He Will Never Be You

By: TracyCook

Disclaimer: These characters belong to the creators of Glee… If not, Faberry would exist already (as it should).

Couple: Quinn/Rachel

Rating: M

Authors Note: All of the songs in this fanfic are from Kelly Clarkson! :)

Chapter Three

Don't Ever Give Up On Me

I know I break your heart,

With everything I'm not…

Don't ever give up on me.

Convincing Rachel to stay had not been easy, Quinn had to practically beg the devastated woman to not immediately jump on a flight and head back in time to see her husband's first game of the season. The brunette refused to go back into the apartment, with good reason, after the scantily clad woman had interrupted their kiss. She had rambled on and on about how she did not want to think about Quinn with another woman nor did she want to give off the wrong impression of herself.

Finally she had agreed to go out to a small café and have a conversation with the blonde if she got rid of the woman in her apartment, which she did. Though, she honestly did feel that it was a bit of a selfish request, she did not understand how Rachel could waltz into her life after being gone for so long and make her give up the life she had been living. Worst of all she did not understand why she was so willing to do so. She just dropped everything she had made and chased after the brunette telling her to stay, telling her that they could fix things, as unrealistic as it was.

She knew that it was unrealistic. When Quinn left she never expected to make things work and for the most part she had moved on. Until she saw those beautiful brown eyes, that naturally tanned skin, and that huge dorky smile she once loved, again. Seeing that made her realize just how fake the world she built around her was. Not that she wanted to admit that. She did not feel that it was her place to do the chasing; Rachel deserved to chase her for once, to convince her that they belonged together. It would not be her.

That was all that she ever wanted. Perhaps it was selfish but she had wanted Rachel to seek her out prior to now, find her and tell her that she missed her like she had done so many times back in high school. Until now, she never did. Not once. She had called certainly, but Quinn had left her address with the others for a reason. The beautiful girl could have found her anytime. So why now? Why not earlier if she loved her? Why would she marry Finn?

Remember that we're strong,

And even as we fall…

Don't ever give up on me.

Both of them sat at the table in the café across from each other once again surrounded by awkward silence. The only sound being the soft sniffles coming from the brunette who had finally calmed down from the catastrophe at the apartment. Still breathing unevenly she did not want to risk speaking and stuttering as tears again fell, she did not know what to say. It was selfish and stupid of her to think that Quinn would be single and waiting around for her. Hell, she had been the one to let her go, still always one to wear her emotions on her sleeve she was finding it beyond difficult to hide her sorrow.

Rachel knew that it was her fault, she had waited too long to come and find her. She could not have expected the blonde to not be with someone else. She could have waited for years for all she knew, and it was the same thing she had done marrying Finn. Even so it did feel as if her heart was breaking.

Quinn simply watched with worried hazel eyes as she sipped on her coffee and awaited a conversation she was not really prepared to have. She had never expected to have to have this conversation with Rachel. She had changed so much over the years, some for the good and some for the bad, and she just did not see the brunette liking some of those changes.

When she finally got her breathing even and her sniffles to a minimal she spoke up. "Who was she?" The way she said it came out a lot more strained and upset than she wanted it to. She wanted to sound happy for her "friend."

Letting out a sigh hazel eyes glanced away from prying brown and Quinn shrugged her shoulders "She was no one Rachel."

"So you just sleep with random women now? Is that it Quinn?" Rachel spat a little more violently than she wanted to as she held back her tears and started to tap the tips of her fingers against the table anxiously. Forcing herself not to just get up and run before she could hear the answer. She knew she was being selfish but the thought of the beautiful blonde throwing around her body, a body that she once deemed sacred, a body that could of just been hers, it made her feel physically ill.

"Well she was a model… So I guess not completely random… Besides what is it to you Rachel? You don't come and see me for so many years and then you just show up and tell me how to live my life?"

Calming herself down, she again was reminded that it was in no way her place to just interrupt her life and judge her for whoever she became. She had never been one to judge before so why should she start now. Sighing out she nodded "You're right, I apologize Quinn… I guess… it just hurts." Her voice was a weak whisper and large brown eyes were cast downward.

"You want to talk about hurt… do you have any idea how bad it hurt hearing you married him." Her voice was harsh and full of emotion, deep and husky. She would not even say his name.

"I do now." Was the soft whisper that escaped the brunette's mouth, as her brown eyes glanced upward toward the beautiful blonde. They held sincerity and honesty in them that caused Quinn to catch her breath for a moment.

Hazel eyes latched onto brown and a soft smile formed on pink lips. It were as if they both had suddenly understood just how hard they had made things, and just how much the other cared. Not that it was going to fix everything, maybe not even fix anything, but it did earn a smile.

These tears I'm holding back,

Could turn my whole face black,

And I don't know if you'd love me,

If you saw me like that.

Would you?

"Want some vegan ice cream?" Quinn transitioned hoping to change the topic from what they had been talking about. She did not want to talk about the girl, or who she had become with Rachel. It was not something that she was proud of. Luckily the brunette took the bait for the moment.

"Yeah, I would love that." She whispered, blushing just a little as she noticed that the other woman still cared to remember her dietary habits. The brunette was happy to just see the beautiful blonde smiling again it meant the world to her. She wondered if it had been as long for her since she had smiled. Probably longer, Quinn was never much of a "smile-er."

"Okay good because I'm really not ready to explain things." Quinn stated a little too bluntly as she raised her hand to signal for the waitress.

Rachel reached out and took the blonde's perfect hand in her own linking their fingers together and lowering it to the table. Now hazel eyes were locked to brown in a serious and emotional stare. "Quinn I really want to talk about this… I need to, it is killing me. I hide it well." She laughed a little which earned a gentle smile from the other woman. "But I need to know if this is even worth it, if you have moved on, if you want me to chase you, and if you are open about your sexuality and in love—" Catching her breath for a moment she breathed out "If you love her."

