Reflection in the Mirror

Chapter 3

Wish


I apologize for the wait but school's been hard on me...now that I'm not break I should be able to transfer more from paper onto fanfiction, but no promises. I'm also working on another more popular story called Dying Embers...that gets priority right now. Still here's the next chapter enjoy and review, maybe you'll motivate me to update this one early!


When mom closed her eyes and let go of my hand, from that point, I felt the bluebird in my life had flown away forever,
Never to return...

But...When I grasped Al's warm hand again, and saw his gentle smile once more, I suddenly felt I was within the blue skies, and saw a glimpse of the bluebird...

I have nothing more I can hope for...I just wish...I just wish we can always be like this --wishing all this will never disappear...I only wish that bluebird...

...won't be just another unattainable illusion.

In order to gain something, one must give something of the same value. This is alchemy's first law of equivalent exchange. At that time, we believed that to be the world's one and only truth.

If one does not make a sacrifice, nothing can be accomplished....

"Are you okay?" whispered the figure in the doorway. All he needed was the shadow to identify her the curves were enough. Pride frowned and didn't answer Lust, wondering what she could possibly want in here. Her hand fell from the doorway as she stepped into the room frowning. "I heard you got quite the scare the other night."

"You could say that," replied Pride carefully pushing the files behind his back and out of sight.

Lust laughed bitterly at his action. "You don't have to hide that from me...I can't blame you," she said quietly, her eyes softening. "I was the same."

"Wh-what are you talking about?" asked Pride his golden optics wide with confusion. What was going on with her? Her purple orbs had always stared at him with indifference before now so where was this warm comfort coming from.

"I wondered how long it'd take you," she said quietly as she walked forward, running her finger along the files. Eventually she stopped and pulled one out of one of the cabinets. "After awhile I started to think they'd made you unable to change."

She sat down on the table where his documents had been lying and started flipping through her own. "We all started out emotionless, mindless puppets but usually within the first few years something would set us off. Emotion would return and then so would the memories. Looks like you just needed a little extra push. Envy's in big trouble for that you know."

Pride stared at her skeptically. "What do you mean?"

"The little stunt with turning into Fullmetal. It returned emotion to your body and Father's furious at Envy for causing it," explained Lust without looking up. "He doesn't want you to remember and he had thought he'd finally found a way to make the perfect homunculus."

"There's nothing to remember," said Pride suddenly.

"Really? Do you honestly think you were always like this. That you were born nineteen without any memory?" question Lust finally looking up at him. "I was worried that Father had found a way to banish our emotions and that I'd end up like you used to be. Thankfully it seems he failed."

Pride's hand tightened into a fist. "Are you saying I don't really exist?" he hissed as his fist met the table. Alchemy cracked in the air around him as the room temperature rose.

Lust smiled at him sadly. "None of us do. Neither human nor animal...neither living or dead...that is what we are. We start out mindless puppets until our old selves being to merge with the new creating personality and both beings become one."

"I am Pride...me no one else and that's all I'll always be," replied Pride as he pocketed a few papers from the files into his jacket.

He turned and stalked toward the door, not sparing Lust a second glance. Just before the door slid shut behind him her whispered words reached his ears. They echoed through him, causing a chill to run through his body. "How can you deny it when you're already sounding like Fullmetal?"


You're wasting your time

Pride pushed the thought back as he passed the black iron fence that surrounded the cemetery. Snow still covered the ground, giving the graveyard an even eerier aura. It was all sadly pretty, the dead trees and the tombstones all buried beneath the snow. If there was one benefit it was the fact that it made spotting a black marble tombstone even easier, not that he had to look hard.

As soon as he saw the grave he darted behind a pale stone mausoleum. There were five people standing around the grave, three of which he recognized instantly. "Well aren't you popular," he whispered to the voice inside his head. He stared at them curiously as he tried to ignore the urge to rush over to them. Even from a distance he could tell being around them accomplished nothing but giving the voice strength, which was the last thing he needed.

I have a name you know...and it's not 'the voice'

"If I give you a name then I'm acknowledging you're real."

You're talking to me aren't you. You brought us here to prove to me I was dead. Looks like to me you already know I'm real.

