Chapter three: Silence
I still feel his touch lingering onto me like it was yesterday. I never forget the dark wad of hair that draped past his ears, reflecting chestnut hues in the sunlight. Katniss, I got a job offer in New York. What do you think? Why did he even bother to ask? When when the time came, he left anyway, no goodbyes at hand. I remember the pain, sharper than any blade. I shouldn't have felt that way, we never had anything remotely intimate. His face rarely crosses my mind anymore, that was until the rose – the lavender thing which unleashed so many sealed emotions. After disappearing for six months without a word, why would he try to mend our friendship? Unanswered questions and misplaced trust are things this world thrives off of. Without it, neither Gale, me, or even Peeta would be the same. It reminds me that the life I'm living is real, not a fantasy – not even close.
It's at least three hours past the start of the fair now. He'll think I'm standing him up – which I am, and maybe leave me alone. It's for the best, I conclude. A knot forms inside the pit of my stomach, avidly itching me to go. I fight to sit myself still, but it is no use. I'm going. I decide that it's the only way to satisfy myself.
Iridescent lights shine in several directions, illuminating the sky. Laughs exchange, kisses engage, and I can't help but feel slightly jealous. Happiness. Never ending, abundant happiness. A longing sensation emulsifies the surroundings as my mind tunes out the commotion. Time seems to stop as a familiar voice emerges from the silence.
"Katniss," he says as he makes his way to me.
"Hey, um, sorry I'm late-" Peeta interrupts before I can finish my run-of-the-mill apology. "No, it's fine. I'm really glad you came."
Time begins to reel back into motion. His hand clasps in mine, gently suppressing any sadness I felt.
We play "pop the balloon". I shoot a series of darts, only missing once. Peeta can't hit even once which causes me to break out into laughter. He casually walks behind the counter and stabs all of the balloons. Startled, the man behind the counter begins chasing us. Without one word, Peeta grabs my hand and hastily leads me off the peer. We outrun him and unfortunately, security begins trailing us. I rest my back against a wooden post, huffing to catch my breath. Peeta sits, surrounded in sand, but his eyes directed at me.
"I wish I had a picture of the look on his face when you snapped those balloons." I chuckle, releasing any stress I held onto.
"Would have been funnier if you did it." He smiles and we simultaneously begin laughing.
"They're there!" I exclaim, seeing the security guard's silhouettes dance from a distance.
"They're too far way,"
"I wouldn't let them get you anyways." His words are nonetheless, genuine.
"Thanks." I utter. Peeta rises, his sights solely set on me. His hand reaches out for mine, erasing all my thoughts. Our fingers intertwine and before I knew what was happening, I feel his lips press onto mine. His hand cradles my cheek, gentling stroking my face. A simple kiss osculates into a series of passionate kisses. He presses me closer to him, emanating heat from the touch of our bodies. My head feels calm and leveled as I engage myself into the unknown.
"There they are!" Figures resembling the security guards discover us. My heart pounds rapidly as I freeze in place. There is nowhere to run. We're stuck and it's my fault, again.
"Not funny, guys." Peeta blurts.
They laugh and describe the look of shock on our faces. "Don't worry, we won't bother you guys." Speaking as if they hadn't already. Anger brims over my lid, causing me to jerk away.
"You're friends are so stupid." I say, walking away. I have a knack for being unfriendly and he would be better off forgetting me. My own thoughts bite, but I continue to elaborate to myself on everything I've done wrong.
"Why are you walking away?" Peeta questions, grabbing onto my sweater.
"Because this isn't going to workout!" I snap, sending a few other jarring remarks at him. He lets me go and that's when I realize this isn't what I want. I want him, but my aweful display of affection proves otherwise.
A few days pass and I've seen no sign of him. I lay awake pondering about what he could be doing at this very moment. Is he thinking of me? Of course not, I snap, releasing myself from a nonexistent fairy tale. My loneliness elevates, causing me to choke on a sob. Prim, sweet faced and asleep is in the other room tonight. She insisted our mother needed her, just to be safe. Maybe I'm more unstable than my mother. I just don't feel like myself. It isn't like me to be such an emotional wreck, but lately I've made the most of that. I muffle my cries in my pillow, not bothering to fight the tears any longer. My eyelids, heavy from crying begin to close. I'm drifting into sleep when I hear a brisk knock at my window.
Who would be here this late? Nevermind that – when does anyone ever knock on my window?
"Peeta, what are you doing here?" I whisper, not daring to be loud. Acknowledging the fact that my mother would panic if she knew, I'm relentless to not give in.
"I – I just had to see you, Katniss." he pleads, gazing into my eyes. Why? I ask myself.
I kiss him, tangling my lips in a dream. It feels different this time. A warm sensation draws me deeper in the moment, dissipating the loneliness I felt minutes ago. He lays me down beside him, cradling me in his arms.
"Why did you save me that day?" I ask, interrupting our perfect moment.
"Do you want the lifeguard answer or my answer?"
"Yours." Of course.
"Well, because I knew it was you." he spoke softly, his words working its way to my heart.
"Now, I get to ask you a question."
"Why do you always get mad at me, Katniss?" I don't answer, but instead I tighten my grip on his hand signaling the end of the conversation.
Peeta, please don't ever let me go.
Hey guys, I'm sorry if this chapter fell short in any way. I'm running on very little sleep, but I was determined to post this! I cannot say how grateful I am for all your wonderful feedback. It's viewers like you that keep me going. Thank you so much! Please continue to review, it keeps me updating.
With love, May
