NOTE: This chapter is the last one! It wasn't planned but y'know.

WARNING: PTSD nightmares

"Why didn't you save me?" The woman stood at the foot of Jay's bed. She pushed her long, wavy, blonde hair behind her ears. Her dark skin was beautiful from the illumination of the windows the adjacent buildings provided. She looked at him with her sunlight-through-a-glass-of-whiskey colored eyes. It was a haunting sight. He tilted his head, his hair against the cheap sheets an unpleasant sound.

"Y-you're… you're the woman from inside the garage that blew up. But you're dead?" Jay sat up in his bed. He winced at the pain.

"Yes, I'm dead." She placed a tight grip on the front of his bed. "Because of you. My fiance is dead, too. It's all your fault."

No. No, I don't… I couldn't have done anything. You were dead before we found you. Before the building collapsed. That's why I'm here in the hospital." Jay's breathing picked up when she started to make her way around the bed towards him. She sat next to him, placing a hand on his thigh looking him straight in the eyes.

"It's all your fault, Detective Halstead."

"How do you know my name?" He elected to ignore the invasive hand on his thigh, choosing to question the validity of her statements. His mind spun at a million miles per hour, almost making him dizzy.

"Because this is your mind, pretty boy. A nightmare." The next thing Jay knew, she was back at the foot of his bed with the tight grip she had previously had. "You'd better wake up before you forget how to."

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Jay shot up out of the bed, stumbling backwards into the wall, looking around the room, eyes wide. "Where is she?!"

Will stood, running over to his baby brother, hoping to ground him. He took the detective's shoulders, calling out to him. "Where is who, Jay? What are you talking about?"

"Will?" Jay stood upright, brushing himself off. He took one last look around the room before moving towards his bed. "I'm-"

"No! Don't say you're fine! Don't." Will went back to his chair, keeping a close eye on his young brother, who got in bed, with a wince. The doctor would have cringed at the look on his brother's face but he decided to let it go. Well, maybe not let it go, but to focus more on the argument he knew he was about to start.

"Will-"

"Jay, you tore your bandages. Your nightmares are way too frequ-"

"Stop. I'm going back to sleep. Stay or leave, I don't care. I'm sleeping."

"Fine. A nurse is going to change your bandages. I'm going home."

"Great. Have a good night." Jay ignored his big brother as he walked out of the room. He desperately wanted to say more, to try and settle this once and for all, but he ultimately decided on keeping his silence.

Why didn't Will understand? Why does he constantly worry so much? A nightmare every now and then isn't a big deal. Right? Everyone gets them every once and a while.

::::::::

Will groggily trudged through the halls of the ED, duffle bag for Jay in hand. He hated having that fight with him the night before. He allowed the memories to flood his mind. Why couldn't Jay see how wrong everything was? The PTSD, a poison, drowning him in memory and emotion. Will knew good and well that Jay wanted to get better, but it just kept seeming like he didn't to the older brother.

Will wanted to punch a hole in the wall. How could Jay… No. How could Intelligence let this happen? How could they let his little brother go through this? To constantly go through this? The way he saw Jay suffer; he felt it all could have been avoided.

He knew, though, that it wasn't anyone but the criminals' fault. And he would be even more broken if he couldn't be a cop. Heroism ran in his blood. He was off-duty. He heard those screams, sure, but he didn't have to go in, to... to be a hero. No, not a hero. He was just being himself. Jay Halstead. Cop, brother, friend, soldier and all-around good man. Flawed, sure, but good all the same.

Will remained deep in thought as the elevator doors opened up to reveal Jay's floor, the depressing lighting failing to brighten the long, seemingly endless, halls.

He opened Jay's door, keeping his eyes to his phone, avoiding looking at his baby brother. He slowly dropped the duffle beside the recliner, not knowing if Jay was awake, though, wanting not to take the risk of waking him, should he be asleep.

He kept his eyes glued to his phone. It started to buzz and vibrate. Will gave a quick glance upward to see if it had awakened the freckled detective. "The hell?!" He stood, abruptly, seeing his brother was not in his bed. In fact, the entire bed was not in the room. He quickly rushed out into the hallways looking for the nearest nurse. He grabbed her by the shoulders. "Where is Jay Halstead?!"

The nurse looked shook up, but she remained calm, knowing how close the brothers had become. She pointed towards the elevators, "Doctor Rhodes had to come get him, because there was a complication with his appendix. He should be in surgery right now."

Will sprinted at full speed towards the elevators, giving a, hopefully, understood backwards wave towards the nurse hoping she would accept the apology for the rudeness. He paced, impatiently waiting for the doors to open. He rubbed his hands together before running a hand through his curly ginger hair.

When the doors finally opened, he rushed inside, pushing anyone that was previously in, out. He gave a half-assed apology, his mind only on his little brother.

