I do not own Glee.
The weeks following their daughter's birthday were difficult for Kurt and Blaine, but both men tried their best to make it through. Blaine tried his hardest to stay happy and not let his thoughts get him down, and Kurt tried his best to be open and not keep his feelings bottled up when he was feeling sad. It worked alright for the both of them... but, simply put, they still just wanted one thing.
A baby.
That was what would truly make them happy.
But until that happened, they were just trying to make it through. It's all they could do, really.
/~/
"Boo, have you and Blaine thought about fertility treatments?" Mercedes said one day as she and Kurt chatted on the phone. The countertenor was on a lunch break from work and decided to call his friend, figuring he needed a talk with his girl. "I hear they work well. My friend Sidney and her husband just had some treatments done and it worked perfectly on the first try. They're having triplets, actually."
"Yeah, but for men-"
"It could work, too. You know it could. Don't tell me you haven't looked into that," Mercedes said in an 'I-know-I'm-right' tone. "I'm sure that curious little mind of yours has been on google more than once to look it up."
"Well-" Kurt sighed softly. Damn. She was right. "Well... yeah."
"I knew it."
"Course you did."
"I'm serious, though." Mercedes said after a moment, letting out a soft sigh. "It could work for you and Blaine. You guys could... well, you could have a baby."
"You... think?"
"Mhmm." Mercedes could hear the hesitancy in her friend's voice, but it didn't stop her from continuing. "You should think about it. Bring it up to Blaine... I think he'd do it. All you have to do is talk about it."
Kurt nodded, despite the fact his friend couldn't see it. He could bring this up with Blaine, because it would help them have a child. They could finally have a baby...
But...
Would Blaine really do it? Would he let a doctor poke and prod at him? He just didn't know; maybe his husband wanted to conceive without a doctor's intervention and do it naturally. But considering that hadn't been working for them... Maybe... Maybe...
"Kurt?"
"Huh?" Kurt blinked a few times before realizing that he'd been lost in thought and not saying anything. "Oh... sorry, 'Cedes, I zoned out there for a second." He let out a small laugh then before glancing at the clock, realizing that his lunch break was nearly over. "I've actually got to go now."
"Yeah, same here, actually. But you call soon, okay?"
"You know I will."
"Take care, Kurt. Love you. And talk to Blaine!"
A small smile crossed his features. "Love you too, 'Cedes... And I will, I will."
That, however, was easier said than done. Many a time, when Kurt was about to breach the topic with his husband, he seemed to freeze and change the subject. He could never get the words out. He knew how touchy the subject of children could sometimes be, and with Blaine trying his hardest to beat his depression, Kurt was afraid to say something that would upset his husband. That was the last thing he wanted to do- Blaine had been doing so much better for a few days now.
"Well?" Mercedes asked during one of their calls when the conversation started to die and the singer decided to change the subject, "What did Blaine say? Did you talk to him about it?"
There was a pause, and Kurt, who was realizing what his friend meant, was struggling for an answer. "Uhhh..." He let out a breath, "Well, yes." He finally just lied, knowing that Mercedes would give him the whole spiel about fertility treatments again if he didn't, "But we're still just thinking about it right now."
The little squeal of excitement on the line made Kurt wince and he immediately felt guilty for lying as Mercedes exclaimed, "He'll do it, boo, you know it. I'm so excited for you two!"
Sighing softly, Kurt closed his eyes. "Yeah," He barely whispered, "I'm excited too."
It went on like this for a few weeks. Mercedes would ask if there was anything new, Kurt would say no, and try his hardest to steer her away from the fertility treatment conversation. He would chatter about work, other friends, and even ask Mercedes how her own pregnancy was coming along, even though it made him feel rather jealous to do so. The jealousy also made him feel guilty, for he knew he should be happy for his friend, but he just couldn't help it. He had a reason to be jealous, after all.
/~/
It was a few weeks after his initial conversation with Mercedes that Kurt decided he would finally bring up the suggestion of fertility treatments to Blaine. No skirting around the subject anymore, no being afraid to tell him. He was just going to do it. Yeah.
He decided, one Friday evening as he gathered his things to leave from work, that he would tell Blaine the next day. Maybe the two could have a nice relaxing day at home, filled with snuggles and movies and he could bring up the subject...
