A/N: Oh my God. Words cannot even begin to describe how happy and overwhelmed I am by all your reviews and your reactions to the story! WOW! Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you!
Please remember that this is a short story. There is only one more chapter left after this one. I'm only focusing on Ana and Christian here, so I won't be going into deeper details about other characters. Also, please remember that I've marked this story OOC, meaning, Christian is not the only one who is out of character Everyone has been giving guesses about Jack and what he'll do, but please, keep in mind that I try to steer clear from the canon characters as much as I can.
Enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think!
Chapter 3
Ana POV
3 months later
I can't stop smiling as I drive to Christian's place. We've been together since that night in his hotel room 3 months ago, and I can honestly say I've never been happier. Well, except for the fact that I have to sneak away to see him and the fact that we have to hide our relationship from the world.
After all, I'm still a married woman who's cheating on her husband with his business rival. However, in all these 3 months, I've never felt one ounce of guilt about my affair with Christian. I know for a fact that Jack is still seeing his mistress, proven by the fact that he just left on a business trip for 3 days but he didn't take his laptop with him.
He never goes anywhere without his laptop.
I snort at my husband's now reckless behavior. It's like he wants me to find out that he's having an affair. I don't understand why he's been acting that way lately, but I couldn't care less.
I park my Benz next to his Spyder and quickly make my way to the elevator. I insert the code that takes me up to his penthouse and I can't help but smile at the giddy feeling I get in my stomach whenever I'm about to see Christian.
The second I step foot in the huge apartment, I'm pushed against the wall by my huge boyfriend and his lips are on mine before I can say a word.
"Mrs. Jones?" I manage to ask once I pull back to take a breath, but his lips quickly attach to my neck.
"At her sister's." Christian says between kisses as he starts to hike up my skirt.
"Taylor? Sawyer?" I gasp as he bunches it around my waist.
"Security room. Cameras are off." He quickly says before he drops to his knees and starts kissing up my legs. "Oh, fuck!" He gasps once he realizes that I don't have anything under my skirt, and what starts off as a giggle soon turns into a moan as he buries his face between my legs.
It doesn't take him long before he has me screaming out his name as my body shakes with one of the amazing orgasms that only he has ever managed to give me. Before I can even catch my breath, I feel him lift me up in his arms, and even though my face is buried in his chest, I know he's walking in the direction of his bedroom. Less than a minute later, I hear the sound of the door closing before Christian places me gently on his bed. I'm still trying to get my breathing under control, which proves to be a futile effort, because as soon as Christian takes a step back and starts removing his shirt slowly, I feel the breath hitch in my throat again.
For the millionth time since I met him, I can't help but think about how beautiful and handsome he is. His muscles are so ripped and defined you would think a sculpture carved them with his hands. The way his arms move as he takes off his shirt makes my core clench with desire, and I can feel the evidence of my arousal ruin the sheets below me.
"Open your legs for me. I want to see you." Christian command with that dominating tone of voice, and I find myself doing just that. "Touch yourself." He commands again, and even though I can feel my face burn, my fingers still find their way to my drenched sex and I slowly start rubbing that small bundle of nerves.
"Stop!" Christian says after a few long seconds, his voice reverberating through the room and through my body. My eyes stay fixed on him as he removes his pants, then his boxers, and even though I've seen him naked more times than I can count, I still feel my eyes go wide at his size.
He takes a few slow steps towards me before he crawls over the bed and covers my body with his, resting his weight over his arms as his elbows are on either side of my head. His eyes bore into mine, and I feel like he's trying to tell me something, but he's not letting the words out.
Feeling a bit overwhelmed by the emotions I see in his eyes, I kiss him, forcing both him and myself to close our eyes as we lose ourselves in the kiss. I feel him shift his weight as he moves one of his hands to rest over my left breast, and he starts to rub me over the thin fabric of my shirt.
Once the need to breathe takes over, he pulls away from my lips then starts kissing down my throat, making me throw my head back and let out a loud moan at the sensation. My fingers go straight to his hair as I wrap my legs around his naked waist, and I push him towards me, wanting to feel him closer.
