Author's Note: Sorry for the delay. Life got extremely busy. Thank you for all of the forms of support (subscribing, commenting, favoriting, or just reading). I have a few chapters that will hopefully be coming your way soon. Enjoy : )
Chapter 2
One of the roughest parts of being a shinobi, physically, was waking up after working like a dog. For the past month, Kakashi had barely even been home because he had been working so much. Even today, he had only come home about four hours ago, but being a father usually meant you didn't sleep as much as you'd like.
"When's Daddy getting up?" Kohaku asked loudly from the main room of the house. "We're supposed to paint my room today!"
"He's really tired Sweetie, so you'll have to wait," Kurenai said calmly as she made Kohaku breakfast. Before Kohaku had time to accept having to wait longer, Kakashi came crawling out of bed and stumbling into the kitchen.
"Daddy!" Kohaku said excitedly, hugging his leg as he steadily made his way over to the table. "I'm so excited to paint today! Me and Mama got the colors and everything while you were working, so we can start right after breakfast!"
"Okay," he said tiredly as he blinked himself awake.
"Daddy, I have so many ideas!" she said dramatically as she ran to her room to grab her ideas to show Kakashi. Kurenai walked over to Kakashi and wrapped her arms around him, letting him tiredly lean his head on her shoulder.
"It's sweet that you're doing this for Kohaku, but you need to sleep," she whispered. "If you want to go back to bed, I'll distract her for a few hours."
"That's okay. After we paint, I'll sleep," Kakashi mumbled. His body protested at the idea of moving, with his joints being so sore and his head pounding. Kurenai kissed his cheek and then went back to making breakfast.
"So, here's what I want to do with my room," Kohaku said as she handed Kakashi a piece of paper. "See how I want to paint flowers and butterflies on top of the green?"
"Mmhmm," he mumbled with his eyes closed, knowing that she wasn't really looking at him.
"Kohaku, maybe you should practice painting flowers and butterflies on paper for a little bit before painting your walls," Kurenai said with a smile. "I think there is some paper in the attic."
"Okay!" Kohaku said excitedly as she ran from her spot in the kitchen and up to the attic.
"Now's your chance," Kurenai whispered. "Go to bed. I'll distract her."
"You're the best," Kakashi said tiredly as he made his way to the bedroom, locking the door behind him and collapsing into an exhaustion induced slumber.
He woke up several hours later to an eerie silence in the house. Being a shinobi, his mind instantly went to the worst possible situation and he ran into the main room of the house, only to see Kurenai and Kohaku sitting there as if they did something wrong.
"What happened?" he asked with concern. "Is everything okay?"
"I'm sorry Daddy," was all Kohaku said as she handed Kakashi one of his father's journals, now covered in flowers and butterflies on the inside. Obviously, it irritated him that she drew all over his father's things, but he wasn't going to be mad at her.
"It's alright. Just don't go through my books again," he said as his eyes scanned the book.
"It's time for bed anyways Kohaku," Kurenai said as she took the little girl's hand and led her towards the bathroom. "Let's get you ready."
As they walked out, Kakashi took a seat in the kitchen again, opening the book up. After working so much for so long, he deserved a little break, and maybe this journal could give him that.
Sakumo's Black Journal
Age 25
Location: Konoha
January 1
Dear Whoever Is Reading This,
I don't think I've really been this excited about having some time off, but I am. Shinju is coming back into town, and well, I think I'm going to do it. I've been thinking about it for a long time now, but I think I've come to a decision. I'd like to marry her, if she feels the same that is. She can be so hard to read sometimes that even though I've known her for years and have been dating her for a little over 3 years, I still have no idea how she'll respond.
I talked to my father about my decision, and he wasn't as happy about it as I had hoped. He and Mother both still want me to be with Akari, which I can't even imagine because she's much more of a friend to me than anything like that. Even though he wasn't happy, he said that he wanted himself and Mother to meet Shinju before proceeding. I guess we'll see what happens.
Sakumo
January 3
Dear Whoever Is Reading This,
It feels so good to have Shinju back in town, especially since she seems very excited about meeting my parents. Well, her reaction was more of "It's about damn time!" but you get the point. I'll come back and write more after we get back from my parents' house.
Sakumo.
January 3 (cont.)
That was a disaster. No, really, it was a disaster. At first, it seemed to be going pretty smoothly, even though my mom didn't exactly look happy about her potential future daughter-in-law being a fighter, even if she was only in a local militia, even though she loves Akari, who is the same rank shinobi as I am... Father was a little more subtle about his disinterest in her, being polite enough, but my mother... It was almost embarrassing the questions she was asking Shinju. I guess because most of Shinju's friends are men (come on, her profession is filled with men. That would be what is expected) that my mother thinks she sleeps around or something. If she thought that, I guess I wouldn't care too much, but asking Shinju questions about that at dinner was... well, horrible. Shinju instantly got offended, flat out asking if my mother was calling her a whore, and my mom said "if the shoe fits".
Can you see what I mean by me saying that it was a disaster? My parents are furious with me for loving such a person, I'm furious with them for treating her like they did, and Shinju... well, I don't know what she's feeling right now. She hasn't talked much since we left my parents' house.
