Darkness's Attempt

"Riku… Riku…" the darkness called with echoing whispers. "Riku…"

"Who is it?"

"It's the darkness. I've come to talk to you."

"Go away. I despise you. You ruined my life just as that Keyblade said you would."

"Come on, Riku, be reasonable. Our master needed smarter and more talented henchman. You happen to fit that description like a glove," it appeased. "Not to mention handsome enough for him not to mind possessing you."

"What?"

"Anyway, welcome to the evil side! Welcome to darkness! We're sure you'll come to love it here. Everyone does… or else. But, we believe evil will come naturally to you since you have white hair and all."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, the white-haired guys are always evil. Always."

"Really?" Riku challenged with disbelief. "Name a few."

"Well, there's our master Ansem, of course. And then there's Sephiroth. Oh, and Eyes Rutherford…"

"Who?"

"Umm… you probably don't know him…"

"It doesn't matter. I refuse to listen to you any longer. Leave me alone. Now."

"Please, Riku, we're on our knees here!"

"You're a bunch of darkness. You don't have knees."

"Oh, Mr. Technical, are we? Well, fine. See if we care. We try to do you a little favor, and what do we get? Nothing! Not even a simple thank-you! We could have left you to rot on that island!"

"Then the Keyblade would have helped me."

"That's beside the point. Besides, what would you do with a Keyblade? Do you even know what one is? How do you know it wasn't lying, huh?"

"I just know."

"Then why didn't you catch our lies, huh? Huh!"

"Shut up."

"Listen, Riku, we're on your side," the darkness whispered from all around him. Riku pulled his knees up to his chest, trying to block out their words. "We hate Ansem for lording over us. For making us do all the grunt work. Do you think we wanted to go to some island in the middle of nowhere to lure some riffraff of no consequence? Hell, no."

"You're lying," Riku countered, unable to shut them out. "If I were of no consequence, Ansem would not have sent you to bring me back. He needs me for something. Something you can't do for him. Something he can't even do for himself. You're just trying to soften me into cooperating."

"You're a very suspicious little blighter, aren't you?"

Riku remained silent.

"Very well. I suppose if we can't persuade you, Ansem will have to do it himself." The darkness, despite the physical impossibility, managed to sigh. "He won't be happy, let me assure you."

"It doesn't matter. He won't get any better results than you."

"Is that so?" a thunderous voice announced from beyond the shroud of darkness.

"How ominous," Riku muttered mockingly.

"Shut up," it replied crisply. "Bob, you failed, didn't you?"

"Who the hell is Bob?"

"Big Ominous Blob. Bob. The darkness. Oh, never mind. I'll deal with you later."

"Umm… he's a teensy bit more stubborn than we expected, being an angst-ridden teenager and all."

"Go to hell."

"See, Ansem? See what we have to put up with?" Bob whined, its voices echoing all around its white-haired captive. "We, who have unleashed the darkness within thousands of hearts and devoured those of the strongest wills, have to suffer the derision of a puny punk just in the midst of puberty."

"I'm not-"

"I see your pain, Bob, but I gave you explicit orders," the voice interrupted. "And, for Pete's sake, cut the crappy special effects in here, will you? When I seduce others to the darkness, I like to be able to see my own impossibly tanned hand in front of my face."

"Yes… sir," Bob sighed.

Instantly, the darkness vanished, collapsing into a delectably adorable figure that Riku couldn't even begin to describe. It teetered on its own feet as if drunk while its huge, luminous eyes watched him curiously. With the absence of surrounding darkness, the glow of natural firelight filled the room, illuminating the rather disappointing lair of evil.

Blinking his eyes to adjust to the hazy light, Riku could barely distinguish the outline of a tall man from the shadows. As his vision improved, he could see the man's long, white locks dangling close to his form. Looking more closely, the man Bob had called Ansem had very tanned skin, almost hidden beneath his bizarre attire. A strange heart-like emblem covered his chest.

"Well?" Ansem asked. His hand was extended, waiting for Riku to grasp it.

"Well what? I'm not taking your hand. You and your pathetic henchman-"

"Hey, now-" Bob began to say

"Have, in one fell swoop, kidnapped me from my home, taken me away from my friends, and dumped me in the biggest pile of rot I've ever seen. Is that moldy pizza on the floor over there?"

"I'm a bachelor, what do you expect?" Ansem countered, crossing his arms over his chest. "And I don't believe we "kidnapped" you. After all, you wanted to be taken; you asked us."

"Nuh-uh! You deceived me. You both said I could get away from those islands and see the world and have some adventure in my life."

"And so you shall. Just think of this as a pit stop."

"Your couch is growing some kind of fungus."

"Yes, so it is."

"It's still your fault!" Riku yelled, leaping to his feet gracefully. His sea-green eyes churned with fury like a tumultuous ocean storm. "You're like the guy parents warn their kids about, promising them candy if they'll just go for a ride with him."

"If I'm the stranger that promises candy, then you're the kid that went and bought the candy for me to bribe you with."

"Creep."

"Listen, Riku, we could play the blame game until the end of the world, but I have a much more compelling and notable game to play. Also, it's not as if you have anywhere to go. I'm not releasing you, and you cannot return on your own."

"So what, I'm just to sit here?"

"Well, if you decide to open your heart to the darkness, you'll have better things to do than collect dust on the floor."

"Darkness? You mean evil?"

"Please, I'm trying to evade any lawsuits with people who might think this adventure will lead their children into becoming evil by referring to evil as darkness. You're screwing up my plan."

"Whatever," Riku muttered with a shrug. He glanced over at Bob, who was currently making castles out of its own material. "Just how dark are you talking?"

"Somewhere in the range of dark charcoal to pitch black."

"Well, your minion is setting a fine example for you. You should put him on a poster. 'Darkness builds castles. Join us now.'"

"Your humor does not behoove you. Don't mind Bob; it is evil when I call on it to be," Ansem assured him. "We are currently in the process of coaxing several villains into the true darkness. It's only a matter of time before they are fully corrupted. At that point, the Bob you see now will be but a figment of your imagination."

"That's interesting," Riku said, trying halfheartedly to stifle a yawn. "Look, I'll join you for now but only because I'm bored and, as you noted earlier, there's not really anywhere else I can go. Though, I'm sure you realize I'm going to bolt the first chance I get."

"Duly noted. However, I'm certain once you get a taste of true darkness, you will not hesitate to devote your loyalty to us."

"Oh, really?" A mix of sarcasm and amusement underlined his words. "And what, pray tell, does darkness taste like?"

"Well, I'd say it's kind of a mix between chocolate and syrup," Ansem replied hesitantly. "What do you think, Bob?"

"Umm…" Bob paused briefly and nibbled delicately at its "flesh." "We'd say more like chocolate and honey."

"Well, there you have it."

"You guys are sad! I honestly think I might have better luck just sitting on the floor. See all the stages of decomposition without even squinting."

"Oh, come on, Riku, we were just playing along with your charade. Weren't we, Bob?" Ansem nudged the dark figure promptly with his shoe.

"Huh? Oh, right! Yeah, of course we were."

"Uh-huh," Riku murmured with disbelief.

"Well, anyway, welcome to the side of darkness, Riku," Ansem said, offering his hand.

"Thanks, I guess." He took Ansem's hand, the two shaking briefly.

"Yeah, welcome to the cool side, Riku," Bob added. "Congratulations. You're no longer a pubescent loser with angst but an awesome teenage member of darkness with righteous indignation."

"What fun," Riku muttered sarcastically.