A/N: Sorry it has taken so long to update. This story was actually supposed to be a oneshot and along with RL getting in the way, my muse took a vacation. So, here is chapter 3, and I hope it's a little better than chapter 2 and half as good as chapter 1.
Lisa Cuddy knocked lightly on James Wilson's office door and waited for permission to enter. When she pushed open the door, she greeted him with an exasperated sigh and cut straight to the point. "Why does House insist on sabotaging my personal life?"
"Because he's House?" The look he received in response was all Wilson needed to throw up his hands in surrender. "I honestly don't know for sure. Why does he sabotage my relationships or potential relationships? Romantic and otherwise."
"You know something."
Wilson opened his mouth and clamped it shut again, and finally spoke. "I know nothing. I have a few theories, but . . . what was House doing with my wedding ring anyway?"
Cuddy gave Wilson a brief description of the previous evenings events and gave thought to sinking down onto his couch when she had finished recounting every embarrassing scene. She concluded her recap with one likely unanswerable question. "Why can't he just act like a normal human being?"
The other doctor shrugged and reverted to an earlier statement. "Because he's House?" The look Cuddy shot him was all the prompting Wilson needed to offer something better. "Because 'normal' is a relative term and that is 'normal' House behavior? Look, if you want my opinion, and keep in mind I know nothing, I think House likes you."
"House likes to make my life miserable. Both personal and professional, and he has since college." Cuddy released a ragged sigh and crossed her arms over her chest, suddenly feeling a little vulnerable.
"And this makes you crazy because you have feelings for House?" Wilson tried, trudging into dangerous territory, purposely not giving his words a second thought.
Suddenly, she felt like she did when she was four and her mother caught her standing on a chair with her hand in the cookie jar half an hour before dinner. Caught and trapped with the only exit blocked by someone waiting for her to explain herself. "I . . . feel a certain level of responsibility toward House." She was lying. She, of course, knew it. He knew it. And she knew he knew it. And they both knew it was a matter of time before she came clean. After all, she was a great boss, a wonderful friend, but a terrible liar.
Wilson nodded once, the way he did when he wanted House to know he was on to his obvious lie. "Right."
Now Cuddy was thinking coming here, to Wilson's office, to find answers that no one but House would have was a huge mistake. "House is not the monogamous type. He doesn't want the same things from life that I do."
"If you're talking about a baby and possible relationship, I think he might be changing his mind. Or at least thinking he would like the option to share your wants if that's what he decides."
Cuddy started fussing with the necklace she was wearing. "I don't want someone that thinks they want what I want, because that's what I want. I want someone who knows he wants what I want, because that's what he wants for his life. And who wants to be with me because they care for me, not because someone else wants me."
Wilson moved from leaning against the edge of his desk to sitting next to Cuddy on the couch. He cautiously placed a friendly hand on her knee. "Maybe he's always wanted what you want, but it took your wanting it for him to realize it. And as far as the other. If House didn't care for you for you, it wouldn't matter who you went out with. He would find some other way to torment you besides breaking up your dates. Like, I don't know, setting you up with complete losers?"
"Yeah," she snorted. "Or he would help me find Mr. Right and becoming his best friend."
"Who knows what he would do? He is House, master of torture. You could always pretend to be appreciative of his efforts. Keep going out on dates and thank him when he busts them up," Wilson offered half jokingly, hoping to lighten the mood.
Cuddy got up and walked toward the door, getting ready to leave. She couldn't help but laugh at House's likely reaction to being thanked for ruining a date. "He definitely wouldn't expect that. And it is a t thought. Thank you for your input." She placed her hand on the door handle, then turned back. "Can I buy a very insightful friend lunch, as a thanks for listening to even more of my House related woes?"
"Sure, I'll meet you in your office about one-thirty?"
She nodded and left Wilson's office, still smiling at the thought of genuinely thanking House for the next interrupted date. She sobered a little when she saw House limping down the hallway.
"Wilson finally in trouble for a change?"
