Pit-Trap: I do not own these characters, TF2, etc.

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C is for cat.

Sniper slammed the door to his camper van shut. He then turned to make his way back towards the base. His camper van was actually parked around the back of their Teufort base, so he headed for the entrance to Engineer's workshop (which was the base's back entrance). Catching Spy smoking there or Engineer sitting on some of the wooden crates littered around the entrance was pretty common. Finding Scout sitting on a wooden crate with a cat cuddling next to him was not.

"Scout?"

Scout snapped his head up. "Snipes!" His eyes quickly darted to the cat and then back to Sniper's. "Uh, what's up?"

Sniper chuckled. "I should be askin' you that," he said, nodding towards the cat. "Wot 'cha got there?"

"Nothin'," Scout answered quickly.

"Well "nothin'" sure seems ta like ya," Sniper said as he sat on a crate across from Scout. He watched the cat rub against Scout's side, purring. The cat had tan, sandy colored fur covered with black spots. The cat's bright amber eyes watched Sniper for a moment before looking back towards Scout.

Scout looked down at the cat, petting it. "I guess," he mumbled. "Found her on the other side of the base. She's real skinny, see? So I brought her inside to give her some turkey slices. Medic caught me," he said sheepishly. "Started yellin' at me to get the cat out of the base."

"Ah," Sniper nodded.

"I mean, what's the big deal about bringing one little cat inside?"

Sniper chuckled. "She's not what I'd call a little cat. She's real skinny, yeah, but she's pretty tall fer a cat. Looks like a domestic Bengal ta me," he said, looking at the cat. "And don't let Medic get ta ya. He was prolly jus' worried the cat would go fer some of his doves."

"Well, yeah!" Scout snorted. "She was hungry! I mean, look how skinny she is. We're in, like, a freakin' desert. What's out there for her to eat? I had to bring her in and give her somethin' to eat. She was real thirsty, too."

"Yeah," Sniper reached over to the cat and let her sniff his hand before he pet her head. "I would've given her somethin' ta eat, too."

"And what're the chances of her findin' our base anyways? She could-a been wanderin' around in the desert forever! She could-a starved."

"Yeah."

"I bet she doesn't have any place to go..."

"Mmm-hmm…"

"And we can't just let her go back into the desert…"

"Scout," Sniper started to warn. "You best stop right there."

"Aw, c'mon, Snipes! We can't jus' throw her back out into the desert!" Scout repeated in a pleading tone. "We could keep her!"

"Oh, you think Medic'll like that idea? And I can't wait ta see Solly's face when we tell 'im we're gonna keep a cat," Sniper said. "Scout, I like cats jus' as much as you do, but there's no way we could keep her here."

Scout frowned, lowering his gaze back down to the cat curled up to his side. "S'not fair," he grumbled. "Medic can keep his doves, but I can't keep a cat."

Sniper then felt something he hadn't feel very much. A twinge of guilt. Few knew this: he liked animals, cats included. Sure, he hunted and such, but he grew up on a farm. He had cats, dogs, goats, horses, all kinds of animals. You name it, Sniper probably had one at some point. He also, contrary to popular belief, liked Scout. He didn't want the Bostonian to be all down in the dumps. And the kid did have a point: letting her go back into the desert was a bit cruel. But they couldn't keep her… "Tell you wot, Poppy," Sniper said as he nudged Scout's shin with his foot. "I'll keep the cat in me camper 'till the end of the week. And this weekend, we'll drive up to that little town forty miles away from here and find her a good home there. That way we won't be banishin' her back to the desert and she'll have a permanent home. Sound good?"

Scout looked over to his teammate, thinking about his offer. "Yeah," he said, nodding slowly.

So the cat, who Sniper insisted they were not to name, found temporary residence in Sniper's camper van. She would sleep on his clothes (clean or not), eat bits of meat he brought back from meals, and stubbornly demand the Australian's attention whenever he was in the van. She demanded Scout's attention the other half of the time. Scout was now frequently visiting his van just to see her. He seemed to enjoy the time he spent with the cat. Sniper was going to dread the day they'd have to get rid of the cat, for he knew Scout wouldn't like it. Sniper choose not to think about it. So far, their little plan was going well and none of their teammates suspected a thing. Until Wednesday came along, that is.

"Cat?" Sniper stepped out of his camper van, looking from side to side. He had let the cat out to relieve herself and after fifteen minutes, he hadn't heard her meowing at the door to be let back in. Great. Scout would throw a hissy fit when he found out he lost the cat. Sniper looked all around his van, but didn't find her anywhere near it. Near the back entrance, maybe? Oh, he hoped not. If the door was open, the cat could just wander in. But that door was rarely o- "Goddamn it," Sniper swore. The back door that led to Engineer's workshop was open. Sniper walked it, scanning the workshop. Hopefully, Engineer wasn't-

"Hey, Sniper!"