Sakumo
January 6
A pros and cons list about proposing to Shinju
Pros
-Marrying someone I adore
-I think she would say yes.
-She would move to Konoha.
-She'd have the chance to become a shinobi like she's always wanted to.
-I'd get to have sex with her (I can't believe that's a factor... but come on. It is.)
-We would probably have children, which would be definitely interesting...
Cons
-My parents despise her.
-There is the slightest possibility that she'll say no.
-I feel as though any child of hers will probably be rambunctious.
-I'm not sure how other people in Konoha would handle her.
A pros and cons list about marrying Akari
Pros
-It will be definite because our parents have pretty much planned it already.
-She already lives in Konoha.
-My parents would be happy.
Cons
-I don't love her.
-I wouldn't be able to be with Shinju anymore.
January 9
Dear Whoever Is Reading This,
Well, I did it. I proposed to Shinju and she said yes. I went and told my parents and it was far from good. My mother cried and my father yelled at me for making my mother cry. I don't know how I feel about this just yet.
Sakumo.
January 15
Dear Whoever Is Reading This,
I'm back to working and Shinju is back home. We decided that since my parents aren't exactly happy about all of this that she'll move to Konoha soon and we'll try to warm them to the idea a little more before actually getting married. On a lighter note, she seems to really like calling me Fiancé more than my actual name now, but that could just be because she's excited.
Sakumo.
February 10
Dear Whoever Is Reading This,
I've been much too busy to write in this recently, but as a catch up, Shinju just moved in with me and has scheduled her private test to see what rank shinobi she will become. I've never really seen her so excited about anything, except maybe something involving weaponry or blacksmithing.
Sakumo
March 20
Dear Whoever Is Reading this,
I really don't think I've ever seen Shinju so happy. She's very much in her element in Konoha, especially with the Hokage acknowledging her talents as a weapons crafter. She's been raving about some blacksmithing area within Konoha that he's been letting her work in, yet she won't let me see anything she's been working on.
As far as the situation with my parents, they still aren't speaking with me, so it makes it very difficult to change their minds about her.
Sakumo.
April 13
Dear Whoever Is Reading This,
I understand now why Shinju wouldn't let me see what she'd been working on. Today she came home acting particularly giddy, only to then present me with the most beautiful tanto I have ever seen in my life. She went on to explain that it's made of a special kind of material that conducts chakra in the same way that metals conduct electricity. Even though she's a personal fan of large swords, she figured a tanto would be more practical for me.
I'm trying to think of a way to repay her for the blade, but she insists that it was her pleasure to make it. She went on and on about how she crafted it so carefully, making sure every detail was perfect. I love the way she can be so passionate about anything. It's one of my favorite parts of her.
Sakumo
April 19
Shinju went to my parents' house alone, insisting that she could convince them that our marriage would be a good thing. I'm worried about her, but she seems to think that this will work, so I'm going to trust her.
Sakumo
April 22
Ever since she talked to my parents, Shinju hasn't been herself at all. Normally, I can barely even decode what she's thinking, and that hasn't changed too much, but now she's just overemotional. The only time I had ever seen her cry in my entire life was when we found her family all those years, yet within the past few days she has randomly burst into tears. Every time I try to comfort her and find out what's wrong, she just shakes her head. I wish she would tell me what's wrong, but I don't want to force her to, because I could see that causing more harm than good. No, I'll just give her a few more days to calm down, and then we'll talk.
Sakumo
Just like the last time Kakashi had been reading a journal, there was a letter tucked in between the pages. Without any hesitation, he pulled the worn paper out of the envelope. Unlike the last letter, this one had seemed as though it was read several times with its very prominent folds.
Dear Sakumo,
I'm sorry for being so pensive and elusive for the past few days, but I have been locked in a battle within myself. Now I've finally made my decision. I'm sure you've noticed by now that I'm gone. I cannot in good conscious marry you. As much as I love you, your parents were right when they told me you can do much better.
I know right now you're probably protesting because that's so like you, and I'm not embarrassed to admit that it makes me feel good to know that you don't think that, but Sakumo, unfortunately this world isn't made of just you and me. You are a very prominent shinobi in this village, and... Well, I'm an outsider. Besides you and Jiraiya, who do I know here? No one. And I hear the gossip, as I'm sure you do. The horrible things people have been saying about me. I just cannot put you through that.
Don't take this as me saying that I do not wish we were still marrying, because trust me, I do. I still have your ring, if you don't mind... I considered leaving it at the house, but I wanted to keep it because in my heart, we are married. I love you more than I could love anyone else, which is why I have to let you go. But, I will always be with you in the blade I made special for you. Every day I will think about you, hoping that you're still alive and well, but that will be the most contact we will have. Goodbye.
Love, Shinju.
Kakashi was extremely confused now. How could they have not been married? This woman was his mother, right? Maybe not. But then why would his father have all of her journals? That didn't make any sense to him.
May 16
Akari and I have set our wedding date for June. My parents are thrilled and well... I guess I'm okay with it.
Sakumo.
