THREE

I woke to two shadows looming over me in a dark room. Their voices were hushed, but somehow they roared like a river in my ears. I strained my ears to hear over the throbbing pain in my skull. My eyes felt heavy and nearly impossible to open, much as the rest of my body refused to respond to my commands.

I made out a male voice. "How is she?" The left side of my body tingled and itched, and I longed to scratch at the pain.

"We can't keep her out for much longer. We'll need to keep her under constant sedation until...well." A second male voice responded. The room was permeated with the sickeningly distinct scent of what could only be a leech.

The door opened with a small click and light footsteps signaled the entry of a third person.

"Any changes?" This voice was female. I felt her approach the bed and the blanket thrown over me was pulled up higher.

"Not since she stopped screaming," The first male voice responded, his tone tense. "I'm not sure which is worse."

A small hand smoothed itself over my forehead. There was a sudden strange wetness on my cheek that I could not identify. I yearned to be able to reach up and examine it.

"Why did this happen to her...why?" The woman spoke, her voice breaking. I strained until I felt a finger respond to my urging, twitching slightly.

At my movement, the voices in the room stopped speaking abruptly, and I heard footsteps move closer and stop beside the bed, fiddling with...something. Soon, I felt a cold trickle in my veins, and the itch in my side slowly started to fade.

"I'm so sorry, Leah," The woman whispered.

At the mention of my name, the irresistible lull of sleep reared up once more and pulled me under.


Somehow I knew I was there, and yet, at the same time, I wasn't.

I knew I was because I could hear him talking. I didn't know who he was, precisely, but I knew that he cared. And he smelled like rain. He was whispering to me in soft tones, murmuring indistinct things that my fragile mind could not understand. I felt his presence everywhere, opening something inside of me and pulling it close. I clung it it, and somehow I suspected he clung to me as well.

And that was how I knew I wasn't truly there. Where my suspicions could have been confirmed as fact, I felt no telltale pressure on my hand, heard no comforting words in my ears. Instead, I hovered somewhere in between, pulling desperately at the anchor his voice had become. He could not hear me - he could not feel me. I waited in quiet melancholy for his presence to disappear.

But he never did.


The next time I woke, I was able open my eyes. The light that filtered in through the closed curtains was a muted grey, adding a veil of gloom to the room. The room was sparsely decorated with furniture in a cedar that matched the wooden floor. I knew this room - it was Sam and Emily's. There were soft snores coming from somewhere off to my right, and I longed to twist and identify the other person in the room.

It was a long while before I found the strength to sit up, intent on identifying the other occupant of the room. My arms were weak from lack of use, and I slid uselessly back down into the heap of blankets surrounding me. My left side flared in pain, and I must have made a noise, because the snores stopped abruptly and were replaced by heavy footsteps as the person drew nearer.

My curiosity quickly turned into incredulity once I realized that the person was none other than Jacob Black.

He opened his mouth as if to say something before closing it once again. I blinked slowly, wondering if he would disappear the moment I reopened them. He didn't. Instead, he stared at me, wide-eyed, hunched over me in a position that made it appear as if he were anticipating a sudden movement from me.

"What-" I tried to speak, but it resulted in a deep cough that burned in my chest. My fingers merely fluttered as I attempted to clutch at it.

Jacob's hand was suddenly on my chin, tilting my head forward as he held a small cup of water at my lips. Although the refreshment was welcome, I choked anyway. What little water there was ended up on the sheets and Jacob's bare chest as I sputtered.

Instead of pulling away, he drew closer, pulling me into a more upright position and patting my back gently. Eventually, my coughing subsided and I sagged into him as his pats turned into gentler strokes. Sensing my discomfort at his touch, he pulled away until only my head rested on his shoulder, his arm on my waist as he held me up. We sat like this for a long while, silent and unmoving.

"Why are you here?" I finally whispered into his neck. I couldn't say why I had let him hold me like this, when touch was usually foreign and unwelcome for me. I attempted to wriggle out of his grasp.

"Because you are." He replied simply, ignoring my efforts to free myself.

"You can let go now," I said.

"I know." I could almost feel him smirking above me.

I huffed in response. I felt him chuckle before the weight gripping me was suddenly gone and I found myself buried in the thick mound of blankets tangled on the bed once again. I opened my mouth to squeak in surprise and instead received a mouthful of cotton. Jacob's chuckle had now escalated into full blown laughter and he scooped me up once again, grinning madly.

"Not. Funny." I articulated carefully, grimacing at the lingering taste of cotton on my tongue.

He grinned even wider before loosening his grip once more and laying me back down, gently this time. He propped some pillows under my head all the while studying me carefully, a half-smile lingering on his features. I scowled, frustrated at my weakened limbs.

"What is it?" I snapped after a few more moments of this, feeling unnerved under his scrutinizing gaze.

"I never realized how much you meant to us before." His voice had dropped an octave, and his features matched the seriousness of his tone.

The tension that had seemingly become a permanent fixture in our conversations had returned. Instead of hovering above us, it had spread until it was the air. It swam through me dangerously, choking and constricting.