Goddamn it. Engineer was in here. Sniper turned to see him sitting on a stool in front of a table. What he was doing at the table made Sniper's jaw drop. "You little mongrel!" he said.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Not you, Truckie," Sniper said sheepishly. "The cat you're pettin'."

The sandy colored cat sat on a table, purring away as Engineer scratched her behind the ears. Engineer looked from her to Sniper. "You, uh, know her?"

"Yeah, she's Scout's cat," Sniper explained. "Wait, no, she's not. He jus' found her outside the base. Wanted ta keep her. So I've been keepin' her in me camper van for the past few days."

"So yer keepin' her?"

"No," Sniper snorted. "We're gonna drive her into town this weekend and find her a permanent home."

"You are."

"Yes."

"And Scout agreed to that?"

"I hope so."

Engineer chuckled. "Good luck this weekend, then," he said, still petting the cat.

The cat soon found her second temporary residence: Engineer's workshop. With all those little places to hide in, interesting smells, and a friendly Texan to play with, it was the perfect place to sneak to whenever Sniper let her out. Engineer didn't seem to mind. He seemed to enjoy the cat's company, even. But he always made sure the door from his workshop to the base was closed, so the cat wouldn't wander even further into the base. Still, no matter how much Scout, Sniper, or Engineer tried to hide their furry companion, it wasn't soon until another BLU found out about the cat.

Sniper was in his camper van, cleaning his gun. He had just let the cat out a while ago. Deciding she had been out long enough, Sniper got up to let her in. He pushed the door open, calling, "Here-"

"Auugh!"

Sniper jumped. He leaned further out the door to look to his right, around the open door. "Spook?"

Spy had probably been leaning against the camper van before Sniper opened the door. Now, however, he was currently holding his nose, cursing in French. "'ello to you too," he spat rather viciously a moment later.

"What the hell you doin' here?"

"None of you business."

"Considerin' yer out here at my camper van, I reckon it is."

Spy gave Sniper a withering look. He removed his hands from his nose, relieved to find it not bleeding. "I was curious," he said after a moment. "As to why Scout was coming out to your van so much recently." He straightened his tie before pointing to his feet. "I 'ave now confirmed why."

Sniper looked down. There, sitting right next to Spy's left foot, was the sandy colored cat. She looked up at Sniper lazily before glancing back at Spy and meowing. Sniper frowned. "Look here," he pointed to Spy threateningly. "You tell anyone 'bout this cat-"

Spy held up one of his hands. "No worries, bushman," he said. "I'm just surprised Scout 'as yet to let it slip out yet."

"Wait, so ya already knew-"

"I did say I confirmed zhe reason as to why Scout suddenly came out 'ere so much. And I may 'ave overheard a conversation or two," Spy smirked. He reached down the pet the cat one last time. "Au revoir, petite chat," he said. With a small wave to Sniper, Spy walked back towards the base.

After that, Sniper was pretty sure the rest of the team would find out about the cat before he and Scout had a chance to get rid of it. So it wasn't too much of a shock to Sniper when he walked into Engineer's workshop Thursday to find Engineer, Heavy, and Pyro cooing over the cat. All of them would deny that to this day, however (except maybe Pyro). Demoman saw the cat as well (though he was probably too drunk to remember much about the encounter). Soldier was another story. Sniper was expecting him to go off about a cat just being near the base, but…

Sniper was gaping. He couldn't really help it. Soldier was just standing there, having a completely normal conversation with Engineer. And that wasn't even the weird part. Scout was sitting a few feet away, playing with the cat with a sock. And Soldier didn't even notice. He acted like Scout and the cat weren't even there. "I dunno, Engie," Soldier was saying.

"Aw, give it a shot, Sol," Engineer said. "Ya don't know 'till ya try."

"But it's so… un-American."

"That's kinda the point," Engineer rolled his eyes beneath his goggles. "It's British."

Soldier still frowned. He looked thoughtful. The look didn't even break the look as the cat wandered over to Soldier and rubbed against his leg. In fact, he actually reached down to pet it. Looking down at the cat and then over to Scout, Soldier changed the subject. "Why haven't you let the cat into the base yet?"

Yet?

Before Scout could answer, Sniper broke in, "You mean you knew about the cat?"

Soldier looked a bit surprised. "Yeah," he said. "Engie told me about it. Why haven't you two let her into the base yet? I thought she's been here for a few days."

Scout tossed the sock and the cat tore away from Soldier to pounce on it. "I can't," he said to Soldier. "Medic'll throw a fit if I do. 'sides it's not like we can keep her."

"Who told you that?"

