C. M. Black: Tears of a Phoenix
Chapter III: A knock on the door
Despite a getting in late after an impromptu celebration the night before, Cassy woke early to the dull vibration of the two-way mirror sat on her desk. She spent much of the morning catching Harry up with the events of the last two days and in turn he talked her through the day's Daily Prophet and its extensive coverage of the previous events. The newspaper had exploded with stories from people who were there and who had even partially known Sirius at any given point in his life. He held up several photos the paper had used, some of which contained Cassy either smiling politely, or appearing stern-faced and unapproachable with speculating headlines. The Prophet was desperately trying to determine how well she was dealing with her estranged father and their new relationship.
There was only one picture of Cassy where she truly looked happy. It was not as though others would be able to tell her previous smiles were forced, but the last photograph included was of her grinning and her father hugging her as the court was called to a close. The journalist seemed assured that meant good things for the Black family. Still, she father liked it better than the icy, though flattering, photograph of her beside a youthful one of her father that had made it onto page four.
'How is he?' asked Harry.
'He should currently be at a mandatory health visit with Kingsley, but he will probably call you himself when he's back. The Ministry wants to appear to be trying to do well by him now,' she said and stretched her tired limbs. 'They are especially keen to check his psychological state after so long in Azkaban. Remus said he needs to act like anyone but himself if he wants to pass.'
There was a pause, then Harry sighed. 'I wish I was there.'
'I wish you were too,' said Cassy with a soft smile. 'I will see if I can catch Professor Dumbledore when he inevitably visits.'
'I got a letter from him yesterday, actually. He's coming to pick me up in two days at eleven at night. He's not said why,' admitted Harry.
'To here or the Burrow?' she asked. It had best not be the Burrow.
'Grimmauld Place, hopefully! He's not said where or why or anything, as usual.'
'If he were straight-forward in his answers he would lose his whimsical image,' she drawled. Her head turned towards her closed door. 'Anyway, that someone at the door. I'm expecting Tonks. There was something not right with her yesterday, but you cannot really ask in court.'
Cassy and Harry bid farewell to each other and Cassy once again climbed from the warmth of her bed. She heard the front door close downstairs and she hurriedly dressed, her hair was thrown into a messy bun and slippers adorned her feet as it was impossible to know what was crawling around the dark floors. As she reached the top of the staircase, Tonks emerged from the doorway to the kitchen below. Immediately, she peered up with dark eyes.
'I was wondering where you were. Is Sirius not here?' she said as she rounded the banisters.
'He's at a check-up. You are up strangely early considering it is not a work day,' commented Cassy. She moved away and walked towards the drawing room. Tonks followed behind and although she did not see it, Cassy was sure she shrugged her shoulders.
'I didn't sleep too much last night, so I thought I'd come earlier and we could have some lunch. You eat at weird times, so I knew if I got here early I would catch you first,' she said. She held up a white plastic bag stuffed with containers.
'It's half-ten,' said Cassy.
'Perfect lunch time then,' answered Tonks airily.
Cassy sat on a sofa and drew her legs up in front of her. She was quiet for a moment. Critically, she considered Tonks' appearance. The skin beneath her eyes had darkened, it was clear against the pale skin their shared and her shoulders slumped in a way different to her usual carelessness. She appeared tired, almost defeated in her stance, even when she began to dish out the pots of food on the coffee table. Her hair was still short, yet a mousy-brown and flat. The bubblegum pink was only occasionally swapped for an equally bright colour when not at work. The last time she had seen it such a colour were the days following Alphard's death.
'What's wrong?' asked Cassy carefully.
'Nothing's wrong, I just didn't sleep too well last night. I was a bit buzzed after the trial, especially when you all came back to mine. It didn't put me in much of a mood to sleep,' she said, grinning. 'Anyway, Sirius has told me you and Harry are together! You're supposed to tell me things like that. Go ahead and tell me everything.'
