A/N: And so here we have the next installament. I must admit, I'm not as happy with this part as I'd like to be, but it's a bit of a bridge between the last chapter and the next, so hopefully the next part will be better.


The show the next night nearly killed Tegan. With every song of hers, she was forced to relive the pain of her seemingly unrequited love, each one bringing back another memory filled with loneliness and longing for the one person she could never have. For years people had tried to work out the meaning behind the lyrics she penned, but no one ever unveiled the truth within her words. Tegan's love for her sister was her most closely guarded secret, and she had fought to keep it under lock and key. Now though, with revelation of Sara's own feelings, Tegan could feel her will to ignore it slipping away through her fingertips like sand.

Along with the pain of her own songs came the pain of hearing Sara's. Suddenly, every line, every word that she had once been unable to decipher was as clear as day. Tegan's twin had literally been professing her feelings for years and Tegan hadn't even noticed. The sadness in Sara's voice as she sang the words so obviously meant for her made Tegan feel so very guilty. Every song cut her deeper than the last until she was fighting the urge to put down her guitar and leave the stage. Her twin had been suffering alone, and she had been too caught up in her own sadness to notice.

The twins hadn't spoken since Tegan had angrily professed that she hated Sara, a statement she entirely regretted, and their concert suffered as a result. Their usual banter was practically non-existent, and the audience was picking up on the strange tension between the sisters. Tegan had never been happier to end a show in her life. She made a beeline for their dressing room almost the instant she left the stage, ignoring the concerned looks from the band. Tegan didn't care; she needed to be alone.

Tegan's recent bad luck wouldn't allow her even that simple request, and so she opened the dressing room door to reveal her sister already there, sitting in the middle of the floor, eyes red from the tears Tegan could see shining on her cheeks. It made her heart ache to see her sister so torn up, but she refused to give in to the urge to sit on the floor with Sara and hold her until they both found some peace in their messed up situation. She turned to leave, but was held back by one compulsion that she couldn't ignore; Tegan needed to know if Sara had been suffering this twisted sickness for as long as she had.

"How long?" she whispered, the mere fact that she had spoken at all surprising her twin. Sara clearly hadn't been expecting her to.

Sara sighed, and Tegan watched as her shoulders slumped, as tired as she was herself from the weight of the burden that life had thrust upon them. Tegan understood her twin's resignation; it was the mindset of someone who, like she herself had, had tried to run from their feelings only to be dragged back, kicking and screaming, desperate to escape what nature had made them.

Sara cleared her throat a little, apparently thinking over Tegan's question. She would not meet her twins eyes as she uttered one word that Tegan had been both hoping for, and dreading.

"Always."