He helps me out of my shirt and bra, and soon, we're both naked on the bed, making out like a couple of teenagers. His hands are everywhere, and so are mine. I grab his hard shaft and start stroking him slowly, making him let out a guttural moan against my breast, where he is sucking on my right nipple. I moan in turn when he gives me a gently bite, and my moan becomes louder as I feel his fingers move towards my heated core.
"I need you." I breath against his neck as I suck on that spot behind his ear, the one that drives him crazy. "Please Christian."
"Where do you need me?" Christian asks, and I can feel his smile against my skin.
He loves it when I talk dirty to him, and I'm not one to deny his wishes.
"I want you inside me." I whisper as I increase my strokes on his hard dick. "I want you to fuck me so hard I won't be able to walk straight. I want to feel you in me. I want to feel your cum dripping from my pussy. I want you all over me."
"Fuck, baby." Christian swears as his fingers sink inside me. He pumps me a few times before he removes his hand and offers me his wet fingers, and without any hesitation, I wrap my lips around them and suck, enjoying the taste of my arousal on him.
With my lips still around his fingers, he positions himself at my entrance and slowly begins to push his way in. He knows that I need a few seconds to adjust to his huge size, because no matter how many times we've made love, it's still a little bit painful when he first enters me.
He's the biggest I've ever had, not that I've had many, but damn if he's not the best either.
"Baby, I need to move." Christian says as he kisses my neck, making me only nod at him. I feel him pull back from me before he sinks back in all the way to the base, and I can feel his balls against my ass as he swirls his hips a bit. A loud moan leaves my lips as he hits the right spot inside, and I can't help but move my own hips against his.
When we're like this, in each other's arms, the world outside seizes to exist, and I couldn't care less if it blew up to pieces right now. The only thing that matters to me that I'm being loved by him, that I'm being worshipped by him. The only thing that matters is Christian.
I can tell that he's approaching his orgasm by the way his shoulders tense and the way his thrusts are losing rhythm, and that sensation alone brings me closer to mine.
"Harder!" I moan, and that's exactly what I get as Christian pulls all the way out of me before he slams back forcefully, making my entire body move back against the bed. "Again!"
And he gives me what I ask for, continuing to fuck me as if there was no tomorrow. It only takes him a few more thrusts before I'm screaming his name in ecstasy, and it's like my orgasm triggers his, because seconds later, my name falls from his lips in a moan as I feel him coating my insides with his cum.
Christian rests his forehead against my shoulder while I wrap my arms around him, as we both try to catch our breaths.
"Hi." He says as he holds his head up to look at me with a serene smile on his face.
"Hi." I manage to say once my breathing gets back to normal. "What a nice welcome."
"You should receive this kind of treatment every day, multiple times a day." Christian says as he wraps his own arms around me and moves so that I'm lying on his chest.
"We've talked about this, Christian." I say with a sigh, and I can feel his body tense at my words.
"Yes, we have, and you still haven't given me an answer." He says and sits up, making me close my eyes and take a deep breath.
"I can't give you an answer, Christian. I've told you this a million times." I say, and this time he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before he lets it out slowly.
"How long can you stay this time?" He asks, but the amount of venom in his voice makes me want to leave right now.
"He's out of town for a few days." I say as I sit up as well. I watch him as he gets out of bed and pulls on a pair of sweat pants, making me get out of bed as well and put my clothes back on. I follow Christian to the kitchen where he has a bottle of wine chilling next to a plate of cheese and fruits, and I watch him as he opens the bottle with so much grace it would ruin my panties had I been wearing any.
"How has your week been?" He asks after he gives me my glass of wine.
"I finished my book!" I say with so much excitement that his face breaks out in a huge grin.
"That's amazing baby!" He says and walks around the kitchen table to place a strong kiss on my lips then on my forehead. "When will you start contacting publishers?"
"About that…" I start and take a large sip of wine for liquid courage.
"What about it?" Christian asks, and the poker face he manages to put on in that split second tells me that I'm talking to the CEO right now, not to my loving boyfriend.
"I'm not sure I'm ready to do that now."
"Why not?"
"This is my first attempt at writing, Christian. I'm sure it's full of mistakes and no one in their right mind would sing me on to publish it."
"You wouldn't know if you don't ask."
"Jack said…"
"Don't mention his fucking name in front of me!" Christian snaps, making me flinch in surprise.