My father is a gossip, thought Cassy flatly.
'I did not tell you because it did not seem like something to write home about,' she said, rolling her eyes.
'I should know, you're the closest thing I have to a sibling, so you have to tell me these things!' Although she was smiling, Tonks looked more pained than before. 'I always pictured you as more of a…'
'Lone wolf?' she offered, calculating.
There, spotted Cassy with satisfaction, Tonks flinched.
'Yeah, that's one way to put it. I always thought you'd be a bit more bookish than a romantic,' she said. 'I forgot to get plates when I was in the kitchen, so you're going to have to eat from a container. Sorry if that makes you feel like one of us peasants.'
Cassy ignored her and took the container her cousin had loaded with various brightly coloured Chinese dishes.
'I have never witnessed a romance go well, so I have a slightly jaded view, I am afraid,' she said casually.
Again, Tonks' body let out an involuntary shiver at the mere mention of romance.
Cassy frowned. Her eyes narrowed and before Tonks had the chance to smile again, Cassy spoke. 'You told Remus about your affections and he rejected you.'
The effect was instantaneous. Half the rice in Tonks' tub was thrown onto the floor and down herself when she jolted. She then froze and her brown eyes darkened further as even the faux mirth died in them. Stiffly, she lowered the fork from her mouth.
'He told you,' she said rigidly.
'No,' said Cassy honestly. 'Your demeanour gave it away.'
Tonks sighed heavily and threw her legs up onto the sofa she occupied. She did not bother to brush away the rice.
'You can be really frustrating, y'know that?' she grumbled.
'Learn to lie better then,' said Cassy flatly.
'I'm an Aurora, I'm a pretty good liar compared to most,' scoffed Tonks. She sighed again. 'I did, you're right - tell him, I mean. The night before the trial. With Bill and Fleur's engagement too, I just thought "this is it!" and for a moment I really thought it was. I told him I wanted to marry him.'
Cassy's eyes widened.
'He said it would never work, that he was too old, too broken for me,' she continued quietly. The insecurity and grief were unusually evident in her voice, it was a foreign tone to hear from her normally excitable cousin yet her face did not crumple. Her expression remained distant, evidentially unhappy, but she did not cry or even tear. 'We had been on a few dates before. He thought I liked Sirius and I told him to get a grip and we went out. Just when it started to get serious he backed away and I thought if I told him I didn't care about his condition then it might be okay, but it only made it worse.'
Silence fell.
'It must be a very difficult condition to live with,' Cassy commented steadily. Her food was left also forgotten beside her on the sofa she occupied opposite Tonks.
Tonks scowled. 'What does it matter if he turns into a bloody dog once a month? We can deal with that! Other people do it all the time. We'd live near a forest so he could chase bats in the night and I'd find him in the morning. It's only a night.'
Cassy nodded slowly. Tonks was right, yet it was impossible for Cassy not to see Remus' fears. His condition was not something he embraced, not even in the slightest. It was a slight on his character in his eyes, it devalued him so wholly that he had obvious fears being in close proximity to people who were kind to him, particularly those aware of his condition. It was obvious, so much so that all of her friends knew of his insecurity. Harry had commented on it more than once whilst lamenting his departure from the school, but they all knew he would not be able to stay if word escaped of his lycanthropy, parents would not allow it. It was that reason that Cassy truly saw the issue Remus had with being with Tonks. People would judge her on her choices, any children they had would be judged by the same cruel remarks because werewolves were only something to be feared. They were not taught in school about the struggles of an individual, but the strength and threat of the condition; they had been taught how to defend against them, not to defend them. Cassy would bet anything she owned that Remus feared tarnishing Tonks' life more than anything else. After all, werewolves had to be registered. It would be easy for someone to realise Tonks was married to a hated, supposedly dark creature.
It was thoughts like that which made Cassy all the more determined to find a cure.
