disclaimer- I dont' own anything here, just the idea.

A bit of a filler chap, but it does have important points to it. My goal is to have this couple in love with eachother soon...very soon. One can only hope.

Revised 8-5-2010


Three Words

Chapter 3

Saix stared down at the empty dark city. His eyes gazed down at the many building, the long empty alleyways, the many shops with not customers, and those lovely bright lights. He really enjoyed the lights; they were the only sign that told him it was day. Also, they brought color to the otherwise colorless word.

Saix glanced at a particular alleyway. Someone was walking down it, someone in the usual dark robes. Perhaps a fellow nobody? Saix could recall the few times were he walked along in the huge city. It was rather calming. He squint his eyes just a bit, trying to make out who it was.

Roxas? No, that couldn't be it…

The robes were definitely familiar, but the shape of the body didn't seem recognizable at all. Saix leaned forward a bit, trying to catch a better look. It didn't help much. Saix stared at the hooded figure, wondering who it could possibly be. The figure was tall and broad, so he automatically assumed Lexaeus. Who else could it possibly be? Saix decided to avert his gaze and focus on something else…


The Superior. That's who Xemnas was, and for good reason too. Xemnas stared hard at the mirror, staring deep into those amber eyes. He was the Superior. He was the strongest, wisest, most capable…hell; he created the very world that he and the other nobodies lived on. He was the Superior, and he deserved the title. That was his title…it had been placed on him and no one else.

But that was the only title that had been placed on him. He was given one thing, and that was to be leader. Not a dear friend, not a lover, not anything else. He couldn't be any of those things; it just wasn't meant to be…

Xemnas closed his eyes, imagining those two sad yellow eyes that belonged to Saix. What titles was the man given? Surely he was an outcast, that was a given. Of course, the only reason Saix was seen as one was because he had placed that title on him…the other members knew Xemnas had feelings for him. But what was Saix himself? What role was he to play, if not something special to him?

Xemnas opened his eyes. He stared at the refection. What a graceful man, he thought, yet, he could be so cruel, though he hardly ever showed it.

Another thought had entered his mind. He chose his position, true, but there was another part to that. Everyone had agreed to it. Everyone in the organization obeyed him without question. Saix was a perfect example. If Saix would play a different role…no, that wasn't it. He would give him his role; he would decide what Saix would do, just as he had with other members in the past. Nobody questioned him; they all knew better to. Saix would be the same…

But was that a good idea? He cared for Saix, the sight of him in pain, would it be worth it just to have him in his arms? Or was he just being selfish?

Xemnas looked at the mirror, thinking about the whole world he had created. His world. The world he let the other nobodies live on. He wondered whether or not Saix was down there. Saix enjoyed being alone or lost in thought. It gave him inner peace. Xemnas gave a small smile at the though. He didn't want to lose Saix… physically, and emotionally.

But…

As a nobody, there could never really be a good combination of the two. And Saix really believed that he lacked the ability to feel, so it's not like he could have him emotionally to begin with. So, what he would be doing wouldn't be all that bad, right? He would look out for Saix, care for him, it would be as if they were together, just Xemnas would have to be on top of the relationship. And since Saix was in this strain of believing he couldn't feel, Xemnas could honestly say he was doing this for the mans own good. He could say all sorts of things, and guess what; nobody would dare question him.

What an evil thought. Truly, this was Xemnas' worst side, a side he never showed to anyone else. But he would soon, to Saix, that is.


"It's raining," Marluxia said from inside the castle. Saix had been staring at the city for awhile, then it began to rain…and he still stared. He was deep into thought right now. But he had heard Marluxia's shouts and decided to turn around to face him.

"Yes," he asked.

"It's raining," Marluxia said again, slightly raising an eyebrow. "You can catch a cold if you keep standing there…I mean, just look at you, you're soaked!"

"What do you care," Saix said in a very uninterested tone. He turned around and looked down at the city. It was dark and there were no longer any lights. Night.

"Well, excuse me," Marluxia said. "I was just trying to be a little decent. You should learn to do the same."

Saix sighed, trying his best to ignore Marluxia. The nobodies have been less cruel to him since he had been with Xemnas. Although he and Xemnas hadn't spoken in a few days, since the "conversation", he had still been treated as if he was still with Xemnas. Perhaps they didn't know? Or maybe they did?

And then Saix realized something, something special about Marluxia.

"Marluxia," Saix said in a very upsetting tone. He didn't want to ask, but at the same time…

"What is it," Marluxia said. He sounded a bit upset.

"You can't feel, right," Saix asked in an oh-so serious tone.

Marluxia sighed, as if a child had asked such a foolish thing. "I think you out of all people should know the answer to that," Marluxia answered snidely.

"But you always give the impression that you do," Saix said defensively. "You're always so…eccentric, and you…you…"

"I what," Marluxia asked.

