A/N; I guess I got bullied into writing more. I do have an idea to make it longer, but it might make this into an epicly long fic which was not what I intended it to be. But I have turned it into a musical, in true Hobbit fashion.
Summary: Fili finds himself intrigued by a certain body part of Sigrid's, and when he is caught staring by Tilda he is barraged with all sorts of nonsensical ideas such as a romantic union between their two people. Preposterous! [Hints of Figrid].
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A Preposterous Union
{part three}
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Fili had a rough ride back on his pony, reminding him on why he rarely travelled anymore. Sure, it reminded him of earlier days, side by side with his brother and the great quest to reclaim the mountain but fond reminiscing was all that was anymore. He had not the desire to keep moving, not now that he had a homeland.
He had no sooner reached the stables at the bottom of the mountain that he was grabbed by two rough hands and pulled from his mount and embraced with jolly laughing.
Kili.
He must have been waiting, which Fili supposed was nice, since when it was Kili out about the humans Fili almost never greeted him upon his return in the stables. It was a long walk back up the mountain through the winding stairs and Fili was glad for the company... well... all until Kili opened his trap he was.
"How'd it go dear brother?" Kili grinned roguishly. Fili knew that grin. He didn't trust that grin.
"Fine." Fili took the saddle from the pony and gave it a pat on its head. Somebody else was on duty to feed it carrots, and so Fili turned back to his brother without giving the pony much more thought.
"Just fine then?" What was he getting at? Fili's eyes narrowed as Kili continued his pointed interrogation. "How was the diplomatic Master of Lake Town and son Bain?"
"As you would expect."
"Aye, and his very pretty lasses? They as you would expect also?"
Sometimes it was if his brother was a mind reader, a very eerie quality that disturbed Fili greatly. Of course it was a ridiculous notion that his brother was a mind reader, and he didn't believe in any of that rot, but still the foul look that crossed his face must have given Kili some notion that he'd hit the target right on its mark this time.
Kili grinned even broader, shoving Fili as they walked through the stables. "The older one, she's really taken to being a high lady of Lake Town. Looks the part, doesn't she? Just don't think of the fact she came from the loins of Master Bard, a wee bit disturbing that is."
"I was thinking something else was a wee bit disturbing," Fili replied meaning the direction his brother's conversation was going.
"Oh, come on brother. There's nothing wrong with paying a bit of attention. I think you and Lady Sigrid could be splendid together, having little rendezvous in Lake Town, getting some sun on you..."
Fili decided he had to be firm but fair about it, before any more of this speculation got out of hand. "I don't want to hear any more of it, Kili."
And then his blasted brother had to go and sing.
It wouldn't be the worst thing,
If you liked a human girl
Sure, they're beardless types
With narley a groan or gripe
But you could give it a whirl.
Fili's foolish brother spun him around in an impromptu dance and then leapt unto the first step leading up the mountain, while Fili followed with enough distance to keep from being grabbed again.
It wouldn't be the worst thing,
If you admired the human-folk
There's many a thing
That the Men do bring
And I'm not just blowing smoke
Kili knocked on the wall to the nearby tunnel of the mountain, as if the racket of his singing wasn't attracting enough unwanted attention as it was. Noise did travel upwards, didn't it?
It wouldn't be the worst thing,
If you found one to be of taste
And a particular lass
Comes off not at all crass
One of the ladies of the Lake.
Not at all just a subtle hint to whom he was referring to there.
It wouldn't be the worst thing,
If you fell head over your heels
It might liven you up
And dear brother, that is enough
To keep me singing this song with zeal...
Fili glared at Kili and Kili wisely caught on to the added hostility in the air and promptly stopped the song. "Or not."
And so once again Fili's brother managed to make one simple little thing into a big deal, and not only that but a humiliating big deal as others may have heard him singing the reprimanding song as if there was something wrong with the way Fili operated.
"Give it a rest, Kili." The blind, idealistic fool would have to get a lesson of his own. "She belongs with her people, and I belong with mine. Besides, Uncle already has Bard on his bad side, and what you're proposing would not do the relations between Erebor and Dale any favors."
"Erebor and Dale," Kili scoffed. "Is that all you think about?"
How could he not think about it? It was their existence now, or at least it should be. Not so in the case of Kili, although there was a possible reason for that. "The elves have addled you brain."
"And being Crowned Prince Under the Mountain has made you boring."
"So this is what this is all about? My entertaining of you, the bored Prince Kili Under the Mountain?"
Kili shrugged, "Of course is it, what else do you think it would be about?"
"I will not pursue a daughter of Men as a source of entertainment because you have so little to do."
"Do it for whatever reason you wish to do it, I do not care. But I think you're protesting too much prematurely, unless the though had already crossed your mind."
"Preposterous, brother. Why would I think on such things?"
"I cannot say. Maybe you're lonely. Maybe you would like something to further change your fate from becoming like Uncle Thorin. It's all just something to keep in mind."
If there was anything worse than Kili flapping his trap about things he did not know, it was Kili making a valid point. Fili didn't want to give Kili the satisfaction, however, of knowing this was so. Therefore with a, "We shall speak no more on it" they travelled up the rest of the mountain in silence until they reached their living quarters.
…And now Fili had that blasted song in his head.
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I think Tilda and Kili may be in cahoots...