'What are you going to do about it then?' she asked finally.
'I don't know. What can I do?' replied Tonks gloomily. 'You must have noticed how he didn't come for drinks back at mine yesterday.'
Cassy did notice. She had asked her father, but he had shrugged and said Remus was feeling ill. Apparently stress could sometimes bring forward the sickness leading up to his transformation, or apparently it could not, for Cassy suddenly very much doubted Remus had been unwell at all.
After a time, the pair returned to eating. The conversation moved on and at the end of the next hour, Tonks looked more genuinely cheerful than she had when she stepped through the door. The happiness did not last long. The front door soon opened and two voices, not just that of Sirius, filled the old house. A low rumbling tone of amused disapproval wove through the old floors and into the drawing room and Tonks stiffened. Cassy said nothing as the other quickly began sealing the takeaway containers again and stuffed them into the plastic bag. She brushed the rice from herself at last and gave Cassy an awkward smile.
'I'll leave this here with you. I should really be off,' she said quickly.
'Tonks,' called Cassy and the other span to face her. 'It really is not the end of the world. Any man who is not a fool would be glad to have you.'
Tonks gave her a quick half-smile before she vanished on the spot. The faint pop was muffled by the oncoming footsteps and laughter. Through the open door, Cassy saw her father first and then Remus grinning. They turned into the room and Sirius greeted her brightly.
'The test went well?' she asked, eyebrow raised.
'I need to go back every fortnight for a proper analysis, apparently. My main therapist is a bit of a git. He wants us to go for family therapy too. He thinks it will make us bond or something,' he said as he dropped down onto the recently vacated sofa.
'No,' said Cassy flatly.
'That's what I said, but it was apparently added in as part of the court order,' he said.
She growled. 'When is it?'
'Monday,' he sighed. 'What's all this, anyway?' He waved a hand towards the plastic bag that remained on the table.
'Tonks was here,' she said simply. She cast a quick eye over to Remus to find he was already watching her. 'She brought lunch.'
'She didn't stick around long,' said Sirius, frowning.
'Help yourself to whatever is left. Hello, Remus, feeling better today?' said Cassy without further explanation. She slipped past Remus and out of the room. The rustling behind her told her that Sirius was indeed helping himself to the food, but he then called out, forcing her to halt. She turned and lingered in the doorway.
'We need to think of tasks to "bond" over for Monday or they are going to assign us something, although they still assume you are living with Tonks,' said Sirius. 'So, give that some thought whilst you rummage in the attic, will you?'
Cassy's eyes lit up and narrowed. 'You can always teach me to be an animagus.'
Before he could reply, Remus cut in with a sharp cough.
'Sorry, Mama Mooney says no,' said Sirius grinning.
Remus rolled his eyes and Cassy narrowed hers a fraction further. 'We will see.'
Sirius laughed.
The next two days brought little in the way of any development of Tonks and Remus' relationship, but it had brought news of Cassy's OWL results. It was not the grades themselves, instead it was a letter announcing she had met the standard to participate in the new Alchemy class. The letter meant two things: first, that at least four other people had decided to reply and had reached the grade, and second, it meant that she had Os in Transfiguration, Potions, and Ancient Runes.
Dear Ms Black,
I am pleased to inform you that Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry will be running a new course for NEWT entry students. Alchemy will be conducted by a new member of staff, Professor Fa Sun, who has agreed to a part-time teaching position specifically for the new sixth year class.
However, as you have already signed for seven OWL classes, in order to start the Alchemy course, you must agree to discontinue one of your current choices. If you go ahead with this, please write back with the listed class by August 31st.
Kind regards,
Professor McGongall,
Deputy Headmistress.
It was with regret that Cassy replied that she would be dropping Care of Magical Creatures. She was only too aware that Hagrid would be waiting for them all to appear, but with her now having dropped the class, it left only Neville. Harry had dropped the lesson on the fact that he did not enjoy it, he only faked enthusiasm because Hagrid was his friend, while Hermione had seven other NEWTs as she insisted on taking Arithmancy – Hermione had stopped replying to her letters when Cassy had called it useless and nothing she could not learn from a good book or common sense.