I felt my walls force themselves back up as flashes of what I last remembered before ending up here played through my mind. Oh. Oh. Oh. I turned my face to the headboard, tracing the swirling patterns in the wood as I avoided Jacob's ever-penetrating gaze.

"Leah…" he started.

Don't. I wanted to say back, but the words couldn't come. I breathed deeply, begging the tears that threatened to fall to stay at bay.

"What happened to you…" Jacob started again. I felt myself tense as the painful memories plucked at my heartstrings.

Stop. My inner voice shouted, yet I continued to remain silent. My eyes were roving over the wood faster now as I attempted to quell the emotion rising within me.

"I just…" he continued. This time, his voice was shaking.

Please. I begged again. I remained mute as my soul screamed. The room had begun to blur as I felt my eyes stinging.

"I want you to know that it broke me, too." he finished.

The tears scalded as they fell, etching reminders of my shame onto my face. Where I had once been calm, I was now faced with all that I had hidden so well for so long.

His fingertips grazed my cheek, and I shuddered. Soon enough, the shudder morphed into an involuntary sob. Even as I turned my head further into my pillow, his hand followed as he moved his fingers up and down, smearing my tears. In any other situation, I would have laughed at his cautious attempt to comfort me.

"We do care, you know."

Somehow, despite my breakdown, I found the ability to snort at this.

"Leah, look at me."

"No," I said, the pillow muffling my voice.

His response was to pull me up by the shoulders and turn me to face him. I flushed in embarrassment. No one had ever seen me this...vulnerable. Not even my mother.

I turned my face away and sniffled. Jacob materialized a tissue and used it to blot at my cheeks before holding it over my nose.

I turned to look at him, puzzled for a moment. He nodded at the tissue expectantly.

My looked quickly turned to outrage. "I am not-" I started before he pinched my lips firmly shut.

"Just do it."

I continued to glare at him in defiance.

"You are aware that we really do have all day, right?"

"Mmph," I tried to retort, but failed due to his hand that remained in place.

Mustering the dirtiest look I could, I blew noisily into the tissue.

"Better." He said, smirking as he finally removed his fingers from my mouth.

"I am not some weak child that needs to be coddled at every moment!"

"But you are our sister, and it's time we started acting like it."

I paused my rant at his words. They had called each other brothers, but none except Seth had ever called me sister. The concept of being cared for was...odd. I tested the word on my tongue, attempting to grasp the concept in my mind.

"You act like you've never heard the word before." Jacob's eyes were downcast.

Because I haven't. Not from you.

"I know things have been..." he hesitated. "Tense since you joined the pack. I'm sorry that we never fully...understood one another." He looked up at me, waiting for a response.

I gave none.

"Now that things have...changed..." He drifted off.

Meaning now that you know, I thought bitterly.

"We're here for you, Leah," He grabbed my chin, forcing me to look into his eyes. "Always."

"You really need to stop doing that," I huffed. "I can move my head on my own, thank you very much."

We both looked towards the door as footsteps approached. It opened moments later, and my breath caught.

Seth.

He was haggard in appearance. His hair flopped messily into his face, which was etched with telltale dark bags under his eyes. What was most startling, however, were his eyes themselves. They were haunted, masking his easy humor. His eyes slowly raised to meet mine and I quickly cast them downwards, unwilling to face what I knew would be reflected in his.

Jacob pulled away from me and stood up, making his way to the door. He squeezed Seth's shoulder briefly before disappearing into the hall.

I refused to make eye contact even as felt him move closer until he stood in front of me. I looked at his hands instead, which were clenched tightly at his sides. They were trembling slightly, the skin at his knuckles pale as it was pulled taught. A drop of moisture hit my thigh, darkening a spot on the flimsy nightgown I wore. I vaguely recognized as one of Emily's it from a shopping trip we had had well over a year ago. Another droplet hit the lace edging, tickling my thigh with its warmth. I looked up, startled as I realized that the droplets were tears. Seth's tears.

His face was bent low, his hair hiding his expression. Somehow, I found my weakened arms reaching up and tugging him forward until I had him wrapped in an awkward embrace. I pushed his hair aside and met his eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked.

How I could I? I wanted to say, but remained silent.

"All this time…" he choked on his words. "All this time and I didn't know."

I tried to say comforting words, but they would not come.

"I didn't know," He continued. "I didn't know and I didn't do anything - I couldn't do anything - because I didn't know. But I should have known, I should have known, but I was so wrapped up in myself and I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't know, I didn't know…"

I swallowed thickly. "Seth, I didn't want you to know. I'm your big sister," My voice broke. " I'm the one who is supposed to take care of you."

Seth began to sob quietly, taking my hand and gripping it tightly.

"No Leah," his voice was chock full of pain and despair. It broke my heart. "We're supposed to take care of each other. If you hurt, it hurts me, too." He looked into my eyes, his own still shining with tears.

The pain reflected in them forced a sudden onslaught of tears from my own eyes, his features blurring as I tried to focus. He shifted us around and he was soon holding me tightly around the shoulders.

"You're my sister," his breaths were shaky. "You're my sister."

I swallowed, biting my lip.

