Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

English


"Last call for Flight 465 leaving Ouran International Airport and arriving at JFK International Airport has closed it doors. If you missed this flight, you're outta luck." I said to my oh so cool and not so American friend.

Whom I'm sharing a seat with Fred.

"How in the world did you miss your flight? We put you on the plane ourselves!" whispered my bitch.

"Well you see, I realized, that I didn't go through Customs! And going through Customs is a very important thing for us Americans. See, I just want to one up one of my oh so radical and acein' friend who is beating me. I can not allow this friend beat me." I explained to him as it explained everything.

And it did.

"That does not help us." Said the sharing duo.

"Yeah it does. I mean, what else do English wanna-bes collect besides, mailing stamps, beer bottles, shot glasses and Jesus toast?"

"Goggles."

"Money from other countries."

"Clothes."

"No no no no! We collect stamps! I wanted a stamp in my passport! It's totally crucial to my teenage female psyche."

"You missed your flight home, for some ink on dead trees?" asked the Alien.

"Yes, and Fred told me that I signed a three year kidnapping contract. I have two years left in the contract, or else the walruses would eat me. I do not want to be eaten by walruses."

"Fred?" asked Hunny.

"Yes, Fred. Evil Sensei, Talking Forest, Energizer Bunny, Mirages, RuPaul, and Martian. Fred. Fred. This is Moe Dude, Twincest, World Leader, Marvin the Martian, Samurai Dude, and My Bitch." I said, pointing everyone to my new friend.

Fred the Box.