Alice lay on the bed in misery, for the baby's time had come, it was the day Alice would give birth to her first child. She knew that she was in labor.

Just then, Hatter walked in the room, were Alice was and smiled at her for a moment. He had used so many terms of endearment for Alice, but this time he was trying very hard to come up with a new term of endearment for her. He finally found something to say. "How are you feeling My Dear Sweet Wife?-" he was cut off by the sound of his stomach gurgling. He had just eaten and the acid in his stomach was breaking down the food, making it easier for him to digest. "I hate my flaws," he thought.

Alice looked up at him. "I totally herd his stomach," she thought. "But I'll just ignore it." Then she spoke up. "I'm in labor Hatter, I'm ready to have this baby," she said triumphantly.

"Oh, my, we must get you to the hospital," he lisped in relief that she hadn't mentioned his gurgling stomach.

After an hour the baby was born. It was a girl, her name was Colleen .

"Oh..." Alice sighed. "She's so precious."

Hatter looked down at the brand new member of the family. "Ah, that she is My Dear, that she is," he said proudly. "Can I hold her?" he asked softly.

"Yes, of coarse you can Love." Alice handed him the baby. "I am going to rest a bit," she said tiredly.

Hatter leaned over and kissed her forehead. "All right," he raspily whispered. He cleared his throat quietly and continued talking. "You get all the rest you need Dove. I'll be hear when you wake," he poetically said.

"Dove?" Alice thought. "That sounded...dumb... I wish he wouldn't ruin touching moments with his uncreativity." But never minding it she smiled at him and drifted off to sleep.

"Sweet dreams," Hatter whispered.

Two years later

One morning, Alice, Hatter and their daughter, Colleen went out for breakfast at McDonald's. When they walked in, Alice sighed. "(sigh), what a nice day," she said.

Hatter crunched up his nose as Alice sighed. "Um, Alice," he began.

"Yes, Husband?" Alice replied

"Did you brush your teeth before we came here?" he asked, dreading the answer.

"No," Alice said, simply. "Why should I? My breath didn't taste bad."

"Well, it smells pretty bad," Hatter said in great annoyance. " You should be part of the Brushing Teeth club, like me."

"Ugh," Alice scoffed. "What ever," she said looking away with her nose up. But neverminding him, she looked out the glass door. "Oh, look, Hatter," she said surprised. " It's your dance teacher, Miss Lorie."

Hatter looked out the door as well. "Oh," he said irritated at the sight of his mean dance teacher. "Yeah, her and her stupid dancing and piping group are doing a parade, advertising McDonald's. She asked me to volunteer, but I said 'no'," he lisped, unpleasantly.

Miss Lorie looked at him through the glass door, she looked very sad at the fact that Hatter wasn't helping her out.

"Look, look!" Hatter tugged Alice's sleeve. "She's sad that I'm not out there!"

"Oh, that's nice, Dear," Alice said, clearly occupied on something else. "Look at this foolishness, There are three posters up advertising Double Deckers, and one is spelled like, duble deccer, and the other two are spelled like, double decker!" Alice laughed, hysterically. " Who made those? Huh? I bet Barrie made them," she laughed as she mocked a foolish man that she knew.

Hatter laughed too. "Yes, probably, My Dear," he continued chuckling.

Now it was Alice's turn to crunch up her nose. "Hatter... oh... ew..." she said, covering her nose "Your breath smells like an old man's breath. You shouldn't be making faces at my breath because at least when I brush my teeth it smells like peppermint afterwards, not Old Man breath!" she spat. "And, just curious, are you part of the flossing teeth club too? Well you must not be considering that piece of black pepper in between your teeth!" she mocked.

Hatter looked humiliated, he loved to brush his teeth and floss them as well. He always felt like he had every bit of right to make fun of anyone that didn't brush or floss their teeth. But apparently, that wasn't an option anymore, considering he was getting old and had a hard time keeping his mouth fresh. "Oh, look," he said in means to change the subject. "That Fat Guy over there is doing the stupid deal, 'Buy 60 double deckers for 11.99 and get one free vanilla ice cream cone-" before he could finish his last word, he got a ball of phlegm in his throat, which sounded disgraceful. He quickly cleared it and looked at Alice to see her response.

She was laughing at him. "And now you get rust in your throat!" she teased. "You're just out to make yourself a fool today aren't you? Are you even embarrassed?"

"Hatter wiped the sweat from his wrinkly forehead. "No," he lied.

"Yes you are! You are all red with embarrassment!" Alice laughed even louder.

Everyone in the restaurant began to snicker and talk about the funny event taking place. "Look at that girl teasing her dad," a man laughed

"Yeah, I know," another man said. "Where is your respect for your dad, Kid?" he said, refering to Alice as the kid.

"What are you Idiots talking about?" Alice asked annoyed that they mistaked her husband to be her dad. "This is my husband! Not my dad!" she yelled. "He may be a bit older than I, but not old enough that you can't tell that we are married!"

The people all looked shocked at the fact that Alice and Hatter were Married, rather than Father and Daughter.

"Fine," someone finally said. "I'm sorry, I didn't know that he was your husband. Mistakes happen and you shouldn't snap like that at us. I mean, How were we suppose to know that that Wrinkly, Old, Thing was your husband? He certainly doesn't look like it," the man yelled.

Hatter was very embarrassed that the man had called him a Wrinkly, Old, Thing. He very much wanted to go home. "Alice, lets go home now, please?" he pleaded. We'll eat breakfast at home, I really just wanna go." he begged.

"Fine,"Alice huffed. "We'll leave. We shouldn't hang around people that are rude enough to point out our age difference."

And with that, they left McDonald's in a huff. Leaving the Offenders to their breakfast in peace.