Scout looked at Sniper, who frowned in return."Look, I don't have any qualms about keepin' the cat," the Australian said to Soldier. "I figured you 'n' Medic would have issues keepin' the cat."

"You kidding?" Soldier snorted. "I ain't got a problem with the cat stayin'. I like cats!"

"You do?"

"Yeah," Soldier look at the cat. "'sides, we could use one around here. We got mice. 'specially here in Engie's workshop."

"I don't got mice in here!" Engineer shouted indignantly. He paused before asking, "Do I?"

Before anyone could confirm that, Scout piped up, "So… we can keep her?"

"Sure," Soldier shrugged.

"Now, hold up a minute," Sniper said. "The whole reason I told Scout no in the first place was 'cause I didn't think everyone would like her. I know you all like her, but I think everyone in the base should agree ta keep her."

"Sniper's got a point," Engineer pointed out. "I know almost everyone has seen her and is fine with her, but… Not everyone has seen the cat."

Scout and Soldier frowned.

"Y'all need ta run this by Medic," Engineer looked between the other BLUs. "If he's alright with it, we'll keep her. If not, then Scout 'n' Sniper'll have to find her a better home this weekend."

Scout groaned and Soldier's frown seemed to deepen. Then, rather abruptly, Soldier turned and walked out of Engineer's workshop. The other three blinked after him and then at each other. What was Soldier doing? It took a few minutes, but the three did find out. Soldier walked back in the workshop, dragging Medic along with him. "Mein Gott," Medic was saying. "Vhat is it, Soldier?"

Soldier stopped walking and just pointed to Scout's feet, where the sandy colored cat sat.

Medic paused. After fixing his glasses, he looked down at the cat. "Is zat zhe same cat from before?" He asked Scout.

"Uh, yeah," Scout gave a small nod.

"You never got rid of it, did you?"

"Not really, no," Scout said as he looked at his feet.

"Vhy am I not surprised," Medic rolled his eyes before looking back at Soldier. "Vhat is it you vanted?"

Soldier looked at Medic before looking to the cat. He repeated this a few times. Scout did the same. Sniper and Engineer both cast a few glances at the cat before keeping their gazes on Medic as well. None of them said anything for a minute.

Medic shifted uncomfortably. "Vhy do I feel like I caught you all vith your hands in zhe cookie jar, hmm?" He looked at each of his fellow BLUs. They all continued to glance and him and then to the cat. Medic looked down at the cat. Then he looked back to his teammates. He narrowed his eyes. Then it hit him. "Oh no."

"Oh, yes," Soldier grinned.

"You all vant to keep zis cat."

"Yes!"

"Affirmative!"

"Sure thing, mate."

"I wouldn't mind a cat being here an' all..."

"You all," Medic motioned to the other four. "Vant to keep zis random cat Scout found in zhe desert here in our base vhere ve live?"

They all nodded.

"In zhe base?"

More nodding.

"Vith us?"

Again with the nodding.

"Aw, c'mon, doc," Scout pleaded before Medic could say anything else. "We'll keep her out you your hair. She won't go near your birds!"

"She could get rid of all them mice we have in our base," Soldier said. "Trust me, Engie really needs her!"

"I do not have mice in here!" Engineer grumbled to Sniper. "I mean," he sputtered when Scout and Soldier gave him the same look. "If I did, help would be appreciated."

"Please, please, please, doc!" Scout was bouncing up and down. "We'll take care of her! Ya won't even have ta look at her, pet her, anything! Ya can ignore her completely."

"Ack, stop vith zhe jumping, Scout!"

Scout did so, but still looked expectantly at Medic. In fact, all the others were, too.

Medic shifted uncomfortably again. "Everyone else already knows about it, ja?"

"Uh-huh."

"Yeah."

"And zey are alright vith zhe cat staying?"

"Yes!"

Medic let out a long sigh, staring at his other four teammates. "I vant zhe cat kept out of zhe infirmary," he said sternly. "She goes after one of my doves and she is out of here! Understood?"

Scout tried not to squeal. "Yes!" he gushed. "Thanks, doc!"

"Ja, ja…"

"Hey, hey, Snipes," Scout jabbed Sniper in the side. "I'ma name her now, 'kay?"

Sniper rolled his eyes. "S'fine with me now, Poppy," he chuckled.

"I used ta have a real good cat named Whiskers," Engineer said. "Why don't we call her that?"

"That's not girly enough. She's a chick cat, Engie."

"How about Fluffy?"

Everyone gave Soldier a weird look.

"What?"

"Eh," Scout shook his head. "She's not fluffy enough."

"Sandy?" Sniper tried.

"That's so boring, though," Scout frowned.

"Lyra."

Everyone turned to look at Medic.