An embarrassing feeling filled Saix's chest. God, he did not want to have to be the one to ask. It was so unlike him. But he had to know…

"You're always…flirting…with Number IV," Saix said while looking away. He scratched his head.

"What of it," Marluxia asked.

"I want to know," Saix asked, "what drives you? You know you can't feel, but you give the impression that you care for him…even when he hardly ever returns the favor." Saix sounded a bit desperate when asking. His face was beginning to redden a little. This was just so unlike him. What was he doing? Why was he doing this again?

Xemnas…

Marluxia's expression had changed. He no longer held the somewhat cruel look on his face. He seemed a bit more understanding. He appeared to be a bit kinder, more sympathizing.

"Why do you want to know," he asked cautiously. "It's not like you to be asking something like that. You're usually more…"

"Placid, emotionless, stoic," Saix said the words for Marluxia, " Yes, I'm aware of that."

"So why the sudden change?"

Saix thought for a moment. Why did this matter to him? Why was this just so important?

Xemnas…Xemnas…

He left the man in the dark city, alone, hurt, and without a good reason. He left there, not knowing why he had to be left alone. He was terrible.

"I want…," Saix drifted off. What did he want? Xemnas? His friendship? Things to be normal again between the two?

"I want to love him…"

Those words sounded so strange coming from him. It felt as if they didn't belong. Strangers. Even Saix himself found it odd. But not Marluxia. His expression had not altered. He seemed to understand completely, as if he could understand these strange foreign words.

"Is that it," he asked, "You're truly serious about this…?"

"Yes," Saix said in a more confident tone. He had to be sure. Something like this couldn't be taken lightly. He didn't want Xemnas to suffer; He wanted him to be happy. He wanted so much. But he wanted to be true about it. He wanted…needed to know what he was doing was real.

Marluxia leaned forward and stared hard at Saix. He smiled.

"You really want to know," Marluxia asked playfully.

"Yes," Saix said again.

"Well," Marluxia said, "In that case...there is absolutely nothing I can tell you."


Xemnas looked down the long open window. It was raining again. It was always raining in this world. Why? He had seen other worlds, worlds with light and clouds, worlds with stars…things his world lacked.

The world was a lot like him. It lacked simple things, things that make something complete. His world lacked stars, he lacked a heart. But soon he would have everything…starting with Saix.

"You called," Vexen asked.

Xemnas turned around and faced Number IV.

"Go find Saix," Xemnas commanded. "Tell him to report to my office immediately. "Tell him I will not accept any excuses."

Vexen raised an eyebrow, but dared not question his Superiors strange request. He bowed his head in respect and teleported off to go find the other nobody.

Xemnas once again turned around, continuing to stare out the window. Such an incomplete world…but soon, it too would have a sun. It would a true day. And he would have Saix. A real win-win situation for him, and with time, a win-win situation with Saix.

Saix was indeed an innocent soul. He would fight back, no doubt about it, but with time he would learn to accept. He would understand; especially if it was coming from the Superior. Sure, it wasn't the way he wanted it to be, but was there really any other choice? He needed the Luna diviner, and Saix needed him, he just didn't know it yet. But he will.

Even if he had to be the one to teach him...


Saix stared at the two large double doors that lead to Xemnas' room. He felt rather sure of himself for some odd reason. Especially after the talk with Marluxia…

"What do you mean?"

"I'm sorry," Marluxia had said in a very calm tone. "But there is nothing I can really tell you."

"But I need something," he said in disappointment. "I can't just tell myself that this is love."

"I do," Marluxia said.

"What," Saix asked.

"I know I can't love," Marluxia said, "But I know what love is, so I know I can try to experience it. I look at Vexen and I know that what I feel is close to love, so I tell myself its love."

"But what if it isn't," Saix asked.

"What if it is," Marluxia asked the upset nobody. "We can't be sure unless we have our hearts, but until then, I'll rely with what I have."

"And what do you rely on, Marluxia," Saix asked.

Marluxia pondered the idea for a few moments. He shrugged a little before finally speaking to the patient man.

"I guess the right word would be…"

"Hope," Saix said. It was such a weak, pathetic word. Worlds fell apart, wars were lost, people died using such a weak notion. But when you come down to it, what else could he rely on? Sure, it was just hope, but it was also just hope that made Saix believe that one day, Kingdom Hearts would reveal itself. He had to believe in it.

Saix knocked on one of the huge doors. The door opened slightly, Saix took it as an invitation to enter.

Saix walked into the huge room, looking around for his Superior. He had so much to talk about. He wanted to talk to Xemnas so much. Try to fix things between them, to revive their friendship…or more. Saix stopped in the middle of the room. He seemed to be the only one in the room. Or so he thought.

"Number VII," Saix heard the familiar voice. He turned around to find Xemnas right behind him, leaning gracefully against the wall. He noticed the two amber eyes staring straight at him. Staring hard. "You came," Xemnas said. "Good."