"Board meeting this afternoon," she answered while glancing at her watch.
"Oh, doctory stuff."
"Which remind me," Cuddy began, earning a wince from House. "You're supposed to be in the clinic."
House held up his pager," one of the kids paged me. I'll get back there as soon as I find out who called which one a bad name."
Cuddy nodded and placed a hand on House's upper back. "Okay, I'll go with you, then we'll go back to the clinic together."
He hated when she caught him lying and refused to play along. It was rare and usually ended up catching him off guard. "Really, Cuddy, how are the kids ever going to respect me and my authority if Mommy is always right there to step in and over rule Daddy? I'll handle this and have the little one take notes for you, then meet you in your office for a full report and maybe a little very private Mommy/Daddy playtime."
"They paged you didn't they? And since when did you become so 'paternal'?"
House stopped short of his offices and turned to face Cuddy. "Don't you have an assistant to fire? Or an intern you need to make cry?"
"Lets just drop the act, House. You're trying to cut out of clinic duty and I caught you. NicU is short staffed today and Chase is helping out until a couple of nurses get here. Foreman is at lunch with his girlfriend, and Cameron is in the lab chatting up one of the new techs."
"Would you believe that I'm such a brilliant doctor that my very presence in the clinic healed everyone and they skipped to their cars?"
Cuddy gave her best "nice try" look and shook her head. "Think of clinic as . . . a rest for your brilliant mind. We can't have our resident mad scientist burning out, and shorter work days and weeks are out of the question. Of course a good alternative to clinic duty is catching up on your paperwork."
"You caught me. I was planning to surprise you. I skipped out of nose wiping detail to come up here and finish all my paperwork for one month. Now you've gone and ruined it."
She reached out and gently squeezed one of his hands. "I am sufficiently surprised, believe me. Now, stun me speechless and actually do it."
He looked up, pretending to give serious thought to her words. "Speechless? I'll see what I can do." House smirked, stole a quick, appreciative glance down her shirt, and turned to walk into his office.
When he walked through the glass door, she stood in the hallway a little disappointed. Over the years she had grown accustomed to the comments that teetered on the edge, if not defined the very term of, sexual harassment. Now, he was throwing curve balls right and left these days and she wasn't quite sure how to react. The latest being a barely obvious peek down her top and her actual disappointment that he neglected to make even a mildly suggestive comment. As she clicked her way down the hall toward the elevator, Cuddy wondered if she shouldn't give serious thought to seeing a therapist.
When House was sure Cuddy wasn't lurking outside his office, he slipped out the back door and "hopped" the wall separating his balcony from Wilson's. He jerked open the glass door. "What was Cuddy doing up here?"
"What makes you think I would know?" Wilson asked, trying not to make eye contact with his friend.
"Hmm, because you are answering questions with questions? You aren't making eye contact? You reek of suspicion? This office smells like her perfume?"
Wilson closed the file he had been scanning and pushed it to the side, made a note on a sticky pad and placed his ink pen back in its holder. "She wanted company for lunch," he answered nonchalantly, choosing to tell the truth and play it off as no big deal.
House glared at the door leading to the hallway and allowed an unreadable smirk to cross his lips. "Would that be before or after the surprise board meeting this afternoon?"
"What surprise board meeting? This is our regular board meeting, House." Thinking quickly, Wilson attempted to snuff out any amount of suspicion that might be parading through House's head. "They changed a couple of items on the agenda and Cuddy came up to fill me in. I have a patient due here any second and we decided to finish talking about it over lunch, then its off to the meeting. Why do you care?"
House hobbled toward the door to the hallway, "I'm heavily invested in what goes on in this hospital."
Wilson pulled on his lab coat, "only if it involves Cuddy. Or if you can find a way to make everyone around you miserable. Look, House, whatever it is that you feel for Cuddy, I suggest you do something about it." House opened his mouth to comment and Wilson stopped him. "I don't have time for this. I have patients to see and I'm sure you have important loafing to do. I will say that if you really care for her, try to show it like an adult before you lose her."
