Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist


Human Again

Edward sat in his room and watched the rain splash against the window sill, not bothering to close the window. The small droplets fell through into the room, like small invaders, touching his bed and soaking his world. He was back on the floor, wasting away in the robe he had been wearing for three days now. If he took it off, he would have to see his misshapen body, the same went for showering.

Ed thought amusedly that if he didn't open his robe, he wouldn't have to deal with what was under the warm fabric. It was just like with his automail, as long as he had long sleeves and gloves, he was normal, like everyone else.

Don't be stupid, this is different.

Ha! This was so completely different he didn't know where to start. Even if he ignored his newly shaped breasts and hips, this place was more than he could handle. Hughes was alive, Gracia was single and they all spoke this foreign gibberish where the only word that they all knew was 'London'.

"London, London, London… so it wasn't a dream after all. I'm back in this, this… afterlife of which I don't even think exists." Ed leaned back slowly until he was looking at the ceiling with his head resting on the cool wooden floor. His hair pulled uncomfortably so he fanned it out around him before returning his hands to lie on his stomach. "Dad…are you still trapped here, in this absurd world where shadows of people walk around where they have no right to?"

No answer came, but Ed wasn't expecting one. He stretched out his arms and legs, looking as if he were about to make a snow angel but remained still. The ceiling wasn't anything special to look at. It was grey, possibly derived from a distant white colour from ages long past but faded like everything else in that dreary world. Ed examined the walls and even the small painting on the wall. They were all monotonous in contrast as if there was a grey silk screen between his sight and everything else.

"Heh, it's like when you first wake up. Everything is blurry and dull… Does this mean the sun is too sleepy to put things into focus?" Ed paused and sat up abruptly. "That's it! I'm losing my mind. A 'sleeping sun'? HA!"

He ran his two flesh hands through his loose hair and savoured the feeling of it lightly touching his right shoulder. Isn't this what he always wanted, to be whole once more? Did he really expect to make Al whole again without some cost? Being in a strange world would be the price paid for Al and being female was just the price paid for himself. Now everything was even, balanced and equivalent.

"I did it... that's the only reasonable conclusion... I. DID. IT... FUCK YEAH!" Ed grinned and stood up. He did it. He did it. He did it. Ed spun around the room with his arms stretched out. He whirled faster and faster until he was overcome with vertigo and fell back to the floor with a loud thump. His robe fell off his shoulder exposing some of his chest to the window's cold breeze.

"I guess I can't stay in this room forever... or in this robe. Plus, I think I stink," he said to himself, examining his light green robe tie momentarily before letting it fall back to his side. He picked it back up again and gave it a sharp tug, pulling the loose knot free. "It's time to face reality. I never hid from it before and I'm not going to start now."

He walked out of the room and into the empty house. He knew the Gracia who was not Gracia would be in her flower shop, so the coast would be clear. He padded softly down the hall, taking the robe off slowly as he entered the washroom.

It was simple in colour with pale pink flowered wall paper. There was an oval mirror above a simple sink. Ed was happy this house was equipped with what looked like new plumbing pipes and water fixtures. He knew in Amestris a lot of places only had plumbing for the sinks as toilets were still a novelty in. Ed paused while looking at the white toilet and thought he better stop comparing the two places.

There was a large tub with a pipe that had a shower faucet at the end. Ed dropped his robe to the floor and gathered a towel. He draped it over the mirror before he could see himself and stepped into the large tub, another luxury compared to the rest of the house. This Gracia who was not Gracia knew where her money was best invested. The bookshelves were simple, the dishes were plain, but the facilities were the best he had ever seen and well used.

Ed stood there considering the shower nozzle but then smirked. He wasn't in a rush for once. He stepped out of the tub and turned on the hot water to fill it for a nice bath. The small shiny tray the hooked across had an assortment of bottles and a few various textured sponges.

"Which one of you is bath soap," Ed demanded of the collection. He knew bath required a soap like ingredient but it had be ages since he'd last had one. He was used to the dorm showers on base or just rivers. Bathing properly was a comfort he never had time for.

Ed picked up a jar and read the label. It was gibberish just like the language spoken. He grunted and opened the jar to see it was full of pink crystals. Ed gave them a sniff and decided they would do. He poured half the jar in and waited. Nothing happened at first so he reached his hand in and stirred them around. It took only a few large circles before they dissolved, making the water a pink shade that matched the walls. Were baths supposed to be pink?

"Well at least it looks more...bath...ly? I remember my Gracia having these salty things by her tub too so I guess they are a bath... condiment? Whatever, time to stop smelling like old cheese and cotton." And with that, Ed lowered himself slowly into the warm pink water.