Saix felt a cold chill run up his spine. Something was wrong. Xemnas hadn't called Saix by his number in a while. And the way he said it; it seemed so cruel.

"Number I," Saix said. He figured Xemnas was still upset. Maybe he should apologize first before trying to make amends. But first things first! Xemnas had called him, so something important had to be taken care of… "What did you need to talk about," He asked in a calm matter. As calm as he could possibly be in this strange, strained situation.

"I've been thinking," Xemnas answered. He began walking over to Saix, his eyes still holding the rather hateful look. He was angry.

"Thinking," Saix asked. Saix wanted to back up a bit. This definitely wasn't right.

"Personal matters," Xemnas continued, "between you and me, of course." He stopped suddenly. "You look nervous."

Was it that obvious? Saix swallowed. He was beginning to feel uneasy, a very bad thing when you're a berserker.

"Well," Xemnas said, "At least you're on your toes. That's good."

"It is," Saix asked.

"Yes," Xemnas answered," Especially since you should be nervous right now."

"Pardon?"

"That's why I can't help but find myself attracted to you," Xemnas said. "You're smart and very attentive…strong…but…"

But?

Xemnas met eyes with Saix. Once Saix took a good look at the two eyes, he knew what was going on. Angry, lustful eyes.

"Xemnas," Saix said nervously. He backed up a bit.

"It really is such a shame," Xemnas said. He grabbed Saix's wrist, keeping a strong grip. "You really do set yourself up, it's like you ask to be harped on by others." (Ugh)

Saix felt his whole body stiffen. He had no idea what to do. Surely, he couldn't fight back; he wouldn't stand a chance, and fighting against the superior wasn't exactly a good idea. Could he try talking it out? Would it work?

"Why do you do this to yourself," Xemnas asked, rhetorically. He yanked Saix closer to him. "Why do you let this happen?"

Saix opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He couldn't speak, not matter how much he wanted. Fear…

"It doesn't matter," Xemnas said. "You don't have to worry anymore, Saix."

He had finally said his name, but now Saix wished he hadn't he felt his blood rush. He felt himself loosing control…

"From now on, you'll never have to worry," Xemnas said. "I'll be the one to make these important decisions. Go ahead and hide your emotions, I'll express them for you. Go and be silent, I'll give you word. And don't worry about not knowing what love and pain and such, because I'm about to teach you right now what they are." He pulled Saix even closer, till the two were only inches apart. "Starting with the worst."

Saix felt agonizing pain as Xemnas forcefully pushed him against the wall. He coughed out all his air, his chest in pain when it had made contact with the concrete. Saix felt the world around him slowly beginning to spin. Dizziness taking over. He needed to fight back, go berserk. Maybe he would stand a chance.

"I wouldn't recommend that," Xemnas said, "don't make this any harder on yourself. Look where it got you…surely, you don't want it to get any worse?"

What was he suggesting, that he give up and submit? Could it even possibly get any worse? Did he really want to risk it? Saix closed his eyes and felt the energy booming in him subside.

"That's good," Xemnas said in his usual tone. "Listen and I can guarantee that you will learn…"

"Why," Saix asked.

Xemnas raised an eyebrow. He chuckled at Saix and sighed.

"Because I care," Xemnas answered. Was that really true?

"Is this really something you do to someone you love," Saix asked. Saix felt Xemnas' grip loosen a bit, not by much, but enough to ease some of the pain. He stared at the white wall, frightened and unable to look Xemnas in the face. What look was the other one wearing? Did he manage to get to Xemnas?

"Saix," Xemnas said, "Sometimes you have to hurt the ones you love, for there own good." He leaned on top of Saix, his face brushing against Saix's. "I'm doing this for you…"

Saix felt himself sink; physically, mentally, possibly even emotionally. This was it. He was going to lose himself to Xemnas…like this?

"Say those words," Saix said weakly. "Say them…for me…"

"What," Xemnas asked.

"I need you to say them," Saix begged. "I need to know so…so it will hurt less."

"You deny me," Xemnas said, "and now you want me to say those three words." Xemnas let go of Saix. He grabbed one of his shoulders and turned him around. The two eyes met. Frightened and sad staring right into determined angry eyes.

"I love you," Xemnas said. Something was wrong here. Why did it sound like that? "I love you. I love you. I love you." Xemnas pushed Saix against the wall, forcing a hard kiss on the others lips.

Saix closed his eyes. It felt so real, but it was all so fake. Did Xemnas truly mean those words? Was this really legit?

"I want it," Saix said softly. Whether Xemnas heard him say this was unknown, but what he said after that; that, Xemnas did hear. Not that it stopped him. A moments pause, then he continued…

"I want to love you…,"Saix whimpered. "Even after this…"


Maybe it's just me, but are all my XemSai fics that messed up that there needs to be a rape scene or some sort of violent scene with them in it. I'm rereading this, and it just surprises me that they seem to follow the same sad equation. It's a real shame since I really enjoy this pairing.