I slowly came to with the help of two rough tongues rubbing against my face. With out thinking I began swatting at the miscreants. Guess they didn't get the message, because I ended up cracking my knuckle at the same time I heard a cat yelp from pain.
"Well that's what you get you stupid cat…"
"I'm not stupid, and its not my fault you fainted. It's Tugger's!" That woke me up real quickly. Too bad no one told me that sitting up quickly after falling to the ground in a faint was the worst idea ever.
"Owww…." There was blinding pain behind my eyes. Now I remember why I made a point of not waking up with a hang over. Slowly I looked up to see my cats looking back. Ok, so they weren't looking back exactly. Tugger's attention was swiftly moving from Mistoffelees, to me, and back again. Mistoffelees on the other hand seemed to be the spitting feline image of me at the moment. And then I saw it, that ridiculous, black bow. I would have liked to burn that piece of shit. It was its fault this whole mess stared! My eyes began to narrow the longer I stared.
"You know, if you stare hard enough, you might just be able to light Misty's neck on fire." I slowly looked over at Tugger with a quizzical face. Mistoffelees however seemed to be trying to light Tugger on fire with his, no her, no its, own death glare.
"What did you just call me?!?"
"Well, face it hot stuff. You're female. Best have your name reflect it." The look he gave Mistoffelees could only be classified as a leer. I very quickly found myself sporting a cat shawl, which was very quickly morphing into a cat hat.
"That's it, I need strong alcohol, and you two have a lot of explaining to do." With that I slowly stood up so as not roll an ankle or toss a cat. Truthfully I sympathized with "Misty". Going from male to female, to having your companion hit on you (cause that's the only way I could describe what Tugger did) was a bit traumatizing. She deserved to be carried undisturbed. Thankfully I hadn't ruined my red skirt or white dress shirt in my fall, and little to no dirt had accumulated as well. Lord only knows I still had to walk back to my flat; I didn't need people staring more than they needed too.
Upon entering my humble abode I quickly went about relieving myself of my work attire, only to replace it with sweats. As I exited my room, I began wishing that I hadn't.
"Oh come on Misty, you need to be properly inducted into queen-hood. And I am just that cat to do it!"
"You stay away from me!" Mistoffelees' screech was bordering desperation. I was quickly realizing that I probably owned the most perverted cat in town. I decided to voice this opinion to see what the response would be. Not was expecting, that's for sure.
"You do NOT own us! We own you!" While Tugger focused his attention on me so as to deliver this little speech, Mistoffelees quickly dove under the couch.
"You're right about Tugger's perversions, though." Her voice was muffled, but Mistoffelees meaning was quite clear. My poor cat!
"Riiiiight…" I walked slowly over to my couch to sit down. Mistoffelees, realizing that I might just protect her, very quickly came out of her hiding place and jumped into my lap.
"Now that we're all comfortable, feel like explaining everything to me?"
"Would you like a drink now or later?" Mistoffelees was staring so intently at me one would think that the fate of the world depended on my answer.
"Now…?" And with that, a freshly opened Smearnoff Ice sat on the coffee table before me. I reared back in my seat. Mistoffelees licked her paws and Tugger rolled over with laughter.
"Subtle, Misty, subtle!"
"What can I say, it's easier to show than tell. And don't call me Misty!"
"Well "Misto" doesn't fit anymore now that you're female."
I simply to ok the bottle and drank deeply. Once done the cats began to talk again.
"Remember how you said we were strange? Well here's the thing, I do magic. And it was my magic getting out of control that turned me into a tom cat this afternoon. Oh do calm down, I'm not in the midst of a hiccupping fit, so you're fine."
"You're pretty fine yourself."
"And you are sleeping on the couch tonight. I don't need Mistoffelees cowering against me tonight while I try to sleep. Yeesh!" Thankfully the alcohol was starting to take some of the edge off from the day.
"Ok, so you do magic. What about Tugger, does he have any special abilities? You know jump building in a single bound?"
"Hardly. He's more likely to hurt himself than do something amazing."
"HEY!"
"Although, some might say making every female cat for miles give up her common sense is a pretty fantastical trick."
"Ahh… so can all cats talk as well?"
"Only if they're Jellicals."
"Say what?"
"Jellicals, we're the cats that do the amazing things in this world." Tugger seemed rather pleased with himself for contributing to the conversation. I was beginning to understand why "Misty" was always so agrivated.
"Ah. Anything else I should know before I call it a day?"
"My father's the leader, and my older brother is in charge. Speaking of which, we need to talk to one, or both, of them about this."
"I think I'd like to keep this a secret."
"They might be able to help."
"I'll think about it." With that I took the final swig of my drink, picked up Mistoffelees, walked into my bedroom and closed the door in Tugger's face.
A/N: Sorry this took so long, I had a bit of writer's block. Hopefully this will go a little more smoothly from now on. Or not, we'll see. Oh and if you didn't get it, the human is in a daze, so the less info the better in her mind!
P.S. Reviews are like candy!
