TIC Extra #3

Timeline: The scene is set during TIC: B3, after Sims phases to help save Seth.

Characters: Embry, Sims

Rating: T

Word Count: 1672

Warnings: Mild language


Embry had known better.

But apparently, it didn't matter that Embry had known better, because when it came down to it, Embry's opinion didn't matter. If Embry's opinion had mattered, his girl would have looked at him, would have talked to him, before walking out of that door with Jake. If Embry's opinion had mattered, she would have given him a second to tell her that he knew, he knew, that this wasn't right for her. His gut told him that, or maybe it was the fact that playing around the edges of his mind was knowledge he couldn't access, things that his wolf had felt was better off for him not to know, knowledge that said that she wasn't right for this.

Sims was his lover, his most important person, and she hadn't even paused for a second when Embry had called out for her to come back, to listen to him. Of all that had happened in his life, few things had ever been able to make him feel that useless, that impotent, as having to watch her walk into the biggest mistake of her life. And to be honest, the fact that she had used Paul to "restrain" him was something that infuriated Embry to no ends.

But Embry loved her, loved her more than he had ever loved someone else, and so he was trying to suck up his hurt and his anger, and he was trying his best to shove those emotions away, because right now they wouldn't help anything. Not when her mind was so lost that all they were getting from her was sights and sounds and flickers of memories that weren't part of anything any of them had ever seen before. Not when his own face flickered in more than anything else.

Embry's opinion might not have mattered to her before she had chosen this, but he still mattered to her. It was a difficult feeling, questioning if what he represented meant more than who he actually was to his lover, and Embry tried not to feel like that put him in second place with himself.

She had hurt him today, had left him behind today, had left him out of 'them' today. She had made their decisions for both them, and Embry had enough pride to resent that. Because in truth, they were tied so tightly together that the decisions she made were going to affect him, very much so. He always took her into account, always. Every day he got up and he looked at his mottled eyes in the mirror and he forced himself to be what they both needed him to be. Steady, responsible, consistent no matter how fucked up he was on any given day. Strong, supportive, understanding…and Sims tried to be all of those things too, but when push came to shove, she was like Jake. The Alpha would decide first, and wouldn't question his decisions until later. Jake would do what he felt was right and to hell what everyone else was screaming all around him. He would make the hard choices, but they all would have to live with his decisions.

Apparently they all had to live with her decisions, too.

It was hard, lying here curled around his lover, thinking these things. He felt like an ass, more concerned with his wounded feelings than the fact that she had given up everything for Seth, for their Pack. And he felt like a hypocrite too, because he knew that he had made decisions for her before without her ever knowing them. But Embry was human, and he was hurt, and this had been a bad day. Talking to her would have helped, but she was still floating through the river that was the Packmind as if a leaf on the surface, drifting wherever it took her. If Jake hadn't already been able to get through to her once, to calm her mind down and make her focus, then Embry would have been terrified right now. Instead Jake had said to let her drift, to give her time to come back to herself, to keep only one Packmate's voice in her head so that it was less confusing for her.

His wolf thought that—

Embry didn't care. He didn't want to hear it.

His wolf thought—

No. Not today.

Wounded, self-doubting, and just so damn tired, Embry curled up around his girl a little closer. He needed her right now, needed her to reassure him, but he knew that when she came out of this, she would need his reassurance more. She had been strong earlier for their Pack, for Seth, and now Embry was going to have to be strong for her. So Embry pressed his nose into her fur and tried to remind himself that he wasn't a horrible person for wanting them to have an easier life, and to be thankful that she loved him as much as he loved her. It wasn't her fault that one more section had been taken out of his white picket fence, things had just unfortunately worked out this way. But he could still have his dreams and have her and have everything be okay. He would just…he would just try harder.

They would figure this out together, the way they always did. And until then, Embry would be strong enough for both of them. He would. He just needed some way to center himself, something to concentrate on to give him that steadiness that they both needed right now.

It was what he did every day, finding something to focus on so hard that it held the wolf in control. Sometimes it was his brother, Jake, and how much Jake had given up to try and keep Embry happy. Sometimes it was his work, and how much he loved what he did. But mostly it was Sims. Her sleepy smile when she woke up in his arms. The way she chewed her pencil eraser when she was studying something difficult. The look in her eyes when they made love. He would pick something every day and make that the reason he was strong that day.

Today it would be her tail.

At first it had worried Embry how small Sims' wolf form was, as if something else was wrong with her, besides the fact that she couldn't stop phasing at first, or that her mind was having a hard time adjusting to this new form. But it made sense, really. She was only five and a half feet tall to his six and a half feet, and Embry wasn't even the largest of them. Jack was Leah's size, and they were both six feet tall. It only made sense that she was going to be smaller, and Embry had to admit that once the shock wore off, that he thought it was cute.

She would hate it, obviously, because she wasn't big on appearing weak, but Embry figured that if his opinion hadn't been given any choice in the matter, at least he ended up with an adorable mate. He liked her paw, the tan fur blending with chocolate near her ankle, and as he nuzzled her small, triangular ears with his nose, he decided that he liked them even more than her paw. Embry also decided that he'd better go find her leech tooth piercing back in the clearing because she'd be unhappy if she thought that she lost it.

And when Sims whined and curled up a little tighter into her ball, sticking her nose beneath the tan tip of her tail, Embry decided that his favorite was her tail. Today he would focus on her tail, and he would be strong because of that little tan tail tip. She had been strong already, and now it was his turn. And when this day was over, and maybe another few days were over as well, Embry was planning on taking his mate running, to see if she was as fast as he thought she was. If she wasn't, well then she'd better learn to guard her heels because he was planning on nipping that little tan tail tip as often as he could catch her.

Sims was starting to wake up, starting to slowly come back to herself, but she didn't know where she was. She knew that it was cool and it was dark and it was damp, all accept for one warm place that she was leaning against. She recognized the grey tail curling around her own and it was with a deep, almost panicky relief that she realized he was there.

That almost offended him. Of course he was there, where else would he be? He loved her. Sims thought that it was tempting to want to lean into him a little more, and Embry decided that if Sims wanted to lean on him, then she should. After all, he was her mate, and he was warm, and she was still shaking.

The shaking would go away and so would the confusion, and after he had gently coaxed her out of the hiding spot, he'd even get to nip that tail a couple times on the way back to Seth's. Watching her yelp indignantly and scuttle in front of him would be as fun as he'd thought it would be, and having her flatten herself against his side before licking his throat and jaw would be better. And when she finally, finally phased human again and could stay that way, it was Embry who would still be waiting for her, Embry whose hands would hold her until again the confusion and the shaking went away.

It wasn't what Embry had wanted for them, but this was how it was now. It couldn't be changed, and they would all just have to learn to live with it. He would have to learn to live with it. But just in case anyone ever bothered to ask, Embry had known better.

No one ever asked.