The Bitter Cold

I had been staring at Raito for twenty minutes by this point, his squirming and writhing not letting up the slightest through the night. It was an almost mesmerizing sight, those tensing muscles rippling as if caught up in an exotic dance beneath peachy skin. "Raito-kun." I murmured breathlessly. I considered waking him, though somehow convinced myself to let him be, I had already denied him far too much sleep. I resorted to the next best thing and placed an awkward hand upon his shoulder. His trembling stilled, but his delicate features remained contorted into an expression of terror.

I had read somewhere before… that when a friend or person of considerable association is frightened or the like, one could calm them by using physical gestures to imply that they 'care'. I never had any experience in doing so before, but I was beginning to feel that the situation at hand deemed it necessary. Awkwardly, as I still preferred to avoid human contact, I wrapped an arm around my suspects shoulder, watching intently for any signs of censure. When none came, I laid down fully, pressing tightly against him; his body like a fire, sinking its warmth into my bones and melting my anxiety.

As I lay there, his features softened into an almost angelic display. It was hard to believe that Kira could make such a face…

I suppose he had finally stopped dreaming.

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Everything is so empty… Raito… where are you right now? I should have known better. How could I ever forgive myself for letting such a sinful thing occur? But for you there is no forgiveness, you've succumbed to the serpent's apple and I have tried so hard to believe you could never be so far from salvation… Tried so hard to believe you could change, open your eyes to the hate and cruelty the world had to offer and accept it as humanity.

Humans, man, in God's image?

Where was I right now? Buried six feet under the ground to rot in isolation for all eternity? I want to move, but there is nothing to move, no arms, no legs, just me, here, right now, waiting.

Waiting… for what? Have you already cast your judgment Raito? How long has it been? Lingering in the nothingness, just waiting.

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The hours ticked on, but never once did he move. If it hadn't been for the steady heartbeat thumping so closely to my ear, that subtle rise and fall of a warm chest, I might have been concerned. Perhaps.

Even before these dreams had started, I couldn't recall him ever being this still… this…

My eyes refocused, I must have drifted off for a moment there, having completely lost my train of thought. Falling asleep sounded quite inviting when pressed into such a radiating body. Several times I persuaded myself to move, only to forfeit my efforts at the brunettes gasping whispers that followed my leave.

As the night began to dissipate, somehow I'd become quite nestled into the crook of an alleged murderers neck, constantly questioning my own intentions.

I felt as if I was wasting away the morning, allowing myself to relax in such a tense situation. I constantly had to remind myself that I had given my word to allow this young man as much sleep as he required and being (more often than not) a man of my word, I had to assure it. As quickly as the thought crossed my mind something within me denied it, but for what other basis would I spend my night pressed against a murder suspect?

Even someone with the deduction skills I possessed found the answer distorted behind the details of our investigative case.

When the sun finally peeked over the windowsill and bathed us in it's orange gleam, a flicker of what I could only call disappointment spiked in my stomach, which quickly gave way to wonder. My gaze was blessed with a sight not many were as propitious to see… Pink flesh turned gold, dazzling like a painting created by the most artistic of minds. Resting against his neck, my hand had turned white in comparison, seeming to merely soak in the sunlight, like the dead.

I speculated whether this was the reason eyes always turned our way when the two of us stood side by side. Was he really so full of life while I was simply deficient?

I should have risen for the day hours ago, it was already nearly 9AM and neither Raito nor myself had so much as blinked, his eyes seemingly always shut and my own never closing. I could still hear the faint whir of my laptop which lay forgotten on the floor, debating internally as to whether or not I should turn it off.

I'd been wrapped up in Raito (literally) for ten hours at that point, gazing into his eyelids, waiting for him to open his mouth and confess to me… what? To being Kira? Then what…? At the time all I could see was a cold, painfully empty spot beside me. As I apprehended what trail my thoughts had been roving, I instinctively pulled away from the handsome genius, something I had been unable to consciously force myself to do all night.

