Ok sorry people who enjoyed how my fanfic was going. I just got so lazy and gave up. But tonight I read over it and fell in love with it all over again..
P.S sorry for the typos in advance. I have a problem with my brain with see's words there when they aren't. My brain doesn't see the missing words, its automatically fills in the mistakes without the conscious picking it up.
Couple of days have passed and the waiting for Carlisles' results is killing me (not literally) but it is killing Edward, and our relationship. Edward refuses to touch me, just how things used to be. I'm starting to believe becoming a vampire was now useless, because now of what could be my power could result to Edward and I are to going back to the way we used to be, passionless and unsatisfied.
Afraid to touch me, afraid I might yet again fall to floor and have yet another episode, afraid to impregnate me….again. I know inside he is only upset because the one he loves and calls his soul mate is sick…in some different way. He worries for me.
I believe he worries for the same 'what if's' that were running through my head when I was paralysed. Will this condition mean I'm only half vampire? Will I live a human life? How long will this condition last for? When will it stop or what will happen when the thing that does it in my body fails and die? Will I die will it or will it live forever? Edward is never used to not knowing. Even Alice can't see it.
That is what frightens me! If Alice can't see it, does that mean that in future there are new creatures that she isn't accused to in my future? Like the future babies my body could allegedly still create?
So many questions with answers at this point of time, the only thing I can do is wait.
It is late afternoon and I am feeding Renesmee in my arms while I slouch on the couch watching the latest TV. Her bottle is almost empty which means she will soon be off the sleep; a full baby is a tired baby. Something I think is so adorable about her is she drinks with her eyes closed, so precious.
Carlisle says that she is the right weight and as healthy as a baby should be at her age, only good news I've received in what feelings like a long time.
I heard a knock on the door; it was Edward entering the front door which was the left of the living room. He entered confused, shaken and most of all, scared. His skin was as pale as I've ever seen it before.
"Edward, What is it? What's wrong? Please" I said quickly, disturbing Renesmee, knocking the bottle out of her mouth, she begins to cry, and wail. Her cries echoed through entire house but Edward is not moved by it, his face is comatose just like I remember the day we found I was pregnant with Renesmee on Isle Esme. I stand rocking Renesmee in the living room, I see Edwards eyes are empty, like his soul has been sucked back to the darkness of his mind where he thinks alone.
Jasper at that very moment flashes through the door, put his hand on my shoulder and looks at Renesmee where she slows begins to weaken her sobs.
"Come back to the house Bella, Edward needs to be alone. You need to hear the results now. Alice and I will look after Nessie…please Bella."
I look back at Edward who hadn't moved a degree. He just stood there like a tree with no wind.
The truth was revealed, Edward and my fears were confirmed. But not all was bad news, in comparison. Carlisle explained that whatever occurs me to have my "human/vampire" period will last forever, it won't kill me. At least that was the good news.
The bad news was I could still have babies. Vampire babies, to which end we know nothing about. Pure breeds, will they be stronger, bigger, faster and have more powers? But most of all will they grow up adults and what will their appetite be like?
The volturi will never allow it. They could never begin to comprehend it. Rightfully they are just as scared as I am.
Is it worth the risk? To creature one and see.
I heard a knock at the door, I was nursing Renesmee to sleep with a bottle. She was almost asleep.
"Yes, come in"
It was Rosalie. She appeared saddened as she appeared up and saw Renesmee in my arms. A precious little baby.
One thing she will never be. A mother.
"Whats wrong rose?"
"Bella, will you have my baby?"
