"Come to my apartment...NOW!" Kyon yelled into the phone before Konata could even say "Hello"
Konata drove over to Kyon's in the black Schafter, and went into his apartment.
"There you are, took you long enough." Kyon said as he saw her open the door.
"I came as soon as I could." Konata said in defense.
"I don't pay for 'As soon as I could'. You were probably watching anime on the job again." Kyon said.
"It took me three minutes to get here. Your being an asshole. What's wrong with you?" Konata asked.
"You think I don't know that? You think I like being like this." Kyon said.
"Then what's wrong Kyon?" Konata asked again.
"I fucked up...good and proper. I've worked Lucky City nightlife for twenty years, I beat everyone. Mayor's, rivals, drugs, everyone. And now THIS TIME I fucked up. I'm the only person, in the history of this town, to own the hottest gay and straight clubs at the same time, and I'm about to lose everything." Kyon sat down on the couch and covered his face with his hands.
"What are you talking about K?" Konata asked.
"I don't know if it was that idiot Evan, or the economy, or the cocaine, or those fucking pill...which I don't take anymore. But this time I fucked up...I've done a deal with the wrong devil...I'm such an idiot." Kyon layed down on the couch.
"Things have been bad before, I fight, you plot, and we'll get out of this." Konata said.
"Sure...but we have never been THIS fucked before..." Kyon said.
"Hey..." Konata got too eye level with him. "You saved me, you made me. You'll always be the king of this town...Yaoi Kyon...you are this town." Konata said.
"I've sold the clubs too two diffrent people, and they each think they own the lot. And that is why we are fucked." Kyon said.
"So I'll go tell them they gave us the money as a present. And if they don't like it, I'll take them to the special VIP room at the bottom the the river." Konata said.
"Well, its going to be very crowded in the VIP room." Kyon sat back up on the couch. "These are not nice people, and now you and me are going to have to go play nice with one of them. So they don't blow up the clubs. Fuck!" Kyon said.
"It's going to be okay." Konata said.
"Yeah, whatever... Oh and meanwhile, there's this blogger...this parasite with an internet connection. Bad mouthing me all over town. Have you heard of this guy...The Computer Society President...or something..." Kyon said.
"Who?" Konata said.
"Eh...whatever...come on..." Kyon stood up and was walking out of the apartment. "So, what anime were you watching on your way over here?" Kyon asked.
"I wasn't watching anything on my way here." Konata said.
"You always are." Kyon said as he walked out side. "Now drive us down to the video game arcade. We have a job to do for Rocco. I just know your going to enjoy this." Kyon said as he rolled his eyes and got into the passengers seat of the car.
"Sounds fun. But why do we have to do this for him?" Konata asked.
"Because one of the joys of getting old is being ordered around by someone who is below the age of consent in Utah." Kyon said.
"Don't you mean its one of the joys of borrowing money you can't pay back?" Konata said.
"They can take my money, blackmail me, put a gun to my head, but if I'm caught in bed with him, it's me who goes to jail." Kyon said.
"Rocco struck me as an insecure prick, but I didn't think he rolled like that." Konata said.
"He doesn't...or I don't think so at least. You think he does? With all that pent up suburban hard man angest." Kyon asked.
"I don't know, probably...Anyways, we're here." Konata said as they pulled up to the video game arcade.
"Now he said he was in the back. At the virtual golfing course." Kyon said as he got out of the can and walked into the arcade past all the shooting games.
They both entered the very back of the arcade to the virtual gold course. Where they saw Rocco lining up a shot.
"Well there they are, the otaku, and the fag." Rocco said waving to the to come over. "Now what I needed you two to do for me is to get this union prick who as decided to get an overinflated opinion of himself. These guys, they're stuck in the nineteen seventies or something." Rocco said as he walked down the course, which was about a football field long. "He's right over here." He got into a golf cart with a man in a blue suit tied to the front of it. "Now I need you to hit him with some golf balls when I tell you to, okay?" Rocco yelled as he drove the cart about a hundred five feet away from them.
"Why is there a gold cart in a virtual golfing range thats only three hundread feet long?" Konata asked.