I would not allow my personal feelings to interfere with the Kira case, even if Raito was my first and presently, only friend, the possibility of him being my most exceptional enemy was much too likely.

I stood from the bed, shutting off my laptop and flipping on the lights. "Raito-kun, it's time to wake up." I trembled, attempting to regain control of my fingertips. I buried my hands into my pockets, refusing to face the many things my quivering digits could have implicated, none of which were beneficial.

For the first time, I truly wished that we were not bound together. Walking into that university and announcing myself as 'L' to the suspected Kira's face could not compare to the apprehension of facing Raito… the face of light… The inscrutable brunette merely stirred at the sound of my weak statement.

"Raito-kun… Wake up."

This time, seemingly innocent eyes slid open, staring dazedly around the room until they focused on me, piercing my own. "How was your sleep?" I asked ever so politely as he got to his feet and went in search of clean clothes. "It was fine." His voice trembled ever the slightest, I almost doubted my ears, not missing the faint flushing of his cheeks. I un-cuffed him momentarily, allowing him to change his clothes. I amused the thought of running off somewhere, away from this enigma of a boy, but squandered such irrationality and trapped him once again.

"You didn't dream?" I spoke under my breath, watching for a reaction of some sort, I spotted it without delay. Raito tensed, skin seeming to prickle beneath my questioning, it was very suspicious. I knew already he had, but striking the nail on the head and knowing that he was aware of it felt somewhat sickeningly sweet. I could almost see a sort of shame reflected in those gossamer eyes. "Ryuzaki… last night, did you…" He paused, searching my own for an answer I already had but refused to part with, "Never mind, it's nothing."

I followed his ever-tense back as he went into the restroom to wash up, had he awoken last night to find me embracing him? I couldn't recall him even stirring… unless, it had been in that miniscule gap that I drifted into slumber… Though if such a thing had happened surely Raito wouldn't have resumed sleeping over pushing me away. I drove the thought aside for the moment, for the boy said nothing else on the matter.

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"Where are we?"

"We are here."

"And where is here?"

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I'm in no way implying that I had taken any sort of pleasure in laying together with Raito, however, I am stating factually that as the day drew on, my body felt much colder than it had ever before. It was, to say the least, unusual, for me to allow my surroundings to hinder my work, but my generally unfeeling skin was littered in bumps and it was a struggle trying to keep my fingers still.

Was I the only individual bothered by the noticeably low temperature? My eyes drifted to Mogi who sorted papers nonchalantly, wearing the clothing that he had been every day in the past. Watari had not informed me of a temperature change, and after observing them for a while, none of the task force showed any signs of discomfort with their habitat.

As my eyes landed on Matsuda, I had to pause a moment in wonder at the amount of infantile behavior he exerted even while doing such a menial task as distributing food he had been sent to fetch. No sign of displeasure at all, in fact quite he appeared quite elated with his tasks.

Whimsically, I shifted my gaze to Raito, catching him delicately pulling a strand of hair behind his ear. Dare I say it seemed particularly feminine. Though that was probably due to his delicate rounded features, contrasted to my own sharp, facial structure. It was not often, if rarely ever, that I met a man with a softness to the likes of which he possessed. His face could easily be called beautiful; As far as elegance goes, he outshone even the most vibrant and respectable women.

I noticed it had been a while since I had seen Raito working so diligently, it seemed as if that night of sleep really had benefited him. "Ryuzaki?" Blinking into focus, I acknowledged the disturbingly angelic man with a curt nod. "You are staring at me." Had I been? Odd, seeing as I was usually quite aware of the times that I meaninglessly stared, which happened more often then I preferred to admit. "Is that so?" I really needed to collect my thoughts, I had not been able to truly concentrate on necessary stuff all morning, merely on the whimsical… such as the cold or the grace that was Raito. It was as if my blood had chilled and my ability to form coherent thoughts slowed as well. With a questioning glance, he confirmed my inquiry.