Ok! Where did that come from?
"Well, he said that I should work harder on my next book and then maybe that could get published." I say with a roll of my eyes.
"He's read it?" Christian asks, and I can hear the hint of hurt in his voice.
"You know he has access to my laptop. I found him reading it a couple of weeks ago. It's not like I willingly gave it to him." I say with a sigh.
Christian has been begging me to let him read what I've spent the last year writing, but I always refused. Besides, he knows that Jack has access to all my devices and accounts, that's why he got me a burner phone and he started up a new email account for me on the GEH server that no one could ever find.
"Can I read it now?" He asks, and even though I'm hesitant to do so, I know that if I refuse he's going to be hurt that Jack got to read it and he didn't. I really don't think Christian cares that Jack read it without my approval, but his jealousy of Jack knows no boundaries, and I really don't want to add fuel to the fire.
"I'll send it to you later today." I say, only receiving a nod in response.
"I have a phone meeting in 10 minutes. It shouldn't take long so feel free to do whatever you want until I finish." Christian says as he downs the rest of his wine and heads towards his office, leaving me confused about his sudden cold behavior.
As soon as I finish my wine, I make my way to Christian's huge library. It's where I spend my time alone whenever he's busy, and every time I come in here, I lose track of time between the books. I've always had a passion for books, and before I applied for the job at Jack's company, I had hoped to work in publishing, but then I got the job with Jack, and the rest as they say is history.
I reach for the laptop that Christian has gotten me weeks after we started seeing each other, and I log into my GEH email. It only has email exchanges between Christian and myself, and I smile as my eyes catch the last email conversation we had. It was just harmless banter between two people that reminded me of what I always thought a high-school romance would be like. I then log into my personal email where I keep a copy of my book, and I download it on the laptop before attaching it to an email addressed to Christian. I hover the cursor over the send button for a few long seconds, before I finally press on it with a loud fuck it resounding in my head.
I turn of the laptop and move to one of the many bookshelves in the library, and as I reach for the book I started last time I was here, I realize that my mind is going a million miles a minute and that I can't really concentrate on the words in front of me. For the past couple of weeks, Christian has been nagging at me to leave Jack, that he wants a set date on when I will pack my things and leave, and for the life of me, I can't give him an answer.
I really don't know what I'm afraid of anymore. For the past three months, Christian has shown me that I won't be alone when, not if, I leave Jack. He's said it on more than one occasion, that he'll never leave me, that he's in it for the long haul, but what I'm afraid of is that he might have fallen for me just like I have fallen for him.
We never said the words, but somehow, I think we both agreed that we won't let get emotions involved between us. That it'll be too messy if that happened. However, a month into our affair, I realized that I have fallen head over heels for him, and that what I had felt for Jack when we first met pales in comparison to what I feel towards Christian.
And still, I was such a coward that I didn't tell him. But now, judging by the way he's been acting lately, I'm afraid he's starting to feel the same. He's become more possessive, more jealous. I can handle my own emotions, by simply hiding them and acting like they don't exist. What I can't handle is Christian's. Yes, I do love Christian, but am I ready to leave Jack for him? I don't know. I don't have the answer to that question. Would it be fair to Christian if I did leave Jack for him? Wouldn't he then be a rebound guy?
My mind is going on overdrive with all these unanswered questions; questions that I'm not ready to seek answers for at the moment. Yet, the thought of being without Christian threatens to suffocate me.
"I'm sorry I took a long time." Christian's voice breaks me away from my thoughts, and I look up to find him standing by the door, leaning his right shoulder on the door-frame and crossing his arms across his chest.
He's seriously the most beautiful man I've ever seen in my life.
"I didn't notice the time." I honestly say, earning a soft smile from him. One that always manages to make me go weak in the knees.
"I lost track of time as well." He says as he takes slow steps towards me. "I saw your email."
"Oh." I say once I grasp what he's talking about.
"I got sucked in and I didn't realize that I've spent over an hour reading." He says before he sits beside me on the couch and reaches for my now shaking hand. "I finished the first two chapters."
"Ok." I say, avoiding to look at him because I don't want to see the disappointment in them.
