Imagine Person A dies, and Person B continues to send them "I Miss You" text messages on their phone or calls them every day just to hear A's voice on their voice mail.

From the moment she almost jokingly announced she worked for an international drug cartel, Alex Vause oozed nothing but confidence, enchantment and a slight twinge of danger in her eye. She rarely showed fear – believing it was the number one sign of weakness. Piper could probably count on one hand the amount of times she'd witnessed the older woman cry in the five years they were together. These days however, Piper could count on two hands how many times she cried before she finally found the energy to fall out of bed. People always droned on about how loss gets easier, how after time you learn to appreciate the memories instead of wallowing in the piercing holes left as a result of the life slipping out from the love of your life's bloodied body. What absolute shit. Every day Piper has to wake up without Alex is a day she wishes she'd never awoken at all.

Throughout their relationship, Piper would constantly voice her opinion of how much she hated the cartel which would usually be met with Alex releasing an elongated sigh before shouting about how she doesn't complain when it's them stepping into first class accommodation to destinations half way across the world, only to be checking into five star hotels and explore places most could only dream of. Nights like that usually ended one of two ways; a night of screaming about how neither cared for each other anymore, or a night of surrender under the knowing that they were too tired to fight anymore. It was then they would proceed to fall into bed to express physically everything words could never elaborate. Piper would take back every five star hotel and every exquisite trip if it meant having five more minutes with Alex Vause.

The nightmares are yet to cease – it appears Piper is seemingly unable to escape the dark, bitter, toxic element of her mind she was unwillingly dragged into three months ago. Having been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder amongst an array of other things that appear to be a side effect of losing your 'person' as Alex had drunkenly branded her, it felt as though her memories kept themselves busy during the day as they readied their pounce for the moment she closed her eyes. It seemed a miracle that she was even sleeping; initially it took a heavy dose of medication just to bring fatigue onto the blonde's fragile state. She dreamt of that night; the way they had been so happy – both slightly tipsy, just enough to be buzzed to allow a greater appreciation for the world around them, and of course each other. It was then they'd shared a heart-felt kiss, both wallowing in the euphoria circulating through their veins. Initially the attack hadn't registered with either of them – the loud bang that followed the fire of the bullet was presumed to be from somewhere near by – a police attack or something else that wasn't' affecting their lives. It took moments before Piper registered Alex's suddenly lip body and the growing warmness that was her blood seeping onto the new off-white dress Alex had flown in from Italy in celebration of their nearing six year anniversary. The attacker was still as of yet unknown, to the police that was. Piper wasn't stupid – she knew a few of the males within the ring were growing ever more intimidated by Alex and the growing power she had within the workings of the cartel; she knew it was more than likely one of those sick monsters acting out in a moments rage triggered by overwhelming jealousy of the fact that people within the workings of the cartel can in fact be happy, an alien concept to most. Her blood curdled knowing that Alex Vause died that night in her arms having whispered of how she needed to continue living for her sake and of she loved Piper more than she ever dreamt possible.

Few things provided her the tranquillity and peace of mind that became something of a dream these days, however on her particularly bad days; Piper would resort to sheer acts of desperation. At first it happened by total accident, it seemed as effortless as breathing – typing in her number before sending a simple 'I love you.' It was only when she was skimming through masses of condolence texts did she realise the person who's reply she was most eager for, was never going to reply. It was then it turned into a last resort on days she couldn't see past the swirling darkness of her mind; she'd sit typing effortlessly about how much she loves her, reminiscing on her favourite memories or even something as simple as telling her about her day. Piper Chapman was a survivor; she was bred from a fine line of survivors, and whilst she most certainly would never admit it, she knew she had to keep living. She had to do it for Alex's sake.

She ended up doing just that; deciding to finally take Polly up on the offer of pursuing their own business, they set up PoPi which focused on the sale of completely organic soaps, they even went as far as naming a limited edition range 'The Vause Effect' – the name held enough allure to customers for them to purchase it whilst it provided comfort for Piper as the shop spent what felt like forever filled with familiar scents she knew Alex loved. She would still sometimes fall into the habit of getting that little bit too drunk and spending hours on end dialling Alex's voicemail just to hear her voice out of fear of forgetting. Whilst she knew it wasn't the best way to cope, at this moment in time Piper faced life with the outlook of doing whatever helped her get out of bed in the morning. She took to texting Alex's phone regularly of a morning, just like they used to when Piper would be out on her early morning jogs leaving Alex to awaken to an empty bed. Sometimes she'd sit and type out how much she wishes she was sat on the couch opposite her because she was sat eating Thai takeout, a past time of theirs after particularly long haul flights.

Life without Alex Vause was unbearable; Piper felt as though there would always be a constant void she could never escape – an ever prominent emptiness residing in the back of her mind. Nevertheless it was manageable; Piper picked herself up and continued to live in a way Alex would be proud of. Sure, she had her particularly hard days, but what would you expect from someone who had been so cruelly torn away from the only person they'd ever loved? Yeah, life without Alex Vause was harder than Piper could articulate, but she relished in the fact she was lucky enough to encounter her at all and took comfort in the fact that one day in another life, she'd no longer have to resort to texts that were knowingly going unseen, because one day Piper Chapman and Alex Vause would reunited, and Piper couldn't wait.

A/N: ok so I know this is really bad and too angsty and I may or may not have shed a tear writing this but I'm just in a bit of a rut at the minute and needed to get it out. Hopefully updates will be a bit more frequent ASAP once my exams are out of the way xo