"I'm sorry." My body flooded with shivers, a cold like the winds of Winchester settling within me. I had to focus in order to retrieve my phone, trembling fingers… quivering... I dialed a familiar number. "Watari." I swallowed roughly, choking down nonexistent bile. What could explain my piping nerves at the mere thought of asking such a thing? By doing so, could it be possible that I was admitting to an inability to handle a situation such as this? "Please raise the thermostat considerably." He agreed as I knew he would, but my eyes lingered on the phone even though he had long ago hung up.

I felt almost ashamed of my incapacity as I pocketed the device, my attention being snared.

"Ryuzaki, I found something."

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"I seek answers…"

"What could you desire to know of me which you already do not?"

"It'd be nice to distinguish what motivated you to kill the one you claimed to love."

"No sooner than you say as to why you chose not to kill the one you claimed to hate."

"Your amorphous love initially led to my death."

"I beg to differ, your gossamer hate ultimately led to my victory."

"Such a hate I developed for your erudite charisma."

"Your inscrutable behavior."

"Those irrevocable words…"

"Off our lips in the night."

"Our propensity to fall in love."

"Though, a querulous duo…"

"Our resilience,"

"Sedulousness."

"It's no wonder we've loved and laughed and died…"

"And died and laughed and loved…"

"And loved…?"

"Yes, loved…"

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That night I thought it best to allow Raito to rest again; While working on a decent amount of sleep, he had managed to pinpoint an alleged Kira residing within the Yotsuba cooperation. It was maddening, every sliver of evidence that fell to our feet pointed at Raito's innocence, but my gut refused to let me accept it, I was never wrong about things such as this.

I watched the rising and falling of his chest, seeming to become a different man entirely once those lids slid closed. His body twitched every moment or so, the obvious effects of REM setting in. Curiosity struck again and I wondered if my touch would induce the same deathly calm that it had the night before.

"You are Kira."

I stated aloud, fingers resting lazily on the home keys as my research lay temporarily forgotten in my lap, my attention shifting to something much more appealing to the eye. The faintest of twitches, could it have been just another antagonizing dream or had he somehow subconsciously reacted to that word? "Kira." Calling the essence that was Raito such a thing left a vile taste in my mouth, despite how true it may actually be.

"Kira, wake up." Perhaps I was torturing myself, it seemed as if this purely investigative action hurt me much more than it could anybody else. It was as if pitching him a cruel line, stooping to any means necessary to bait him, staring, searching for the smallest of body movements to imply that he familiarized himself in anyway with the name Kira.

"Kira."

I crawled into the bed, careful not to disturb the brunette. Leaning down, I let my lips linger on his ear as I murmured breathily, "Kira."

"L…"

My title came out as a sigh, the way my body reacted to the how that sound rang off his lips horrified me like nothing else could. Despite the considerable raise in temperature, somehow the cold had once again found me in comparison to his smoldering hot skin. One way or another my hand found its way under his shirt and I basked in satisfaction at the warmth that I seemed to absorb from the steamy flesh. I was taken by surprise at the gentle arching into my touch, the rippling of muscles raised the hairs on my neck.

"L…"

Again he called out to me, with that voice a blasphemous thought appeared. Could it have been myself that he was dreaming about? Many times words have slipped through those peachy lips whilst he slept but this was the first occurrence of him ever calling out to me… ever uttering a name of any sort. "Aaaahhhh…" His rumbling chest sent vibrations through my hand and straight to my heart, which beat (if even possible) more quickly than before.

"Raito-kun, wake up." I reverted back to his real name, eager to end the situation that became rather uncomfortable much too quickly. Was this beautiful creatures' existence purely just to torment me? At the moment though the expression on his face implied that he was not quite as innocent as everyone considered him to be. Why? Why did he make such faces while calling out my name?

The answer was beneath my nose as I gazed down at his writhing form, yet it was so difficult to grasp. There were many possible justifications… fighting, quarrelling… I analyzed every possibility save for that one forbidden sin that soon was confirmed as those pink lips spread again and moaned. "Aaaaah…. L…" I took notice that he had completely dropped my pseudonym and somehow that deeply bothered me.