"Do you want to know what I think?" He asks, but before I can answer him with a loud no, he continues to talk. "I think that was one of the best things I've read in a very long time. And believe me, I'm not saying this because you're the one who wrote it. Those two chapters were amazing, and if you weren't here right now, I'd probably stay up all night to finish the book."
"Really?" I ask, too afraid to believe him.
"Yes, really." He says as he pulls my hand up to his lips and places a gentle kiss on my knuckles. "I seriously think you should look into publishing. It's not fair for your amazing talent to stay hidden."
"I'm not sure Jack will be supportive of that." I say, and I regret the words the second they leave my mouth, because I can feel Christian's entire body tense up beside me before he drops my hand as if it were a burning coal.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" He yells as he stands up and starts pacing the floor. "How the fuck can you even think about how he would feel and what he would do after everything he's done to you?"
"He's my…"
"Don't you dare fucking finish that sentence, Anastasia!" Christian says, his voice deathly calm that I'm actually scared of his reaction. He's looking at me with such angry eyes that, if looks could kill, I would be 6 feet under by now. "He shouldn't be your fucking husband. He shouldn't be your fucking anything! That asshole has been treating you like shit for over a year, and yet you stay with him. I cannot, for the life of me, understand why you're still with him!"
"I…" I begin, but I don't have the words to respond to Christian at the moment.
I really don't know why I'm still with him. I just know that I'm not ready to take that step yet.
"Are you ever going to leave him?" He asks after a long minute of silence, and I just stare at him with wide eyes.
"Why are you asking me this now?"
"Because I need to know, Ana. I need to know if you're planning to ever leave him or not. I need to know, because if this is how things will continue between us forever, I'm not sure…" He begins, but he doesn't finish his sentence as he runs his fingers through his hair and then tugs at it.
"You're not sure what?" I ask, and I can hear my voice shaking.
"I'm not sure I can do this anymore." He says after another long silence, and I gasp as I feel my heart drop to my knees. "I want you to be mine, completely mine. I want to wake up in your arms every morning, and I want your face to be the last thing I see before I sleep every night. I can't do this sneaking around anymore. I want to show you off to the world. I would marry you the second you sign your divorce papers, but you're not giving me a clear answer! Give me a date, and I promise to wait for you, but this uncertainty and unclarity is killing me, and I can't do this anymore!"
"Why are you doing this?" I manage to ask as I pray that the tears gathering in my eyes do not fall. "You've been nagging about this for a while now. Why? What brought this on?"
"Because I fucking love you!" Christian screams so loud that I actually flinch. "I've loved you since that first night, Anastasia. I never thought I could love after Leila, but you proved me wrong. You proved me wrong, yet you continue to break my heart every time you go back to him! Do you know how it feels to know that you sleep next to him each night? Can you even imagine how I feel every time you leave here to go back to him?"
"Yes, I know how it feels, Christian!" I yell back at him, knowing that yelling is better than the alternative, which would be me breaking down in tears. "I know how it feels, and you of all people should know that!"
"Then why do you keep doing this to me?" He yells back. "You're not happy with him, you're not happy with your life with him! Why do you keep doing this to yourself?"
"I don't know!" I finally admit in a loud yell. "I don't know why I won't leave him, but what I do know is that I'm not ready to do that yet!"
"But you are ready to end things between us." He states more than asks, and I can feel my eyes grow wide at his words. "You have a choice to make, Ana. Either him or me. What will it be?"
"Are you serious?"
"Yes, I'm serious. I'm fucking serious!" He yells again. "I can't share you with him anymore. I shouldn't have to share you with anyone!"
"Then you shouldn't have gotten involved with a married woman!"
"I didn't think I would end up loving you!" He screams at me, and once again, I flinch from the intensity of his voice and tone. "I didn't think I would end up having my life revolve around you! I didn't think you'd become the most important thing in my world!"
"Don't do this, Christian. Please." I finally say after a long minute of silence, knowing that I don't have anything else to say but beg for him to reconsider. "I love you. Don't do this to us."
"You obviously don't love me enough." Christian says before he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.
Hearing that suddenly makes my blood boil, and I jump to my feet and take a couple of steps so that I'm standing right in front of him.