Would you follow if I turned my back?

Could you love me through this broken glass?

I know I'm not who I was or where I need to be,

But don't ever give up on me…

"I wanted you to chase me Rachel… but I don't know if I want you to chase me now." The blonde stated honestly as her raspy voice shook slightly. When the brunette tried to pull her hand away Quinn grabbed ahold of it and held it in place forcing her to keep in contact. "It isn't because I love her though." She laughed and relief flooded through the other woman.

"But if you don't love her then why did you… Well, you know?" She asked awkwardly still not wanting to accept the fact that the beautiful girl had engaged in intercourse with the other woman. A model no less.

"Why did I sleep with her?" Quinn questioned bluntly.

Rachel again felt as if her heart were being squeezed tightly. Even though she had known that it was true, that only seemed to cement her thoughts. "Yeah…" Her voice heightened and cracked as she said it, still trying to pull her hand away from the other woman.

"Well, to answer your earlier question I am out. At first my mother was really against me doing it but honestly after leaving you I didn't care anymore what anyone told me to do and I outed myself… As for that girl, she isn't the first girl I have slept with since you Rachel… I have been with many girls."

"How many?" Her eyebrows knit together and her curious pained brown eyes searched hazel pools. She could barely ask the question and she felt she shouldn't even ask the question but she had to know. For some reason it tainted the blonde that she had once thought of as hers.

"You don't want to know and it doesn't matter." Quinn stated huskily, glancing away again. This time she started to pull her hand away only to have the brunette hold onto it.

"Why doesn't it matter?" The hope in her voice was unmistakable.

"They never meant anything to me Rachel; they never pleased me like you did that night. I spent the last few years comparing each and every one of them to you hoping that they could replace you and they couldn't. I started going to therapy and she told me to focus on myself and not have such high expectations." Pausing she glanced back to the brunette holding the tears back so that she would not show how weak she was. "She said I would never be happy until I gave up on you and moved on."

Silence filled the two of them and Rachel's smile grew across her face, a real smile, large and dorky as they used to be when they were in high school together. Her heart beating away quickly not out of anger or anxiety as before but out of excitement. Maybe the cuts were not too deep to mend after all.

"But none of that matters now Rachel… You are married to him and I have moved on for the most part. If we open old wounds I will only be hurt again and honestly I don't think I could handle going through the last few years again." Moving to get up Rachel stood up with her pulling on her hand not allowing her to run away.

My heart will turn to run,

But even when I'm gone,

Don't ever give up on me…

I'm trying deep within,

If you could hold my hand,

Don't ever give up on me.

Both of them were now standing in the middle of the café oblivious to what was going on around them. Rachel continued holding onto the blonde's hand as they stared into each other's eyes. Moving her hand the shorter of the two placed it on the actress's hip pulling her closer to her and pressing their bodies against each other. Both girls being enveloped in the warmth and safeness.

After her initial shock Quinn finally wrapped her arms around the woman she had always loved pulling her even closer against herself. Neither of them said anything, simply enjoyed feeling comfortable and happy for once in a very long time. Rachel rested her head on the blonde's chest able to hear her racing heart, earning another grin.

She could see everyone in the café staring at them but quite honestly she didn't care. She didn't care what they thought of her, she didn't care if they hated her for being a lesbian, and she didn't care if everyone disowned her. All she cared about was making things right with Quinn and being with her. There had to be a way despite her friend's words.

This war I'm fighting havoc,

It turns me inside out and

I don't know if you'd love me,

If you saw me right now…

Would you?

Quinn reached up, her slim beautiful fingers started to run through brown silky locks and now she was smiling and kissing the top of Rachel's head. She was genuinely happy. The emptiness she had always felt was feeling a lot fuller. She knew that it was not going to be as easy as "I love you" "I love you too let's be together." Maybe a long time ago it would have been that easy but not now, because Rachel had turned her down and married Finn Hudson. Still, part of her knew that no matter how much drama entailed and how difficult it was the beautiful girl in her arms and the feeling she was having right now would be worth it.

"We can make this work Quinn, I'm not who I used to be… I'm not overly obsessed with being popular and loved by everyone, I'm not terrified by what everyone thinks, and I don't care if everyone disowns me. I just care that I have you." Tears were now falling from her eyes landing against the exposed skin of the blonde's chest.

Too strong to cry the blonde held back her tears and smiled softly. "I'm willing to let go of everything and start new if you are." Her voice was husky and emotion-filled.

"I am! I am so willing to do that! I'll let go of who I was and who I am and start new with you! I have missed you so much! I love you so much…" Her voice cracked and her body shook as she held on even tighter to Quinn, never wanting to let her go again. She knew that she would have to deal with Finn, she knew that this was merely the calm before the storm, but in that moment she was holding on for her dear life.

"I love you too." She whispered out, almost inaudibly as her heart clenched and she felt light-headed. She had woken up that morning thinking that it would be just another day, and honestly she was overwhelmed, but for the moment she didn't care. She had Rachel Berry wrapped up in her arms.

Though they both knew the words were not enough to fix things, they were still happy to have the chance.

How do you still believe in me?

Even when my colors bleed.

Holding out, will you love the rest of me?

G g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g

Authors Note: Hope y'all like it. Please review!

As promised I am adding another chapter because of all the amazing reviews! It makes me so happy knowing that y'all enjoy my fic so much. :) Also I want to apologize if it seems rushed or lacking in detail. Please do leave me more reviews and I will have the next chapter out ASAP! :)

Y'all rock!

-Tracy Cook