It sounded like a good idea to him, so with a small smile he made his way out of the building and towards home, finding himself in a surprisingly good mood despite the fact he was little nervous about what tomorrow would bring.
When he arrived home he stepped inside, a smile spreading across his face as he stood a deep breath. It smelled like... garlic bread and pasta sauce. That meant that Blaine was cooking, and when Blaine was cooking, he was in a good mood. "Honey!" He called cheerfully, taking off his coat as he moved towards the kitchen. "I'm ho-" He stopped in surprise when he saw that the kitchen was empty, the pots of sauce and noodles on the stove abandoned. Huh. He headed towards the living room then, thinking maybe he could find his husband in there. "Blaine?"
Smiling slightly, he was delighted to find his husband sitting at the small computer desk in the corner of the living room. He was turned to the laptop in front of him, so Kurt just assumed he hadn't heard him come in. "Blaine." He said as he stepped closer, wanting to greet his husband with a hug and a kiss now that he was home.
Blaine still wasn't responding, however, so Kurt tossed his jacket aside and hurried over, freezing when he saw the computer and realized what was going on. Blaine was sitting there, eyes wide and hands in his lap, as he stared at the laptop screen. It was opened to a page that Kurt recognized immediately- it was one he'd been frequenting lately- and he let out a breath when he realized he had left the web browser open by mistake before he left for work this morning. Oh shit.
Shit, shit, shit! He hadn't wanted Blaine to find out like this! He should have made sure he closed out the homepage of one of the local fertility clinics that he'd been looking up this morning, but he had apparently forgotten in his rush (considering he'd been running a bit late). And now his husband was just staring at it. "Blaine..." He said slowly, not sure what he should say. He didn't know what Blaine was thinking or how he felt about this, and he didn't want to do anything that would upset him. "Honey?"
Finally, as if he'd been broken from a trance, the other man snapped his attention away from the computer. His eyes were wide and his face was pale, and for a moment Kurt couldn't help but think that his husband looked a bit sick.
"You, um..." He started in a whisper before pointing a trembling hand towards the laptop, "have been looking into... this?"
Kurt nodded as his gaze flicked to the screen and then back to Blaine. "Yes," He murmured. "I was going to talk to you about it."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Oh."
A silence followed, but after a few moment the loud beeping of a timer pierced the air, causing the two the jump.
"That would be the garlic bread." Slowly, Blaine stood and moved towards the kitchen with a hesitant Kurt trailing behind him. Another silence fell over them at the shorter male pulled a pan of bread from the oven and placed it aside before he picked up a spoon to stir the pot of bubbling sauce on the stove.
Kurt merely watched before he turned to one of the cabinets to get some plates. As he headed over to set the table, he realizing his mind was racing with what felt like a million questions and worries. Blaine hadn't really said anything about the page he'd seen. He hadn't really mentioned the possibility of doing fertility treatments. Was he waiting for Kurt to say something? Was he upset that Kurt had been looking into that? Was he angry? Was he considering it? Was he going to bring it up? Was he... was he...
"It's ready."
Kurt was snapped from his thoughts and he looked up to see Blaine placing a plate of bread, along with a bowl full of pasta and noodles at the table. He then sat down in his usual spot and let out a soft sigh, just staring at the food.
This concerned the countertenor. "You okay?"
Blaine nodded as he finally reached out to take a piece of the bread. "Yeah," He murmured, "I'm just tired."
"Okay." Kurt sighed and began to serve himself some pasta.
It continued on like that for a few minutes, with Blaine just nibbling at his bread while Kurt kept sneaking worried glances at him. He could tell just by his actions that Blaine was deep in thought.
"So," The countertenor decided to try, "Do you want to... talk?"
Blaine's gaze flicked from Kurt towards the living room, a clear indication that what he'd seen on the laptop was on his mind. "No." He murmured, rising from the table with a small shake of the head. "I think I'm going to bed now. I'm tired." With that, he walked away and towards the bedroom, leaving Kurt staring after him in worry, hurt, and confusion.
Well... Blaine found out himself before Kurt had the chance to bring up fertility treatments. Do you think he'll warm up to the idea and talk about it? Should he?