"Don't you fucking dare question my love for you! You hear me? I might have loved Jack when we first got together, but whatever it is that I felt for him pales in comparison to what I feel for you." I yell as I poke my finger into his chest. "You're being so fucking selfish right now! You want me to leave him for you? Then what? What happens when you decide that you don't want me anymore? What happens when you decide that someone else deserves your love and attention? I don't have a job, Christian! I don't have any money of my own! I don't fucking have anything of my own!"
"Do you seriously think I'll do the same to you? Do you think so little of me?" He asks, and even though the amount of hurt and pain in his eyes threatens to overwhelm me, I don't back down.
"I never thought Jack would do it either, but here we are." I say and take a deep breath. "I thought Jack was the love of my life. I thought I meant everything to him. But guess what? I was wrong on all counts! He's cheating on me! YOU are the love of my life, and I mean absolutely nothing to him! Don't tell me that you'll never do the same to me, because you simply don't know that."
"Yes, I know that! I fucking know that!" Christian yells at me before he takes a step back. "I know that I will never cheat on you or leave you! I'm not the scumbag that your husband is! I can't believe you're even comparing me to him!"
"I would I be enough for you when I was never enough for him?" I yell back at Christian, the tears now falling freely down my face.
"Do you even hear what you're saying?" Christian yells back. "I'm telling you that I fucking love you! I love you more than anything else in my life, and yet you say that I will cheat on you! FUCK!" He screams that last swear word and tugs on his hair again. "I could kill him right now! I swear to God I could kill him!"
I walk back to the couch while Christian continues to pace the floor and swear under his breath, fully knowing that nothing I say right now is going to change his mind. I don't understand why he won't see things from my eyes, but then again, I know that it's not fair to him for us to continue doing this.
My eyes fix on him as he tugs on his hair, and it's as if my brain is trying to memorize how he looks, I look at him, all of him. The way his hair is all over the place. The way his muscles move under his tight t-shirt. The way his eyes are burning with anger and pain.
Finally, after what seems like an eternity, Christian stops pacing and turns to look at me, and the amount of emotions in his eyes cannot be counted even if I tried.
"What is it going to be, Anastasia?" He asks, making me close my eyes and take a deep breath as a lone tear makes its way down my cheek. I let out a loud, painful sigh before I stand up and walk to him, and judging by the shattered look on his face, he already knows what my answer is going to be.
I hold my hand up, silently asking for permission to touch him, and when he doesn't move away from me, I run my fingertips over his face before I run them through his hair. My eyes study his face closely, wanting to remember every line, every hair, every feature. I then stand on my tip-toes and place a kiss on his lips, and I can feel the tears now streaming down my face.
"If you believe nothing else, please believe that I love you. I love you with every fiber of my being." I whisper against his lips before I pull back. "But I can't do this. I'm sorry."
With that, I leave the library and quickly make my way to the living room, not wanting to stay back and see the heartbroken look on his face. I grab my purse and call for the elevator, and as I wait for it to arrive, the silence in the apartment threatens to suffocate me.
This is it.
This is where it ends.
Once I'm back in my car, I finally allow myself to break down. The pain I'm feeling in my heart right now is too much, and if I thought that seeing Jack with his mistress was painful, I now know that I was mistaken.
Because right now, I feel like it would be much less painful if my heart just stopped beating.
It takes me over an hour to get back home, when usually it would take me less than 15 minutes. As I make my way through my "home", it downs on me that I haven't felt at home in long months. It downs on my that the few times I've been to Escala, it felt more like home to me than this apartment ever did.
I realize that home is not about the place, but rather about who you share it with.
When I finally make it to my bedroom, I immediately reach for the shirt I once stole from Christian, the one I always kept hiding away from Jack and the one that I always wore at night whenever Jack was away with his mistress. As I hold the shirt close to my nose and inhale the final remnants of Christian's smell on it, I break down again.
"Oh my God, what have I done?" I ask no one in particular as the weight of breaking up with Christian hits me like a ton of bricks, and I realize that I've just lost the best thing that's ever happened to me.
I've lost the one person who has truly loved me.
As I curl on my bed, clutching Christian's shirt close to my chest, I let the sobs consume me, and the last thought in my head before I drift into a tired sleep is of grey eyes filled with pain.
