notes I totally forgot I wrote this. Oops. Ah, well, I'll post it anyway on this site. Also, I kind of want to write a story on how Rich becomes a super villian, because of too-good brother, Dirk. Like Loki and Thor.
prompt Annie starts dating a superhero and Jeff reaches new levels of jealousy.
The Adventures of Dirk Denver
"…and last week at dusk he flew across the Denver skyline looking for homeless people to give scarves to. I mean, ladies, he knitted all the scarves himself! And then just yesterday there were these kitties stuck up in a—"
"Annie!" Jeff said slamming his fist on the study room table. "Enough about the Incredible Dick Denver!"
"It's Dirk Denver and I wasn't even aware you were listening!" Annie protested.
Jeff rolled his eyes and tried to wrangle in his crazy. "How could we not? You've been prattling on about him for a month now."
"In her defense Jeff, Dirk Denver is all kinds of awesome and usually I don't even like classic All-American boys," Britta grinned, "there's just something about that…"
"…plush bottom stuffed in spandex," finished Shirley giggling. She patted Annie's hand. "You are one lucky lady to be getting that action figure to play with!"
Annie glowed in her seat and glanced over at Jeff who was discretely gripping the sides of his chair so hard his knuckles were white. He managed to say, "He's has a tree trunk neck and clown feet."
"Perfect leading man portions," Abed notes.
"He's an actor playing a superhero on a public access children's program."
Troy's said, "Dude, Dirk Denver's got over a million Twitter followers and a new daily column in The Denver Post. He's practically Superman these days."
"Newspapers are a dying business, and he's not Superman (you traitor); he's Rich's brother!" Jeff growled leaping up. His friends just shook their heads and ignored him.
Abed whispered, "Your kryptonite is showing."
•
"Jeff?"
"No."
"Jeff."
"No."
"Jeff!"
He made the mistake he always knew he was going to make. Looking two feet down, he saw her glittering eyeballs doing their voodoo magic and Jeff groaned, hooked like a fish on a line. "What?"
•
Dressed in tight blue spandex was never on Jeff's bucket list, well, not in this context. He cowered in a dressing room labeled Dirk Denver and glared at all the fanmail, mostly from children and (probably insane) women, tacked onto the back of the door. He didn't know what possessed him to even agree to Annie's harebrained scheme. The idea that Jeff Winger was supposed to moonlight as "Greendale Guy" for a segment on Annie's boyfriend's show was now looking completely idiotic.
Seriously, he wasn't even sure how she got him to the studio. The details were lost in the hazy memory of Annie's strawberry shampoo, her low-cut blouse, a really funny story about Troy losing his toothbrush to their toilet, and a bundle of ego-stroking compliments on how great Jeff's biceps were going to look in Greendale Guy's suit (and, duh-doy, of course they did).
There was a tentative knock on the door and Annie slipped in.
"You don't have to go out. I know you don't want to."
"You think?"
She looked at him through the dark fringe of her eyelashes, though the glance wasn't loaded with anything more than understanding. Nodding, she said, "Dirk said Rich'll take over for you."
He thought this over, feeling that weird prickle of jealousy overtake him, like an itch at the base of his spine that he can't quite reach. "No, I'll do it."
Annie's lips curved upwards. "My hero."
Damn right.
•
