Chapter Three

Bella

While I was forced to deal with my dad's hostility towards Edward I could avoid that of the Clearwaters and Blacks by staying away although unfortunately this only made their dislike deeper. It was horrible not being able to visit Sue, Emily, or even Jake. It was like losing yet more family members and I hated that they were forcing this on me. It only reopened a wound I thought had healed over the years, and now found it had been there all along festering under the surface.

Edward did all he could to help and I know he hated the fact his presence was making my life difficult but it was hardly his fault and I loved him, nothing mattered as much as he did in my world. I guess I'd fallen head over heels like the young girl I was.

The result of keeping away from the reservation was that I found myself spending more time at Edward's place instead, much to my dad's dismay but what could he do when Esme offered for me to stay there if he was working nights and I wouldn't go to Sue and Harry? I could have stayed home on my own but I knew he hated the idea of me being alone overnight. He'd seen too much in his career to be comfortable with that.

At first, I spent all my time with Edward and Alice, I still felt uncomfortable with Rosalie and Emmett although the latter was always friendly and Rose was at least polite but then I began to notice Jasper. He was the silent presence in the room, always around but never a part of whatever was happening. He never joined in the conversation but somehow I found myself becoming acutely aware of his presence.

I found myself watching him from the corner of my eye, trying to be discreet. If he was absent when I arrived or I didn't see him during a visit I felt strangely disappointed even if Edward and I had been together the whole time and I knew this must mean something, I just wasn't sure what or who I could talk to about it, certainly not Alice or Esme and speaking to Sue was out of the question.

Eventually, I brought up the subject in a roundabout way when Angie, Jessica, and I had a slumber party at Jessica's house. She had smuggled in two bottles of wine and not being used to it we were mellow by the time the first was empty and probably saying things we wouldn't have dared do at any other time by the time the second was half empty.

"How's Edward? You're so lucky Bella, don't you miss him when you're apart?"

I smiled and nodded but I don't think it was as believable as I had hoped because Angie gave me a strange look before changing the subject to movies we'd seen recently which gave me an idea.

"Did you see that movie the other night, the one where the girl was all mixed up about her feelings about her boyfriend and his friend. She was with the one guy but then found she had feelings for his friend too?"

Jess jumped in straight away,

"No, I must have missed that one but it happens all the time. You think you like one guy and then another comes along and bingo, you find yourself daydreaming about him instead. Does anyone want more snacks? I'm starving."

She went downstairs to grab some more drinks and snacks and no sooner was the door closed than Angie pounced,

"Are you having second thoughts about Edward?"

I tried not to blush but failed miserably,

"No, of course not. Why do you ask?"

"There was no movie like you described, we talked about the movies we'd seen yesterday at school and I remember you telling me your dad had withdrawn your TV privileges this week because you got a B in history. So….."

She was watching me closely and I tried to shrug as if it didn't matter that she'd caught me out in a lie.

"I was just wondering if it's odd to be so aware of more than one guy at a time, I guess."

She studied me, one eyebrow arched in suspicion,

"Well, I'd say it meant you weren't committed to the first guy which does happen. We all make mistakes and need to play the field a little. Care to tell me who has taken your attention from Edward? I mean is there anyone in school that can outshine him? If so please point him out to me. Hey, maybe you could point me out to Edward if you do break up with him."

I had to smile at that but I shook my head, unwilling to go into details,

"Not really, I guess I just can't believe someone like Edward would really be interested in someone plain like me."

"So, you thought you'd look around while you go out with him? It's as plain as a cherry on top of cream that he's crazy about you so I'm not buying that excuse, Bella."

Luckily Jess came back then, arms filled with cans and packets and the subject changed to less dangerous ground. I hadn't got anywhere but I was sure Angie would come back to the subject later and she was the one person I thought I could probably trust with my problem.

Edward

I hated being away from Bella even though I knew exactly where she was and what she was doing. I couldn't believe my luck in finding her and was going to ensure I held onto her. At first, things had been wonderful and Bella had been mine and mine alone but recently I had felt something change. The atmosphere wasn't the same and not for the first time I wished I could read her mind. Not knowing what someone was thinking was new to me and extremely frustrating, not to mention annoying. How was I supposed to put things right if I had no idea what was wrong?