Alchemy, however, she insisted, was a critically under-studied and undervalued area of magic. It was so underdeveloped that Cassy had begun to draw upon the basic theories in relation to Lycanthropy. Particularly with recent events, the study was an even more important undertaking than before. If she was able to master both Potions and Alchemy, she was confident she could do something to intertwine the two further in some manner.
With excitement, Cassy had spent much time pondering who else may be in her class. She tried to recall who was in her classes and who might have excelled enough to be accepted. There had been an initial buzz of interest amongst the fifth years because when alchemy was mentioned everyone thought of turning lead into gold and the interest in that had seen many people seeking Professor McGonagall in the final days.
No one had come to mind in particular, no one she was certain of, however, by the time the night drew in. Her mind moved on to potential materials the class might cover. She had a basic grasp already, but that did not stop her rapid preparations. Charts and papers were littered around her room. Great sheets of parchments were stuck to the pale blue walls with scrawling writing curling around meticulously hand drawn diagrams. Sirius had mumbled his daughter was a nerd, but she had merely thrown a ball of parchment at him and ignored his whines.
The two-way mirror was on her bed. The clock high on the wall had ticked around to one o'clock, yet she kept it within reach in case Harry called. Whatever Professor Dumbledore had collected him for was taking its time to complete. The Daily Prophet had a new theory on what Harry being the Chosen One every day for the last three weeks and it seemed Professor Dumbledore was finally going to involve Harry in exactly what it meant to be the Chosen One, years too late in Cassy's opinion, but she digressed that in favour of knowing Harry might finally be preparing for the inevitable role he had to fill. The anticipation of finding out what the late-night meeting was for was eclipsed only by her continuous work. The papers had taken over much of the floor and her desk. A tall stack of books occupied the chair, a mix of school books, old ones collected from various rooms in the house, and books gifted to her by Moody at her request.
There was no doubt in her mind when she approached him that she needed to ask for further guidance on the Dark Arts. He had only been too happy to comply, he was almost overjoyed at the prospect she was taking the initiative with her education, but it had resulted in several surprise curses being sent her way at the time of the first Order meeting that summer. Mrs Weasley had not been impressed. She was even less impressed by his suggestions on how they could renovate the upstairs dining room into a duelling hall for next summer.
The radio mumbled lowly, yet the sound of rushing footsteps sounded clearly from down the landing above. Cassy paused in her sketching and readjusted her dressing gown before brushing the non-existent creases from the thin material. With her bedroom door opened a fraction, she listened carefully to the low murmurs and dull thuds from downstairs. After a few seconds of shuffling, the front door shut again. The dull, low tones of male voices continued to rumble lowly; they faded when Cassy closed her bedroom door and looked around her room. Harry would know she would be awake until he arrived and a face to face conversation between him and Sirius was probably warranted after the hours to pair had spoken the day after the trial. Sirius was only too happy for Harry to know every proceeding in his new freedom and he was only too happy to hear it. So, Cassy allowed them to speak undisturbed while she busied herself tidying her room.
Why did I not learn a cleaning spell? She lamented as she shifted the heaps of papers from her floor to her desk. They would need sorting too, but that was unimportant right then. She mourned the fact that the only people she regularly saw to ask were normally her father or Tonks and neither were exactly the cleanliest, not when the house had so many house-elves occupying it anyway. That left Remus on the odd occasion he Cassy saw him long enough to ask but with his quiet avoidance helping clean the house the year before, she very much doubted he knew any either. She needed Mrs Weasley.
There was a soft knock on the door.
Cassy dropped the papers and peeked her head through the opened crack. She squinted.
'Can I help you, Sir?' she asked.
