Chapter 3:
Jane sighs, rolling her eyes skyward and shaking her head.
Darcy has been talking incessantly in her ear for the past fifteen minutes, and she isn't sure she can take much more.
"Darc!" Jane finally snaps, glaring at her friend.
Darcy stops, staring wide eyed back at the other girl.
Again, Jane sighs.
"Look, I don't know why you're insisting on this. He's not even going to talk to you. Believe me. Thor's brother isn't the type. More likely he'll sneer at you and call you some ridiculously insulting name and then take off. That's what he does. I know."
Darcy shrugs, seeming unfazed by the warning.
"I just wanna try. Maybe if he sees I'm not trying to make fun of him…"
"Uh huh," Jane answers skeptically. "Listen Darcy, if Loki doesn't take your head off, Thor just might. I told you how he is about Loki. He'll think your planning something or… I don't know."
"Why?" Darcy asks, confused.
"Because… just…" Jane growls in frustration, trying to explain. She seems hesitant, like she isn't sure what she should and shouldn't reveal.
Finally, she exhales, and starts in a low voice.
"Listen, from what he's told me, Loki apparently used to get bullied in a really bad way, back when they still lived in England. Supposedly some really bad stuff went down. Thor hasn't shared any details, but he said it involved a bunch of other students, and Loki had to be pulled out of school for an entire year, and that's when all that stuff with, you know…" she motions across her wrists, "started. And, look, just don't tell him I told you any of this. It's private and he doesn't like it getting around. The only reason I'm telling you is because Loki's damaged goods, if you know what I mean, and I don't know what's going on with him."
Darcy's face is screwed up in contemplation, her eyes seeming distant as she absorbs everything Jane's just said.
Her mind runs rampant with thoughts of what it could all mean. She's had her fair share of bullying in her own life, and she knows what it's like to be made to feel like an outcast.
Though it never got so extreme she had to be taken out of school.
She isn't even sure if she wants to know what could have happened that was bad enough to cause such a thing.
She knows Jane is trying to scare her off getting involved with Loki, but if anything, it only makes her more determined to befriend the kid.
She just feels bad for him. And if Darcy knows anything about abrasive attitudes, it's that they're usually nothing more than a defense mechanism, and from everything she's hearing, it sounds like Loki's got more reason than most to be defensive.
Her thoughts are disrupted when she hears Jane say,
"There they are." And she looks up, seeing Thor pulling into the parking lot in his pickup.
She and Jane had been waiting in his usual parking spot for the last half hour. Jane usually waits for him in the mornings so they can walk to class together, sharing their first period and all. Darcy doesn't ever bother, usually waiting as long as she can before leaving home in the mornings.
She is definitely not a morning person. But she called Jane last night and told her she wanted to meet up with her in the parking lot the next day because she wanted to talk to Loki again.
Jane had tried her best to discourage her, but Darcy wasn't hearing it, and so here they were.
Darcy feels a kind of nervous anticipation as they watch Thor's truck come around and draw closer.
She hopes Loki doesn't have a problem with this. And if he does, she's just going to have to try harder. She's sure once Thor sees she's sincere in her efforts, he'll be okay with it. If he's as protective of his brother as Jane says, he can't be averse to Loki having friends.
Her nervousness dissipates to confusion as Thor pulls up, and they see the passenger side of the cab empty.
No Loki.
"Shit." Jane breaths quietly as Thor parks, and Darcy glances over at her, unsure.
"What?" She asks, just as Thor opens the door and steps out.
He looks unhappy, to say the least.
No, more like upset, Darcy would say.
And then Jane blurts out, unthinking,
"Where's Loki?"
And Thor's expression sours further, lips pulling into a frown, brow creasing heavy as though in pain.
He glances at Darcy a moment, eyes searching, before he turns back to Jane, and grabs hold of her arm gently, guiding her away.
Darcy watches after them, trying to catch what's being said as he begins speaking lowly to Jane.
"What's she doing here?" He asks, cocking his head in Darcy's direction.
Jane glances back at her friend briefly before turning back to Thor, shaking her head.
"She's got it into her head that she wants to be your brother's friend." She answers, exasperated. "Thor, what's going on? Is Loki okay?"
Thor continues staring over at Darcy suspiciously a long moment before, finally, he turns back to Jane and, slowly, he shakes his head no.
"Why?" She asks, suddenly urgent. "What happened?"
Thor's eyes flit to the ground, and for a long moment, he says nothing, Jane waiting with sickened anxiety.
"… There was a scene this morning." He begins warily. "Our parents called Loki's doctor, because of some stuff he said last night. He came over, Loki freaked out…" he trails off, glancing away, down the road.