"Raito, wake up." "Aaaaaahhh…" The sensual sound shot straight into my groin and left me biting my quaking lip.

I, the infamous L, that which could solve any case, imprison any person, and even hold the world within my grasp if I so wished it… was only human. I had the same carnal urges as the next man, felt the desires of my body overtake me. Never before though, had I ever associated a person, living flesh, with those thoughts… let alone someone I was close with, and a male no less.

The times I had pleasured myself, which were fairly many, There was never a face; No existing being had ever been able to extract these humiliating sensations from my body.

Until now.

Until this man spread his lovely lips and uttered my name in such a seductively sweet voice, like a song dripping lustfully off of that hot tongue. It drove me mad, watching him squirm and feeling those muscles dance against my skin. Somehow the scene presented before (or rather under) me effected me a bit too much, and I found myself gritting my teeth, feeling my erection make itself known.

I rolled off of the bed, thumping to the floor, it felt cold without him. His skin had spoiled me in just one night and that left me with two problems, my shivering limbs and the issue in my jeans. Not to mention I did not want to give him the unknown satisfaction of beating off to his nauseatingly beautiful face moaning my alias. "L…" I clenched my legs and dug my head into my knees, heart soaring wildly and unable to breath. "Don't say it…" I gritted out, this was quickly becoming very unprofessional.

For the remainder of the night I used every bit of energy I had to study up on the Yotsuba cooperation that Raito had placed under suspicion. As hours ticked by, my initial problem faded and by daybreak, I was completely turned off from having drowned myself in even more work than usual. Raito rose on his own, grumbling and he dragged himself out of bed to prepare for the day.

Not a word was spoken to me, he just went about in silence, avoiding my gaze. "Do you remember last nights dream?" I asked nonchalantly, trying hard to seem as if I didn't care as much as I did. Again I pondered if this could be considered self abuse as I locked onto his stiffening shoulders while he changed his shirt; The tender muscles shaped perfectly by his skin not going unnoticed. Yes, I had to be taking some sort of masochistic joy out of this or I would not continue doing so. "Yes, I do."

A lump formed in my throat and I had to turn down to my computer screen, acting as if whatever those blurry words, that I could not focus on, meant something incredibly vital to the case. "No interrogation?" I was surprised at his direct confrontation. I swallowed. "Your dreams are no business of mine." I retorted, standing, I already had a vague notion as to what exactly he had dreamt about.

"Even if they related to Kira?" I slapped his cuff back on him as he finished changing. "And did it?" I questioned, pinning him with my gaze. "No." He seemed genuinely surprised at my complete lack of curiosity. Never could he imagine the immensity of the things I considered at that moment, let alone that he was the main source of all of them.

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"How can we identify that as love?"

"I do not know."

"I thought you knew everything."

"I did, until you came along, after that, I knew nothing."

"Fooled me."

"Maybe, but you never fooled me."

"Yet I still killed you.

"Only because I let you."

"Why did you?"

"You've already asked me that."

"You never answered."

"Simply because I chose to."

"You shouldn't have."

"But I did."

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I could not begin to comprehend this sickening feeling, just stared intently at the spoon that stood up straight, abandoned in a bowl of ice cream that I had yet to touch. I hadn't been able to make sense of anything all morning, the many sleepless nights slowly taking their toll on me. "Is something troubling you Ryuzaki-san?" I prodded the spoon none to diligently, barely acknowledging Yagami-san.

The typing that drifted from beside me ceased as Raito looked up at his father. "Thank you Yagami-san for your concern, but I am fine." I was not, and I'm sure that not only Souichirou and Raito had noticed, but the rest of the task force as well.

We had uncovered too many incriminating facts about Yotsuba to keep track of, and while all of my coworkers grew excited at the development, I just wasn't stimulated the same way that I was every time I pinned an accusing finger on the brilliant brunette beside me.

It was while analyzing the many employees that I felt a scalding hand rest on my shoulder. I went rigid in my chair, I didn't have to avert my eyes from my screen to know whose palm had touched me so gently. "You don't seem like yourself." he whispered, avoiding gaining the attention of those around us. It was as if our roles had been reversed. Had not only a few days ago it been me consoling Raito's subtle personality change and not the other way around?

