A/N: I'm posting this to let you all know that I am not dead. I am so sorry about not updating in a while. You know how life gets to you; problem is I also have procrastination issues. Plus, I also lost what I wrote so I had to rewrite everything. Hopefully this'll make up for things at least for a while. Even though I have the chapter 5 of Rainbow Saint written down on paper. I have yet to type it down. I've been meaning to post this, but kept on forgetting. So you'll be getting chapter 5 soon hopefully. So in the meantime, please be satisfied with this chapter. Gokdura-Centric. While I'm at it, please vote on my poll for the setting of the sister part of Heir and the Spare: Heir Apparent. I would like currently Mafia School is winning but I want more people to vote on it, before I make my final decision.
Invitation Dilemma
Day Before Tsuna's Birthday
In the empty streets of Namimori, an irate teen with silver hair was walking infuriatingly by himself back to his flat after a day of begging and menial work. His flat couldn't really be considered much of a living space, not by a long shot. In an apartment complex that had definitely seen better days, it was a wonder that it hasn't been condemned by the proper authorities. Then again it was a place where immigrants and those of dubious standards could call shelter, even though the landlord forced them all to pay more than necessary for this crap shoot. Of course, no one would dare to object to the living conditions and pricing considering that it was either this or the streets.
Entering his room, which he didn't bother to lock up, he found his futon and fell on top of it. There was no reason to lock up, aside from the electric stove, the futon, and other miscellaneous objects, the room was practically bare. No bother to even steal from it. Everything he ever needed was carefully and meticulously hidden somewhere on his body. He hated the room, and he hated his life. But, it didn't matter, he just needed to find something to hold on to, even just a thread would be enough. Rolling to his back, he stared at the ceiling.
Sometimes he felt so tired, just wanted to curl up and sleep for a long time, but he knew he couldn't really do that. Life's a bitch, and she will kick you in the balls, if you're not careful, just for the laughs. Hearing his stomach grumble in protest, he realized that he needed to eat soon. Thank god that he was able to eat some of that woman's delicious food.
Food. FOOD!
Aw man, now he remembered, that snack she gave him. Rooting around his pockets, he found that pack of onigiris he was given. Now he didn't have to worry about feeding himself today. Saving his money for more important things, like dynamite ingredients and rent.
Wolfing down of on the savory snack, he couldn't help but feel jealous at that asshole Tsuna. Having a mother who worried about him and cooked him great food. That little shit was worthless, dumb as brick, and weak. It's a wonder that he was even alive. He looked as if the wind could just carry him away and never return. Nana would definitely be sad and lonely.
Sure she had a daughter, but she was away with her father, (divorced, maybe?). He could easily replace that Tsuna brat, hell it would be an improvement. Man, bet he'd have a room to himself with an actual bed. With his skills and good looks, she'd be proud to have a son like him.
Envisioning himself bringing an A+ test score to Nana, who gushed out how proud she was of him. He opened his eyes in shock. Damn it he shouldn't be thinking of stuff like that, he was a mafioso damn it.
He rolled to his side, as he finished the delicious onigiri. He took out his cigarette, lit it, and began to smoke. Inhaling that nicotine sweetness of the cancer stick, feeling the smooth burn, Gokudera couldn't stop thinking about what he had just thought about. He was going to become a bad ass mafioso, he couldn't let family fantasies get to him. Although, now that he remembers Nana had asked him to come to Tsuna's birthday party tomorrow.
He didn't get them at all. Seriously, both looked as if they couldn't survive a well placed punch, and yet they kept on acting as if being around them was the greatest thing ever. Why did she invite him at all?
He wasn't invited to parties, he crashed them.
Besides, what was he going to do in a party like that? They weren't going to offer alcohol or smokes, no dancers, or even a decent form of entertainment, nothing at all that he was accustomed to. But... it was nice to be invited for a change. Sure, crashing a party was fun and all, but he couldn't really deny that he felt nice to be invited. Not that he'd really ever been invited by anyone before. Not when he was living in that house if he wasn't entertaining his father's guest no one wanted him around, nor at school. When he left he was so far down in the mafioso hierarchy that he was basically outside it, no one wanted him in their 'parties' or to be with him at all.
It has always been like that, only him alone with no one to hold in comfort. Few people have truly touched his life, but even they never stayed long enough to be with him, Shamal, Bianchi, and Mother. Aside from them he was always alone. Sure he knew people, you couldn't live without having a few contacts, but they would sooner sell him out than to be around him. It's always been like that nothing he hasn't gotten used to.
Yet, here he was contemplating about whether or not he would go to a silly little birthday party. He had more important things to do, but why couldn't he stop thinking about it? They obviously didn't ask him to come because they wanted him to, right that's what happened. The only reason he was invited was because Tsuna most likely didn't have any friends, so they needed him to help fill the party. That's why they invited him they only needed him for something, they didn't want him. That's why he won't go.
After all he already has work to do tomorrow. Even if he wanted to go he couldn't, he had important work to do for the Tsuribari. If he succeeds he would be able to get at least a foothold towards everything he's worked for. Now that was better than going to itsy bitsy birthday party.
Well, maybe he'll have some time to go if he could wrap it up fast enough tomorrow. He won't need to bring a gift. Just bringing himself to it would be gift enough.
A/N 2: Sorry that I haven't posted anything. When I wrote this chapter it was just going to be about Gokudera just finding pros and cons of going to the party, but then I had to describe a little about his current living situation, which will be discussed on the main story later on. I also wanted to deal with his conflicting thoughts of Tsuna, and Nana. I'm pretty sure that Gokudera was a kind of lone wolf in the Mafia world. Which means that he has no way in dealing in normal situations and that adults confuse him in many ways. Especially, motherly adult females, considering his issues with his parents and the circumstances of his mother's death Nana will in the most part become a major weakness for Gokudera and his frayed emotions. Plus, if you think about it, in many stories and in the canon Tsuna and Nana are both kind of way to kind and forgiving, seriously one should question their survival instincts. I ended it kind of ambiguous mostly, its better that way. Help you anticipate for the next Chapter of Rainbow Saint. So thank you for your patience, I hope that you read and review this chapter. Plus, I hope that more people would follow and favorite this. While I'm at it, please vote on my poll for the setting of the sister part of Heir and the Spare: Heir Apparent. I would like currently Mafia School is winning but I want more people to vote on it, before I make my final decision.