'Maybe?' said Harry, squinting back.
'I am afraid I do not allow strangers in my home, please leave,' she said.
'I know, I know, I was supposed to call, but I fell asleep while I waited for Dumbledore,' he said and rolled his eyes.
Cassy squinted for real. 'You could not even stay awake until eleven o'clock? Really?'
'It's very boring at the Dursleys,' he protested and she hummed. Harry stared down at her smirking face and pushed the door open. Grabbing her waist, he pressed his lips to hers in a kiss as burning as any Fiendfyre had ever been.
'If you can't remember my face after a week then I think we're in trouble,' he remarked.
Cassy thought that if that was how he greeted her after three weeks apart then they should be separate more often.
Instead of voicing that, she made a non-committal noise and waltzed back into the bedroom.
'Where did you go?' she asked.
Harry dropped himself unceremoniously onto her bed and sighed as he spread his limbs wide like a dog on ice.
'Dumbledore wanted some help recruiting a new teacher – Horace Slughorn, he said,' replied Harry with his eyes closed.
'Horace Slughorn?' she repeated quickly.
He turned to her with raised eyebrows.
'He's one of the best potioneers in Britain, a very well-connected man too. He is known for being able to get nearly anything he wants without ever being the centre of attention because of the amount of favours he had gained through the years,' she explained.
'Really? He just reminded me of a bloated spider with all his students as flies in his web,' he grunted.
Cassy sniggered. 'I have met him before, actually. A few times, the last being at Alphard's funeral. He gave me a card with his contact number on it.' She still had it, of course. It was buried away in a pot in her cupboard with all the other cards she had got that day. 'I just cannot believe Professor Snape will finally teach Defence.'
There was a pregnant pause and then Harry bolted upright with a loud groan. Suddenly, Cassy was glad Sirius had mentioned silencing charm on her door or else she feared he would be soon banging on her door demanding to know what that sound was about. Harry whined and flopped back down onto the pillows.
'I didn't even – I totally didn't – as if,' he mumbled, hands over his face. 'I don't want Snape anywhere near Defence. My best class is definitely my worst now.'
'How that thought did not strike you I do not know,' she said. She patted his leg patronisingly.
'At least I'll have private lessons with Dumbledore this year, that might make up for it,' he muttered.
'Pardon?' demanded Cassy. 'Private lessons?'
Harry hummed.
'It's about time,' she muttered. Her mind quickly made a list of all the topics the pair might cover. Defence and strategy would be the most obvious two. Professor Dumbledore had, after all, been engaged in numerous conflicts with Voldemort during his first attempt and of everyone it was Professor Dumbledore who he feared the most. There would certainly be value in knowing all he knew of him.
When Cassy turned back to pose her theory to Harry, his eyes were closed. His chest moved up and down slowly and deeply, his limbs spread across her bed as the lay in the very centre, fast asleep.
Cassy sighed.
I was going to have this up yesterday, but low and behold I found it had not saved when I wrote the first one and I had to rewrite it all. I was not impressed.
Anyway, thank-you for the lovely reviews all around. You guys certainly know how to lift a girl's spirits when she needs it! I am so pleased that people responded well to the Sirius/Jane back story. It was surprisingly easy to envision and was oddly easy to write, I thought it would be really difficult. I have officially 171 reviews on C. M. Black: Eyes of an Owl as of posting this chapter, which is amazing. I am so pleased with all of the responses I got for that year. I hope you have all stuck with me for another one!
Earlier than normal we have Harry back in the story and I dedicated quite a lot of time in this chapter to Tonks and Remus' relationship, or rather the lack of one. I tried to stick with cannon on it, but not much is revealed about it that I know about. Remus is being stupid about it, but I sympathise with his position a lot. There is nothing worse than feeling as though you will drag someone you love down with you because of your problems and Cassy reflects feeling heavily.
Let me know what you think.
Thanks!