My eye twitched as I picked up a gummy bear, peeling off it's head and sliding it into my mouth. "Is that so? And how would I ordinarily seem Raito-kun?" I licked my lips and finished off the body, relishing in the delightful burst of sugar. Raito did not answer. He was, after all, the one who had always said that I could never be classified as 'ordinary', above all not by societies standards.

Yet, the same could be said for him.

His outstanding IQ and stunning good looks rose him far above the standard 'ordinary'. I gazed at my reflection in the monitor, analyzing every little detail. "And I far below it." "Ryuzaki?" Raito inquired, droning on with his work.

"We will be visiting miss Amane." I said decisively, raising from my chair. The brunette seemed surprised at the sudden change of pace, but complied none the less, locking up his computer. I don't think it's that he didn't quite trust the task force, simply did so for the sake of avoiding any unforeseen incidents… I didn't feel very fair by thinking of a certain individual, but it was no secret that incompetent people were never to my liking. That may be why Raito was so staggered at my willingness to see Misa Amane without her having pestered me about it.

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And I still wait here in the nothingness, thinking, wondering. Were all those people wrong when they spoke of a heaven or hell? Would this eternal abyss be the place I spend eternity? All alone? I couldn't move, couldn't talk, could do nothing but think about how the only mistake I made in my life had caused what was probably the downfall of humanity.

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"Misa would not get fat if she were to actually use her brain." I stated obviously, stealing a strawberry right off her slice of cake. "Are you calling Misa stupid!" She screeched, flailing her arms frantically. I stuck the fruit into my mouth, it's tender meat splitting beneath my teeth. How I preferred the strawberry, a candy polished marvelously by nature. "Ryuzaki!" I tried my finest to tune her out, focusing on something much more important that had caught my attention.

"Ryuzaki, why are you so sullen?" Raito asked, crossing his arms and eyeing me suspiciously. "Are you planning to give up simply because we haven't narrowed down any individuals?" I stared at my (attractive) suspect, shoving my thumb under my lip. "I am…" I trailed off, trying to find the proper adjective. "depressed." The room got quiet, even miss Amane said nothing, shifting her gaze between Raito and I. "Because I'm not Kira." He added.

He was quite the narcissist, thinking that everything that anyone thought was surely about him (albeit more often than not, it was), quite the god complex attitude that Kira would surely possess.

"4%."

I stated, causing his jaw to slacken ever so slightly. I would have never noticed had I not been staring at his mouth. "I am depressed because you are Kira…" I should have stopped there, but honesty could only be exhibited so much. "and yet all of the world is working against me, I know that I am right," I could feel the air thicken like bean paste with every word escaping my mouth. By now, miss Amane was yelling, though I paid her no heed as I watched Raito's face grow passive.

"because," My eyes followed his throat as he swallowed, I couldn't will myself to look away. "I am L." Portraying a dark look, Raito stood, forcing me to look back at my cake. "Ryuzaki." I glanced back at the monotone drawl only to meet a sharp blow to my face. The force was like none he'd used on me before. Even our mere squabble in the kitchen couldn't compare. I hit the floor with a crack and my wrist cried out in agony as it caught the chain and Raito with it. I sat up, staring in bewilderment at the twisted look of hate my companions eyes bore.

"You!" He exclaimed, marching closer and grabbing me by the shirt, raising me to meet him. The distance was so discreet I could see how absolutely beautiful he truly was… completely… flawless. "You really aggravate me you know that!" He shouted, his hot breath warming the tip of my nose.

"Enough to want to kill me perhaps?" I drawled, analyzing every move as his eyes narrowed even further. I kicked him in the jaw, sending him soaring back onto the couch. Somehow, I had miscalculated the force of my attack and hadn't taken the chain into consideration. This time it was my turn to be dragged forcibly across the room. My weight being considerably less than Raito, I had been hurled right into him, my knee striking the armrest with a painful accuracy.

