Inspired by Thomas Kinsella's "Model School in Inchicore". I think. I don't have my book anymore, but I wrote down the quote "I am going to know everything," and it just fit. So have some Kid!lock.


It's my first day of primary school. The beginning of my quest to adulthood. Mummy said I was born for learning, because I already know how to read and write and count. I know the different types of birds in the garden, the geography of Britain, and the history of chocolate. Mummy promises that school will help me learn all sorts of other things.

But she said I also have to make friends.

Father knows I'm socially inept. He doesn't ask much of me around other people; he knows I don't like company. Mummy though, she thinks I just need to experience boys my own age. Now, I might be wrong, (although the chances of that are slim to none) but I thought intelligence got better with age. Like wine. If Mycroft is anything to go by then boys my own age will be the human equivalent of slugs to futuristic aliens.

Mycroft is incredibly stupid.

I think slugs are fascinating. They leave behind this rainbow slime, and they can creep up walls and can be disgusting wherever they want. I've done some experiments; they're wonderful to watch.

So... Maybe I could use school to my advantage in that way. Experimentation. I'll do my study, and be a good student, but instead of making friends, I will learn to understand my classmates.

Plan set.

It's my first day of primary school, and I am going to know everything.