"Shu-" he cut off his hiss as his eyes caught movement at the grave.

"Ow!" squealed one of the two he didn't know. It was a little boy, one who looked kinda like...

"Emma!" scolded Winry. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Sorry mom," replied the girl, not looking sorry at all. She was withdrawing a wrench from her brother's head. "He threatened to burn me!"

"Edward!" hissed Winry, her eyes narrowing dangerously.

Shock that was not his own radiated through Pride's body at those words. He felt strangely touched and a bit amused behind the initial shock, but quickly shook it off. It wasn't like he cared...right?

Ed shook his head rapidly. "I was just teasing," he announced, fiddling with the large gloves on his hands.

"Edward give the General his gloves back," said Al quietly.

The boy froze at his father's tone. He gave the man one long, searching glance before pulling the gloves back and thanking Mustang quietly. Sorrow and guilt ripped through Pride's body as he forced himself not to act on instinct. His entire being wanted to rush out there and comfort Alphonse, but he couldn't do that.

When he turned back to the group Mustang was staring at the boy. It was obvious he was trying not to, but he never seemed to be able to keep his eyes off of Ed. The kid did look freakishly like him...if he cut off most his hair. He ran his fingers subconsciously through the golden locks at fell down to his mid-back, suddenly bothered by them. They were in the way maybe if he put it up, "Stop it!"

I didn't do anything... Funny how a voice in your head could sound so devious. Pride frowned as Alphonse reached out to lay a hand on the tombstone. Winry reached out and wrapped her arms around his waist and started whispering things Pride couldn't hear to him. Whatever she had said it made him turn away from the grave and wrap his arms around her, holding her close.

Once again Pride fought off the protective instinct that rose up inside of him. Mustang shot one glance at the couple before turning to the children. "C'mon let's go I want to see your alchemy again Ed. You can use my gloves. And Emma why don't we find you something to fix?"

At the mention of alchemy and machines the children's eyes lit up and they scurried off after the General excitedly. As soon as they were gone Alphonse's strained voice drifted across the cemetery. "I don't know what to do Win."

She hugged him tighter. "What's wrong...maybe I can help."

"No one can," whispered Al, burying his head into her neck. The wind was the only sound of ages until Alphonse looked up again. "They found him."

"What do you mean?"

"Mustang said they found Ed's body but..."

"But what?"

Al just shook his head wordlessly and buried himself into his wife's embrace. Pride wasn't sure how long it was until they left, but the entire time guilt and sorrow racked through his body, demanding that he jump up and comfort the pain Al was experiencing. He knew that wouldn't help, considering he was the one causing the man the pain.

As soon as they left he made his way up to the grave. He got down on his knees, ignoring the cold, and wiped the snow away from what was engraved. "See," he whispered, fingering the letters. "You're dead."

It's an empty grave

The voice was lacking it's usual cocky tone and sounded barren and defeated...as if the scene before had truly put it in perspective. "With your name on it."

The response contained a spark of the old personality. I thought I didn't have a name

"You can't have it both ways," whispered Pride.

No...if I could life would be so much simpler


That night he couldn't escape the thoughts of the family. Even when the voice was silent his thoughts always seemed to drift back to the family of four and the General that accompanied them. Along with the thoughts came the strangest stab of jealousy. It was so powerful it almost overwhelmed him and made him hate Fullmetal. Why could he have all that? Why did people care about Elric and why couldn't Pride share a bond like that? Did Pride have anyone to claim his own? What made the brat good enough to have what he could not? Why was he bothered by the fact that he was denied such things?

It was infuriating. It shouldn't matter, he shouldn't care...but he did. He was worried about that. More and more unanwsered questions kept popping up. Who was he? Where did Ed come into the equation? And the voice in his head...? Was it his body or Ed'? And more importantly if it had belonged to someone else first did that make him real? Then came the one that bothered him the most.

Did they hate him? If he truly had been Ed did that mean that they loved him? Or did it mean they hate him for stealing someone precious from them? They very thought bothered him and that fact disturbed him. He vainly attempted to tell himself. 'I don't care!'