The force of our weight at the angle we hit managed to topple the couch entirely over, landing the brunette first and then myself atop him. My body was washed in temporary warmth before the younger genius shoved me off, knocking me onto my rear. "You act as if you want me to be Kira, and since it's obvious that I am not, you can't stand that you are wrong, but you are wrong!"

Had he really just… asked me that? If I had wanted my first friend to be a mass murderer? Did I want to execute my first friend? That question… how could a genius like him not know my answer? His churning chocolate eyes waited for my response. His gaze made my flesh hot, it was as if nothing existed anymore, a purely passionate wrath crackled through the air around us.

He had me around his finger… my waking thoughts, my working thoughts, my midnight thoughts, he possessed them all. "Do I?" I whispered astonished. "I always knew I wanted Kira caught, though so does the rest of the ethnical world." His sharp eyes left me breathless, his even sharper tongue could tie my own rendering me powerless to him entirely. Even as he slept… his subconscious movements commanded me.

"Yes… It is clear to me now. I do not want anyone else to be Kira." He was not chained to me anymore… I was chained to him. "Honestly…" If someone who was not Kira could control me this way…. "I want you to be Kira." I could never forgive myself.

The next punch, if you could believe it, was even harder than the first. That simple motion triggered and all out fight, throwing fists and feet, learning from our mistakes and using the chain to our advantage.

That's what we were born to do. Observe and learn, trick and manipulate. At that point I could finally admit to myself that while I had been stringing him along, controlling his thoughts and using his fear to corner his subconscious, he'd been doing the exact same thing and much more to me against my knowledge.

I refused to become the mouse in this game. I had worked so hard to smoke out Kira and now he was right there, within my reach. His skin so hot as I brushed him in my attacks, it was almost too much for me. The noise levels had escalated, what with Misa screeching like a banshee and the room being destroyed piece by piece.

Raito's large hand grabbed my shirt again, only this time I grabbed back, refusing to be bested. We stared each other in the eye, challenging, daring each other to make the next move, fists poised and ready to strike.

He looked sinfully attractive like that.

I ostracized the thought. I was balancing on a fine line as it was, between justice and… and… and what? "I have never met anyone as selfish or childish as you!" Raito hissed, grinding his teethe and tightening his grip.

He was wrong. If I was selfish… I would just lock him away right now. Wouldn't I? Or would I just… keep him? Sleep in his warmth every night, my very own… Would that be me acting selfish?

"I will have Kira."

The look on his face was that of horror.

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"You can't have me L… You can;'t have me."

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Raito's head was resting on the table, pressing his jaw into an icepack. I myself was holding one against my eye. It had been several hours since our dispute and we certainly came out of that room with several reminders of what had occurred. Many things had happened since then, like Aizawa quitting while the rest of the task force left their original careers in order to remain working for me. Also, we had even managed to pinpoint an individual target number that the likelihood of the current Kira being amongst was 32%.

"How is your jaw?" I asked, breaking the silence as we sat there, neither of us typing. The exhaustion from the day placing even me in a standstill. "How's your eye?" He drawled back sarcastically. "How's your abdomen?" He lifted his head and turned to me icily. "How's your ear?" The tension in the room was suffocating and now even the others had stopped what they were doing to watch our scene unfold.

"How's your shoulder?"

"How's your wrist?"

"Enough!"

Raito and I turned to see Souichirou storm over to us. "You are both acting like children." He quickly turned from the chief of police into a father before our eyes. The feelings of tension dispersed as Raito and I both slackened our shoulders simultaneously.

Like two big, little, children.

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"Next time I'll remember that."

"But there won't be a next time, will there?"

"You never know, who am I to answer that? Why not ask your death god friends…"

"You've always acted like a child."

"This coming from someone such as yourself?"

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"Raito." My voice hummed, breaking the silence that had befallen the room. Days had passed since our spat, yet nothing had quite been the same since. "What is it L?" I flinched, I wasn't quite sure what had caused it, but Raito had been referring to me by my letter recently, and I couldn't pinpoint why it disturbed me so much, but it certainly left an uneasy feeling in my stomach. "You haven't slept in two nights."