Eventually deciding I needed some female insight into the problem I approached Alice as the one other person I could talk to who was close to Bella. She listened in silence as I stumbled through my thoughts and then sighed, shaking her head.

"Edward, you're imagining things. Bella is fine, don't project your own insecurities onto her."

"No, something has changed, something is different when she's here I get the feeling I don't have her complete attention."

Alice burst out laughing,

"I hate to break this to you Edward but you are not the center of the universe. From time to time Bella might actually notice and react to the rest of us, that's just life I'm afraid dear brother."

I eyed her suspiciously, was she making fun of me? I'd found it was useless to try reading Alice's mind when she didn't want me to. She could keep me out with an endless fashion parade or a loop of recited poetry in her head and she was doing that now.

"Oh no, Edward. If you want to find out what I'm thinking you ask me. If you want to find out what Bella is thinking then you are going to have to ask her. On the other hand, if you want my opinion then that's a different matter."

She had me hooked and the little minx knew it,

"Go on then, what do you think, Alice?"

"I think you should ease up, stop crowding her. Bella is young, she needs to spread her wings and if you don't back off some then you just might lose her. She's not a bird you can keep in a cage so stop trying to control her."

"It's not controlling to want to keep her safe."

"Safe from what Edward? She's a girl in a small town. Her dad's the chief of police. What do you think is going to happen to her? If you breathe down her neck all the time you just might drive her back to her friends on the reservation."

I froze, was that what Alice had seen? Was Bella going to drop me for one of the mutts? No, I wouldn't allow that, I couldn't, it was far too dangerous and I loved her too much.

I saw by Alice's expression that she had guessed my reaction to her words and she shook her head sighing in exasperation.

"You really are neurotic Edward. Stop beating yourself up and just enjoy what you have, while you have it."

"You mean while I STILL have it."

"Your interpretation not mine Edward. You asked for my advice and I gave it. It's not my fault if you choose to misunderstand."

What I heard at school the following Monday didn't make me feel any more secure. Bella didn't say much about the slumber party, just that they had a laugh and talked girl stuff but Angie's thoughts as she and Bella came out of the girl's cloakroom told me more. It wasn't what I had overheard while they thought they were speaking privately so much as the thoughts that accompanied the words. She was wondering who Bella had been referring to Saturday night and if things were OK between us. So, did that mean Bella mentioned someone else? Maybe a secret admirer? Or did Bella have her eyes on someone else? And if she did, what could I do about it?

Deciding that all I could do was to wait and watch developments that's just what I did. She didn't seem to show any undue interest in any of the other guys at school although she did spend a lot of time talking to Mike Newton in the cafeteria at lunchtime which was a pain as they had stopped close to the rest of the family so I was forced to make small talk with Alice about the latest paper the new Science teacher had given us when I could have been listening to Mike and Bella more closely.

The thought she might be interested in him was an insult, he was as dull as ditch water but I got the feeling she was distracted by his proximity and I knew for a fact that he was very interested in her so I would do my best to make sure we stayed clear of him where possible in the future. Alice noticed my mood and glared at me then turned away dragging Jazz off to the library although why was beyond me, they weren't even in the same year, maybe she was hoping he would write her science paper for her. Bad move Alice, he was an ace at history but I was better when it came to science. Still, their movement broke up the conversation between Bella and Mike and I was able to steer her away.

For the next week, I made it my job to watch Bella closely and monitor the thoughts of any boys she spoke to. Of course there were several of the guys who were jealous of my closeness to Bella, Mike of course, but Eric and Tyler both had the hots for her yet she didn't seem to be unduly interested in either of them and eventually I decided Alice had been correct, I was torturing myself for nothing and I tried to back off a little and give Bella some space. The trouble was I had such little experience with girls, none with a girl I couldn't read, and it was this that unnerved me, I guess.