Jane sees him swallow thickly, and without thinking, she reaches forward, grasping onto his arm softly, squeezing in reassurance.
Thor shakes his head.
"They took him to the hospital Jane." Thor says, looking back to her. His voice is strained, like he's holding back tears.
Jane frowns up at him.
"He didn't want to go, and…" again, he shakes his head. "It's all my fault Jane. I told my parents what he said last night. It's just, I was worried. I thought… I'm scared he might… that he might try…"
Again, he voice fades, and he isn't able to finish.
Jane rubs his arm soothingly.
"You did the right thing Thor." She tries to reassure. "It's okay. You did the right thing."
"But, if you'd seen him this morning..." Thor glances at her briefly before once more looking away. "He was so angry, screaming at all of us, and crying. He accused me of betraying him and said… said I didn't care about him."
"Thor," Jane answers. "you know that isn't true. You love your brother. Everyone knows that."
"But does he?" Thor asks, desperate.
He lifts a giant hand, wiping at his eyes.
"And then he just got all quiet, you know. The way that he does. And he didn't say anything, just let Dr. Banner take him away. I'm just so scared Jane. I'm so worried about him."
"I know." Jane says, voice soft. "I know Thor."
"What if he tries killing himself again?" Thor asks, voice shaking. "I can't handle this."
"He won't." Jane tries to reassure.
"What's going on?" Darcy finally speaks up, stepping towards the two.
Thor glares at her before turning away angrily, folding his arms over his broad chest and going silent.
"Nothing." Jane tries to intercede, turning towards her friend and putting her hands up.
"Did something happen to Loki?" Darcy ignores her, looking at Thor.
"It's nothing Darcy, just some trouble at home." Again, Jane tries, but Darcy pushes past her and steps around Thor, looking up at his 6'4" frame, apparently unintimidated.
"Where's your brother?" She asks bluntly.
"It's none of your concern." Thor shoots back, clearly displeased.
"Darcy," Jane begins, trying to pull her away.
"No, I want to know!" Darcy shrugs her off. "Is he okay?"
And finally, Thor snaps.
"No!" He nearly shouts, and Darcy can't help but jump at his booming voice. "He isn't! He's not okay. He's sick, alright?! And it's people like you who've made him that way! People that just don't know when to quit! People who think it's okay to fuck with him and don't see how much they're really hurting him! People who think it's cool to pretend to be his friend only to shit all over him later and make him look like a fool! You'll leave my brother alone! Just stay out of his life! Alright?! He doesn't need any more assholes like you making it harder for him than it already is!"
Without another word, Thor brushes past her and Jane, throwing the door to his truck back open and climbing in, starting the engine a moment later and taking off, the wheels screeching against the pavement as he speeds round the corner and out of sight.
The two girls stand there a long moment, unmoving, stunned.
Before at last, Jane whirls on Darcy.
"God damn it!" She growls. "I TOLD you Darcy. Fuck! Why couldn't you have just kept out of it?"
Darcy stares, taken aback by Jane's sudden outburst.
Jane grips the sides of her head, fingers curling into her hair.
"FUCK!" She shouts, squeezing her eyes shut. "He's probably never gonna wanna see me again!"
"Jane," Darcy starts, but Jane cuts her off.
"I told you his brother has problems Darc, but you didn't listen!" She says. "He's in a fucking mental hospital right now. Okay? You wanted to know what's going on with him? That's it! He's a fucking psycho! You wanna be friends with that? Be my guest. But if Thor breaks up with me over this shit, I'm… I…"
She growls again and turns towards the school, beginning to stalk off.
"Just don't talk to me right now!" She shouts back over her shoulder.
Darcy can only watch her disappear into the school, leaving her alone outside.
How the hell did everything fall apart so quickly?
/
Thor sits outside the hospital in his truck, hands gripping the steering wheel, forehead leaned against his knuckles, eyes closed.
He knows he should be in school right now. That his parents told him to just go, that it would help him keep his mind off Loki.
But he can't.
He just can't.
All he can think about is Loki. All he can keep seeing is the pained look in his brother's eyes before he went with Dr. Banner that morning, how quiet he'd gone after everything.
How Loki wouldn't look at him then.
He knows Loki's probably barely gotten through processing, and he doesn't even know if they'll allow him any visitors this early in the morning.
Of if Loki will even want to see him.
But he has to try.
He just can't bear the thought of Loki all alone in that awful place, again.
It's been so many times already.
He breaths out through his nose, lifting his face finally and glancing out across the lot towards the front of the building.
It seems so… plain.
So innocuous.
Thor used to think of mental institutes as something out of a horror film, where psychotic serial killers were put; people too dangerous to live in society. Dark halls and flickering lights and ceaseless screaming.