::::

The observation room doors burst open with a loud boom, starting the med students, teachers and evaluation admins alike. Everyone except for the admins left the room, knowing the severity of the situation. Will pushed his hands against the glass, palms flush against the pristinely clean surface. His eyes watered, a flood of tears threatening to show themselves, only to be held back by the dam of Will's pride and concern.

"Jay…" He watched as his friends and colleagues cut into his brother like a damn turkey dinner. It was all so wrong. Jay wasn't supposed to get hurt. He wasn't supposed to be in this situation. Yet, here he was. The only thing that seemed to bring comfort to Will, oddly, was the fact that Connor was doing the surgery. His frenemy, if you will.

Jay had made it explicitly clear that he only ever wanted Dr. Rhodes to be his surgeon and doctor. If not, Choices was perfectly fit for the job. And if he were honest, it'd be anyone but Will. It wasn't that he didn't think he was capable. Obviously. He just never wanted his big brother to see him like that ever again. Vulnerable. Unable to fend off his attacker. Which, in this case, was a damaged appendix.

Will knew that Connor was one of the best that the hospital had ever had, yet, when it came to Jay, all of that rationality and history went out of the window. Every "what if" that could be thought came into mind. It tormented the doctor. So much so, that he hadn't noticed when he dropped to his knees, unable to see the OR. Then he heard those beautiful words.

"The surgery was successful, Dr. Halstead." That gruff voice was unmistakable.

Will stood, looking into the vast, bloody OR. "Thank you, Doctor Rhodes." He would have questioned how Connor knew he was there. He hadn't seen him. But it was obvious, wasn't it? The ginger knew the medical personnel would find it highly probable that he would be there. And… There he was. A nurse passed the anesthesiologist a five once they got to the break room.

:::::

Waiting for Jay to wake up from the surgery was painful. He, much to Will's pleasure, was not intubated.

Watching Jay's chest rise and fall was rhythmic and relaxing. Will desperately wanted it to change, though. He wanted the rhythm to be inconsistent. To be different. He wanted the breathing to change based on bodily movement. As it should when the patient… Jay… was awake.

::::::

Jay sat at a large, round, black metal table, no chairs around it. He was in what seemed to be a casino, yet it didn't contain any tables or machines. Just the gaudy bright red floors and golden and marble walls. No windows… Yup. Casino. No Clocks. Okay now it's really confirmed. It's a casino.

His hands lay flat on the table's cold surface, a single gun in front of him. He stared at the beautiful revolver. The long barrel was shiny, definitely recently cleaned. Of course, what did that matter? Why would the craftsmanship, enginuity, and all of that have to do with anything? So it was cleaned, recently? What of it? Jay questioned his thinking before he saw familiar faces walk in.

"Mouse? Erin?" Jay stood, running around the table to hug the two.

"Choose." The two in unison.

Jay stepped back, head tilted, slightly. "Choose? Choose what?"

"Choose."

The gun appeared in his hand, fitting like a glove in his grip. No matter how many times he dropped it, it only re-appeared in his grasp. "I… No, I'm not shooting either of you."

"Choose."

"I'm not doing it! Strum a different string!"

"Choose."

Jay threw the gun across the room, past the two. Once again, it appeared in his hand. "I'm not. I won't."

"Ch-"

"Shut up! Why are you doing this?"

"Choose."

Jay sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "I won't."

:::::

Will awoke to the erratic sounds of the EKG beeping. The sound was ingrained in the doctor's mind. He stood, moving quickly to the side of Jay's bed, taking hold of his shoulders, shaking him. "Jay! Jay, wake up!"

The freckled detective's eyes shot open, wide and full of fear. He grabbed onto Will's forearms as tight as he could, making the doctor groan against the pain. Once Jay's eyes focused, his hyperventilation slowed. "Will."

"You know, I'm getting really tired of having to do this, man." Will gave a nervous laughter.

"Me, too." Jay's voice was raspy from the surgical intubation. "Will I-"

"Forget it, man. We'll talk about it when you're ready."

"Actually… I'm uh… I'm ready to talk about it, now," Jay picked his water bottle up, taking a sip as he watched his big brother's jaw practically drop to the floor.

"Great! That's good timing!" Will started to walk out of the room, nearly laughing when he saw Jay's confused look in his peripheral vision.

Will opened the door, stepping back to allow his guest in.

"Detective Halstead, it's a pleasure to meet your acquaintance, again."

"Will-"

"Give it a chance, little brother."

Jay sighed. "It's nice to see you, again, Dr. Charles."

"Sounds like it."

"Oh, he's a funny guy. Great."

"Just-just talk to him."

"I will, but am I gonna get a friggin sarcastic comment after every sentence or traumatic admission?"

"Probably. Doctor Halstead, 'm going to need you to exit the room. You know how DPC is."

Will laughed. "I do. You guys have fun."

"Not likely," Jay laughed, sitting further up in his bed.

"Alright. Let's get to it."