I was five years old the first time I came running home to my mum crying. I ran right into her arms and she just held me there, soothing my shaking little body and gently combing her fingers through my wild mess of hair. And when the tears finally subsided, she held me at arm's length so she could look me right in the eyes and read my very soul. Yes, my mum could always read me like an open book. I used to amuse myself into believing it was because she had read so many books and therefore gained the experience. But whenever she looked at me like that, I knew it was time to spill. And with a soft voice and downcast eyes, spill I did.

"They called me ugly."

When you're five years old, everything bad in the world is ugly. The fairy tale stepmother and stepsisters, the wicked witches, the monsters hiding underneath your bed. So that when you're called ugly by your fellow schoolmates, your whole world shatters. You start to believe that maybe you are bad. Maybe there is something wrong with you.

This was the first time I ran home crying. But it wasn't the last. And despite all my mother's absolute dissent, I lived the following years of my life under the knowledge that I was, indeed, ugly.


"And then you wouldn't believe what that hag said next," exclaimed Ginny, her ears turning the same shade as her hair.

"Well I have a feeling you're going to tell me," said Hermione, who for the past half hour had been listening to Ginny rant on about a certain "slimy pink toad" who happened to be their Defense Against the Dark Arts professor.

"That thing had the nerve to tell me that my dad held enough of a discreditable position at the Ministry without his children running around Hogwarts spreading lies. As if we're posting up bulletins or something. Which actually would not be a bad idea," she added thoughtfully. "But anyways, can you believe that? I mean all this because I said I believed Harry."

"That really is quite outrageous. I mean to bring up a matter like that in class is completely unprofessional to begin with. But to go so far as to call your dad's job 'discreditable' is just plain rude. Not to mention it's clear she's not exactly in love with muggles, or muggleborns for that matter," Hermione added.

"It's just so mad here this year. I mean I suppose it's mad everywhere but I feel like Hogwarts has always been able to block out the outside world, you know?" Ginny said as she stopped her pacing to gaze out the window.

"I know… I just can't believe he's back," Hermione whispered.

It was only the first week of school, but as they sat in the 5th year girls dormitory enveloped in their own personal thoughts, it was clear to both girls that after the events of last June, life would never be completely the same again.

Upon returning to Hogwarts, Hermione was not surprised to find many distasteful looks being thrown toward Harry. She had maintained small hope that perhaps more people would recognize the blatant truth, but apparently logic was not a strong suit for many Hogwarts students. Of course she could have surmised this years ago when half the school believed Harry to be the heir of Slytherin. She had to mentally roll her eyes at this thought as she joined the Gryffindor table that morning.

"Good morning," announced Hermione to a sleepy Harry and what looked like a dead Ron.

She received a "morning" from Harry and what sounded like a grunt from Ron in return.

"Well we seem ready to take on the world today, don't we?" stated Hermione dryly. "You know you two had better shape up because OWLs are just around the corner. And from what I've heard, OWL year changes a person. You're never completely the same again, you start to …see things differently," Hermione added with a misty look in her eyes.

"Are we talking about OWLs or hard core drugs?" Harry stated.

"What are hard core drugs?" inquired Ron with interest.

"Never you mind!" Hermione retorted with an affronted look towards Harry.

"Me and your mum will tell you when you're older, Ron," Harry affirmed, gaining a smack on the arm from Hermione.

"Anyways," Hermione muttered through clenched teeth, "I'm going to start creating my weekly study schedule. I can't believe I haven't already but I've just been so caught up with everything else. Would either of you like me to create one for you as well?" Hermione questioned Harry and Ron, who unbeknownst to her were participating in a heavy round of eye-rolling.

"Yeah sure, sounds great!"

"You always do it best, 'Mione!"

"Don't call me that, Ronald," Hermione scowled, "how many times do I have to tell you that I will not, nor ever will be 'your knee.'"

She turned towards Harry who was chuckling into his porridge, and cast him a disappointed look.

"Sorry, " Harry coughed, clearing his throat, "not funny."

"No, it's not that," Hermione said, "a thought just occurred to me. Well it didn't just occur to me. I've thought about before. A lot actually-"

"Well just owl me when you're ready to tell us," Ron remarked, "I'll have graduated by then and moved on to bigger and better things."

Hermione glared at him before answering, "Well with Umbridge as our professor this year, we're going to have to teach ourselves all the material for the DADA practical. I mean it's true we've had our fair share of useless Defense professors, but I think we've reached an all time low on this one."

"I think we've reached an all time low on this one in more ways than you're letting on Hermione," Harry replied darkly.

"True," Hermione agreed solemnly, "how are we supposed to learn how to defend ourselves out there? This isn't just about school anymore, is it."

The three sat in silence for a moment with Hermione's face screwed up in intense concentration that could only be the result of her solving a very difficult problem. Both boys knew this look well and therefore chose to continue their breakfast in silence and let Hermione be.

Suddenly, however, there a was an undeniable gleam in her eyes.

Hermione looked over to Harry for the briefest of moments before making her declaration.

"I've got to go to the library."


A/N: Hi to whoever wonderful person is reading this. I figured I should mention that this story is going to be slightly AU. But only very slightly. And not so much in the earlier chapters. That's all I have to say for now on that subject. Pleasepleasepleaseplease leave me some feedback. Anything. Please I'm on my knees here. It would really motivate me to continue this story because right now I'm not positive I will so yeah please! Thanks!