"Vhat?" Medic frowned, narrowing his eyes at all his teammates. "Can I not make a suggestion as vell?"

"It's not that," Soldier said. "I figured you try to give her some weird-o, Greek scientist name or something."

"It is a Greek name," Medic rolled his eyes.

"I like it," Scout piped up. "It's girly enough for her, but not boring."

"Not bad at all," Sniper nodded.

"Lyra it is then!" Soldier agreed.

Engineer chuckled, reaching down to pet the sandy colored cat. "Welcome to the BLU team, Miss Lyra," he said.

Lyra looked up and let out a meow.

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C is for cards.

Each member of BLU had their own little quirks, oddities, and weird little habits. Spy had one. Spy had an odd habit that involved cards. He almost always carried a deck with him. He liked playing cards games, yes, but that wasn't what he usually did with his cards. Spy had a habit of shuffling his cards whenever he needed to think. Over and over again, he'd shuffle and shuffle the cards as he thought. He would often deal them out, like one would in a game, and then gather them back up to be reshuffled again. Spy just needed something to keep his hands busy while he thought. If his cards weren't available, one of his many knives would do instead, but he much preferred cards.

The BLU team quickly learned that when Spy was shuffling cards, he was deep in thought and they tried their best not to bother him. Well, most of the BLUs did. Whenever Scout saw Spy messing with his cards, Scout took it as an invitation to join him. Strangely enough, Spy had yet to once snap at Scout for interrupting his card shuffling.

"What 'cha thinkin' about?" Scout asked as he walked over to Spy, upon noticing he was shuffling cards at the kitchen table.

Spy didn't look up. He kept his eyes on the cards as he dealt them out. "Nothing too serious this time," he said eventually.

"Oh," Scout sat across from Spy, watching him shuffle and deal.

Spy gathered the cards up once more, still not looking at Scout, and started to shuffle them. Once done, he formed a neat stack and set them on the table. He took a few from the top and spread them out in his hand, looking at them. "I was thinking," Spy finally looked over to Scout. "About zhe cards."

"The cards?"

"Oui," Spy nodded, turning his attention back to the cards. "And I was thinking 'ow we all represented a card."

"We?" Scout looked puzzled. "Ya mean like all us BLUs?"

"Oui," Spy selected a card from his hand and pulled it from the rest. "For instance," he showed the card to Scout. It was a King of Spades. "'eavy would be a King." Spy tossed the card to Scout before selecting another card. "And Medic would be 'is Queen." He tossed another card.

Scout caught the Queen of Hearts card. He glanced at it briefly before snorting, "I have a feelin' Medic would disagree with ya on that one."

Spy grinned. "Perhaps," he said, picking out another card and showing it to Scout. "Engineer would be a Spade because a spade is an actual tool." He slid the card over. "While Demoman would be a Club."

As Spy handed him a Spade and Club card, Scout asked, "Why would Demo be a Club?"

"Eet is close to zhe symbol of Ireland."

"But Demo's Scottish."

"Close enough."

Scout snickered.

"Soldier would be Diamonds, and Pyro 'earts," Spy pulled the cards from his hand and flicked them towards Scout.

"Pyro? Hearts?" Scout looked at the Eight of Hearts in his hand. "Why?"

Spy looked thoughtful. "I 'ave no real reason for zat one," he admitted after a small moment. "'earts was just what was left and all I really 'ad in mind for 'im."

Grinning, Scout just raised an eyebrow.

"Sniper would 'ave to be a Jack," Spy pulled a Jack from his hand. "Because 'e is a jackass." He slammed the card facedown on the table.

Scout laughed.

"And you, Scout, would be a Joker. You would be a Joker," Spy started to explain before Scout could ask why. "Because zhe Joker card is useless in many games." Spy held up a hand for silence when Scout started to spit at the supposed insult. "But in a select few games, a Joker 'appenes to be a wild card, a card zat trumps all others." Spy handed Scout a Joker card.

Scout looked from the Joker card in his hand, to Spy, and then back at the card in his hand. He couldn't decide whether Spy had insulted him or complemented him. He suddenly stopped thinking about it when he realized something. "Wait, what about you, Spy?" Scout asked. "What card do you represent?"

"I do not represent one, Scout," Spy gathered the cards all up again. He started to shuffle them. "For I am zhe one who 'olds all zhe cards."

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A/N: Okay, I don't play cards games. I actually had to Google all the types of cards and get a little bit of info on them. Still don't know what I was really aiming for with that little card one either.

And please don't gripe about the cat. I have a feeling some people won't like her, but she'll be popping up in a few other chapters.

Oh, another thing! I have a brand new, shiny DeviantArt account that I'm posting this story on as well! So if you're on that website as well, look me up. My name's KiwiKestrel on there.