The statement was not exaggerated, I had noticed that the brunette had been purposely denying himself sleep. The lack of movement and noise that his slumber usually brought had alerted me that the supposedly sleeping man had in fact laid in bed all night, never stirring, in an (disappointing) attempt to trick me.

"You never sleep." He retorted, refusing to face me. He lay on his side in the bed, my laptop rested on my knees as I sat curled next to him, for once off of the floor. "That is beside the point." I could not avert my eyes from the supple curve of his back, the occasional twitch being the only movement he made.

Like a predator laying in wake for hours, watching, waiting, stalking, as the oblivious prey scurried around in ignorant bliss, not knowing of the danger and never imagining that they would soon be dead…

"Don't give me trouble for picking up your bad habits."

The ability to remain dormant until the moment of attack, a trait not many humans, correction, not many sane humans could posses. A very rare characteristic that implied both mental instabilities and obsessive compulsive tendencies… Again, both being common traits in serial murderers.

"5%."

I watched Raito's body tense. "You hate me," His voice drifted softly on my ears. "admit it L, you can't stand me as a whole, you can't stand the way things have played out, you can't stand that I am innocent and therefore, you are wrong." This ugly conversation reared it's face once again and it brought my nail to my teeth. I just stared at that tussled, yet, angelic soft brown hair. "One should always, when faced with two decisions, go with their first instinct."

I shut my computer down, there would be no work tonight,

"Logic tries to trick you, create self doubt and contradict that which you already know inside is right." "Are you saying that logic is wrong? Is two plus two not four?" Twisting my words and blatantly ignoring my expressed opinion, a desperate need to always be right… he was really pushing 6%. "Yes, but is it also not true that every bit of information we had gathered pointed to you? And only when you were physically able to access that information did Kira start predicting our every step and counteracting our alleged 'secret' suspicion?"

I could hear the whirring from my laptop at the foot of he bed cease, the little light it had still offered disappearing.

My toes curled in excitement at being able to pin blame on the source of my current displeasure. "You are Kira."

A period of time went by, consumed in the black save for the stars glittering through the window, silence lingering thick in the air. Finally the brunette replied.

"You'd feel insulted, wouldn't you?" It felt awkward, staring through the dark at the back of that head, "If someone, not Kira, a normal someone, challenged your mental capabilities… could these accusations be the manifestation of a bruised pride?" As if I wasn't even worthy to look upon his face. An onlooker waiting to see God, despite the petty words of people who couldn't possibly understand, claiming that he did not exist.

But for some reason, not comprehendible even by yourself, you know, that when he turns around… You'll be right.

"Kira…" My throat clogged up, "is nothing more than a smart person with clouded ideas, I would not feel threatened by them… merely pity the waste of knowledge." Raito sat up, the black covers pooling at his waste as he finally turned to face me, a violent, disdain seeping from his stare.

"I am not Kira, implying that he is a waste does not concern me in the least. I am sick of your games L, I cannot even sleep anymore, because of this constant…" He stood angrily, feet knocking my laptop to the floor, "torture. Both physically and mentally that you relentlessly force me…" My arm was grabbed, I couldn't help but stare in wonder at the display as I was dragged closer to the brunette, his nose crushing spitefully into mine. "to endure."

The room was quite, his aggravated outburst leaving behind a bitter tension, his warm nose never parting from my own.

"Is the pressure of being Kira finally crushing you under it's weight?"

I asked gingerly, I really had to start controlling my own tongue for once. "No, Ryuzaki…" His hand began to crush my forearm in loathing, "You, L, are crushing me. I am only human, I can't go on this way. How could anyone remain sane with you tearing at them every chance you get?" he was shouting directly in my face, voice so loud my ears had stung.

