Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or its characters.
A/N: Hmm, not much reviews, eh? I guess this is what I get for writing a sequel about a not-very-popular couple. Sorry if Cloud doesn't sound like himself. Now that I think about it, maybe I should've left Leon as the main character like in the prequel. What do you think?
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Ch. 03
When You Don't Hate Them
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It's the second day since Cloud came back. Everyone was skeptical when I had told them about Cloud's return. But when they saw him with their own eyes, I could've sworn they all would've fell on their knees in disbelief. When I watched Aerith approach Cloud and speak with him, I felt a twinge of pain and jealousy. I was more surprised that I would still feel that way when I saw them together. There he was, surrounded by his old friends. Cid's disapproving of Cloud's disappearance and Yuffie running in circles excitedly. I felt so alone standing outside that circle. But just when I felt like shrinking away, Cloud called out my name.
"Tifa?" The next thing I knew, he was standing right in front of me a little closer than usual.
"What?" I looked up at him, trying to ignore the fact that everyone was staring at us.
"Are you all right?"
"You've been asking me that since yesterday."
He chuckled. "You're right."
From behind Cloud, I could see Yuffie and Cid look at each other, shrug, then look back at us. Aerith just stared in our direction looking completely opinionated at what was happening. She just stood there, a sweet but sad smile across her face. I felt sad for her.
"Are you two just gonna stand there or what?" Yuffie broke the silence. "C'mon! We have a lot of catching up to do!"
With a grunt, Cid turned around and walked back to Merlin's house. Aerith followed him, accompanied by Yuffie. I walked a couple steps forward, but when I realized that my footsteps were the only sound being heard, I turned to Cloud. He rubbed the back of his neck, looking unsure of himself. I knew all too well why he wasn't going.
"I'd really rather not go…"
"Then where do you prefer to go?"
He gestured towards the bailey. It wasn't right to just leave everyone without telling them, and although I didn't want to force him I hoped he'd reconsider.
"Everyone's waiting for us. We should go." I urged.
He didn't move.
"Cloud…" I tried to convince him to come with me to the others. But he wouldn't give in at all. I suppose he knew how to get his way now by being stubborn. Eventually I decided to go with him to the bailey.
"You lead the way then." As I waited for him to get in front of me, he stopped in his steps for a second. He looked serious all of a sudden. I turned around to see what he had seen. Behind us, I caught a sight of Leon disappearing behind a corner. He must've come for something but when he saw us, he retreated. My legs reacted faster than my voice as I chased after him, but Cloud grabbed my hand before I could even take a step.
"Tifa, won't you come with me?" He made it sound like it was my only chance, and it probably was. I looked back to the corner, as if hoping Leon would reappear. When he didn't, I nodded and walked with Cloud to the bailey. Once we were settled, I asked him, "What's on your mind?"
"I wanted to know something."
I could only guess what it was that he wanted to know.
"Go on."
"…Before that, I want to apologize for everything. I went away when you needed me the most and I came back when you were going along fine. I'm sorry." His blue eyes gazed onto me. I stared back into them. They were so blue like the sky that I felt like I could fall into them. He turned his eyes away and stared at the ground. It was something he always did that I was used to seeing. But I wish that he'd look at me in the eyes more often.
"I don't really know how to say this… but after all that's happened, I don't think it's wrong of you to hate me."
"What are you saying?" I don't even know why I asked him that when I knew exactly what he was saying. He thought I hated him. And if I was right, he was saying that it was okay for me to hate him. "Cloud, what are you thinking?" I walked over to him as he continued speaking.
"Even if it's not my place to ask, please, Tifa. Don't hate me."
He pleaded as if I was his last hope. I don't know why he would sound so hopeless when Aerith surely was also part of Cloud's life. Though what he thought of her I didn't know.
"Cloud… I don't hate you." I bent down so I could get a look at his face. He was clearly listening to every word I spoke. "What about Aerith? I'm sure she's still a part of what you have left."
"…You're right." He sighed. "But she's different. No matter what I say or do, she'll always accept it. And she's someone who won't hate me. But because I was so cold to you before, I was afraid that just possibly, you might've hated me. I hate myself now for being so cruel to you, I'm so sorry."
"Don't say that. You have nothing to apologize for. I don't hate you and as long as I'm here, you don't have to worry about anything like that."
He looked at me with sorrowful eyes like a little boy. I smiled and held out my hand.
"Let's go."
He stared at my hand for a few seconds, hesitating. When he didn't move, I took his hand and gently urged him back to Merlin's house. Everyone was probably wondering where we had disappeared off to and may still be waiting. Cloud followed along quite willingly, but his feet dragged when he walked. Suddenly, he jerked his hand free from my grasp. I was a bit surprised.
"Oh, um… I've been dragging you around all day haven't I? I'm sorry." I hoped he wasn't mad or upset with me.
But he shook his head and said, "Is it all right… if I can be alone with you a little longer?" I blinked, more surprised than confused. I tried not to reveal that I still had feelings for him even though I was answering, Of course, in my head. The expression on his face was so calm. It was hard to read.
"If that's what you want." I finally answered. He led me towards the stairs of the bailey. When we were a couple stairs down Cloud began to speak.
"Your smile…" He said. "It's different."
"Hmm?"
"You look happier." He stopped walking and turned to me. "Is it because of him?"
"You mean… Leon?"
"Who else could it be?"
"Ah, well…"
He chuckled. "…I'm happy for you."
I stopped walking. "What do you mean?"
He turned around, confused. "What?"
"What do you mean?" I repeated.
Cloud smiled for the first time. But it was a sad smile. "Leon's been there for you when I wasn't. You seem happier with him." He closed his eyes. "I wish I could've been him."
I ran to him and clutched his shirt. "What are you talking about? Cloud, I… I still…" The words caught at my throat the same way it would with Leon. I just couldn't tell him. Not just because I had mixed emotions, but because I couldn't bear being torn away from Leon either. That thought alone began to tear at me, and I didn't know what to say anymore. I let go of Cloud and turned away.
"Tifa," he put a gentle hand on my shoulder. "Do you love him?"
I didn't answer. But he knew. When I glanced at his face, he looked so much in pain. Before I could get another look, he suddenly pulled me close. My hair brushed his skin as my face was buried against his shoulder. "…I've always loved you." He whispered. "I just wanted you to know that." A halfhearted chuckle escaped from his lips. "But I guess it's too late for that."
I shut my eyes. I felt hurt, in pain. I don't know how I'll face Leon after this. I loved him too. But I would never compare my love for him to Cloud's. Though every part of me wanted to rush to Leon for comfort, a small fraction of myself wished Cloud would have told me how he felt sooner.