It was strangely tingling and he was tempted to jump back out, but decided against it. He was just probably so grungy that the crystals had to work extra hard to clean the dirt layer off to get to the grime underneath, then the dust under that. Eventually, Ed would get to the skin layer again, he knew it.

"Okay, now to catalogue the exact changes. I can't expect to live without knowing my own body," he stated out loud and looked down quickly before returning his eyes back to the wall. "Fuck, why do I feel like a pervert!"

He sank into the water until only his face was above the surface. The tickling crystals were dying down now, leaving him feeling especially clean. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, allowing himself to sink completely. The water cooled around him as he floated back to the surface.

Okay, okay, I'm not a pervert. This is perfectly normal. People can touch their own bodies as much as they like, so I can too. I'm just checking for wounds... that's it. Fuck, I'm so screwed.

He sat up with a disgruntled sigh. This was ridiculous. He took his hands and deliberately grabbed his breasts. Nothing happened.

"See? Nothing to it." He told the room and squeezed. They felt a weird type of pain as the rough behaviour and the cool air combined to make an entirely new sensation Ed couldn't describe even if he wanted to. Instead he concentrated on what they felt like to his palms.

They were so soft he looked curiously to see if it was in fact his skin. He let go and his hand left red marks. "Okay, lesson one: never squeeze."

His nipples stood erect in the cold air so he flicked one. An almost electric and defiantly painful shock rippled through his nerves and he squinted. "Lesson two: no flicking in the cold, fuck!"

Ed gave his small breasts one final poke and went on to see what else was different. His straight line body was now curved inward under his ribs and then flowing out to his widened hips. He ran his hands up and down these new sloping sides with a critical eye. How was he supposed to wear pants?

He was further confused with how his legs were so thick that the top and gradually came in at the knees. "Lesson three: I'm shaped like a curvy diamond. I guess that's what Havoc was always talking about when he said he liked his women 'hourglassed'. That's all fine and well but how am I supposed to put on pants? They'll never get past my thighs!"

He shivered and deemed it time to get out of the tub. He grabbed a bottle of yet another shade of pink with a dubious eye. "You better be shampoo or I'm going to kick your ass. Got that?"

The bottle showed its submission by easily pouring a small amount of shampoo into his hand. Ed smirked and quickly lathered his hair. He picked up the pitcher on the floor and looked into its empty mouth.

"Damn, how am I supposed to rinse without getting out?" Ed sighed and let his head fall back. The chain from the shower dangled above him and his smirk returned.

Using his toe as to keep most of his body in the cool -but warmer than the air- water, he hooked it in the steel ring. Cold water showered over him with a quick yank of said chain. Ed hastily washed the suds out and pulled the chain again to stop the flow.

Ed stepped out of the tub and said aloud, "There, all clean. I feel more human again already."

Dripping all over the floor, he grabbed the towel from the mirror to dry himself off. A blonde girl looked back at him with a startled expression. His clinical cataloguing of differences suddenly seemed irrelevant as he blinked at a stranger in the looking glass.

She had soft features, high cheekbones and slight traces of baby fat on her face, on the verge of being grown out of. Her hair was lighter and curled slightly at the tips instead of being rigidly straight like his own hair. Her eyelashes were light in colour and swept easily against her checks with each blink. She looked as confused as he felt.

He leaned forward and looked into her eyes. They were paler in hue but still just as sharp, edgy and Ed finally could see himself. It was something he could use to make the connection from this soft looking girl in the mirror to the hard feeling boy in his head. Were they really the same person?

"Who are you?" Ed asked his refection and raised a hand to touch the glass. She matched his movements precisely and met his fingers with her own.

Ed examined her hand and saw that matched his own. He knew he shouldn't be disturbed by that, but seeing this girl that looked more like a sister than a reflection was just too odd.

Ed asked her a second question without expecting an answer. "I should be freaking out, shouldn't I be?"

She waited a moment before smiling at him in a familiar manner, a very Ed manner. It was bright, devilish and confident. "You're me, aren't you? I can see it in your eyes. So here's what I think. You are me, even if you don't look it. We-I just need to adjust. That's all. Looking like this is nothing if I can be human again. So no more you, me and we, it is just me."

Ed wrapped the towel around his waste and left the washroom, feeling the best he had since arriving in his strange new world.


Author's Note

Now, we're getting somewhere. This took a while to type out but I hope you enjoy the length. Anywho, I have some midnight TV to watch. Thanks for reading!

Oni