Yet again I started comparing myself with a child, one whose crossed the line and their parents aren't sure if they could take anymore. I am not so ignorant as to deny that I antagonize people, though not always purposely. Yet with Raito… he was a special case. "Is it really? Or is that small subconscious part of your mind panicking because I am L? And if that is so…" His eyes blurred over as if some dark shadow had encased him. "I am the enemy."

He was the one person who could continuously take me by surprise. "L, you make me so…" My heart slammed into my ribcage, his close proximity making it difficult to breath let alone think. Memories of those forbidden noises Raito had made in his sleep resurfaced and warning bells shot off in my head. "So… what?" I ventured, holding back from swallowing, I would not show any implications of him making me nervous. "So…" The silence was deafening, pounding mercilessly against my ears.

A predator closing in on his prey, the distance between us vanished, leaving my lips burning at the fiery touch of his own.

It was awkward, for both of us. Lips pressed together motionless, waiting for something, I stood there frozen. "Why is it so different from then?" The question had not been directed at me, but the loss of warmth left me lonely as he pulled away. As simple as touching mouths, under any other circumstance it would have been so innocent… but it was a sin, in the eyes of God and of the law, though it left my heart churning. The taste of bile flooded my mouth, "It's there, this feeling, but it's different." Raito continued, staring up at the dark roof with an intense concentration.

I wasn't sure what to think about the situation, I had just been kissed by my suspect… by Kira.

Before I could react, my shoulders were grabbed and I was shoved down onto the bed, the stunning brunette straddling me. "How is it possible to be attracted to the person you hate!" My eyes widened but I knew it was already too late for me. My heart was racing and all I wanted was to feel his hot lips once more.

"Kiss me again."

I couldn't resist my carnal desire. Raito seemed lost as well, diving in closer he caught my mouth frantically. This time he spread his own and ran his acidic tongue along my lips. I parted them out of reflex and was met with a stunning sensation as that hot organ slipped inside me. The silent world around me faded into a dark nothing, my eyes remained open though, staring at the barely visible shut lids of Raito. This feeling even I could not begin to explain.

My mind begged me to shove him off, but that thought only went so far as to push him over, flipping our positions. Though our lips never separated as I climbed onto him, his tongue being chased back into his own mouth while I purged forward and tasted what he had to offer.

Neither sweet nor unpleasant, his hot saliva warmed my throat as our tongues danced erotically together. I could no longer even distinguish whose belonged to whom. Large hands grabbed my neck and held me, no, pulled me closer, which at the time seemed physically impossible. A searing kiss, I could taste the same confusion and frustration that I felt pouring from him. It was Kira I was kissing, but he tasted nothing like the death and murder that he left in his wake.

As I found the will to pull back, I stared down at the tussled angel. "Do you really hate me?" I asked, the night sinking in on the situation. "Do you hate me?" He returned in question, brown eyes pooling with confusion. "I hate Kira." I said, my arms giving out beneath me. My body pressed down into his, my nose buried itself in the crook of his neck, my eyes, never closing.

"You're so cold." He whispered. This Raito almost seemed different from the one I've come to know.

"I hate these dreams."

Realization dawned on me, the pain in my chest excruciating.

"Why is it so different this time?"

All this while, he had thought that this was a dream… had his sleeping experiences actually gotten that real?

"It'll be over when you wake up."

I said it like a professional should, but I could not stop the clenching of my heart. To think that to him, this night never happened, that I was just another dream. I found it hard to believe he had already completely given in to that world.

Soon his breathing evened out, and I knew without looking that he was sound asleep, yet I did not move. Just laid there on him, warm and tangled, both physically and mentally.

There were so many things wrong with the situation. How could I have possibly let it go this far? Where was Watari? Why hadn't he been here to stop this? To scold me like a child and provide the guidance I needed more than anything right now. He could see through the camera, I knew he could. So why was I left to decipher these feelings on my own?

I laid there on him, never blinking, waiting for dawn… Mortified by my actions and even more so by the unfamiliar fluttering of my heart.

A/N: Hey everybody, thanks for the lovely reviews, I'm so sorry about how late this chapter is! Please let me know what you think and I'll try to have the next one up sooner!