"You're my sister and went through all of that and I didn't know," his voice was growing hysterical. "He hurt you and you were in so much pain. I was right downstairs when you were in pain, I was right there, right there, and I didn't know. I didn't know and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry,"

His head was once again resting on my shoulder, and his sobs were even louder.

I want you to know that it broke me, too. Jacob's words echoed painfully in my mind. I patted Seth's head gently as I wondered who else it had broken.


Some hours later, I woke to find myself tangled in the sheets and alone once again. I vaguely remembered resting on Seth's shoulder with the vibrations of his sobs slowly rocking me to sleep. Stretching and sighing, I swung myself around slowly until my feet hit the cold wood floor.

I took a few tentative steps forward, wincing at the seemingly ever-present pain in my side. I rubbed it, surprised to find rough skin there. I moved slowly over to the long mirror propped up in the corner, and gasped loudly at what I saw.

The entire left side of my skin was covered in blistered, puckered skin. It itched and burned to the touch as I ran a disbelieving finger over it. It began on my cheek, criss-crossing my skin angrily, disappearing in my nightgown. I twisted, examining where it re-appeared under the nightgown's short hem, tracing the marred skin all the way down to my ankle.

"Oh my god," I breathed. What had happened? I racked my brain for answers before I recalled flashes of pain as the bullets had struck me, burning fur, the painful sear of my skin as I dashed through the fire…

I found myself pitching dangerously forward towards the floor, my limbs unnaturally heavy, before I suddenly wasn't. Instead, I was being held up by a familiar pair of strong arms once again.

"You need to rest, Leah," he said sternly as he lay me back down on the bed, to my obvious discontent. How had I not noticed Jacob's approach in my panic? "You have tons of morphine in your system - even for a werewolf."

"I can't stay like this forever. I need to-" his hand clamped over my mouth.

"I don't care. You've been out for days; what you need is rest." he held me firmly by the shoulders, barring me from rising.

"What happened to me?" I whispered once he had lain me back safely in the bed.

"You…" Jacob's eyes searched my own. "You were... burning... for a while. It was… bad." He fingered a singed end of my hair.

I closed my eyes and breathed deeply for a moment. "What… happened? After... I…." I trailed off.

"We...we had to call the leech doctor," Jacob said, looking away. "We kept you under for a week, making sure your body was healing properly. "We weren't sure you were going to make it, Leah," he added in a whisper.

He took my hand then, his thumb rubbing nervous circles on the back of my hand. I thought of a thousand things to say, stopping short of opening my mouth each time, knowing that I lacked the courage to broach dangerous territory.

"Where's Seth?"

"Out on patrol," he said, sounding tense. "He said to tell you that he would be back soon, though." His eyes were guarded, but I decided not to push the subject.

"Why are you here?" I looked up at him, but he continued to look down at the hand that he held.

"Because I want to be."

"And what if I don't want you to be here?" I teased quietly, hoping it would dissipate the tension of things unsaid in the room.

Jacob took the bait, snorting a short laugh. "You really think I care?"

My responding glare elicited a small chuckle.

I felt the bed creak as Jacob shifted his weight. "Listen, Leah. I was serious when I said things were going to change. We really do care about you, even though we didn't show it before. Which is why I'm changing that - right now." I heard him rustling before an odd shuffling noise sounded from nearby. Curious, I peeked over at Jacob before scoffing at the object in his hands.

"You're not serious," I said incredulously.

He shook the rectangular box in question, making the shuffling noise once more. "I'm dead serious."

"I don't even like Scrabble."

"You'll learn." He pulled the lid off of the box and began balancing the contents on a small patch of the quilt between us.

"You know, maybe I will take that nap you so highly recommend-"

"Nice try, Leah," he cut me off, opening the small pouch in his hands and tipping a handful of tiles into his palm. "We both know that sleep is the last thing on your mind, so we're going to play. Now sit up." He held the pouch out the me expectantly.

I crossed my arms in what I hoped was a stern stance. He raised an eyebrow, still holding the pouch out to me.

Sighing in resignation, I reached out and took it.


We played for hours. Jacob's patience grew as the time passed, much to my frustration. Yet a strange calamity had descended over us, tentatively weaving the seams of our newfound companionship.

The soft rays of dusk had begun to leak through the window before we paused to eat. I could hear the voices of Emily and several pack members talking quietly outside, although no one approached the room. I wondered how long they would continue to tiptoe around me like a fragile, broken thing.

I felt Jacob gazing at me, and I turned my eyes from the door, picking at my sandwich.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," he said as if having read my thoughts. "I can make sure that no one mentions it. Ever."

I was struck momentarily by the protective tone in his voice. "I know," I whispered back.

He nodded and returned to chewing.

"Jake, I… I just wanted to..." Thank you, I wanted to say, but the words would not come.

"I know," he said simply, looking up and holding my gaze. I attempted to smile back, although it came out as more of a grimace. From downstairs, I could hear heavy footsteps begin to make their way up towards us.

Our eyes never left each other, and we sat for long moments, staring at one another. We ignored the approaching footsteps until the door slammed open, revealing an somber-looking Sam.