"For show." Rocco yelled back. "Now take the shot." Rocco yelled.
Konata grabbed a four iorn and placed a ball on the tee. She lined up her shot and took a swing. The ball went into the air and missed the man and landed on the ground to his left.
"I thought they bred you otaku for this kind of thing." Rocco yelled at her.
Konata took another swing and hit the man in the groin. "oh god, no more please." The man in the blue suit yelled. Konata could see him telling something to Rocco, but could not make out what he was saying. Then Rocco drove the cart to the very back of the course.
"Why is he moving it?" Konata asked Kyon.
"Hell if I know. And where did you learn to play golf anyways?" Kyon said.
"Right here, right now. I never liked this sport. I find the clothes you have to wear kind of unflattering." Konata said.
Konata lined up another shot. "Okay, let it fly!" Rocco yelled from the very back of the course. Konata hit it, but too hard and the ball hit the back screen of the course.
"Your more suited to be a caddey at this sport." Rocco yelled.
She lined up her last golf ball and hit it right into his jaw. She saw him say something else to Rocco, but she was too far away to hear what he said.
Rocco drove the gold cart back to the driving range. "Get down here and save me, otaku." Rocco yelled.
"From who?" Konata asked. Then a group of men in suits came through the door of the arcade. They opened fire with semiautomatic pistols on Rocco's golf cart as he pulled into the driving range. "I don't want to die!" Rocco cried.
"As much as it pains me to say it...we need to go save him." Kyon said as he handed Konata the Desert Egeal in his suit jacket pocket. "Now, do your job and get over there and protect him and me.
Konata got behind one of the Mortal Combat video game machines for cover. And blindfired three rounds into one of the goons standing next to the ski ball machine. "This was one of my favorite places in the world, and you people are ruining it." Konata yelled at them.
Rocco took off in the golf cart out the enterence to the arcade.
"Hurry Kyon, get it." Konata said as she got in the drivers seat of another golf cart and Kyon got into the passengers seat. They chased after Rocco down the street.
"Hurry Konata, they could catch up to us on foot at this speed." Kyon said as she looked back at three of the men get into one blue car and two other men get into a red pick-up truck.
"It's a golf cart, it has the same engine as a lawn mower. It's not ment to go fast." Konata said.
"How do we get into messes like this." Kyon exclaimed
"You mean, being chased by mobsters in a motherfucking golf cart. I think that you got us into this mess when you do deals for money behind my back." Konata said
"I don't want to die in a golf cart." Kyon cried as he shot out the windo of the blue car causing it to stop and the red pick-up to crash into the back of it. "They crashed, now drive, before they get another car. Come on, we're not a nearly the top speed of this thing." Kyon said
"When did you become the golf buggy expert?" Konata asked as she followed Rocco's cart into an alley way. Rocco stopped when they got into the street.
"I think we lost them." Rocco said.
"so are we even now?" Kyon asked Rocco.
"Are you kidding me? You haven't even made a dent on the interest you owe us. And now I have to do all the messy work on this guy right here." Rocco said as he pointed to the man tied to the front of the golf cart.
"Wait...I told you everything...wait..." The man on the front of the cart said as Rocco drove off.
Kyon sighed. "Take us back to my apartment." Kyon said. "I'm sorry, but I really got us in the shit now." Kyon said to Konata.
"You just need to calm down. Your really pushing it." Konata said.
"Well, maybe if you weren't out watching anime and reading you stupid doujinshi, and this was a two person operation like it should be, then maybe things would be holding together better." Kyon said
"Oh! Now I'm the one getting blamed for this now, huh? Of course." Konata said angerly "Whenever I come to the clubs you ask me to run off on some stupid errand like a chump. You don't ever let me into the serious stuff. And you do deals without even telling me. Until it comes time to protect you from whoever is out to get you from your bad decisions." Konata finished.
"I'm sorry alright, I do it because I don't want you to get hurt, I mean look at you, your half my size. But if you really want to help me, okay. I'll change. I'll be better." Kyon said.
"Yeah, thank you, but I don't believe it." Konata pulled up to Kyon's apartment in the golf cart. They both went inside. Konata went to sit down on the couch and Kyon went to change his suit.
