captain Mapstone. I warily watch Captain Mapstone out of the corner of my eye as I finish my report.

"Lieutenant Grant, Private Porter, Forester Ard, and in all likelihood Rider Yates Cardell are dead," I gulp audibly, "I am unsure if Rider Lynx and the other Eletians have survived. The mask may have simply sent them somewhere else. Otherwise... there may not be any other survivors."

I look down at my hands and feel myself squirm. Estora has become Queen. Would it be entirely unwise to inform King Zachary of Ard being sent to kill me? I quickly glance up and away from King Zachary's questioning face.

"Is there something else Rider Sir G'ladheon?" Zachary questions me with raised eyebrows. He watches my eyes look to Queen Estora before answering him.

"Forester Ard tried to kill me in Castle Argenthyne. The Eletian Ealdaen killed him before he succeeded..." I stop briefly before continuing at Zachary's insistence, "Before he was killed, Ard informed me that he was to kill me with Lady Estora's blessing." I watch as Zachary looks sharply at Estora. She looks truly shocked at what I have just accused her of. Maybe Ard said that merely because he was chosen by someone close to Estora? King Zachary's face hardens as he grabs Estora's elbow and turns to leave. When they reach the door, he turns to me and stiffly nods in thanks. King Zachary quickly leaves the mending wing while dragging Queen Estora besides him by her elbow. Their Weapons follow behind. I sigh in relief when they finally leave. Never again. However, my relief was short-lived. I did not notice that Captain Mapstone had stayed behind.

"Karigan," Mapstone said as she pulled up the only chair in the room and sat in it. "That was quite the story." I simply nod, while looking at Captain Mapstone, the door creaks open. We both glance over to see Fastion looking in. He nods at us and keeps the door cracked open. We return to looking at each other.

"So," the Captain begins, "You've noticed the new Queen?" I simply clench my jaw and stiffly nod again.

"Well after Zachary was injured," I hiss in a breath. Captain Mapstone merely holds up her hand to stop me from speaking. "You saw for yourself that he was fine." She says while looking steadily at me. I relax slightly and motion for her to continue.

"Well after Zachary was injured," Captain Mapstone continues her story steadily, "his advisers convinced Lady Estora to commence with a deathbed marriage." Mapstone grimaces at this, " Estora agreed, the marriage was consummated and you have our new Queen pregnant with Zachary's heir." She shrugged.

Captain Mapstone watches me after this revelation. I mentally snort. Probably waiting for me to break down no doubt. I sigh and fully lay down waiting to hear anything else she has to say before I fall asleep.

"Well," she says before slapping her knees and standing up. "I should be going then so can get some much needed rest." She turns and leaves.

Just as I am about to fall asleep, I see Fastion slip into my room and shut the door behind him.


Captain Mapstone:

I calmly walk out of the mending wing and through the main corridor towards my office in the Rider wing. After reaching my office, I grab a nearby Green Foot runner and send him to get Colins, my Lieutenant Rider. I then walk into my office and sit behind my desk to wait for his arrival. Colins arrives fairly quickly. He sits in a chair in front of my desk with an expectant look on his face. I get up, close my office door, sit back down behind my desk, and turn to face Colins. I steeple my hands on my desk and sternly inform Colins of my decision.

"I am placing a kill order on Rider Sir Karigan G'ladheon." I pause, "Her charge is betrayal."

Colins blanches before getting control of his face and giving a stern nod. He then gets up and leaves my office to inform the other Riders. I turn back to my desk to finish up some paperwork.


dun. Dun. DUN! Read and Review please!

A/N: I am not entirely sure about this chapter. It seems a bit garbled to me so I might edit it later. If anyone notices anything major wrong with it I definitely WILL edit it. Be warned.