Standing there was actually the worst, I think. Every child from 9 till 17 standing in different squares. A guy read the game rules out loud. Sometimes I heard a new rule, but I wasn't really paying attention to it. After a long time he finely started the reaping of the tributes. He made it look like it was an honor if you were chosen. The public was restless, the peacekeepers also (they still didn't have their new guns, hehe). One single tear rolled down my cheek. Exactly seven years ago on this very same day my parents were executed.

'Kitty Manen!' The guy, who drew the names, screamed. Relived I let my breath out. This is my last time. Next year my name would not be in that jar anymore. I will be eighteen next year. I was really, really relived. Until… Until a little girl started to cry. I looked at the girl. She was wearing a white dress whit a lot of ruffles and bows. Her blond hair tied up in pigtails, also whit bows. I felt uneasy, she stood in the square of the nine years old. Another girl started to cry, she stood in the square next to me and she had the same blond hair. My unease grew. A woman screamed, my eyes immediately flew to her. She had also the same blond hair. Next to her a men collapsed. The woman held hands whit a little boy. The crying of the girl became hysterical. Her big sister cried whit her, held up by her friends. Peacekeepers walked to the square of the nine years old. The public became even more restless. I searched for the eyes of my foster mom. Breathing became heavy. I heard a scream. The little girl was dragged down by the peacekeepers to the podium. People stepped forward, held back by the peacekeepers. Screaming, protesting…

'I don't wanna mommy! I don't wanna go.' The tears rolled down like waterfalls. My mom dragged me trough the underground hallways. Everywhere I heard the screaming and running of people. 'I wanna stay hear mommy.' Still crying I dragged a plushy bunny whit me. 'Mommy where is daddy?'My mom said nothing. Just running through the hallways holding my hand so tight it hurt. And then the bombs started to fall. The first made me scream, the tears immediately stopped. Everywhere screaming people, the earth rumbled, the hallways trembled and dust came from the ceilings. My mom ducked over me, protecting me whit her body. I trembled and I didn't hear anything anymore, except a loud beep. I only felt the trembling, I felt the dust in my eyes and I felt the calming warmth of my Mother's body.

Someone bumped to me. I came back to reality again. The people where still screaming. I didn't know how long I had been out but the little Kitty was collapsing in tears on the podium, a sudden gunshot made the crowd silenced. In that second, in the sound of the gun, I decided many things. I searched for the eyes of my foster mom. The minuscule nod said that she knew what I wanted to do and that she approved it. Whit eyes like fire I stepped over the white strap that made the square. A few peacekeepers ran towards me, one glance and they stepped back. Everyone held their breath, I was so mad you could sense it. I walked to the podium. A peacekeeper tried to stop me.

'Move aside!' I groaned.

Whit big eyes the peacekeeper jumped backwards affright of the fire in my eyes. In front of the little girl I went through the knees and smiled. It was not a fake one it was a smile full whit pity. I pulled her up. 'Hello, little girl.' I said. 'Let's go to mommy, shall we?' She nod and smiled totally relived. I walked down the stairs. Again, peacekeeper came to me and again was one glance enough. I walked to the woman that had screamed. She was now looking at me whit big eyes. The little girl reached out for her and I handled her over to her mom. Without hesitating I turned around and walked to the podium again. Everyone was silent, even the peacekeepers looked at me whit shocked eyes.

'From now on I will be the female tribute for district 12.' I said whit a loud and clear voice that didn't tolerate any contradiction, even though I trembled from the inside…

'Uhm… eh… yes, okay. We- we will go on then.' The guy who had drew the names said totally lost. 'Ehm, well the f-female tribute is chosen, ehm… w-what exactly was your name again?'

'I did not say it and I'm not willing to say it, but since it's necessary. The name is Avalon Daisan. Remember it!' He watched me whit an open mouth. It made him pretty ugly haha. Trying to get back on the reaping he struggled to search for words. The crowd was still restless, the peacekeepers became nervous. Totally relaxed I stood on the podium watching over the crowd, avoiding the eyes of my foster mom. A little bit commotion caught my attention. A guy, standing in the square of the fourteen years old, stepped forward. The peacekeepers didn't do anything they were confused because of my behavior earlier. He walked to the podium and climbed the stairs. He copied me.

'From now on I will be the male tribute of district 12!' He said and his proud eyes flew over the public.

I smirked at the daredevil. The edge of his lips curled. Without knowing him I understood that he would be a pretty terrific ally. The reaping guy looked at him again whit his mouth dropped. 'B-But I didn't… I still haven't… the name…' I almost pitied him. Poor guy doing his best and than two little brats came. HAHA! Serves him right! Stupid Capitol, underestimating the will of people. The guy shut and opened his mouth various times before he could find the right words. 'You two can go to…' he waved to the peacekeepers in order to take us. They brought us to a random chamber in the mayor house and the guy (I didn't know his name) went to another room. Suddenly my foster mom came in. my heart skipped.

'I'm sorry.' I looked down at my feet.

'You couldn't do anything else, could you?' she said whit a sad but proud voice. And I suddenly realized that this was probably the last time seeing here.

'Yeah.' Mu voice broke and finally since seven years I cried, not just one tear, they flew down my cheeks. The arms of mu foster mom felt warm and save and I totally lost it.

'I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I don't wanna die! I'm sorry. I love you! I'm so sorry. Please don't let me go, I don't wanna die, don't, don't leave me, I love you.'I couldn't talk anymore, but I sill said that sentence over and over again while the tears kept flowing. We stood there a long time she hugged me and kissed me on my head, making calming sounds. I cried until I had no tears and cried without tears.

It's weird at some point you have no tears to spill anymore but you still cry… and then you realize that it doesn't help, that the only thing you could do is to fight and to hope. At this point you realize that crying is pointless you reach nothing whit it. Only more pain, as you sadden the people around you. At that point you know you can't get any more miserable, the only thing left is "up". At that point you stop crying and the sadness fades and something else emerge something that gives you hope, something that no one can take away from you. The will to Fight, will to Survive, will to protect Everything and Everyone. This "will" has a name, it's called:

Courage!