He's been in enough of them now to know they're nothing like that.
And, more often than not, the people inside are being protected from themselves more than society from them.
Like with Loki…
Like with his little brother.
The only person Loki's ever hurt has been himself.
And he's only like that because…
Because everyone else seems to hurt him all the time too.
Thor realizes he's gripping the steering wheel hard enough to make his knuckles go white, and abruptly he lets it go, steadying himself, before at last he reaches for the door handle and gets out of the truck.
Begins making his way across the lot.
He has to at least try.
/
"How long do they think this time?"
Loki isn't looking at him.
He's slumped in the chair opposite, fidgeting absently with his hands, already dressed in their standard issue hospital scrubs.
Thor's eyes fall across his too thin arms. Pale and skinny.
There's a bandage over the crook of his left elbow, where they gave him a sedative, even though he's been told Loki hadn't caused any commotion. It's just a precaution, they say, something they do with all their patients to keep them relaxed.
Thor doesn't quite believe it.
He hates what the drugs do to his brother. His normally sharp, bright eyes dulled and half-lidded. Precise and agile movements made sluggish and tired.
And his voice…
Loki has a tongue of silver usually, articulate and fast and cutting.
Now he speaks slowly and half-unsure sounding, like he can't quite form his thoughts into words.
Eyes moving over his forearms, Thor sees the faded remnants of long healed scars, standing out pinkish and raised against snow white skin. Smaller cuts Loki has inflicted onto himself.
At his wrists, the scars are more pronounced and thicker, doubled over from multiple attempts. Ugly. Marring the otherwise delicate bend and blue veins running through the joints.
Loki's fingers are a little bit dirty, dirt caked underneath the nails, knuckles raw and bruised from hitting something.
Loki punches walls, Thor knows. He gets so angry sometimes.
Loki shrugs, thin shoulders barely rising, his pronounced collarbone showing just above the low cut collar of his singlet.
"Dr. Banner says a week…" he answers, voice soft. "For observation."
Thor stares back at him a moment, saying nothing, before finally his gaze drops away.
"… I'm sorry Loki."
"Don't."
Thor looks up at him, and Loki's still glancing away.
He shakes his head.
"Just don't." He repeats.
"I just want you to be okay." Thor tries once more.
And then the temper flares.
Loki slams his palms against the table, the sound loud and echoing through the room.
Thor flinches, and glances around nervously, seeing the various nurses looking concerned in their direction.
"Loki, don't…" Thor whispers harshly to him, trying urgently to calm him.
"Then don't patronize me Thor." Loki at last raises his eyes, vibrant green boring into him, smoldering anger barely kept in check.
Thor frowns.
"… I wasn't trying to." He mutters after a moment.
And the coiled tension which had been building in his little brothers frame seems at once to dissipate, and he slumps down again, head bowing, hair falling into his face.
His hands slide off the table and into his lap, and he goes silent.
Awkward silence stretches for several minutes, Thor struggling to figure out what to say.
He never knows how Loki is going to react to anything. He's become so volatile in recent years.
"… A weeks not so bad." He finally says, stiffly and anxious.
Loki scoffs, turning his head aside and gazing intently at some indistinct spot across the room.
"Easy to say when you're not the one in here." He says bitterly, and Thor feels his heart sink.
"I didn't think…" he starts to say, and Loki turns to him sharply.
"Don't lie to me Thor." He cuts his older brother off with a hiss. "You're no good at it."
Again he looks away, saying more softly…
"You knew exactly what would happen if you told Mom and Dad."
And Thor can't deny that.
He did know.
It's why he told them in the first place.
He's just so scared for Loki.
Another, long few seconds of silence, and Thor tries a different tact.
"Mom'll be by later in the day." He says.
"Great." Loki returns flatly.
And suddenly he's shaking his head.
"I can't afford to miss my assignments." He complains. "I've already lost credits for the three weeks from before."
Thor latches onto that.
"I can pick up your homework from your classes and bring it to you here." He offers.
Loki glances briefly at him, before looking away once more and shrugging.
"… Okay." He says after a moment, barely audible.
Thor feels some relief over it.
"Anything you need brother, you just ask." He says.
And he dares to reach out, placing a giant hand over Loki's much smaller one, grasping his fingers gently round the fragile wrist.
He half expects Loki to jerk away.
But he does nothing. Just sits in silence.
His skin is too cold.
"Okay?" Thor asks.
And Loki nods.
"… Okay."
/
AN: Hey, a huge thank you again to everyone who read and reviewed and faved, etc… Your support is hugely appreciated, and I'm happy to know you're enjoying the story. Hope you liked this chapter, and let me know what you think!