Somehow he found himself outside the military headquarters gates. He stood there, staring into the familiar building, thinking things through. This was beyond stupid if he got caught he'd be shot if he was lucky. Not that it matter...it wasn't like he could die anyway.

With that thought in mind he made his way in. He broke the lock on the gate using alchemy and quickly slipped in. It was late and he didn't really expect to find anyone there so he let his thoughts wander as he strolled through the building. He wasn't quite sure why he was here, his feet had led him here and even now he wasn't controlling them. They led him with ease to the door outside Mustang's office.

By that time he'd figured out that his little voice had taken control of his legs. He didn't mind it wasn't like the General was here right? He opened the door and walked in, only to freeze. The lights in the main office were on and he could feel waves of alchemy flickering from behind them. He recognized them without hesitation. Mustang, Alphonse, and then a third aura that his voice identified as Armstrong.

He turned quickly to leave before two weaker auras hit him. He turned to spot to small bodies curled up on the couch. It was the children from earlier...possibly his kin. Without thinking he made his way forward to move Emma's pale hair out of her face. Just before he touched the soft hair a soft hiss came from Ed, "Hands off my sister!" Pride's head jerked over to meet the boy's golden gaze. His own identical optics started back at the protective sibling.

"I wasn't going to hurt her," he said quietly. His eyes never left the boys and he was sincere with his answer.

The boy seemed to believe him because after a brief silence he spoke up. "Who are you?" he asked, his guard still up.

Pride frowned at the question, unsure of how to answer, finally he settled on the truth. "I don't know."

The boy sat up, confused. "How can you not know who you are?"

Sadness lit the homunculus's eyes. "I don't know."

"Why are you here."

"I really don't know that either."

"Is there anything you do know?" asked Ed sounding annoyed.

"No really," he said sadly. He smiled as the boy stared at him speechless. "What about you?"

"What about me?" asked Ed as the stranger sat beside him.

"Tell me about yourself."

He didn't need to be asked twice. He launched instantly into speech, "I'm Edward Elric, but you can call me Ed. That there's Emma and she's really annoying. But don't tell her I said that or she'll hit me with a wrench again. You won't tell her will you?"

Pride chuckled at the worry on the child's face. "I promise my lips are sealed."

The boy still didn't relax. "Don't tell Mom either...she's a lot like Emma that way."

"I can imagine," laughed Pride. "Don't worry you're secret is safe with me."

The boy relaxed and grinned up him. "Thanks!"

"So tell me about your parents," said Pride as he stared distantly up at the ceiling.

"Daddy's real nice and loves us a lot," said the quiet voice. Emma sat up and stared at the stranger with trusting eyes. "He's sad a lot, but he always tries to act happy. We're not fooled though right Ed?"

"No," whispered the boy, looking away. "But he's getting better now. At least I think he is."

"Why is he sad?" asked Pride quietly.

"His brother died," said Emma with a frown. Then suddenly she brightened up. "They named Ed after him!"

"That's cool," grinned Pride, trying to keep his tone light.

"Not really," said Ed. "Now I've got a reputation to live up to."

"What do you mean?" asked Pride, confused.

At the question Emma sat up proudly. "Our uncle was one of the greatest alchemists of all time. He was the one and only Fullmetal Alchemist!"

Pride opened his mouth to speak but Ed beat him to it. "I'll be better!"

A grin formed on Pride's face. "I dunno I hear Fullmetal was pretty tough!"

"I'll be tougher! Besides I've got all four of my limbs!"

"What's wrong with auto-mail!?" demanded Emma.

Pride sat there, talking with the children until they inevitably they fell asleep...on top of him. He stared at the two as they rested their heads against either side of them. They were so sweet and innocent...so trusting. A warm glow rose up from inside of him as he realized this was what it felt like to belong. This is what he wanted and what he could rarely have.

But he didn't know that. A that moment he totally forgot everything. The time...the people in the other room, the voice inside his head, the homunculi that were probably searching for him...all of that was gone. He was so content and happy that he wished he could stay like this forever.

But since when had wishing ever accomplished anything?

The door to the main office opened and several pairs of horrified and shocked eyes locked on him and the children. Then there was the annoyingly sarcastic voice that rang through his head.

Well this is going to end well


Thanks for reading. Let me know what you think XD